5 days ago

All it took was a glance
And a single choice in time
A moment that would linger
An emerging paradigm

All it took was a taste
Reality crumbled at my feet
I had never known a drug
To be so bitter and so sweet

All it took was a touch
And I forgot my name
Words dissolved on my toungue
With only you to blame

You left a mark
Like a fossil in my soul
For I'm forever changed
Not broken, but not quite whole

#love   #sad   #life   #fire   #drugs   #romance   #reality   #mind   #drug   #sanity  

It begins with a thought a glimpse of the past slowly transcending into a ride. I begin to realize that I'm loosing ahold of reality like the ripples in water from a drop of time falling down upon its suttle nature. I'm looking up at the stars as if there's a message for me or a beautiful escape to distract myself from the coughs and the clouds burning inside of me that I create with the lungs I treat so cruely night after night. Breath after breath the clouds surrond me as if to enclose myself in a place without fear or Worry, without pain or sorrow. These grey clouds whisper in my ear explaining how things work and filling me with questions. I count down starting from three and with each blink I descend deeper and deeper to only be brought up higher. I blink hard, I'm looking down upon a  child who's seen so much, who's felt too much, who's going through so much hes tryng to cry to wash away and let go of his pain but all his tears have already been spent long ago. So he inhales the grey clouds and with each breath he takes his eyes begin to wonder, his mind is rather occupied by the memories, overflowing and drowning all at once. I blink a second time, The clock strikes midnight, time takes its toll and with each second I'm falling back to where it all began, I try to claw my way back up but the clouds have disappeared no longer there to float me back up to the gates of heaven. I feel a hole in my stomach as I lick my lips, I realize the music has ceased to move in me so I remove the technology from my ears and begin to listen to the hunger in my stomach instead, forevermore growing stronger and heavier, a hunger that strikes me like lightning whenever i get a hint of its aroma in the crisp and cold air, an aroma that reminds me of what it was like to taste heaven and forget about all the people that have died, all the beatings I've endurerd. A little boy still trapped inside of a growing mans body.  The feeling to be separated from the part of him that's still scared stirs in his heart like an ocean filled by tears and years. I blink again, time speeds back up my thoughts cease to crowd me I realize and visualize what it was like so see the stars move contemplating and waiting impatiently until the grey clouds return .

#peace   #pain   #time   #memories   #past   #drug   #forget  

Don't ask me how I got here, kid.
unless every time your College head hears the 20th century definition of "Awesome" or "Adventure"
You can hear "sandstorm" instead
wrap the lust in caution tape.
don't want you finding out
Our feet
are the same size.
you're anxious

can't you sit still?

you afraid of bein' caught?

Let me tell you a secret.
nobody is watching you.

If you really wanna learn how to get here

live by that.

I assumed you wanted something?
Follow me.
don't be afraid of that cloud Over there
He just plays guitar
for cigarettes
So he can smoke 'em
Simple man, that Smokey
Not in the kiddy selling business,
Or a mercenary, or part of the
in and out
and in and out and in
and out
Of jail crew
he just plays guitar
and smokes cigarettes.
marlboro reds.
how many did you want?
Would you stop talkin' so fast?

remember not to take more than two.

And you're eating?

I take care of you...

how about a kiss?

Oh, ho
ho And you were scared of the clouds.

Light it.

put your clothes on kid.
good luck on your finals.

remember to eat.

remember who takes care of you.

#trust   #friend   #evil   #bad   #drug   #demon   #king   #abstract   #scary   #ally  

I've always let you back in
You were my favorite drug
You were my happy place
Beyond the clouds, with time and space
So I always let you back in
You always taste so sweet
but in my stomach felt like sin
But I keep letting you back in
I keep letting you back in

#love   #drug   #forgiveness   #anxious  
Mar 12

Too thoughtful,
too open,
regrets put in motion.

Too awful,
too hurting,
two truths now unearthing.

One secret,
one drug to unleash it.

One passion,
one action,
one heart with two factions.

#love   #regret   #passion   #pain   #hurt   #secret   #drug  

It's been a while now,
I can't remember what it feels to have you wearing your impulses while you breathe on my neck

Can't remember what it feels to be the reason you need to catch your breath

Can't remember what you and your body taste like,in every respect

Can't remember but will I ever reminisce again with someone else?

