1.) after high school, people really do change. your best friend is no longer your best friend, the girl who intimidated you is now one of your best friends, your old friends never really liked you they just kept you around long enough until they drop you.

2.) that girl or boy you’re crushing on isn’t worth it. yes they may be cute and have an amazing smile but it’s never going anywhere. they’ll never feel the same no matter how hard you try to put yourself out there and impress them.

3.) it’s okay to be single. you’re young and you don’t need to be tied down to a relationship right now. go out with your friends and have fun, meet different guys every night. the right one will come your way soon enough, just give it time.

4.) there’s no rush to grow up. you’ve already graduated so it seems like you have to have your whole life figured out right? wrong. You just need to have some sort of plan, and if you don’t have one right away that’s perfectly fine, there’s no rush to grow up.

5.) you will find your purpose in life eventually. you will find the thing you’re most passionate about, you will have a job you absolutely love, making a decent amount of pay, and be happy. it just takes time.

your lips taste like sin
alcohol breath and
cigarette smoke mixed
with a hint of mint
baby, i’m addicted to you

she admires him from afar

sneaking glances every now
and then hoping he doesn’t
catch her staring at the boy
she’s in love with

she is small
but she is also large,

she is strong
but she is also weak,

she is loved
but she is also broken.

- about me

“isn’t it beautiful?” the girl said with a twinkle in her honey colored eyes as she admired the sunflower field before her. bright yellow sunflowers scattered all around in an open field just waiting for girls like her to fall in love.

“yes it is, it’s gorgeous.” the other girl replied, with a smile. although she wasn’t talking about the field, she was admiring the girl twirling in the field of flowers. she snapped a picture with her camera of the other girl as she thought about kissing her sun kissed skin all over. she’s a lovely girl. a girl who knows what she wants. the flowers dance as the wind blows. the girl put her camera down and ran into the flowers, finding the other girl. she hugged her from behind. the brown eyed girl turned around, facing her. suddenly, the blonde haired girl grabbed the young girl’s face, kissing her cherry colored lips as the sun loved their skin on this hot summer day.

how can i avoid you
when you’re in my thoughts
24/7

how can i avoid you
when i see you everywhere
i look

how can i avoid you
when i’m in love with
you

i always fall for the bad ones

the ones who arrived from the shadow
the ones who lurk in the darkness and
flirt with danger
the ones who allow reality to slip
through their finger tips
the one whose pale face shone
in the golden sun

you see the bad ones aren’t
afraid of sampling death
they are risk takers

the bottom line is
when a good one comes along
i push them away because
the bad one still needs fixing

the bad ones do have
a way with my heart
and it gets broken
over and over

guess who comes running back?
i can still fix them if they’d let me

anyone can write poetry you just have to be poetic. if you find the way the light falls through your window and onto your bedroom wall pretty, write about it. call it soft and golden like the sweet taste of honey. if it makes you glad to be alive then it’s not silly. you look for the beauty of things, be proud of that. always look for beauty in the little things in life. if you’re feeling sad, describe how you’re feeling with writing. use your sadness to create something. say the heavy rain is kissing you. write about the glow of the moon, the dancing of flowers. make your world magical. collect your metaphors and treasure them forever.

trace poems on
my inner thigh
paint a sunset
between my *******

write love letters
between my legs
use my body
as your blank canvas

GREEN: older than me, very very sweet, looked at me as if i were your sister. you were my neighbor and you babysat my brother. 4 years older than me. you had green eyes and played guitar. I chose green for you because you went into the military and fought for our country. i still think about you all the time. you were my first real crush. you were a sweet genuine guy who only saw me as a friend.

BLUE: a year older than me, kind of shy. cannabis took over your mind and soul. we never really spoke it was more of an admire from afar type thing. you had these breathtaking blue eyes it was like someone put the ocean in them. you had the bad boy vibe which i fell for.

YELLOW: ah, yellow. one of my favorite. we had classes together all throughout high school except senior year. you are a gorgeous human with your tanned sun kissed skin and your curly golden locks. a foreign beauty. half spanish and half german. i have wanted to be with you ever since i laid eyes on you. now that we are somewhat talking i long to experience your body in it’s full effect. i dream of us living in italy together.

RED: my favorite color. specifically burgundy. you were a dream. you looked exactly like my dream boy i had pictured in my head. with your perfectly sculpted jawline as if you were a greek god, your gorgeous eyes as they twinkled in the sunlight, the way you dress with such a sense of fashion made me swoon. you were a dream that never came true.

