woke today, with an ache in my head
seems to me, i’d be better off dead
it’s safe to say, the candle’s burning at both ends
ive ceased to pay, these consequential dividends
i know ive made the same mistake a million times
but if i have a hangover it’ll be all mine
cabin fevers gonna put me out my mind
every lines a border wall too ******* high to climb
every day is all the same, the same old ******* walls
“everybody feels the same”, well that’s no help at all
let me out!!! let me out!!
so bored so bored so ******* bored
i’ll never get away
wasting, wasting all my time
i’m wasted every day
runnin round in circles like a rat stuck in a cage
this ******* book is blank i wanna tear out every page
work in progress
i dont understand why i let you confess
all the things i’d inevitably contest
i cannot explain why i can feel so stressed
my emotions are so still, ungrown, repressed
you only let me hurt myself
these wounds secure your place in hell
you can only show the things you loathe, detest
shrink me down to what you understand, success
my explosive temper is a second guess
under my control, suggestion, hate, detest
Tired of my mind killin me from the inside
I don't wanna live don't wanna die so I guess I've
Gotta make a compromise to get me through
Lobotomized and sodomized, a cauterized wound
I'm infatuated with the things that ****
I just can't decide upon the red or blue pill
My afflictions give me everything I need
Deny the accusations that I'm driven by my greed
I don't wanna **** but I appreciate homicide as an art
I don't even know what I stand for
I can't even find a place to start
I don't wanna live, but I can't think of any way I'd like to die
So I guess I've gotta compromise
Create another wound to cauterize
work in progress
I am my light, I am my savior
My ego feeds on *** and drugs
Fueling my archaic fluorescence,
Ephemeral guises of love and permanence.
My aberrant, absconding soul is always hungry.
This restlessness is eating away my passion.
I am floundering out, spinning to the ground
But even at rock bottom,
I am Technicolor.
a rose by any other name would smell as sweet
i love you, destroy me.
leave me breathless, leave me light
rip the inhibition away along with my sadness,
you are a highway full of toll roads i'll never get off of
with a very clear, dark destination
(you're worth it)
someone on the internet said that love is defined by sacrifice
what wouldn't i give?
"Percocet can slow or stop your breathing. An overdose can be fatal."
1) you're going to need to know how to stop slurring and how to walk straight. be able to say the alphabet backwards when you're even close to unconsciousness, know when to stop ******* driving.
2) sleep will be either the most evasive or clinging lover. when you are awake for six days, write. when you are about to sleep for two, make sure you are on your side.
3) when the money is gone, you need to learn how to leave your body when they enter it. eventually you won't be able to feel a thing. but know that when you're sober she touches you a year later, you won't be able to feel it.
4) ******* won't be as good as getting high. don't feel like a genius when you wake up and have that idea.
5) your lovers and friends will all be addicted. drugs will become the only **** or interesting thing to you. years later, you'll still crave the taste of opiates on her tongue.
6) some of them will die. you won't be able to cry.
7) instead, you will be completely numb for weeks and you won't be able to tell the difference between the dope and the pain.
8) the dope will eventually become the pain.
9) it will never **** the pain.
10) lose all self respect now. lose all timidness.
11) don't forget you will lose all freedom in your search for it.
sorry if this *****