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"lotta" poems
Hip hop. Equals art stop. That crude **** stopped musical fusion Right in its tracks. When it first landed, it was still music with a lotta spittle flying. Not naming names. I listened to a lot of it. Then Gangsta rap hit. Oh **** Cant accuse me of blind judgment, I still check it out from time to time How do you say.Get diverse mud flappers. Know the history. learn to play an instrument and read it so you can write it. Then come back an see me. Who am I?. John Q public. Pavlov's dog. Tin Pan Ali. Long Tall sally. Sachmo. Scratch less. Yard-bird. Donald Bird. Stubborn **** Stuff out there is weak as thrice used tea bags. And cost more to get unless you got a peg leg and a parrot ******** on yer shoulder. Lyrically, man my six year old says more about less with **** left over. What? Flame out digitized No talent constructs that make me wanna hurl, url give a dog a bone. Tin eared, tone def hoochies and synthetic cool cats. Not to mention the rough neks. Looking like they pooped their pants six times and forgot how to belt up. There are some real deal talents out there but it is like pickin peanuts out **** After disco died. Yes I said disco. It has been a circle **** in the cemetery after dark. Naw mean. But I digress. .
0
Sep 24, 2012
Sep 24, 2012 at 4:42 AM UTC
Much Ado
dear lover, i miss you. even though i’ve never met you, i can still feel your energy from a thousand miles away. a face that can make men go to war for you. your smile makes time move slow, everything in the world makes sense. i find comfort in your love and warmth in your presence. lover. i fell in love with your words, everything you uttered was. beauty personified in words. that deep energetic vibe from your soul makes me want to dance in your. elegance. i fell in love with your mind, and i fell deep within your subconscious. a trance i was in. you’re my intellectual crush. you had me on my knees, you had me intellectually lovin’ you. i had a dream we were both dancing to Eros’ beautiful rhythm. nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart, baby don’t think im out to hurt you. not my intention. i fell in love with you and i never knew. falling in love with you was never my plan. but i guess it was God’s plan. we’ll never know. even though we’ve never met. i can still remember the sound of your heartbeat, your voice so sweet like the heavens. and your movement so graceful. graceful. you’re like a Raven – innocent, beautiful, sweet. my heart just skipped a beat. beautiful soul. speak to me. i saw the beauty of life through you, beautiful soul. and even though we’ve never met, lover. i miss you. you got a lotta soul, lady. that’s beautiful. all i wanna do is admire your beauty from a distance because im afraid if i touch you. my flesh will be tempted to do all that is regarded. earthly. i’ll prolly luh you fo’eva. let me escape through you in thought. beautiful lover. beautiful soul. “touch me with your mind. hands are overrated & ‘soul’ is overused.” the closest stranger i’ve never met. i became more with you. your lips i will kiss, your hips i will hold, and your love i will embrace. you have my heart. you have the key to my heart. and the more i think of you, i miss you. even though we’ve never met, beautiful lover. our hearts are interlocked in deep conversation. thoughts & feelings in graceful motion, love never known. i saw us dancing under the moonlight. you wore a silk white dress with Queen Elizabeth’s crown upon your head. and me, just a man wearing a white suit with a purple rose in his chest pocket. imagine. and we danced in the cosmos, the stars were watching us — the sun and the moon were playing music only heard in the heavens. dear lover. beautiful lover. beautiful soul. i love you. i miss you. even though we’ve never met.
0
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 10:25 AM UTC
Dear Lover
dear lover, i miss you. even though i’ve never met you, i can still feel your energy from a thousand miles away. a face that can make men go to war for you. your smile makes time move slow, everything in the world makes sense. i find comfort in your love and warmth in your presence. lover. i fell in love with your words, everything you uttered was. beauty personified in words. that deep energetic vibe from your soul makes me want to dance in your. elegance. i fell in love with your mind, and i fell deep within your subconscious. a trance i was in. you’re my intellectual crush. you had me on my knees, you had me intellectually lovin’ you. i had a dream we were both dancing to Eros’ beautiful rhythm. nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart, baby don’t think im out to hurt you. not my intention. i fell in love with you and i never knew. falling in love with you was never my plan. but i guess it was God’s plan. we’ll never know. even though we’ve never met. i can still remember the sound of your heartbeat, your voice so sweet like the heavens. and your movement so graceful. graceful. you’re like a Raven – innocent, beautiful, sweet. my heart just skipped a beat. beautiful soul. speak to me. i saw the beauty of life through you, beautiful soul. and even though we’ve never met, lover. i miss you. you got a lotta soul, lady. that’s beautiful. all i wanna do is admire your beauty from a distance because im afraid if i touch you. my flesh will be tempted to do all that is regarded. earthly. i’ll prolly luh you fo’eva. let me escape through you in thought. beautiful lover. beautiful soul. “touch me with your mind. hands are overrated & ‘soul’ is overused.” the closest stranger i’ve never met. i became more with you. your lips i will kiss, your hips i will hold, and your love i will embrace. you have my heart. you have the key to my heart. and the more i think of you, i miss you. even though we’ve never met, beautiful lover. our hearts are interlocked in deep conversation. thoughts & feelings in graceful motion, love never known. i saw us dancing under the moonlight. you wore a silk white dress with Queen Elizabeth’s crown upon your head. and me, just a man wearing a white suit with a purple rose in his chest pocket. imagine. and we danced in the cosmos, the stars were watching us — the sun and the moon were playing music only heard in the heavens. dear lover. beautiful lover. beautiful soul. i love you. i miss you. even though we’ve never met.
