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Zulu Samperfas Nov 2013
A student again, how cute it is and really I feel free
the thoughts, of life, and planning and how things could be
not tied down to a job and obsessing about my boss did this and that
and what does it mean for me now and why and
today I had a wasted day but that is normal

Because life is full of wasted moments, and
the most tragic moments are those we don't feel
The painful part isn't that we were at the laundromat
and put our stuff down to study and highlight in different colors
and a woman put her family there on top of our stuff with McDonald's for five even
though there were only three, and that there was nothing good at the Goodwill
Even the Rainbow colored sweater from Lane Bryant, which was way too big
and that the laundry from a month took hours and yes, we really do have that many socks

What is wasted are those moments folding the pile of shirts where we are not there
we are somewhere lost in mourning over a lost love and thinking,
he loved me more than he loves her, I just know.
Because all we have at that moment is this pile of a zillion articles of clothing
most of which looks like it could be hanging at the Goodwil and
a flimsy plastic chair and two times the amount of highlighters we needed because they were half price and we are hungry, but the snack machine is turned off and you can
only look at the cookies and hot cheetohs
and yearn for them and imagine the flakey tenderness of the vanilla wafer
crumble gentley into your mouth, and watch your creepy
neighbors walk into the strip mall listening to a song on a phone
like it's a boom box
and this is your moment to feel and live
Ammar Butt Apr 2016
You used me,
Like a soulless piece of meat.
You used me,
As you burned me in your heat.

Your eyes full of lust,
As your demons were thirsty.
You agonized my body,
As I pleaded for mercy.

I shouted in pain,
I cried and I yelled.
But No one heard my voice,
No one came to help.

And then,
We were caught.
They said it was my fault!

I, am the one being abused!
Just look at the pain in my eyes?
You say I'm guilty,
As you're fooled by the devil's disguise.

Why did you leave me here?
Defenceless and alone.
Why did you not protect me?
Why did you not keep me home?

It's not my fault,
This is all on you!
You abandoned your daughter!
There was nothing I could do.

I have a question.

Did you know of the dirt under his fingernails when he buried his secrets.

Did you see the stains of my blood on his shirts.

The ones with which he wiped my body as I lay motionless on his bed.
Knowing that you still call me a disgrace,
Why don't you **** yourself instead!

But now, I'm going.
Somewhere far away.
To start over again,
Where no one would judge, nor will betray.

Somewhere near heaven,
Right next to a river.
Where God will be my guardian,
And I will be safe forever.

Today I leave this world with nothing but bad memories.
Today I leave this world with broken dreams and stories of miseries.

Goodbye to the parents I never had,
Goodbye to the monster who killed me but I'm glad.
I'm glad I died,
It's better than being eaten from the inside.
ottaross Sep 2013
Too early,  the dreary skies, the cold days.
The warm, the sultry, the windy without-a-coat ones
Were allowed to pass without note
And our opportunities to dust off the bike
To put the canoe in the water
Silently changed from must-do-soon
To wish-we-had-done.

Too quietly, our coats and sock and over-shirts
Took up positions nearer the door.
The sandals became stacked and set aside
The lawnmower found a place further back
Behind leaf-bags and rakes that await
The spaces between rainy days.

Too silent became the phone
Too still the mailbox
First summer, first birthday, first autumn
Without garden and cooking notes shared
Or stories of people I don't know.
Too long and silent will come the winter
Without her footprints in northern snow.
LS Nov 2013
Things he couldn't do for me:
Hold my hand in public
Kiss me in public
Give me his shirts or hoodies 
Keep us exclusive
Wait to have ***
Wait for anything
Wouldn't role play
Say I love you in person
Try to see me
Make me feel loved
Ignore the other girls

Things he could do (and did):
Break up with me
Kiss me in private
Try to get me high 
Make me feel bad
Lie to me 
Date my best friend
Pressure me for ***
******* off
Flirt with other girls
Make me feel stupid
And insecure
And ugly.
He made me feel like I'd never be good enough. 
He made me cry and dry heave.
Be forgiven with a smile.
Make me hate myself.
Make me think; if I was truly beautiful, wouldn't he want me? If he thought I really was gorgeous and perfect, why was he with her? 
Why did you choose her that night?
I could feel the depth of my words that night. It scared me. Why did you lie? I told you I didn't care if you were flirting with other girls. 
That night you went to Alex's. Dated Amanda of all people. That lasted not even a month. 
It killed me seeing photos of you with her. Still does. You and her, smiling and laughing at the camera. You're her 'bro'. You teaching her to longboard. You promised me you'd teach me how to. I miss your smile before your braces. I miss your forearms. Every time I saw them I wanted to run my hands along them. I miss your hands, holding mine so tight my fingers and knuckles were white and purple. Their roughness on my bare ******* and ***.
 I wish ÿöü had snuck out on that night I was home alone. I wasn't ready to give you my virginity, but I was ready to make you happy. To make myself feel wanted. 
I regret not kissing you at that camp. If I could go back in time I would kiss you every chance I got. I would kiss your lips and neck, run my hands on your neck and chest and arms. Feel your power. 
I regret our last time kissing was over a year ago. I wish I could kiss you up until the point that me and mykayla started dating. 
I wish I had been braver and bolder. I wish I took the chances, I wish I went too far. I wish I had something more to regret than all that time wasted on not touching you
Nat Lipstadt Aug 2020
(from the beautiful messages some of you send me, this my unintended answer, my thanks, my concerns, all brewed and blended, emerging in this the first second of this say, this day)

the day’s light is undecided. Alternating currents of cloudy
and peek-a-boo sunshine are reflecting outward from my insides onto the world exterior as personality is the best envisioning filter, making you and reality mirror each other, and there are no lines, no divisions.

