Being talked down to -
That never happened.

Being taken advantage of -
That isn't true.

Being stood up -
That's dramatic.

Being violated -
That's just plain wrong.

Being broken -
That's pathetic.


You put finger quotes around my word. The word I used to open up to you.

But oh... I'm so sorry. I didn't realize that you majored in my trauma enough to tell me my own history.



-t.s.

"Everything can be taken from a man
but one thing.
The last of human freedoms
- To choose one's attitude
In any given set of circumstances,
To choose one's own way."

Victor Frankel

calling out your name in the dark
It's become an excruciating custom now
An unquenchable thirst

daylight stings and moon hovers
dispassionately
over my head
heavy with laments over a fallen crest;

Still I imagine
still I dream
that you'll tune my painful screams
into a hushing lullaby,
with a promise of forever
you'd gift my gloomy tears a twinkling gleam;

But now I'm wearing this blindfold
refusing to see the light outshining this pathetic hope ;

You are not here yet,
Maybe you never will be,

But I'm not ready to move from you yet,
And I doubt that I'll ever will be free

From these painful lumps,
burning eyes
swollen throat
and prickled heart
emptying it's blood,
so slowly that years go by
And I can now feel the quitting of daylight
while my blindfold lets out a long sigh;
as if stating to end
this idiotic nonsense
of tucking heartbreak and love
under these lyrical verse;

Candle lights and a day long sigh
Gray evening tea resting by
the journal
which's last page I thought I'd pen today;

But I can't seem to narrate,
today's unfolding
about how the world I knew
Put off it’s last enchanting shred;

But this thought suddenly gone faraway
As if blown by the witches wind,
Yes, witches wind I would say
Though this reality was a thunderous cloud, it brought promise of rain;

And I didn't know my heart did witchcraft, so intense,
It hypnotised me to immerse myself in the indulgence
of cherishing an unlived memory again;

If there was a quest for the saddest shade,
I'll gladly give the address of my place,
Never-fading dull and gray;

But Gray,
with a little effort
would give-away the key to a divine delight;
That you hadn't known was always there in white;
The white that was tactfully jeopardized;

If you know gray,
then you know the scent of first rain,
Nostalgic yet refreshing.
If you know a jeopardized white,
you know sadness in disguise
Just like the way you smile
with your stabbed bleeding heart;

I'm frozen,
And I can see your spirit fade away
The liveliest shimmers of all I've seen,
And I can't do anything;

My heart burning,
Trying to melt my surrounding ice
giving a last try
to catch your glimmers,

Then it gave up
Because it apprehended to be late,
So struggle breathed out;

Then I don't know how long I slept
Maybe hoping to see you in my dreams,

Where we'll go to that street
where we always wanted to be
My rosy flush and your musing gaze
As the wind swept past the starry horizon
with the sparks of pure amaze;

The sweet scent of that blossoming love
I still remember
I watched it go away with my heart surrendered;

Now,
I'm an icy embody;

Witnessing only the passing times,
without hope;

Who could've thought that not getting over means
there's no hope?

Not that I see miles away;
Even if I try to
These icy flakes blocking my way,
I'm too cold to be resurrected now;