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i was born all naturally formed in a lax factory im actually a hack with ******* in my nose, practically, every day,  haphazardly stumbling home, half asleep i cant tell whats happening vision begins blackening im whack like kriss kross crack like rick ross major brown boy to houston be like, "yes, we have liftoff" dont like me when i'm ****** off cause ***** i'm bruce banner or maybe i'm bruce wayne either way, i got mad manners tearing down walls like berlin preaching like its a sermon potential begins to burgeon i'll cut you up like a surgeon killing in place of coercion so you better lower the curtain my head and my body are hurtin so tell me how quick does the world spin? i'm taddling on ya, you can call me a toddler but the snitchin n' **** is somethin im never fond of and i never grow up, cause i'm the neverland smuggler peter pan turns into one of my best customers i never grew into my head, im not cocky never had the eye of the tiger, im not rocky growing up i never got in fights or caused a lotta **** but presently im screaming **** the world", i've got a bone to pick i've gotta problem and i think its the probable cause you hold me captive, keep me trapped in your facets of laws looks of repulsion are what cause me to brandish my claws constant compulsions reminiscent of prodigal flaws i've gotta problem and i think its the probable cause see im a goblin shark i'll sink in my nautical jaws im not a joker im a jester with lesser facades wrought with insomnia cause drugs are american gods
0
Mar 10, 2017
Mar 10, 2017 at 1:39 AM UTC
american gods
i was born all naturally formed in a lax factory im actually a hack with ******* in my nose, practically, every day,  haphazardly stumbling home, half asleep i cant tell whats happening vision begins blackening im whack like kriss kross crack like rick ross major brown boy to houston be like, "yes, we have liftoff" dont like me when i'm ****** off cause ***** i'm bruce banner or maybe i'm bruce wayne either way, i got mad manners tearing down walls like berlin preaching like its a sermon potential begins to burgeon i'll cut you up like a surgeon killing in place of coercion so you better lower the curtain my head and my body are hurtin so tell me how quick does the world spin? i'm taddling on ya, you can call me a toddler but the snitchin n' **** is somethin im never fond of and i never grow up, cause i'm the neverland smuggler peter pan turns into one of my best customers i never grew into my head, im not cocky never had the eye of the tiger, im not rocky growing up i never got in fights or caused a lotta **** but presently im screaming **** the world", i've got a bone to pick i've gotta problem and i think its the probable cause you hold me captive, keep me trapped in your facets of laws looks of repulsion are what cause me to brandish my claws constant compulsions reminiscent of prodigal flaws i've gotta problem and i think its the probable cause see im a goblin shark i'll sink in my nautical jaws im not a joker im a jester with lesser facades wrought with insomnia cause drugs are american gods
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My complex brain keeps me thinking deeply For hours it keeps spitting **** perpetually. I think outside the box and write always, look at things in 3D and cross the streets sideways. This is the universe at work in another way. Maybe I'm being rewarded, if I may, For the countless hours put into thinking About a fraction of mankind's problems. And the thoughts about seeking answers to questions, That will someday bring a resolution to our problems, For the universal betterment and the good of mankind. Maybe I'm a product of some social and scientific Or intellectual experiments or the combination of all three. All that was yesterday, when I was something else If I was ever made a saint then for my past good deeds, I have no recollection of what transpired down those dark Corridors of the part of the multiverse I came from. So, if I ever did some positive things in my past life, Kudos to that mass or ball of energy I once was. Today, maybe I'm just one idiot with a laptop Who has time to write things some people may deem obnoxious, senseless and otherwise incomprehensible? Maybe I'm an outlet for deep thoughts And a vessel of wisdom for some people. Through perseverance and the little time, I have on hand, I have helped save lotta folks some precious time In coming to acknowledge the reality of our time. Thus, making it easier for them to see, That things are messed up and that despite this, hope looms!
0
Mar 10, 2018
Mar 10, 2018 at 9:31 PM UTC
The Idiot With Time And A Laptop
the day i left for good he wrapped me in an inescapable bear hug that made me feel like i was gonna stop breathing in 3 2 1... we listened to a whole lotta tom petty which is the reason why whenever i'm scanning through the radio on those drives i go on too often that lead to nowhere and i hear "refugee" or "free fallin" i skip. i read a lot to him and he always listened to everything i had to say and the 290th time of the day that i'd say **** and everytime i said something even remotely twisted a small smirk would gradually paint on his lips and then he'd laugh and say it was a good thing we loved each other otherwise he would think i was severely ****** up in the head. he loved my heart shaped sunglasses and he said i made him feel like he was living in a time warp where it was 1989 every millisecond of every waking hour of every day and i loved his eternal youthfulness that sent fireworks flying through my central nervous system. and when he released me from the wrath of his arms he promised that we were gonna sit on his back porch and crack open some brews at midnight and tell stories when i came back home. i miss him more than the sun misses the moon in the morning light my partner in crime, my adrenaline ****** my sagittarius. -z. vega
0
Jun 28, 2016
Jun 28, 2016 at 5:33 PM UTC
my sagittarius
Johnny and Mary Now Johnny knew Mary since they were little tykes, Running in the field, riding their bikes, Like other little kids, they stayed out all day, Doing their chores, later they'll play, Johnny and Mary went to school, Tried real hard, act real cool, Johnny noticed Mary started to grow real fine, Nice firm ******* big behin', Johnny thought he'd take him a chance, He asked Mary to the high shool dance, Mary said fine, pick me up at eight, Dress real sharp, now don't be late, Johnny started thinkin' this could be his night, Throw her a line, maybe she'll bite, Johnny and Mary started to dance real slow, Something in Johnny's pants, startin' to grow, Johnny asked Mary to spend some time, Back at my place, we can sit and unwind, Johnny took Mary straight back to his pad, This will be the best night, he's ever had, Poured a little wine and dimmed the light, Made sure everything, looked just right, Went over to the stereo and put on a song, Then he gave her a kiss, slow and long, Their lips met and their tongues did a dance, As Johnny reached down and undid his pants, He removed hers too and went to town, Got on his knees, he was going down, Mary started to wiggle, moan and squirm, As Johnny's tool got nice and firm, A few more licks, a feel and a pet, Mary's hole was nice and wet, Stuck in the tip, a little poke, Then all the way, he was startin' to stroke, As Johnny got busy and started to ream, All the neighbors could hear Mary scream, Johnny got tense and was about to explode, Into Mary he shot his load, A few days later Mary felt real ill, Then she remembered, she forgot her pill, Mary gave birth to a fine looking son, Mary's father started to clean his gun, Johnny married Mary at City Hall, He didn't want her dad to cut off his ***** Johnny got a job so he could provide support, He didn't want Mary draggin' him to court, A few years down the road things didn't seem right, Johnny and Mary were starting to fight, There was a whole lotta fussin' and they began to shout, Mary told Johnny she wanted him out, Mary got a lawyer, just passed the bar, Now Mary's driving Johnny's brand new car. That is the story of Johnny and Mary...Later... 07-03-09.