you awake and instant watch water moving; the currency of
water are the surface wavelets, like wind blown hair.  So, what notions  I have going on is that the water wears wigs (shhhh!) just to keep its integral integrity of constant dishonesty, that being its
natural state.

and
recall nature is just your insides eking, leaking out in...wavelets
and wigs.

all this wonderful nonsense is my heart deeded  eking, leaking, in droplets, in constant motion, this water is never placid, never perfectly still, always moving, sometimes rumbling...and she and I talk about not having a child to take care of in the morning as a sad freedom to
pamper and experiment ourselves even as we co-exist in sweats and t-shirts which segues into a conversation how we moderns crave simplicity over the complexity of living in “modern” times, making us vulnerable to leaders who offer promises of draining, return to the good ole days, forgetting that in just forty years the world fought two wars that killed millions, destroyed the landscape, left billions in miserable existence, and yet shaped, still shapes, the world via today’s unraveling global structure...

so I return to the water, marveling at its life long deception...motion
constant, to the human eye, random and disorganized, yet balletically
organized with synchronicity and yet above and underneath is a whole world in random cooperation, but not necessarily peaceful coexistence...

a mobile, ever changing jigsaw puzzle where the pieces fit together
for just a second before devolving into a new puzzle and on and on...
the surface calm of our appearances, flecked with expressions, our body reshaping with every step is a testimony to the inconstancy of living and I think I could never write a good enough poem to explain how we each inside and outside coexist with engines of turmoil inside, churning, and the oceans and the rivers exist only to remind us that water comes in many colors, and when we dip even a finger in running flows, we  alter the course of history, humanity, eternity, and all words that end in Y, that are really big, the all encompassing ones;

every thought, every blink, every word, is so revealing and I rejoice, secure in that knowing, for it is the source of creating and here I am creating this one second’s summary and I must stop for here comes another second, another glance asking for love,

like a child climbing into your early morning bed, ear to ear grinning, announcing their presence as their gift to you and the world in general, and of course they are exactly right, like every fluid body of water...
poem by the the second

8:55AM Sun Aug 9 2020
Colin Carpenter May 2013
I have never walked this path alone
at this time of night.  Midnight.
Exactly how it should be.
The uneven slabs of stone catching me off guard.  
Squares of brick, red and gray and littered with autumn leaves.
Bike wheels glued to the Earth,
progressing with grace and ease
and hair flowing one strand at a time
in the breeze.
Buildings with staircases that lead
to towers of finite knowledge, but the top floor is
silent,
Save for the voices behind me, beyond
the jungle of bare trees and lawns of fallen death.
Fear death from above.

I will never understand why they talk
so loudly.  No intonation, no change in pitch.
Only a deafening roar of a hundred voices 
speaking out against the same Earth.
For they say that human nature lies outside the self.

There are columns that hold up the educated,
mad at work.  The lights are not bright,
but it’s enough yellow-orange to understand
where you are situated in this world.
“Let us both take the obscure route, for we are both obscure.
But he says we’re all nice!  All of us our nice!
He judges by the level of obscurity,
so it’s a good thing that we are both obscure.”

