I'm sorry if I used lots of songs
[*** *** let me listen to this]
: It's been a while
A ***** is confused,
a ***** is a maintaining sanity
at the verge of insanity
a ***** is dead,
[ I can relate to said *****😂😂😂😂😂]

Melancholia, of a French man in the surrealist era
Giving me the little and big absurdities
💀💀💀I'm trying to maintain balance in this existence,
Could it ever get worse?
💀💀
[ I have  zero access😭]
[😭😭how are you handling that]
[Could it???????????????]
[ I think I'm running mad]💀
[💀💀]
It the capitalism,
it's the boundaries,
the black tax,
the **** riders
horse **** ******,
phoney *** ******💀
Only a free man is a dead man
or a madman
It's the matrix!!
it's the annoying HR,
an overbearing parent,
, everything all over the place
It's the loneliness!! the loneliness!!
of everyone everywhere,
it’s the holding on !!! The holding on!!
💀**** let me stop
**** my bad
I hope this makes sense when I'm sober
[ The **** riders for real]
[ These would make amazing song lyrics😂😂]
[No no😂😂]
💀💀
You
💀 I've seen time crawl,
walk and run
seasons and weathers
decades in years
years in months
months in weeks
weeks in days
days in nights
nights in days
moons in nights
nights in moons
Buds in Flowers
flowers in Buds
Perks of a Wallflower
wallflowers on pecks

my *****💀
[Lyrics]
[But for some reason]
[I  Totally get you]

💀💀🔥 I have to journal this
****💀💀💀
[You must!!]
[ I am going to write this down because you😂😂]
I will post this on Hello Poetry
I will change promise you
I want to make good for the Good Girls

If I could only write a letter to God
to give us the reasons
Reasons for life, if it has to be this ugly
Reasons for the Bad choices
I saw my grandmother every time tired
wrote her letters she couldn't read
saw her again she doesn't know me
How hard she worked
How tired she is from life
she needs a break
a break from all the breakages
we need forgiveness

Crave and the cradle
that once we shall call a place home
a palace full of candles
A home to a house
A house to a home...

see, we have been so lost for long time in the world
lost in the traps of serving earth
our dreaded choices is why should be forgiven
our past ...
see,the world has denied us so much..
so in my being inept, pray for my sister and her son too, mother and father and all
the ins of being trapped in the same cycle...

i left home  it looks like yesterday
getting of age in the cycle of life must be existential
its great that we still exist in detail
i'm glad you didn't die at the brink of
the nothingness when adversity covered

what love with out forgiveness?
do realize that we are not perfect
but we're compatible
see taata we are carried from these traps
i haven't seen money so i'm holding on for dear life
taata is coming to visit

i wonder if there is a heaven where
wounded ravens are  healed
where belonging is even
i'm longing for the heaven

we don't belong here
time and tide shall tame us
its painful to be at the wrong side of time
we do not belong here