0
Nov 27, 2011
Nov 27, 2011 at 3:31 PM UTC
Johnny And Mary
Johnny and Mary Now Johnny knew Mary since they were little tykes, Running in the field, riding their bikes, Like other little kids, they stayed out all day, Doing their chores, later they'll play, Johnny and Mary went to school, Tried real hard, act real cool, Johnny noticed Mary started to grow real fine, Nice firm ******* big behin', Johnny thought he'd take him a chance, He asked Mary to the high shool dance, Mary said fine, pick me up at eight, Dress real sharp, now don't be late, Johnny started thinkin' this could be his night, Throw her a line, maybe she'll bite, Johnny and Mary started to dance real slow, Something in Johnny's pants, startin' to grow, Johnny asked Mary to spend some time, Back at my place, we can sit and unwind, Johnny took Mary straight back to his pad, This will be the best night, he's ever had, Poured a little wine and dimmed the light, Made sure everything, looked just right, Went over to the stereo and put on a song, Then he gave her a kiss, slow and long, Their lips met and their tongues did a dance, As Johnny reached down and undid his pants, He removed hers too and went to town, Got on his knees, he was going down, Mary started to wiggle, moan and squirm, As Johnny's tool got nice and firm, A few more licks, a feel and a pet, Mary's hole was nice and wet, Stuck in the tip, a little poke, Then all the way, he was startin' to stroke, As Johnny got busy and started to ream, All the neighbors could hear Mary scream, Johnny got tense and was about to explode, Into Mary he shot his load, A few days later Mary felt real ill, Then she remembered, she forgot her pill, Mary gave birth to a fine looking son, Mary's father started to clean his gun, Johnny married Mary at City Hall, He didn't want her dad to cut off his ***** Johnny got a job so he could provide support, He didn't want Mary draggin' him to court, A few years down the road things didn't seem right, Johnny and Mary were starting to fight, There was a whole lotta fussin' and they began to shout, Mary told Johnny she wanted him out, Mary got a lawyer, just passed the bar, Now Mary's driving Johnny's brand new car. That is the story of Johnny and Mary...Later... 07-03-09.
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55
happy happy i just want to be happy happy i am happy when i am happy so very very happy i would be very happy if i had a lotta money i have a friend who is a doctor and he tole me so
0
Jun 14, 2010
Jun 14, 2010 at 4:56 PM UTC
happy
|| || ------------------- \ GSL / ---------------- ~~~~~~~ • Get yourself a Deluxe Cabin On the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP ! • Get a seat at the Captain's Table on the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP ! • Find a girl who had Big **** ! On the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP ! • or a boy with a Lotta Money ! On the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP ! •• Won't see a Poor Man anywhere On the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP ! /// They all locked up down in Steerage On the GOOD SHIP LOLLIPOP !
0
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 3:45 PM UTC
the Good Ship Lollipop
1968  I remember 1968.. The land of milk and honey. The war was still cold but not The Tet. That ***** was hot. 1954 I made my debut. Lotta my boys did too. ** chi Minh amped up his crew. Can't. We all just get along. No way LBJ. Young guys all over town stressin the lottery. The randomness of body bag. Friday hip deep in rice paddy. Monday a letter to your moms.
0
Sep 25, 2012
Sep 25, 2012 at 2:16 PM UTC
The Nam #1
Be so fractioned my split personality be split Never know who's comin' out Kinda like the laundry mat Does mine at the Wishy Washy Funny how things get all separated Whites all in a pile over here Darks and colors over there Breaks it down even further Gotta lotta red so that gets its own pile whilst medium and light colors be divided Blacks and blues just lumped together Then it just gets all mixed up again 'Cause truth is don't gots the dough to through down that many loads This riles Señorita Clarita Thinks I'm cheap so mostly, I end up lookin' like some techno tie-dyed fruit basket in girly pants Yeah, still be wearin' my sister's hand-me-downs Be some hard times for The Poet Launderette
0
Mar 23, 2016
Mar 23, 2016 at 12:09 AM UTC
The Poet Launderette
Boostin' and we're mobile But we still don't see no bars Laugh it off in the back of the car Smoking cigars Whole lotta trouble lately that's been creepin in my mind Cash low ******* status when I get into a bind Settle balances breaking tablets in half just to unwind Knock over knock-offs inching my self from suicide I told myself that I'd do this suppose it's do or die Cause I'm cracking under pressure influenced youth who will ride Down to make this money they don't want me to make I'm prone to make mistakes taking steps that I hate Toward the door with more in store than what they see on my plate But how do they expect me to eat? No one's feeding me grapes Palm fronds fannin' my face Can't relate To the ******** they paint Fade to gray This has been a public broadcast
0
Dec 14, 2014
Dec 14, 2014 at 5:41 PM UTC
"Boostin' '14" (Art of the Steal)
The rug Lying underneath your feet; Been on the ground So long, It's stuck to the ground. The fence Standing deep, anchored in soil; **** rooting down So deep, It's part of the land. The frames are clean, The pictures seem Like history. Once upon a time, I was More than furniture to us. But now: I want you to see me, Like the door you can open; I'm more than what's inside your home. I want you to want me, Like you used to everyday; I'm that girl you wanted to make time for when you're alone. Now, are you not alone? Is that why I'm the rug, fence and your furniture? I know I work from home. I know I got a lotta things to do. I know I haven't lived up to the best of expectations. I'm still that girl you fell in love with. I dream beyond every bandwidth. I take my time to really be sure. I wanna do it without complications. But I know, I bore the hell outta you. With my Nagging that could turn ears blue. But I Promise that I love you baby, You gotta see me in the light of the truth: I want you to see me, Like the door you can open; I'm more than what's inside your home. I want you to want me, Like you used to everyday; I'm that girl you wanted to make time for when you're alone. Now, are you not alone? Is that why I'm the rug, fence and your furniture?