They wear the smallest shirts with the smallest sleeves and the smallest pants
and they witness the landscape before them.
fdg Nov 2015
sometimes i look at skinny pictures and think to myself,
i wish i starved myself or threw it up
tomorrow i'll drink more water and eat less food
because i don't want to impress anyone,
but i want to feel that small under big shirts
and i want to wrap up into a ball
and i want to look fragile but
i don't want to be fragile...
and so i remind myself
to be strong is hard when i'm making myself small
Alexandria Hope Apr 2016
Rubies are dun, or red as blood,
Opals are blue, opaque, or fire
I know they burn through me,
7 opals in my favorite necklace,
14 in my favorite bracelet,
3 in my favorite earrings,
I encase myself in the flames, like they define me,
Like my birthstone is as much me as I am the earth,
And my own tainted pyre.
And I burn, burn, through all of the old photographs,
Sending them up to the goddess as ash-
Burn, burn, through old cigar boxes, through liquor bottles
And dried flowers and my father's shirts,
And my father's old camera,
And my father's old ideals for who I was to be,
Someone I will never become,
I tore through it all, razed the past to the ground,
And I blistered my fingers, I tore the love letters,
I put the stories written for me, into the ocean,
I sent my farewell postcards for them, upon the rocky shore,
I cried as I watched them torn and taken,
But nobody loves me anymore,
And I burn, burn, like the brightest of opals,
Green with envy like the jade my father stole
Red with rage like Gerry's birth stone and I
But I've made my choices, after all,
So I burn.
I sneezed on my new laptop so it's mine now.
Sun light streams through the picturesque windows
   Cut to streaks through white cloth curtains
Birds chirp, cows graze, horses nay
   Fresh cut grass surfs the wind
Flowers bloom and fill the senses
   Breakfast feast a organised chaos
Coffee, tea and toast
   Stained jeans, warm shirts, big boots
Goodmorning
   Country kitchen.
Trying to capture a morning in my house the way I remember it when I was growing up.
When the child of morning, rosy-fingered Dawn, appeared,
Telemachus bound on his sandals and took a strong spear that suited
his hands, for he wanted to go into the city. “Old friend,” said he to
the swineherd, “I will now go to the town and show myself to my
mother, for she will never leave off grieving till she has seen me. As
for this unfortunate stranger, take him to the town and let him beg
there of any one who will give him a drink and a piece of bread. I
have trouble enough of my own, and cannot be burdened with other
people. If this makes him angry so much the worse for him, but I
like to say what I mean.”
  Then Ulysses said, “Sir, I do not want to stay here; a beggar can
always do better in town than country, for any one who likes can
give him something. I am too old to care about remaining here at the
beck and call of a master. Therefore let this man do as you have
just told him, and take me to the town as soon as I have had a warm by
the fire, and the day has got a little heat in it. My clothes are
wretchedly thin, and this frosty morning I shall be perished with
cold, for you say the city is some way off.”
  On this Telemachus strode off through the yards, brooding his
revenge upon the When he reached home he stood his spear against a
bearing-post of the cloister, crossed the stone floor of the
cloister itself, and went inside.
  Nurse Euryclea saw him long before any one else did. She was putting
the fleeces on to the seats, and she burst out crying as she ran up to
him; all the other maids came up too, and covered his head and
shoulders with their kisses. Penelope came out of her room looking
like Diana or Venus, and wept as she flung her arms about her son. She
kissed his forehead and both his beautiful eyes, “Light of my eyes,”
she cried as she spoke fondly to him, “so you are come home again; I
made sure I was never going to see you any more. To think of your
having gone off to Pylos without saying anything about it or obtaining
my consent. But come, tell me what you saw.”
  “Do not scold me, mother,’ answered Telemachus, “nor vex me,
seeing what a narrow escape I have had, but wash your face, change
your dress, go upstairs with your maids, and promise full and
sufficient hecatombs to all the gods if Jove will only grant us our
revenge upon the suitors. I must now go to the place of assembly to
invite a stranger who has come back with me from Pylos. I sent him
on with my crew, and told Piraeus to take him home and look after
him till I could come for him myself.”
  She heeded her son’s words, washed her face, changed her dress,
and vowed full and sufficient hecatombs to all the gods if they
would only vouchsafe her revenge upon the suitors.
  Telemachus went through, and out of, the cloisters spear in hand-
not alone, for his two fleet dogs went with him. Minerva endowed him
with a presence of such divine comeliness that all marvelled at him as
he went by, and the suitors gathered round him with fair words in
their mouths and malice in their hearts; but he avoided them, and went
to sit with Mentor, Antiphus, and Halitherses, old friends of his
father’s house, and they made him tell them all that had happened to
him. Then Piraeus came up with Theoclymenus, whom he had escorted
through the town to the place of assembly, whereon Telemachus at
once joined them. Piraeus was first to speak: “Telemachus,” said he,
“I wish you would send some of your women to my house to take awa
the presents Menelaus gave you.”
  “We do not know, Piraeus,” answered Telemachus, “what may happen. If
the suitors **** me in my own house and divide my property among them,
I would rather you had the presents than that any of those people
should get hold of them. If on the other hand I manage to **** them, I
shall be much obliged if you will kindly bring me my presents.”
  With these words he took Theoclymenus to his own house. When they
got there they laid their cloaks on the benches and seats, went into
the baths, and washed themselves. When the maids had washed and
anointed them, and had given them cloaks and shirts, they took their
seats at table. A maid servant then brought them water in a
beautiful golden ewer, and poured it into a silver basin for them to
wash their hands; and she drew a clean table beside them. An upper
servant brought them bread and offered them many good things of what
there was in the house. Opposite them sat Penelope, reclining on a
couch by one of the bearing-posts of the cloister, and spinning.
Then they laid their hands on the good things that were before them,
and as soon as they had had enough to eat and drink Penelope said:
  “Telemachus, I shall go upstairs and lie down on that sad couch,
which I have not ceased to water with my tears, from the day Ulysses
set out for Troy with the sons of Atreus. You failed, however, to make
it clear to me before the suitors came back to the house, whether or
no you had been able to hear anything about the return of your
father.”
  “I will tell you then truth,” replied her son. “We went to Pylos and
saw Nestor, who took me to his house and treated me as hospitably as
though I were a son of his own who had just returned after a long
absence; so also did his sons; but he said he had not heard a word
from any human being about Ulysses, whether he was alive or dead. He
sent me, therefore, with a chariot and horses to Menelaus. There I saw
Helen, for whose sake so many, both Argives and Trojans, were in
heaven’s wisdom doomed to suffer. Menelaus asked me what it was that
had brought me to Lacedaemon, and I told him the whole truth,
whereon he said, ‘So, then, these cowards would usurp a brave man’s
bed? A hind might as well lay her new-born young in the lair of a
lion, and then go off to feed in the forest or in some grassy dell.
The lion, when he comes back to his lair, will make short work with
the pair of them, and so will Ulysses with these suitors. By father
Jove, Minerva, and Apollo, if Ulysses is still the man that he was
when he wrestled with Philomeleides in ******, and threw him so
heavily that all the Greeks cheered him—if he is still such, and were
to come near these suitors, they would have a short shrift and a sorry
wedding. As regards your question, however, I will not prevaricate nor
deceive you, but what the old man of the sea told me, so much will I
tell you in full. He said he could see Ulysses on an island
sorrowing bitterly in the house of the nymph Calypso, who was
keeping him prisoner, and he could not reach his home, for he had no
ships nor sailors to take him over the sea.’ This was what Menelaus
told me, and when I had heard his story I came away; the gods then
gave me a fair wind and soon brought me safe home again.”
  With these words he moved the heart of Penelope. Then Theoclymenus
said to her:
  “Madam, wife of Ulysses, Telemachus does not understand these
things; listen therefore to me, for I can divine them surely, and will
hide nothing from you. May Jove the king of heaven be my witness,
and the rites of hospitality, with that hearth of Ulysses to which I
now come, that Ulysses himself is even now in Ithaca, and, either
going about the country or staying in one place, is enquiring into all
these evil deeds and preparing a day of reckoning for the suitors. I
saw an omen when I was on the ship which meant this, and I told
Telemachus about it.”
  “May it be even so,” answered Penelope; “if your words come true,
you shall have such gifts and such good will from me that all who
see you shall congratulate you.”
  Thus did they converse. Meanwhile the suitors were throwing discs,