BLACK: my most recent color. i am completely infatuated with the idea of you. i first noticed you in the hallway with your black headphones and sweatpants on. i knew immediately that you would be my next victim. ever since we got high together my world has gone upside down. those nights we spent working together as i admired how good you looked in your black apron. those nights we spent in your car at 10pm as you drove me home. you made my world black

i watch the sunlight drown
it dives down full of despair
i see you closely behind me
in the shadows of the dark
tears streaming like rivers down your
beautiful face
i reach out to caress you
but as soon as i touch your face
i am burned, you are made of fire

you ignited a fire inside my bones
i am now a part of you
i’m too close to the flame
my heart is now scorched ashes
thanks to you, i’m melting into you
“i’m sorry” you say as our souls fuse together as one again

burn me once, shame on you
burn me twice, i am yours once again

i bring my notebook
into the coffee shop
writing down my
thoughts for the day

sipping on a frappe
i let my pen lead the way
writing and writing
about anything and everything

sitting in a coffee shop
with various voices
alternative music
all around me

meeting new people
focusing on my thoughts
letting the coffee fill my veins

her tongue is a serpent
slithering slowly into my mouth
careful not to let the poison touch me

she tastes dangerous like smoke
and breath mints

i can feel her pumping through my veins,
coursing through my heart

she is now a part of me

a reality seduced by danger is
what made her want him more
the passion between them was electric
the way their bodies fit together like
puzzle pieces in the night
she’s addicted to the thrill
and to the evil angel who
wants her to be his forever

the flowers that
once bloomed in
my mind because
of you are now
dead and withered

her lust filled mind
ignited a fire inside
of her

she has such desire
to be touched
to be loved
to be wanted
by someone
by anyone

she wants to be loved

i felt you exit through my chest,
you were a part of me but i guess
i wasn’t enough
with each weeping breath i felt
fragments of you leave
releasing themselves from my tightly
clenched throat
carbon dioxide flavored lies expelled through my lips
your soul slowly lifted its way out of me
what i fool i was to believe i could keep you
with me no matter what
you were made solely for drifting away

confidence flows through
my body like a river as i
press my foot on the gas
going faster and faster

i take a deep breath as i
feel the wind in my hair
as the music blares through
the speakers

i am doing it
i am a good driver
everything is okay
i finally feel free

you’re like my own personal drug
my drug of choice ranges from
rolling you up like a joint

to snorting you like coke
or shooting you up like ******
and sometimes popping you
like a xanax

to even placing
you on my tongue
like a tab of acid

and when i’m without you
I get horrible withdrawals
i cry myself to sleep sometimes

i have to be with you at all times
or else i’ll go crazy you make me
forget all the bad things you make
me feel something like i’m wanted

i’m addicted to you

i never thought i would make it this far
i told my mother
what do you mean? she asked
in life I replied

- I never thought I'd make it to eighteen

tear stained lined paper
as the pen scrambles angrily
writing about everyday life
as her demons approach her

she slams them inside her
journal which she keeps
to escape the nightmare
she's living in

- escape from reality

i know i can’t have you
that’s why i console my heart 
with my own mental scenarios
sometimes we cuddle
the bed soft and comfy 
you wrap me in your sweet embrace
and kiss me tenderly


your lips are soft

i can feel your breath

steady, warm, calm
it awakens my senses
my body
 shivers crawls
down my spine
 it felt so real 


except, sadly it wasn’t the reality 
i suffer for you are not mine
let me hope
let me wish
let me imagine you were mine

she met molly at a festival
molly made her happy
molly made her dance
molly made her forget

we’re gonna be best friends forever
molly whispered in her ear

she popped another
forever and ever
she replied with a smile

i met this girl once
she was different
“wanna have some fun?”
she whispered

this feeling of euphoria
courses through my veins
when i’m with her

she created stars in my eyes
so full of light
she makes me feel ecstatic
she opened my eyes to a new world
a world where i’m happy

she makes everything so bright
and vibrant, full of color
she heightens my senses

i’ve fallen in love with her
dancing and laughing
under the moonlight
i never want to be
alone without her again

“why do you write
about him so much?”
my friends ask me

“because this way
I’m his forever”
i reply

“when will it be him?”
my girlhood cries

“sadly, never”
my heart responds

she’s the type
of girl to
grind your
heart into little
pieces and roll it
then smoke it
right in front of you

once you graduate high school
you see people for who they
really are

people change and
sometimes not for the better

your best friend is now your
worst enemy
the person who intimidated you
is now one of your friends
the boy you had a crush on
is now irrelevant

some people enter high school
with tons of friends
and leave with a few friends

others enter high school
with a few friends
and leave with none at all

- my high school experience

he pinned me up
against the wall
and kissed me

i asked “why the wall?”

he smirked and said
“because art belongs
on walls”

your eyes remind me
of a crystal clear
sea with waves
crashing every second

sometimes you
just need a shot
of inspiration
and a swig of
emotion to help
write poetry

i imagine you
kissing me but
i know you’re
out there kissing
someone else and
it kills me

“yeah sure i don’t see why not” he says with a small smirk on his face looking at the petite girl standing before him when she asked for a ride home the next time they work.

she blushes and replies “alright cool”
little does the boy know that the girl is infatuated with him.

she asks him for rides home all the time. she stares at him all the time. she’s in love with him and he has no idea.

your light blonde hair
resembles the sun
so bright and beautiful

my dark black hair
resembles the moon
so ominous and lonely

together we are infinite
in this cruel universe

does that kind of love exist anymore? that kind where two people and their souls become one, that kind where you don’t have eyes for anyone else, eyes that don’t wonder, where the connection and love is so strong that an eternity together isn’t enough to express the feelings you have for someone so perfect, i crave that kind of love

kissing you
is like
tasting the sun

the devil is real
and he’s living
under my roof

friends are like coins
they have two faces

some are shiny
some are dull
some are valuable
some are worthless

people collect them
people lose them

I've lost all my coins

- lost coins

the memory of
losing you plays
over and over
in my mind
like a broken record