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Sep 15, 2018
Sep 15, 2018 at 6:25 PM UTC
Rug, Fence, Furniture
i've got me a ***** black cadillac, stretched out—front windows rolled right down—on the curb. with a French girl waiting inside, legs long as sin, sitting against the wide dark window legs extended 'cross the backseat. hiding her eyes behind big round sunglasses, smoking oily moroccan cigarettes —writing about the way i talk. there's a whole lotta crisp, cold money in the trunk, waitin' to be spent on the furs she wants; old books for me.                                                 and why not?? old books on art, and i can't even paint! just sit around not talking—read about Brughel or som'thin, wishing my over-large, complacent hands knew to render the face a fifth so well. a fifth of whisky's 's close 's i get, i get drunk and further away, out now in that devil of a car, parked presently out by the shed where i go most nights to sit in musty chairs 'n scratch ink lazily on pages nobody ever reads..             —but it feels ******                        g  o  o  d  . my frenchwoman would like to know what i think of old Proust... REPLY: he took too ****** long! // (a sigh can be a story) —one could write a novel in the time it takes to toss your load on a pair of trembling ******* held up in offering—oh i can't help but be uncouth!! —i mean just the other day fr christ's sake i moved a friend in Waterloo to her new apartment and when carrying up the stairs two bags of clothes and a toaster saw wonderful little second year heading up as well so i let her go first (at first glance you may think me chivalrous) and while climbing up behind her composed in my head the following pome, which i dashed off later on a post-it and dedicated to her exquisite *** “all legs blonde climbin' the stairs, lamp in hand, yoga pants hot & clinging like wee-ooo / hot enough in this cramped old stairwell as is, carrying all these bags & boxes & couches up for a friend. —hey when you're all moved in / you could come sit that thing on my lap. share a cigarette while i carve slices of apple & offer them to you, impaled on the end of the knife.”
0
Sep 29, 2012
Sep 29, 2012 at 6:38 PM UTC
GG/OO/NN/GG
i've got me a ***** black cadillac, stretched out—front windows rolled right down—on the curb. with a French girl waiting inside, legs long as sin, sitting against the wide dark window legs extended 'cross the backseat. hiding her eyes behind big round sunglasses, smoking oily moroccan cigarettes —writing about the way i talk. there's a whole lotta crisp, cold money in the trunk, waitin' to be spent on the furs she wants; old books for me.                                                 and why not?? old books on art, and i can't even paint! just sit around not talking—read about Brughel or som'thin, wishing my over-large, complacent hands knew to render the face a fifth so well. a fifth of whisky's 's close 's i get, i get drunk and further away, out now in that devil of a car, parked presently out by the shed where i go most nights to sit in musty chairs 'n scratch ink lazily on pages nobody ever reads..             —but it feels ******                        g  o  o  d  . my frenchwoman would like to know what i think of old Proust... REPLY: he took too ****** long! // (a sigh can be a story) —one could write a novel in the time it takes to toss your load on a pair of trembling ******* held up in offering—oh i can't help but be uncouth!! —i mean just the other day fr christ's sake i moved a friend in Waterloo to her new apartment and when carrying up the stairs two bags of clothes and a toaster saw wonderful little second year heading up as well so i let her go first (at first glance you may think me chivalrous) and while climbing up behind her composed in my head the following pome, which i dashed off later on a post-it and dedicated to her exquisite *** “all legs blonde climbin' the stairs, lamp in hand, yoga pants hot & clinging like wee-ooo / hot enough in this cramped old stairwell as is, carrying all these bags & boxes & couches up for a friend. —hey when you're all moved in / you could come sit that thing on my lap. share a cigarette while i carve slices of apple & offer them to you, impaled on the end of the knife.”
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37
. I'm so proud ! :::: Now here's how it came down // A whole lotta girls at our high school Come up with a new *** craze Literally Getting ******  up the *** by a billy goat ! In and of itself This is hardly noteworthy But (!) They took it too a new level by filming themselves Doing it While also ************ with one hand And jiggling their **** with the other And basically turning it into A sort of ***** dance competition. // Now this caught on real big And the high schools in the area each got Together competitive teams And then a city wide league Where the teams are judged on form And Creativity And synchronization of ******* And mutuality of masturbatory modalities ( like oral *** ) // It is a huge money maker for the schools // Drawing 1000 of fans Who basically **** and **** off all night In the stands ! //    At first the Christians of the town Objected But Eventually it proved to be that Not having to pay taxes is a higher CHRISTIAN precept Than ****** purity ! // Everyone here is having a good time and maybe some of your towns Might get something going // Some schools I know of Are trying to include Cutting oneself and menstrual blood Into the completion Hopefully new ideas will occur And the sport will grow .