or aiming with spears at a mark on the levelled ground in front of the
house, and behaving with all their old insolence. But when it was
now time for dinner, and the flock of sheep and goats had come into
the town from all the country round, with their shepherds as usual,
then Medon, who was their favourite servant, and who waited upon
them at table, said, “Now then, my young masters, you have had
enough sport, so come inside that we may get dinner ready. Dinner is
not a bad thing, at dinner time.”
  They left their sports as he told them, and when they were within
the house, they laid their cloaks on the benches and seats inside, and
then sacrificed some sheep, goats, pigs, and a heifer, all of them fat
and well grown. Thus they made ready for their meal. In the meantime
Ulysses and the swineherd were about starting for the town, and the
swineherd said, “Stranger, I suppose you still want to go to town
to-day, as my master said you were to do; for my own part I should
have liked you to stay here as a station hand, but I must do as my
master tells me, or he will scold me later on, and a scolding from
one’s master is a very serious thing. Let us then be off, for it is
now broad day; it will be night again directly and then you will
find it colder.”
  “I know, and understand you,” replied Ulysses; “you need say no
more. Let us be going, but if you have a stick ready cut, let me
have it to walk with, for you say the road is a very rough one.”
  As he spoke he threw his shabby old tattered wallet over his
shoulders, by the cord from which it hung, and Eumaeus gave him a
stick to his liking. The two then started, leaving the station in
charge of the dogs and herdsmen who remained behind; the swineherd led
the way and his master followed after, looking like some broken-down
old ***** as he leaned upon his staff, and his clothes were all in
rags. When they had got over the rough steep ground and were nearing
the city, they reached the fountain from which the citizens drew their
water. This had been made by Ithacus, Neritus, and Polyctor. There was
a grove of water-loving poplars planted in a circle all round it,
and the clear cold water came down to it from a rock high up, while
above the fountain there was an altar to the nymphs, at which all
wayfarers used to sacrifice. Here Melanthius son of Dolius overtook
them as he was driving down some goats, the best in his flock, for the
suitors’ dinner, and there were two shepherds with him. When he saw
Eumaeus and Ulysses he reviled them with outrageous and unseemly
language, which made Ulysses very angry.
  “There you go,” cried he, “and a precious pair you are. See how
heaven brings birds of the same feather to one another. Where, pray,
master swineherd, are you taking this poor miserable object? It
would make any one sick to see such a creature at table. A fellow like
this never won a prize for anything in his life, but will go about
rubbing his shoulders against every man’s door post, and begging,
not for swords and cauldrons like a man, but only for a few scraps not
worth begging for. If you would give him to me for a hand on my
station, he might do to clean out the folds, or bring a bit of sweet
feed to the kids, and he could fatten his thighs as much as he pleased
on whey; but he has taken to bad ways and will not go about any kind
of work; he will do nothing but beg victuals all the town over, to
feed his insatiable belly. I say, therefore and it shall surely be—if
he goes near Ulysses’ house he will get his head broken by the
stools they will fling at him, till they turn him out.”
  On this, as he passed, he gave Ulysses a kick on the hip out of pure
wantonness, but Ulysses stood firm, and did not budge from the path.
For a moment he doubted whether or no to fly at Melanthius and ****
him with his staff, or fling him to the ground and beat his brains
out; he resolved, however, to endure it and keep himself in check, but
the swineherd looked straight at Melanthius and rebuked him, lifting
up his hands and praying to heaven as he did so.
  “Fountain nymphs,” he cried, “children of Jove, if ever Ulysses
burned you thigh bones covered with fat whether of lambs or kids,
grant my prayer that heaven may send him home. He would soon put an
end to the swaggering threats with which such men as you go about
insulting people-gadding all over the town while your flocks are going
to ruin through bad shepherding.”
  Then Melanthius the goatherd answered, “You ill-conditioned cur,
what are you talking about? Some day or other I will put you on
board ship and take you to a foreign country, where I can sell you and
pocket the money you will fetch. I wish I were as sure that Apollo
would strike Telemachus dead this very day, or that the suitors
would **** him, as I am that Ulysses will never come home again.”
  With this he left them to come on at their leisure, while he went
quickly forward and soon reached the house of his master. When he
got there he went in and took his seat among the suitors opposite
Eurymachus, who liked him better than any of the others. The
servants brought him a portion of meat, and an upper woman servant set
bread before him that he might eat. Presently Ulysses and the
swineherd came up to the house and stood by it, amid a sound of music,
for Phemius was just beginning to sing to the suitors. Then Ulysses
took hold of the swineherd’s hand, and said:
  “Eumaeus, this house of Ulysses is a very fine place. No matter
how far you go you will find few like it. One building keeps following
on after another. The outer court has a wall with battlements all
round it; the doors are double folding, and of good workmanship; it
would be a hard matter to take it by force of arms. I perceive, too,
that there are many people banqueting within it, for there is a
smell of roast meat, and I hear a sound of music, which the gods
have made to go along with feasting.”
  Then Eumaeus said, “You have perceived aright, as indeed you
generally do; but let us think what will be our best course. Will
you go inside first and join the suitors, leaving me here behind
you, or will you wait here and let me go in first? But do not wait
long, or some one may you loitering about outside, and throw something
at you. Consider this matter I pray you.”
  And Ulysses answered, “I understand and heed. Go in first and
leave me here where I am. I am quite used to being beaten and having
things thrown at me. I have been so much buffeted about in war and
by sea that I am case-hardened, and this too may go with the rest. But
a man cannot hide away the cravings of a hungry belly; this is an
enemy which gives much trouble to all men; it is because of this
that ships are fitted out to sail the seas, and to make war upon other
people.”
  As they were thus talking, a dog that had been lying asleep raised
his head and pricked up his ears. This was Argos, whom Ulysses had
bred before setting out for Troy, but he had never had any work out of
him. In the old days he used to be taken out by the young men when
they went hunting wild goats, or deer, or hares, but now that his
master was gone he was lying neglected on the heaps of mule and cow
dung that lay in front of the stable doors till the men should come
and draw it away to manure the great close; and he was full of
fleas. As soon as he saw Ulysses standing there, he dropped his ears
and wagged his tail, but he could not get close up to his master. When
Ulysses saw the dog on the other side of the yard, dashed a tear
from his eyes without Eumaeus seeing it, and said:
  “Eumaeus, what a noble hound that is over yonder on the manure heap:
his build is splendid; is he as fine a fellow as he looks, or is he
only one of those dogs that come begging about a table, and are kept
merely for show?”
  “This hound,” answered Eumaeus, “belonged to him who has died in a
far country. If he were what he was when Ulysses left for Troy, he
would soon show you what he could do. There was not a wild beast in
the forest that could get away from him when he was once on its
tracks. But now he has fallen on evil times, for his master is dead
and gone, and the women take no care of him. Servants never do their
work when their master’s hand is no longer over them, for Jove takes
half the goodness out of a man when he makes a slave of him.”
  As he spoke he went inside the buildings to the cloister where the
suitors were, but Argos died as soon as he had recognized his master.
  Telemachus saw
A Mareship Aug 2014
A boy in jeans,
A boy in trousers,
A boy in braces,
A boy in blouses,
A girl who smells like summer sweat,
A girl whose makeup hasn’t set,
A boy who swears,
A boy who doesn’t,
A girl’s shoulder,
A second cousin,
A girl who smells of **** and beer,
A tattooed boy with a silver sneer,
A skinny girl who’s got T.B,
A boy who daintily sips his tea,
A girl’s left leg – bare or stockinged,
A boy so cold his knees are knocking,
A nasty ****,
A suede-head killer,
Kate Moss,
Sienna Miller,
Vivienne Westwood’s crazy teeth,
Bow-legged loons on Hampstead Heath,
Blue eyes, brown eyes, grey eyes, green,
Cold eyes, big eyes, sad eyes, mean,
Darling sweethearts in flirty skirts,
City-Boy ******* in well-pressed shirts,
Elbows, throat, wrists, knees,
A consumptive girl’s chainsmoking wheeze,
Blonde girls with their hair in plaits,
Skinny boys, short boys, muscular, fat –
Girls with pink lipstick like strawberry frosting,
I’m telling you man,
It’s ******* exhausting.
an oldie
Love,
Some night in the summer when it’s not too cold,
Let’s go to the park and kiss in the grass until
Someone walks by
(Even then, we’ll laugh and kiss again because they’re embarrassed –
But we aren’t)
Like we used to before we had cars and
Empty houses.

