winter is near
and loneliness is here
I want to hug you like the sweater you wear
but in my heart there is a tear
because I miss you like sailors miss a swear
like a blind man, I can't find your love anywhere
and that's not right my love, it's just not fair
you may not mind this and you might not care
but while you are away, your body and your love
please do not share...
because you are all mine
and we shall return to one another in time.

and one day I took the wrong route home
in darkness I walked for way too long
through the valley of death
I heard a angel sing a song
I felt afraid because I was alone
two wings and two horns were shown
I tried to hurry along
but the path I had taken was gone.

I was born wild
looked after by one burdened cloud.

I grew alone,
strangers always came to vandalize my home.

The others died,
in a ****** open field they left me.

I am a bound tree.
Dying to be uprooted,

Waiting to be free
expectation has become my misery.

Day by day I decay,
I can't continue life this way.

I'm turning into a person I don't know,
not sure if I should stop
bust a U-turn
or
continue to go.

love is
something about you
promises I want to make true
come closer
let me show what I can do
like treat you right
tell me, could I be your wife?
cook, clean, please you in many ways
laugh at the cute stuff you say
if not, I'll still be loving you
forever and a day.

I had one chance
and I blew it.

You wouldn't look at me,
it was over, I knew this.

you ignored me and I wanted to cry
another lost lover, another goodbye.

I **** up often and don't know why.
you wished me well with life,

but without you, I may as well die.

I don't deserve you
this is true.
I change too often
every day I'm someone new.
But you still stick with me,
like Elmer's glue.
I remember making a wish,
and before I blew,
a white dove flew...
I closed my eyes and cried
because at the moment I knew...

that our friendship had grew...

and

I was in love with *you

In the land of love
I will be your angel
and you could be my dove....

In another lifetime
I could be yours and
you would be mine....

If Earth became Heaven
we would get married
woman and man....

*Too bad it does not exist,
only lust and temptation
that I sometimes find hard to resist....

Love can only exists in those
whose hearts have space.

you see, I was born empty
so love can reside in me.

but I have a hole and it always spills
so only for a second can I feel.

it's like being that kid
at a candy store
they smile at me,
I flirt more
flatter them until
my mouth is sore.

it's like hide in seek
in the dark
not knowing whether you'll find
a teddy bear or shark
afraid is my heart.

I keep driving down dead ends
I keep swimming in sin,
I keep seeking out men,
yet I find no one, nothing,
not even a friend.

I love you
and you too.

I need pink hearts
to color over my blue.

I love you,
and I love you them too...

I need you all,
I simply will not choose.

Love seems so far away.

When lust is available everyday.

like a dog chasing her tale,
since I've known you,
you've been under my spell.

like a child,
time did tell,
I grew to know you very well.

Then one day,
I grew clumsy and fell into your thrill
and you left me codependent and unable to feel.

at night
it's the worse.

you're my vice
a religious curse.

I was born sick
and you're my nurse.

release me Satan
take me to church!!!

Any romantic will tell you,
humans were made to love.*

For many years through dark eyes,
I seen the light of love.

Sweet nothings whispered in my ears,
I was told the secrets of love.

I inhaled and smelled
the sweetness of love.

We kissed and I savored
the flavor of love.

Only my heart could not feel.
So, I was unable to love.

we always argue about the same things
you think I'm confused
I think you're deranged.

we always talk about the same stuff
how you're dominant
and want me to be softer, although I was born tough.

why can't we just get along?
I write poetry
and you like songs.

I have always been called
a natural beauty
never seen the purpose
to cover my flaws
here I AM
imperfections and ALL.
I wear it well too........
all except this painted smile
Oh ...............yes................I forgot...........about................you

the sadness of her eyes
have become my sunshine

the loneliness is her voice
is a visit I welcome by choice

I can not offer her much,
besides my love and my time...

hoping it is enough to ease her weary *mind.

If I could, I would build you a heart
one that could not be broken
one incapable of falling apart

If I could, I would wash away your tears
drown them in the murky waters
with all of your fears

If I could, I would shelter you from harm
shield you from dark days
and frequent storms

If I could, I would protect you 24/7
saving you from this hell
until you ascend to Heaven

I had a friend name Mani.
I c why he never showed.
Once he did--- pressed his happiness
On ones he thought should know:
His highs got high but his lower went low....and this MANI C, are called episodes.

"please don't bother!"

"I'm someone's daughter...."

he didn't care

YOUR HONOR I AM GUILTY OF MANSLAUGHTER.

Killing                                                    softly
                                  you

  We will always           be unfinished business

  You will always          be one of my wishes

     I will always      seek your forgiveness

         For not giving you all my heart

                  even after vowing

                       until death
      
                          do us
                      
                           part

I can be awkward,
shy, introverted,
nervous, and my voice is weird
but my smile is beautiful.