0
Dec 9, 2015
Dec 9, 2015 at 1:56 AM UTC
our high school... !
Before I knew that I could fall in love with another boy, I had already had those feelings stolen out from underneath my feet 50 years old cold and old with a lust for blood, and innocence, At 16 years old there wasn’t even a whole lotta innocence left in him, But he worked and moved in places that felt like dark alleyways, and promises that seemed too good to be able to break, The way his tongue slithered out from underneath the church pews, looking to lap up whatever he seemed to have missed from his youth I remember the first time I went to therapy, the way that my therapist kept asking me if I was confused about my sexuality, It shouldn’t have started like that Wrinkly, angry, and full of adrenaline, young in the head and sick in his veins, He liked to touch them, He liked to hold them, His eyes always matching theirs, he made it perfectly clear that he’s not looking for a fight, he’s already fighting, and he knows he’s going to win I’m not a religious person, but I believe the devil comes to all of us in different ways, Sometimes beautiful and forgivable, Other times in a black t shirt and a pair of nikes, disgustingly promising, a place to make you feel comfortable We let so many people use our bodies to prove their points, it’s so exhausting, I can’t tell the difference anymore between wolves and sheep, But I know that he’s a wolf, And I know that no one listens to a boy who cries **** And the blood is always going to be there, The alcoholic breaths taken deep into lungs that promise to carry on, are always going to be there, The hatred and phobia of old men with mustaches and eyes that look just a little too inviting, is always going to be there Your Innocence is always going to be there, just don’t let anyone convince you that they can steal it from you We are more than their torn muscles and “really, I’m a nice guy”s, More than their “I’ve never done this before”s, More than their “You don’t have to mention this to anyone”s, More than what we think we deserve, More than what love used to mean to us We don’t have to love like that anymore, Our bodies are new, Not used anymore, but brand new, We just have to teach our bones how to use the beautiful new skin that they’ve worked hard for So to the man who taught me how to love myself, You are nothing more than a distant memory I’ll continue to pack into the bag of luggage I carry and unload when I need to remind myself that I am more than whatever you made me think I was I forgive you, but only because I forgive myself
0
May 23, 2018
May 23, 2018 at 11:13 PM UTC
To The Man Who Taught Me How To Love Myself
Before I knew that I could fall in love with another boy, I had already had those feelings stolen out from underneath my feet 50 years old cold and old with a lust for blood, and innocence, At 16 years old there wasn’t even a whole lotta innocence left in him, But he worked and moved in places that felt like dark alleyways, and promises that seemed too good to be able to break, The way his tongue slithered out from underneath the church pews, looking to lap up whatever he seemed to have missed from his youth I remember the first time I went to therapy, the way that my therapist kept asking me if I was confused about my sexuality, It shouldn’t have started like that Wrinkly, angry, and full of adrenaline, young in the head and sick in his veins, He liked to touch them, He liked to hold them, His eyes always matching theirs, he made it perfectly clear that he’s not looking for a fight, he’s already fighting, and he knows he’s going to win I’m not a religious person, but I believe the devil comes to all of us in different ways, Sometimes beautiful and forgivable, Other times in a black t shirt and a pair of nikes, disgustingly promising, a place to make you feel comfortable We let so many people use our bodies to prove their points, it’s so exhausting, I can’t tell the difference anymore between wolves and sheep, But I know that he’s a wolf, And I know that no one listens to a boy who cries **** And the blood is always going to be there, The alcoholic breaths taken deep into lungs that promise to carry on, are always going to be there, The hatred and phobia of old men with mustaches and eyes that look just a little too inviting, is always going to be there Your Innocence is always going to be there, just don’t let anyone convince you that they can steal it from you We are more than their torn muscles and “really, I’m a nice guy”s, More than their “I’ve never done this before”s, More than their “You don’t have to mention this to anyone”s, More than what we think we deserve, More than what love used to mean to us We don’t have to love like that anymore, Our bodies are new, Not used anymore, but brand new, We just have to teach our bones how to use the beautiful new skin that they’ve worked hard for So to the man who taught me how to love myself, You are nothing more than a distant memory I’ll continue to pack into the bag of luggage I carry and unload when I need to remind myself that I am more than whatever you made me think I was I forgive you, but only because I forgive myself
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44
One may be fun but several can be even better. She's got that certin something. But dam if her sister doesnt look good in that sweater. Had this problem since I was like five. Two might be tricky. But ******* off ten your lucky to be alive. Im not a man whore just gotta alot of love to share. A tiger does fear text. And Nine irons okay and left behind underwear. I think theres a problem when your black book reads longer than gone with the wind. I swear honey there's nothing going on. She's just a really hot shoulder inwhich I can depend. Saying goodbye never has been much fun. Bullet proof vest taser peper spray no it"s not a riot Just taking caution probaly be easier breaking up with only one. Hey if it works for hugh's old wrinkled *** then why not me. But at this pace I'll be lucky to make it past thirty three. I think theres a problem but that's okay. Cause if I get the boot. I got some friends with benfits house's inwhich I can stay. Im not bad just a lotta fun. Cardio is key. When she pulls out the meat clever dont play stupid just run. And if I seem terrible keep in mind it takes two to tango. For what is the banna without the mango. I think theres problem that I really dont wanna fix my dear. Im a bit of a effection ****** ***** the cold shower how bout a warm bed and a beer? Call me terrible cause hell even I know I'm not right. We should take this slow. So how bout we discuss this in a hot tub tommorow night. And if I did offend with these word I've spoken. Then please pull the twig out your backside. Grab a drink have some fun cause was only jokin.