I’m going to kiss you harder than
I’ve ever kissed before;
My mind won’t wander farther than
The ends of your body, curling
Around my own.

There was a time when the world wasn’t sure if we were in love.

We walked along the railroad tracks,
And I forget what we talked about,
But we were always holding hands.

Love,
Some day in the spring let’s walk aimlessly, past the
Streets we’ve already been on,
And I won’t even make you wear a sweater,
Because secretly,
I like the way your t-shirts smell better.

Anyway, we’ll love each other until our lips turn blue.

Love,

Did you know that before you came along,
Love poems didn’t exist?
Jon Tobias Aug 2011
Gag gag and gargle
Draggin’ through the muck of
That place you said you’d never go back to
Screamin’ like a devil in the dark

The bump and grind of his *****
Bump and grind
Got you buckin’ backwards like a
Bulldog
But we both know you should’a’ never brought a dog
To a gun fight

Too late for tears darlin’
Bite lipped quivers never saved a soul
Can hear the fear in the breaks for sobs

The door to his apartment never beckoned
But you broke down the doors
Like you had something to prove
Bent you bilaterally like
The corner you backed yourself into

So perfect in your symmetry
Till you left me for him
Now you got the heart-sag
Jaw dropped
Dope fiend look

Tearing up at the sky
And the flowers
White powder pluggin up your nose holes
Can’t smell the **** on your knees now
Or the muck you got stuck in

You said I wasn’t as fun as he was
As he is
I never wanted to save you anyway
I just thought it was beautiful
The way you praised me for the things I say
And the way I say ‘em

Ya know
I got blasted backwards
By the backlash of you leaving
Kicked up so much dust in the rubble
And left me dizzy with the rumble
Of your feet fleeing the song of some ***** stomp
Headin’
Farther and farther away from safety

At least I was safe
I wasn’t bitter
Even my bite was gentle
Kind enough to remind you I still got teeth
But I won’t use ‘em

So before you leave me
Again
Take the burden
The baggage
The weight of my shoulders
The wait for the phone call sayin’ you finally
****** up and died on me
The mix tapes
The t-shirts
The memories of every moment my heart kept sayin’
“She won’t stay
But hold her for as long as she’ll let you”

