and i am back
at the point of left or right
to go on without anything of you.
in the past you've left
so why does my spot in your bed
always feel so right
i told myself that i'd be you this time
that your lack of emotion
would be perfectly fine
but alas you've admitted
and again i'm the only one
who thought this time would be
i could give you every inch of my skin
i could write you a millions words
but despite it all
you still can't find me within
i need to go right
i should be the one to leave you this time
but we both know this time is no different
and if it's either of us
it'll be me who gets left
What a revelation,
slowly understanding you, that is.
Your humility and silence were a thousand words unspoken and unwritten.
I could only imagine the unspoken love you harbour for the unspoken girl.
Such envy I feel, yet,
I shan’t do anything about this envy.
Not this time.
Not ever again.
I never did.
I say that now,
one day, when we’re older,
I’ll take the chance and ask again.
Break the ice, and melt away the strain.
But here I am,
already attracted to another smile.
I can't look at the sky
I can't stare at the waves
Is happiness being by your side though
Knowing that i'll be gone in the morning
This love continuing to be unsaved
I want my eyes to forget your
I want my heart to forget
That I hadn't felt this whole
My lips can meet new ones
I can touch other faces
I can feel the enchanting heat of the sun,
But the thoughts of you remain
In fragments of my life
Even if it comes with a side of pain
The sky used to keep me sane
Until it's inconsistent patterns
Screamed your name
The waves used to be my muse
Until its source of joy in my life
Reminded me that in yours
I am not and am only of
We are not worlds away ,in fact,we exist in the same and perhaps we each just occupy too much space,perhaps we cannot be together without suffocating one another.
Because I will always be too much for you as you will be for me.I will always be too young and too innocent.
Maybe even too pretentious,too disgustingly happy or too much of an overthinker.While you will always be too far from my grasp.You will always be two steps ahead of me.You are a drifter,despite your tendecy to easily get attached to people and things like me,you always have your eyes set towards the horizon,to the future that maybe.
Even now,when we are in the same city I feel as if we are already continents apart because despite our close proximity to one another,there is a universe between us.
And I want you to know that if one day, that universe decides to stretch out itself too far that not even the magpies of an ancient Chinese fairytale cannot help us shrink the distance between us,I will still be here,I will always love you in the way that I have always had and can—almost. It wouldn't be enough—it never is—but it is a comforting thought to know that at least we had tried,just not enough and that is okay.We will be okay. And I truly hope that I became significant enough in your life for you to be able to remember that I could have loved you and that I will always cling to that idea.Maybe in another world,in another time,an another me—more mature,better in every possible way and worthy could love you.In the meantime, I will numb whatever it is that has been killing me inside for the past few months,set my eyes on the horizon and meet my supposed future—one that doesn't include you and I know it sounds excruciating for my part but I have concluded that maybe it is what is best for the both of us.You could do better,everyone else that would even dare look at me does.I am not the kind of person you'd fall in love with.I am not the the kind of risk you can take.I am bad news and crap I want to be better for you but this is all I can manage to be.So,for the nth time I am sorry and I hope you remember I will always almost love you.I could have loved you if the Universe had let me.
Her smile fading out
She keeps running away
She ain't looking for help
Only the man that wouldn't stay
She knows he's gone
She watched him pack and leave
But she don't want the help
Just more bottles and weed
Her feelings turned off
She buried them deep within
She won't take your help
She won't be hurt again
You could try all your life
But her heart has been broken
She can't give you the pieces
Because she's already sold them