0
Feb 8, 2010
Feb 8, 2010 at 6:22 AM UTC
I Think Theres A Problem
One may be fun but several can be even better. She's got that certin something. But dam if her sister doesnt look good in that sweater. Had this problem since I was like five. Two might be tricky. But ******* off ten your lucky to be alive. Im not a man whore just gotta alot of love to share. A tiger does fear text. And Nine irons okay and left behind underwear. I think theres a problem when your black book reads longer than gone with the wind. I swear honey there's nothing going on. She's just a really hot shoulder inwhich I can depend. Saying goodbye never has been much fun. Bullet proof vest taser peper spray no it"s not a riot Just taking caution probaly be easier breaking up with only one. Hey if it works for hugh's old wrinkled *** then why not me. But at this pace I'll be lucky to make it past thirty three. I think theres a problem but that's okay. Cause if I get the boot. I got some friends with benfits house's inwhich I can stay. Im not bad just a lotta fun. Cardio is key. When she pulls out the meat clever dont play stupid just run. And if I seem terrible keep in mind it takes two to tango. For what is the banna without the mango. I think theres problem that I really dont wanna fix my dear. Im a bit of a effection ****** ***** the cold shower how bout a warm bed and a beer? Call me terrible cause hell even I know I'm not right. We should take this slow. So how bout we discuss this in a hot tub tommorow night. And if I did offend with these word I've spoken. Then please pull the twig out your backside. Grab a drink have some fun cause was only jokin.
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46
fragile and self absorbed I've spent a lot of time kneeling but I've come to find honesty in admitting fear in the new things I'm feeling there's something about moons and stars being beautiful but out of reach that I've always found appealing and I have drown in all my futile pursuits chasing whales into the ocean but never with my written words, those pros are a dreamers innate commotion emotional,  combustible,  percussive,  explosions I've survived a lot of falls and put my heart back together with duct tape but somehow living always gives me just a little less than it takes so my words now are few and chosen carefully and my actions are my attempts at explaining those tangibly every valentine's bouquet I'm sending all the anniversary dollars I'm spending each minute a loving ear I'm lending but if two people are truly in love, there can be no happy ending Hemingway, that's from Snows of Kilimanjaro an elegant reminder that we've one less day together with every new tomorrow so I try and explain old emotions as best I know how if only I could have known in those times the truths I know now redundant, I'm a record with a deep scratch tired, I'm the head of a burnt match useless, I'm a diamond necklace with a missing clasp bitter, and perpetuating the despair, never letting go of the holes unpatched hopeful, I'm a dog kicked that keeps coming back I've survived a lot of falls and put my heart back together with duct tape but somehow living always gives back just a little less than it takes I can see that in the wrinkles carving roads in my face by the mile and I noticed that there's more lines where I scowl than where I smile duct tape and regrets I've spent a lot of time kneeling it's probably time to apolgize and stop reeling but eating my own words sounds uncomfortably filling so I guess I've said a lot of things that I'll never have the chance for repealing somehow I've always sensed it since I was very young that I would always be looking back as I rocketed forward humming the songs that were already sung reading old greeting card’s they've forgotten and feeling tortured fragile and self absorbed I've got a lotta duct tape survived a lot of falls without becoming fake but somehow living always gives me a little less than it takes
0
Sep 16, 2012
Sep 16, 2012 at 11:17 PM UTC
ENTRANCE IN BLACK
fragile and self absorbed I've spent a lot of time kneeling but I've come to find honesty in admitting fear in the new things I'm feeling there's something about moons and stars being beautiful but out of reach that I've always found appealing and I have drown in all my futile pursuits chasing whales into the ocean but never with my written words, those pros are a dreamers innate commotion emotional,  combustible,  percussive,  explosions I've survived a lot of falls and put my heart back together with duct tape but somehow living always gives me just a little less than it takes so my words now are few and chosen carefully and my actions are my attempts at explaining those tangibly every valentine's bouquet I'm sending all the anniversary dollars I'm spending each minute a loving ear I'm lending but if two people are truly in love, there can be no happy ending Hemingway, that's from Snows of Kilimanjaro an elegant reminder that we've one less day together with every new tomorrow so I try and explain old emotions as best I know how if only I could have known in those times the truths I know now redundant, I'm a record with a deep scratch tired, I'm the head of a burnt match useless, I'm a diamond necklace with a missing clasp bitter, and perpetuating the despair, never letting go of the holes unpatched hopeful, I'm a dog kicked that keeps coming back I've survived a lot of falls and put my heart back together with duct tape but somehow living always gives back just a little less than it takes I can see that in the wrinkles carving roads in my face by the mile and I noticed that there's more lines where I scowl than where I smile duct tape and regrets I've spent a lot of time kneeling it's probably time to apolgize and stop reeling but eating my own words sounds uncomfortably filling so I guess I've said a lot of things that I'll never have the chance for repealing somehow I've always sensed it since I was very young that I would always be looking back as I rocketed forward humming the songs that were already sung reading old greeting card’s they've forgotten and feeling tortured fragile and self absorbed I've got a lotta duct tape survived a lot of falls without becoming fake but somehow living always gives me a little less than it takes
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41
Srinu, you demented little kid To have you in my life i don't know what good things i did! You can really take a bad song and make it better We all know how crazy you are about Helter Skelter You'd make a better actor than the guy who played Bane I'm telling you, for the music industry, you're the next Kurt Cobain! Man I'd love to see you perform 'House of the Holy' I'm pretty sure you'll never leave the guitar, not even for the Cannoli When you get hyper you remind us all of the Incredible Hulk You're the happiest kid I've ever seen; you never sulk! Your moods are unexpected and its types are various Your crave for those "SUBSTANCES" is hilarious! I know that Nirvana has made your Chemistry easier You can now point out Lithium on the Periodic Table at your leisure That face you make when you play the guitar is that of a Negative Creep And when you blush you remind me of Meryl Streep You lucky dog, you share your birthday will George Harrison! If you were born during World War II, you'd provide awesome entertainment by playing guitar at the garrison Over the Hills and Far Away is where you'll have your tryst A Whole Lotta Love is definitely part of your Wishlist You're way more electrifying than Angus Young You set the stage on fire with your guitar skills and singing at the top of your lungs Linkin Park is your childhood and In The End, it does matter The Caste of Glass that you're building will never shatter Your love for Jimi Hendrix is stronger than a dose of Purple Haze Cuz your love for that musician is true and not just a phase Santana invented the Spiritual ****** which makes us forget all our fears Eric Clapton breaks me down into a River of Tears There's something similar between you and Red Hot Chili Peppers You're both unique - and i can't find anything else to rhyme so here's the closest - Def Leppard Continue on your musical journey and people will be dying to give you a chance One day, the music you create, will put us all in a Psychedelic Trance I know that when you go You'll either take the Stairway to Heaven or Highway to Hell I heaven, you'll be Knockin' on their Door, If Hell, you'll be ringin' Hell's Bells...