Take it all
And go
The reason for the title is that I was listening to that style of music (dubstep) while writing this.  I wanted to put into words the way the music makes me feel. As a good friend of mine describes it "*****" and "gritty". I wrote this for him.
Zulu Samperfas Nov 2012
And I really do mean men.  And mostly white men.
I learned that at Columbia film school
In LA, at USC, all those male filmmakers were somewhat suspect
What they made, could not often be called "art" but even worse
they tended to extreme geekines
They wore ***** athletic shoes everywhere and spent long hours on sets
in t-shirts, wearing caps with the name of their film on them and not smelling particularly fresh
They were not particularly athletic in a city that sport "muscle beach."
But here, they were MEN.  They could hold their own in any test of masculinity
as art is a serious undertaking, and requires great powers of the intellect
And here, where most life is spent indoors, the men dressed well,
in proper leather shoes that had names, and followed the fashion of the bohemian moment
which was not considered bad, maybe because you need clothes so much there
You are always freezing or sweltering and sweating.  You freeze outside in winter
and you sweat when you come indoors.  In the summer you boil outside in hot
and air conditioned New York, like you are in purgatory, and then freeze again in the air conditioning
To have that artistic authority, no woman can come close
It isn't a woman's world, at least in the early nineties in New York, it wasn't
Such a dissapointment for me since I thought I could somehow slip through by sheer cleverness
It's like a black person hoping to be identified as white.  It can't be done.
There was a place for me, like no matter where I hid in a cinematography class
in the front, middle or back I always became the woman who is photographed
to demonstrate lighting
"You learn the most up here" said Beta Badka, in a thick Ukrainian accent as he set me on a stool
But that's not where I wanted to be
I longed to be taken seriously, telling stories about women, about girls
and having them be respected with that same cache
that came with stories of men
W Jun 2014
Along with the idea of romantic love, she was introduced to another--physical beauty. Probably the most destructive ideas in the history of human thought.

oh
to see my mirrored image rise
and fade into smoke
masking divine faces and beautiful pillows
(laced with gold so pretty)
in an ***** den

my body bursts with imperfections
and i can't bear to look
while shutters flutter over lenses
where prettiness blooms like sunflowers
yellow and bright like so many better
than me

how can i ever match
the daisies and the crisp cool shirts
that move them to tears?
what sandy shore has my shape earned?
reflecting pools sing in shrill
tongues like earbleed

eyes and heart are locked together
eyeline to lifeline
a rome-born French Connection
and i can only look
from miles away
heavy

but Lord was she ugly.
The italicized text is taken from *The Bluest Eye,* a novel by Toni Morrison.
Christine May 2010
Your puffy shirts and Jerry curls
Haunted the dreams of many girls.
All leather pants and ***** mustache
Caused their ******* to turn to trash.
But now that you have left your prime
Your daughter takes most TV time.
Now you're left with the remembrance of fame
All that's left is your last name.

One day soon the eighties will return
Then their carnal desires will burn.
For you their ******* will once again dampen
And their cooch you can put your stamp in.
nia moreno Apr 2014
types of boys:
wannabe bad boy,
born on the right side of the tracks,
but into the wrong home.
arms littered with cigarette burns,
and cuts that he claims are from ***** ***.
band t-shirts, piercings,
studded belts, ripped jeans,
and lots of hair gel.
takes the long way home from school each day
just to be alone.
Keilah Jun 2014
I fished a box from the bottom of my closet
The box I have used and reused
(For quite some time)
(For the same enough reasons)
For I have nothing more left

I placed three of your shirts
(Same scent since you last wore it)
(Same scent since I last used it)
Two of which I have altered for my figure
One which reminds me of your sweat, your body, your fervor

As much as it pains me,
I need to give up the ones that lingered the most too.
A book for every special occasion
A novel for every month, for every day
I wanted to keep the memories (but not you)

I stacked Percy Jackson, Amy and Roger.
I piled Riggs, Clare and Seth Baumgartner.
I sealed the words that once got me through
(The days without you)
I’m giving them all back, so you’d know how it feels too.

I peeled our smiles, the kisses and hugs, the happy days
(Which we used to have)
I removed our photos from my collage
I deleted you from my camera
And I’m returning (our love) the products of your films to you.

I kept one. One photograph to remind me
Of how much I have loved and lost.
I kept one. To forever have this memory
Of how much love we had.
I kept one. (To remind me never to come back)

I untangled the bracelet, the necklace and the ring.
I have spent my minutes treasuring them.
But my time spent is enough.
Now, this will be yours to have.
To remind you (too) to never come back.
Kirsten Lovely Sep 2014
She'd started watching 1950's informational videos.
You were accepted for being outside the box
And she was everything except in it.
Class president kids used to be reviled
Elections were exciting, polls came in,
And now... now what was it?
Something she should be ashamed of.
Because she cannot dance in a short skirt in front of a crowd
But instead because she plays the music
For the girls in the short skirts
Band uniforms like shells she can hide inside
Because while it's not something the other kids love,
It's what she loves.
Tennis dresses like skin without makeup
Student council shirts that finally fit,
That she feels like she can finally fill out
Unlike the jeans that she can't.
Golf jersey tossed aside, brushes and pencils picked up
Volunteer work piled in
Piling into the plays and new experiences
And acceleration, constant growing,
Growing out of shells that she used to love
And gaining skins that she loves even more
Looking back and seeing that the girls in short skirts
On the sidelines, on the gym floors,
Had not shed anything yet
Had not grown.
They were walking, she was running
Toward the end of high school, toward a goal,
To see how high in the sky they could get,
To see how high in confidence and compassion she could reach
They shed clothes, she shed skin and shells
They were permanent, fearing change
She was evolving, embracing it.
I begin my junior year of high school tomorrow. Brought on by a picture of four varsity poms girls wearing their boyfriends' varsity football jerseys.
The cycle continues.
Isaiah Herpes Aug 2013
Today i wore my fancy white shirt.
Because all my other shirts were *****.
I sat at home all day.
While wearing the fancy shirt.
I made myself a pizza.
While wearing the fancy shirt.
I didn't bite hard enough and all the cheese came off and fell on my chest.
While i was wearing my fancy shirt.
I tried to wash the shirt.
While i was wearing no shirt.
After an hour of waiting.
The shirt was still ruined.
Now i'm ******
Tessa F Jun 2014
I can hate blue eyes
That catch my green ones on the street.
I can hate love songs
That make me turn off the radio.
I can hate seeing fire fighter symbols
That remind me of you.
I can hate that I still wear the bracelet
The one that you made me.
I can hate your shirts
That fill my closet with your scent.
I can hate crying
The kind that knocks me over.
I can hate that bench
Because we used to kiss on it.
I can hate cuddling
Because no one else's arms feel right.
I can hate blankets
That give me a false sense of security.
I can hate sleeping
When it only brings more bad dreams.
(What's the point in sleeping
When my waking hours are nightmares too?)

