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RyanMJenkins Dec 2020
Caught between euphoria and anxiety -
With eyes to see, and dismiss as they please..

So let's release these fragmented pieces of stress and live peace
3rd eye bliss exists sitting next to the trees
Lids at rest yet breathing in the scenes
The best quest next is BEing  in your dreams
Lucidity opens the chest to address and heal what you've seen,
While presence presents blessings changing the shape of how you perceive
It all comes to fruition based on the landscape you believe in.
You dont have to take it from me,
But I'm hear and not leaving
Will still explore catacombs til that angel phone call's ringin.
RyanMJenkins Nov 2020
12
November 16 tends to be heavy for me, but I say, not this one.  I didn't really get any quality sleep but I will make the day fun.  Start a new job i was offered 2 weeks ago, after being interviewed hungover on my day of birth.  My only gift to you was consent for cremation being the sun ☀ that was born first.  The new moon last night lifted any remaining curse, and gave power to future spells.  1 2 1 2 you already know the groove being Sagittarius born on 12/12.  Twelve is also the number of years today you have been out of your shell.  Yet I know you've been there for me spiritually when I've slipped and fell. Been twelve years since you left this material plane, but I know you know, eye spoke to you the other day.

I love you.  Thank you for allowing me opportunity to live again. 💜
RyanMJenkins Jul 2020
My highs and lows are both deep expressions of soul.  
A veces luna, a veces sol.  
Mind treads the tight rope while corazon strings gold.  
Conozco a Dioses y  Diablos.
With these breaths I am blessed to even own this vessel.
Pero antes de irme, le soplaré a este mundo un beso. 💋💘
RyanMJenkins Jul 2020
Straight gigglin' over how funny life is 😄

Past life ish, that one GaGa succubus,
the world is a stage, we all write this script.
1st learn to play with the shadows of your subconscious
Lucid, I heard the shot - you missed with movement too quick👌
Still learning to astral project so I can vanish, no tricks..but I'll be back i promise, to lift others and pay proper homage to the true soul adventurers of our time - where y'all at? Never mind I see you - sublime, climbing up the 33 vertebrae of the spine, I'll meet you at the top, only one stop for the Divine 😘💓
RyanMJenkins Feb 2020
Though my dreams have been borderline terrifying, it's mixed with a magic I can't explain.  I'd often prefer to stay than to wake, and let the story play.  In my dreams I have purpose, even if it is to help save and escape when I am the aimed prey.  I have planted myself in rough terrain, and though I feel the wetness of the rain, I currently lack the passion to push past the concrete shade of gray.  While unconscious I am sometimes robbed of speech and mobility, but awake I am just a shadow's stain.  The sun's rays will hit the next day and we will both forget I am there.  I can honestly say I still prefer the dangers of the night, to the impending daymare.
Let me sleep.
RyanMJenkins May 2019
I hereby invite every oz. Of pain I've been evading for years even before the recreations, to come forth, and hit me like a truck.  I understand you may need to switch between reverse and drive a few times, but I am ready.  I need my light again, for there's darkness in every direction I've been heading.  Forever unsteady.  At this point in my life i'd be happy to spend it sitting on the dock of the bay strumming the days away with the ghost of Otis Redding.  I feel like ive been riding a bike, the chain aint on but I'm still pedaling.  Show me a mystery and you will find another kid meddling.  But I dont wanna hang around while the dust settles in.  I want to watch the sun rise and set again.  I want to float beyond the skin I've been living in.  Soul been starving to go to a place I dont know exists.  I'm grateful for my life, but it's getting harder to shake this.  Been stuck in a cocoon phase unable to complete the change because the structure's too thick.  Mind still races while keeping body tethered with bricks.  But I will embrace it with the waves of sound and silence.  There is a way to make it through, and I'm hoping I will find it.  I will slowly stand up, again after hitting the ground.  Maybe enlist the aid of Chris Jericho to help me break these walls down.  I have lost many times but have not yet been fully defeated.  I want to disappear, but a holistic retreat may be what's needed.  Exorcise the traumas we mistakenly call demons.  I'll die before I settle being a cheap cog in the machine.  I just want to wake up again to see the reality of my dreams.  Instead we're haunted by alarm clocks often robbing us of sleep, and memories of truly beautiful scenes...that just happened.  Main character forgot his purpose along with the plot of the movie..why's the audience clappin'?
Therapy
RyanMJenkins Apr 2019
I dated a ghost once, and after ghosting me for months she wound up getting really possessive.  I could see right through her and felt her intentions were oppressive.  Definitely a freak in the sheet and would promptly wake me from my sleep in the morning at three.  Sometimes raging she would throw so many things and blame it on me.  Not often responsive, she'd let me know where she was through a series of banging. Felt like I'd be talking to myself and going all types of crazy.  She once entered my dream and tried getting violent with me because I was with another lady.  That's when I knew it was time for saging.  Had to have an ancestor guide my pen In the breakup letter because my hands were shaky.   In this moment,finally, from that relationship I'm free.  Next time, maybe a dating site, and not the ******* Ouija.
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