0
Mar 15, 2014
Mar 15, 2014 at 10:29 AM UTC
Happy Birthday Srinidhi
Srinu, you demented little kid To have you in my life i don't know what good things i did! You can really take a bad song and make it better We all know how crazy you are about Helter Skelter You'd make a better actor than the guy who played Bane I'm telling you, for the music industry, you're the next Kurt Cobain! Man I'd love to see you perform 'House of the Holy' I'm pretty sure you'll never leave the guitar, not even for the Cannoli When you get hyper you remind us all of the Incredible Hulk You're the happiest kid I've ever seen; you never sulk! Your moods are unexpected and its types are various Your crave for those "SUBSTANCES" is hilarious! I know that Nirvana has made your Chemistry easier You can now point out Lithium on the Periodic Table at your leisure That face you make when you play the guitar is that of a Negative Creep And when you blush you remind me of Meryl Streep You lucky dog, you share your birthday will George Harrison! If you were born during World War II, you'd provide awesome entertainment by playing guitar at the garrison Over the Hills and Far Away is where you'll have your tryst A Whole Lotta Love is definitely part of your Wishlist You're way more electrifying than Angus Young You set the stage on fire with your guitar skills and singing at the top of your lungs Linkin Park is your childhood and In The End, it does matter The Caste of Glass that you're building will never shatter Your love for Jimi Hendrix is stronger than a dose of Purple Haze Cuz your love for that musician is true and not just a phase Santana invented the Spiritual ****** which makes us forget all our fears Eric Clapton breaks me down into a River of Tears There's something similar between you and Red Hot Chili Peppers You're both unique - and i can't find anything else to rhyme so here's the closest - Def Leppard Continue on your musical journey and people will be dying to give you a chance One day, the music you create, will put us all in a Psychedelic Trance I know that when you go You'll either take the Stairway to Heaven or Highway to Hell I heaven, you'll be Knockin' on their Door, If Hell, you'll be ringin' Hell's Bells...
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36
a few weeks back i    opened my big                               fat mouth & agreed to bartend this art auction fundraiser for street children in          kenya which my parents organize          yearly to which a lotta local artists big & small all donate pieces to. anyway my pops wouldn't let me serve gin with tonic *(this being a front so i could drink it all of course, if y'know me at all..)* and bought bud light (horsepiss) and for wine used several bottles of the stuff my mother makes                           in town                           at the Penetang Wine Cellar which, though rich & darkly red is over-dry and smacks of vinegar, be assured. so despite see-sawing between indignant "No's" & commiserative "Yes'ses" (i mean who else are they gonna get??) (---and due in part to my lack of success in making other plans) i end up doing it & having an alright time in the process ... (hey i had a big sink fulla icy beers & 'probly drank more than anyone else save my father's friend Ted!!) ---i even threw down a bit o cash on a pretty neat little abstract called "view to the bay" but got outbid, ---as if i needed to drop $100 + on some painting when i should be saving ev'ry dime for old España in the new year. so i crack another beer and live vicariously thru my mother when she picks up a oil of this island with big storm & clouds comin' in ---and then outta nowhere it actually is me that closes out the show by outbidding a neighbour for a photograph of some dingy toronto night (buildings under construction) and then go back to pouring more wine & smiling & shaking (wringing) a few hands.
0
Nov 19, 2011
Nov 19, 2011 at 11:51 PM UTC
bartending a charity art auction
a few weeks back i    opened my big                               fat mouth & agreed to bartend this art auction fundraiser for street children in          kenya which my parents organize          yearly to which a lotta local artists big & small all donate pieces to. anyway my pops wouldn't let me serve gin with tonic *(this being a front so i could drink it all of course, if y'know me at all..)* and bought bud light (horsepiss) and for wine used several bottles of the stuff my mother makes                           in town                           at the Penetang Wine Cellar which, though rich & darkly red is over-dry and smacks of vinegar, be assured. so despite see-sawing between indignant "No's" & commiserative "Yes'ses" (i mean who else are they gonna get??) (---and due in part to my lack of success in making other plans) i end up doing it & having an alright time in the process ... (hey i had a big sink fulla icy beers & 'probly drank more than anyone else save my father's friend Ted!!) ---i even threw down a bit o cash on a pretty neat little abstract called "view to the bay" but got outbid, ---as if i needed to drop $100 + on some painting when i should be saving ev'ry dime for old España in the new year. so i crack another beer and live vicariously thru my mother when she picks up a oil of this island with big storm & clouds comin' in ---and then outta nowhere it actually is me that closes out the show by outbidding a neighbour for a photograph of some dingy toronto night (buildings under construction) and then go back to pouring more wine & smiling & shaking (wringing) a few hands.