I can be obnoxious,
dramatic, crazy,
needy, confusing,
but aren't my jokes amusing?

Truth is, I'm a hot mess everyday.
I smoke like a chimney
and drink away my kidneys
poor pretty girl with a ugly bladder,

If you don't fall for me,
I hope you at least fall in love with my laughter.

better he that is dead
than he alive
said someone
who still lives
said someone
who lies.

Rest in peace
is all I can say
as I attempt
to live better
if granted another
day.

I became a statistic
and
it made me sick.
**(*****)

My sleep warns me that I'm in trouble

but I wake up everyday like I'm fine

and everything is normal.

No longer the drugs,
Or the boys.
Still however: lust & thrills of joy.

I have a new addiction.

One many can't see.
How do I rid this habit,
When it is me?

They say when you love someone,

you should never treat them bad.

But, I keep messing up,

making Jesus sad.

**Lord have mercy on my sin and please don't get mad!

last night she cried black tears
reality was no longer clear
it had come true,
her biggest fear

He no longer loved her
he no longer cared
I told her to move on,
*but she wouldn't dare

dark hair
dark eyes
dark skin

darkness within.

dark personality
dark humor
dark smile

dwell with me in darkness
for a longer while.

dark love
dark ***
dark heart

you said I was your light
and I can't see how,
when I was born BLACK!

*dark from the very start.

I know I'm running out of time
fear has stolen what is mine
legs stuck, unable to move
too many roads in life, which one to choose?
2 steps forward , 5 steps back
my life's purpose is under attack
I hate defeat, can't stand to lose
**** this mid twenties blues

regret drowns me at night
doubts dance with fright
my bark is loud but not my bite
I try to run, flight or fight!

I may give up,
I just might
adulthood? I don't see the hype
especially when darkness outshines the light.

Midwestern girl
with the slow slang
come a little closer
watch her do thangs
she'll usually have
two first names
fried chicken is probably her favorite;
that child loves a ****,
don't forget a big old l o o o o n g danga lang
**** those country girls sho' a make ya head swang!!

To he whose will is strong and might,*

No vision is brighter
than the one
found in the darkness of night!

No longer shall you be blind
unable to see your life
but your eyes shall open
to see his precious gift of light!

I look in the crowd
looking for someone to blame
in the distance I hear my name.

I look in my puddle of tears
drowning out the picture of who I should be
but in that mirror,
something shocking I see:
A  sad girl whose made bad choices in life
pointing the finger right at ME.

I keep my feelings stored.
working on myself is a filthy chore.

I keep my truths hidden.
but who am I kidding?

you put me in timeout
now our love is forbidden.

I placed my ***** laundry,
with your pure linen.

Now you hate me,
will I ever be forgiven?

My heart was so vain
it fell for beauty despite disdaine
it fell for faces, it needed no names.

My heart was so ill
addicted to pleasures
lust was its favorite feel.

My heart is now in danger
last seen with
dark pretty strangers.

monster in her eyes
melody in her cries
magic in her fears
madness in her ears
mute in her lips
music in her hips
man in her bed
mistakes is what she dreads

I went to the store today
attempting to purchase
a clean mind
and a pure heart.
The cashier told me
"sorry we're out"
but was kind enough
to offer me a freebie
called a fresh start.

with you
I was searching for fire
someone to admire

In me you found a beautiful liar,
and you were the prettiest dead flower

with you
I was looking for magic
instead I found someone so tragic.

with you
I found gold under a rainbow

but a love as deep as the ocean
I still did not know.

so I refused to follow.
hesitant of heartbreak as I passed GO.

please tell you need me
even if it's a lie.

tell me your adore my personality
although I can be shy.

tell you'll be there
until the day I die.

tell me you believe in love at first sight
because you had me at "hi".

Little bird
What song do you sing?
Teach me to fly and I'll show you a thing.

Ferocious lion
Are you the King?
Teach me to hunt and I'll devour anything.

Heathen Human
Master of all,
Humble thyself
Before you fall.

I want to quit,
Sick and tired
I ain’t never satisfied!

I said I was okay,
I think I lied.
I was never satisfied.

Born with an open heart
Vulnerability stretched far and wide
Highs and lows; never satisfied

Too much confusion in her mind
Too much pride, humility died
Rest              in                    Peace

To she, who was never satisfied!

bulletproof vest.

Yet, I still bled.

Crossed my heart,

and held my head.



.

God brings us into the world
and his wife will take us out.

Not drugs,
not people,
not accidents,
not mistakes,
not weapons,
not disasters,
not anything else!

Nothing kills us more
than life itself!

I use to be his baby
now he has a baby.

I use to be his lady
now he has a lady.

He use to call me baby,
when I was his lady.

now he has a new set
and I'm just a single ex.

he didn't treat me the best
it's hard not be bitter, when he's blessed.