Heroines and Heroin
#lust   #drug   #reminisce   #cravings  

You are my own sin ,
All we do is run ,
Isn't it fun?
I feel you in my veins ,
It electrifies everyone of my cells,
My drug ,
Better than cocaine ,
Better than heroine,
But when I wake up ,
Where are you ?
Sometimes I doubt your even real,
Then you come back ,
My drug,
But when I hear the door close ,
I know this time ,
That your not coming back ,

At least that's what I tell myself ,
But deep down I know ,
That I can never quit you .

Big time problems in a small-minded town
decades of decay and festering in sin
a diminutive escapee drawn to a big city
painfully gaunt and desperately thin

Demons chasing her down many errant paths
a wretched childhood and off the rails
violated, ruined, spirit crushed and heartbroken
the book-shelves are full of these misery tales

Homeless and hapless, wallowing in addiction
plentiful narcotics her weakness of choice
the city streets filled with dealers of death
"This will end in tears", screamed her inner voice

Beyond the pale and pale beyond belief
crossing the line too many times
this unforgiving city eating her soul
funding her habit with petty crimes

Luck running out in a cycle of mayhem
the Angel of Death loomed large in her view
semi-conscious she faded, her pain soon to end
then a fated saviour to her last minute rescue

The reformed addict laid a hand on her shoulder
he knew what to do, he knew the urgency
he'd been there, done it, got the last chance t-shirt
delivered from her stupor to accident and emergency

The rehabilitated saviour her rock after the hard place
a painfully slow process, 2 steps forward, 1 back
she needed her knight in shining armour
to fight her demons when under attack

Their clean lives now shared happily together
her life was saved in a moment of fate
defying the experts and defeating the odds
their futures secured with their true soul mate

Not autobiographical but based on fact
#love   #addiction   #drug   #fate   #saviour  

Stuck Between Her Echoes & Voices,
Drowning In His Drug Induced Choices,

Illuminating The Beacons Of His Desolation,
By Augmenting His Cerebral Evolutions,

Reflexes Cracking Her Color Morale,
Initiating A Hearty Battle Royale,

Stuck Between His Sense & Sanity,
She Kept Searching For His Firmament Of Destiny,

Detainee Of His Manic Subversion,
She’s A Victim Of A One Sided Version,

She Feels Pseudo Experimental,
Victim To His Desecrated Addiction Accidental,

His Cataclysmic Urges,
Triggering Her Into Persistent Anxiety Surges,

Claustrophobic Under Hypnosis,
He Insurrected Catastrophic Psychosis,

She’s Dressed In His Intoxicated Restrains,
Wishing She Could Aid Him Refrain.
An Unrequited Dreamt Scarred Stain,
Unattainable Myth Under Heavy Rain,

Looking In His Chemical Eyes,
She Desires Consequences Without Lies,

Still Sealed Up In His Dreams,
Hopes To An Another Realm.

#love   #dream   #addiction   #battle   #sorrow   #drug   #realm   #voices   #victim   #echoes  

+Dedicated to Daniel "The Denver Connection" Steven Moskowitz,+

You gotta believe me,

I blazed a j with Jeffy Sessions,
But the bastard will never admit it.

It was some real good,
Colorado Kush,
14% THC and 7% CBD,
So our thoughts were all over the place.

I started "Lost Boys,"
By the Deathy Gripz,
And he loosened his belt.

He told me about growing up,
In the most biodiverse state in the nation,
Eating nothing but white bread,
And his papa,
Never luvin' him.

His big bug eyes popped out,
And he got down on his knees,
Praising Jehovah,
Pretending like he was gobbling the cock,
Of the Kochy Bros,
And told me of his visions,
Floating over the Rockies,
Toward the Alabama pine lands.

"We're gonna get 'em all,
Nateive Son,
We're gonna arrest all the weed smokers,
And those fucking hippies,
Those gas protestors,
Compost faggots and,

He fondled his cufflinks.

Them eyes were blazing red like some sort of,
Lumberjack let loose in the Home Depot garden section,
And for a minute I thought I saw Lucifer,
But then I realized,
It was simply the duality of man.

Inside of all of us,
Rattlin' against the cage.

I was hooting the entire time,
Tape recorder in hand,
Wondering if this was good enough for Assange,
Or just to keep,
For my private enjoyment.

In the end,
It became a bizarre poem,


It's such a long way,

Jeffy's Jam: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWNdjEafof8
#lost   #drug   #boys   #old   #usa   #hilarious   #sessions   #joe   #jeff   #czar  
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