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58
look ***** i aint tryna play you Just trying to mack to you Show ya real thangs Embrace the world With my **** brain Hard to maintain when weeds settles I get that ******* blowin' like a kettle Baby dont settle for less This aint no wild guess Let me mack to ya ears and grab ya breast And put yo fingers on my masculine chest Yea i know like that gangsta **** **** passion im long lastin blastin' My ***** In ya puddy cat Ya dont have to wonder where the daddy at? Im right bebe have no fear Droppin' game faster than the clouds drop a tear You cant fade me??? Now that we in this relationship I gotta lotta thangs To confess im freaky as they come Watch me roll up some sess Take a puff with me And lets do some lesbian ********* **** Promise I won't hit Unless ya let me girl i make ya forget me Like amnesia   The ***** pleaser These other nigguhs jackin' With twizzlers Im my ***** hot as a sizzler Ask ya girl i bet im dickin' her No shame in my game You know the rules Yo ***** chose me Cuz of my m a c k Still pack the AK Everyday Just incase a hater got something To say So **** peace im still in yo ear piece Now rest in peace ***** can ya fade me???
0
Aug 18, 2015
Aug 18, 2015 at 8:21 AM UTC
U Can't Fade Me
When the greatest hater ever Starts talkin about love Look out cause theres gonna be a whole lotta sarcastic cynical Hating Love In the future. :)
0
Jun 19, 2012
Jun 19, 2012 at 4:10 AM UTC
Look Out
SS SKULL AND KORAN-BLACK Belt-belt-belt-belt-belt-belt... Ohhh Gosh your Lips are So Dead Add Some of Blood nose on it I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD Do what been Done To You Do Do Do Do Do Do it Do What Been Done To Me Do Do Do Do Do Do it (Sharping Sound) You are My Sin and I'm Lover with Sword (Death,Death,Death) My Phone Screen is So Red As I'm Typing Your Death Sentence There's whole lotta of Blood on my Hands, on my hands And You're aStar that's been long Dead ☆●☆●☆ My Phone Screen is So Red As I'm Typing Your Death Sentence There's whole lotta of Blood on my Hands, on my hands And You're aStar that's been long Dead ☆●☆●☆ I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD I'm Born Again HARD Do what been Done To You Do Do Do Do Do Do it Do What Been Done To Me Do Do Do Do Do Do it
0
Jan 11, 2021
Jan 11, 2021 at 6:05 PM UTC
A Murderable Fancy
dozens of lamps on a string, flashing bass and **** yous hurling in the air "Cheese". fifty applications out, no cashing cold apartments and lots of life's not fair "Cheese". lotta pills in my veins, teeth gnashing at this point, i just don't care "Cheese". brother comes out, plates smashing parents won't share a prayer "Cheese". walked outside one night, two guys dashing bones cracking and small tears and a big tear "Cheese". eviction, no help, no compassion just another Kodak moment Say "Cheese".
0
Jun 29, 2015
Jun 29, 2015 at 2:29 PM UTC
"Cheese"
I have worn a ring Ever since I remember the first. I woke upto a lit’le golden shine On my li’lest finger. I grew into a walkable, And it got tighter. Then they removed it and gave me a diamond studded one on my 8th birthday. I wore it on my index. I grew into my teens And it got tighter. Then I got outta teens. And it got tighter all the same. Then a brown haired chap took pity on me And proposed me. With a ring. A silver one. I wore it on my ring finger. Then it saw me for a long time. And it got tighter. And I separated direction from The brown haired chap. So, I dropped the ring And whoosh it flew into the tracks with the faintest bounce. Then, I was a woman. The ringless finger ached my periphery. I thought of my diamond ring . And I sold it next morning at the Jewellers. I got a Platinum ring, after a lotta confused psychology to take the decision. I felt a pauper signboard afar. I wore it on my middle finger. And, I smoked a cigarette And I drank *** With the platinum shining on my middle finger. Then I took pity on a black eyed fellow And slept with him in a drunken state. Morning I woke up with my bright sneer dimming down. My ring was gone. The black eyed chap stole it. My platinum ring. I never wore a ring Ever again. I smoke the cigarette And I drink the *** With none a ring. I will, Will to be buried without Any of the Same.
0
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 7:54 AM UTC
I had a Ring
On the road trying to make a few bucks, it's not like the old days. A lotta' miles and not many big hits since he and Myra parted ways. He's still mean as a snake and smart as a fox. He still plays like his soul's possessed. He's asleep next door, passed out on the floor. It's time to get him sober and dressed. There'll be another show tonight, a whole lotta' shaken' and maybe a few hillbilly tunes. Whether he knocks 'em dead and leaves them yelling for more depends on pills and liquor consumed. There will be a hole in his heart and the tears will start when the lights go black. The King has gone, he's taken his songs and he's not coming back. Aw, man, we started the whole ****** thing, didn't we? We made Sun shine bright from that hole in the wall in Memphis, Tennessee. Now, stop and think and pour him a drink. Sit him up in bed. Give him the word, tell him what we just heard. Tell him Elvis Presley's dead. Somebody go wake up Jerry Lee Lewis. Get that ********* hillbilly out of the bed. Wait till he looks you straight in the eye and tell the Killer the King is dead.
0
Mar 15, 2017
Mar 15, 2017 at 2:51 PM UTC
Tell The Killer The King Is Dead