I can hate knives
And the fact that there are so **** many in this too small house.
I can hate breathing
Because I know it's something we both do.
I can hate myself
For not being enough for you.
The only thing I can't seem to hate
Is you.
I wish I could hate you.
I feel like it would hurt so much less
Than loving someone
Who is no longer here.
Deana Luna Jul 2014
Crisp crunches of thoughts leaves inside my mouth
Gum stuck to my shoe
You stuck on my mind but
I want you there tight holding
I hiked you up to my hips buttoned you there comfortable and still
Skirts falling and shirts riding up
Underwear that I won’t call ******* because they’re not cute enough
And you
Nestled in a metal button marking patterns into the skin red red bone *****
Circa 1994 Nov 2013
I don't like people that use the word "epic".
I don't like people that are overly optimistic.
I don't like people that "read twilight before it got popular".
I don't like the cold.
I don't like insults disguised as compliments.
I don't like tardiness.
I don't like
I don't
I do
I do like
I do like people that wear ironic t-shirts.
I do like people with green eyes.
I do like people that are awkward.
I do like raw cookie dough.
I do like writing ****** stories.
I do like you.
Rant over.
Bella Dec 2013
We drink to make each other more tolerable.
Whiskey washes over the painful memories of broken trust and promises.
I don’t remember the last time we didn’t fight.
It’s like I love you too much to care anymore.

I’d give you the world if I could,
but that’s easier said than done.
You don’t want me to be so kind to you;
and that’s something I’ll never understand.

Don’t forget who I was before you tore me apart.
I was a pieced together puzzle;
until deconstruction became your hobby.
You became my demise.

Tears trickled down my wrinkled shirt the day you left.
In our life wine rhymed with love
and water tasted like sacrifice.
There are only so many wounds liquor can heal.

New stains painted my shirts,
not tears or wine.
Red cuffs covered up memories of you.
Blood washed down the drain just before you came back.

Now it’s too late to save us.
Maybe we were doomed from the start.
But I’ll refuse to believe we weren’t perfect for each other.
Not until God tells me otherwise.

I suppose I’ll see him soon and ask for His opinion.
Your embrace has never felt more soothing
as my vision blurs to black.
You whisper sweet thoughts you should’ve said before.

We drank to make each other more tolerable.
I couldn’t think of someone I’d rather tolerate.
When I embark from dark to light I’ll remember you.
I love you too much to care anymore.
Carly Salzberg Sep 2010
pile your musty ten
-drills of cloth in an anonymous  
mold rainbow
pile suited
impostures that cut out the
life of you
pile white t-shirts
stained in crimson
pile hip hugging denim
that never left ya
pile cotton
once bloated calmly against
blush tickled skin and pile nine
white ankle socks and one
wool sweater.
pile rite set hammy
downs to the ground just pile
everything and anything
that clung weathered to ya
pile your game day penny
sweat in a velvet aroma of
cheap beer and hot glue
pile up iron pressed blouses
and saggy waged sweats
pile color scented molds
dipped in tethered laced
songs of you.
Savanna Oct 2021
Covering ourselves in night cream, we fight our wrinkles, and buy anything that says anti-aging.
We want our skin to stay frozen.
Frozen in a time when we didn't even appreciate the glow of young skin.
Spent our entire youth hating what we saw in the mirror and doing everything we could to keep it covered.
Under thick masks and dark outlines we tried new products, techniques, designs,
Searching for one that made us feel pretty.
We let - no - we pay doctors to stick long needles into our soft features and change them with chemicals making us less human and more plastic
and that's just our face
our bodies? we do so much worse
Starving ourselves till our heart shrinks in the only thing running through our brains is you are fat, you are fat, you are fat, and who is to blame us when everything we see is telling us to believe that
“I run so I can eat” “I work out because I love food”
These words are printed on shirts that we wear when we should feel powerful but instead send the messages that you don't deserve to eat unless you earn it
Burning every last calorie until we are empty again
We work so ******* fixing our bodies, but maybe that's not what's broken maybe the repair work is needed in our heads and in our hearts tweaking until we can find a connection of love between our bodies and our minds.
The same genuine love you have for your mom, or your dog, or your daughter
Unconditional, Everlasting,
When will we learn to love ourselves?
Violet Winters Jul 2014
Wish you’d spank me.
Wish you’d drag me.
Wish you’d
make it
known
what you own.
Wish you weren’t
such a quiet man.
Wish you were rougher
with those strong hands.
Wish
you’d insist
That I do
your dishes.
Wish you’d make me wear skirts;
Wish you’d bend me
over, then,
before dinner’s served.
Wish you’d let me
fold your shirts.
Wish you’d f* me
til it hurts.
Wish I was
your pretty,
little, thin-waisted missy,
and you kept
your reigns tight on me.
Wish you’d
pat your leg,and
invite me into
your lap.
Wish you’d let me curl up,
beneath your muscles,
all burled up,
more often than not.
Wish I packed
your lunches,
with little surprises,
you’d be embarrassed
if other men saw.
Wish you’d oblige me
with whispers
of “ride me”
and guide me
when it’s so early,
it’s blurry,
but you’re already
stirring.
Domestic Clink,
ain’t a bad thing,
long as you got
a fella
you wanna call warden.

Long as I have
a fella
I wanna call warden,
It’s a retro kinda kink
to stand in front of
a sink.
I’ll misbehave, clearly,
But you’ll find it
endearing,
and I’ll do it
with intention,
to end up under
your hand.
A Mr. Don Draper
to put
his thumb
over me.
But I want him blue collar,
and beefy,
and solid,
I don’t want whiskey
and suits,
I want beer and
work boots,
I want that
to be you,
Because that’s
what I need;
a good man
to oversee me.
I’m just here
to please.
I should have married
in the 50s.
Equality is boredom,
I want a **** warden.
ern kingham Aug 2015
i want to kiss her. i want to kiss her so bad. i miss her. but I hurt her, and I'm an idiot.

i flashback to the movies, where we kissed for the first time. we told each other it was an experiment, to see if we liked it or not. but we both new better than that, we both knew we would love it, and we did, and a kiss became a relationship,
became feeling something new,
became wondering what feelings for another girl meant
became wanting to be with her more and more,
became using the words i love you,
became thinking of and texting her all the time,
became how am i supposed to accept myself as someone so
much more different than i’d ever thought i’d be,
became thinking how could i tell my parents,
became sneaking around in our closets refusing to come out,
became shut bedroom doors,
became laying on the floor with no shirts or bras on,
became just skin on skin, hands on chests,
became the closet I’m hiding in becoming squished full with two people,
became whispered giggles and groans between kisses,
became knowing a foreign tongue,
became my closet becoming too full
due to all the extra baggage,
became i can’t do this,
became i’m scared,
became i’m done,
became me hurting you,
became i’m sorry,
became wanting you later that night
to fill the hole in my chest that i created,
became i miss you,
became i still love you,
became you moving on to some guy,
became you not needing a closet anymore,
became just me in a closet that now feels
so much bigger than before
because now that you’re gone my closet and my heart are empty.
so uhm yah
beelzebub jones Mar 2014
waddle waddle waddle; at full throttle.
squeaking up a roar.
slamming, in a silent way
almost every open door.

dawdle dawdle dawdle; coo and coddle.
virtues of a *****.
never learning how to play
but always keeping score.

model model model; ship in bottle,
seeking out a shore.
life is only just today
not after or before.

rumble rumble rumble; belly grumble.
breaking for a fix.
deciding indecision
when it's time to call it quits.

mumble mumble mumble; feeling humble.
empty bag of tricks.
in need of some religion
and a lot of politics.

stumble stumble stumble; trip and tumble.
cross the river styx.
blinded by a vision
of the future it predicts.

gentle gentle gentle; swollen pimple.
tender and it hurts!
squeezing brings on some relief
when it pops and then it squirts.

mental mental mental; slow and simple.
cultural perverts.
with the honors of a thief,
disaster winks and flirts.

rental rental rental; gods and temple.
slogans on t-shirts.
the crux of the belief?
that everyone converts!

fiddle fiddle fiddle; dance in middle.
shoes made of cement.
following without a lead,
a purpose or intent.

brittle brittle brittle; sung through spittle.
this lyrical lament.
from the chains that all are freed
when all of life is spent.

riddle riddle riddle; with a little,
tantalizing hint.
if every want fulfilled a need.
would the sated be content?
AJ Dec 2013
she had emerald eyes and messy hair
we ran around town dishing out dares
we broke the law twice that night
as we danced in the streets looking for a fight
i had dorky glasses, and her hair matched her name
we treated our lives like one big game
we glided through the air on playground swings
for a second i believed that we both had wings
we drew funny faces on a concrete wall
and traded our shirts outside the church hall
we had a thousand adventures that started at dusk
and ended when we woke up in her room smelling like musk
being in her presence gave me an electric shock
with her there was no time, no hours on the clock
she lit up my life with on single night
and then the very next day she had to take flight
i'll always remember the weekend we shared
i just wish that my broken heart could have been spared
she gave me adventure in a town such as this
my only regret is denying her that goodbye kiss
Anne Curtin Apr 2017
Home is clean sheets on Tuesdays.
Piles of poetry defy gravity, over-sized
soft  t-shirts in the closet and always
enough Diet Coke in the fridge.

Home is the cat muttering about nothing.
Lists for Doctors, for Target, for God.
Popcorn for dinner, music instead of  news.
Windows open in January for different air.

Home is breakfast, then leaving for meetings
or other hard things, then I come back, back, back.
No matter what the day brings, this is how
I get to next Tuesday again, again, again.
From list of prompts I found when packing to move.
Rosalie Nov 2013
I wanted to hug, you wanted to hide
I wanted excitement, from that you shied

I like loud, silly, always wanting more
You like quiet, sarcasm, contemplative to the core

Most older, are bolder
But you followed the rules

I followed behind
Tried to fill some big shoes

Now you try to hug and to me its feels weird
To have love from a sister, a friend I once feared.

You are still a mystery, so many things I don't know
But I hope over time, those parts you will show

Please know you can trust me, I love you so much
The sister I longed for, who rejected my touch

Look at us now, friends at last
I'm sorry if I hurt you, I’m sorry for the past

I only want the best for you and I’m truly so proud
Of this sister of mine, whose voice has grown loud.

Whose planning is immaculate and time management too
Who is teaching me so much, whose friendship is true

Who makes me laugh with just a look
Who has become an accomplished cook

Who has taken my hand in the figurative sense
Who is honest and open and gives her two cents

Who says, "I love you" in different ways,
in manicures and t-shirts and beach days

I applaud you my sister, for you have grown tall
In so many ways and I love them all.
I love you so much Ann Marie, you make me proud everyday.

— The End —