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"improperly" poems
The basin drains her polluted blood as wine envelopes morose Every minute is a memory, onset of her blanketed comatose Vying in a fog of icons and myths, words always fail them From every misread evil that is disposed of improperly From every neighbor or friend eternally mute again From every gilded pattern that leaves a cuff for the eyes From every fetching barroom, where all such nadir lies
0
May 14, 2017
May 14, 2017 at 10:30 AM UTC
Meraki
What is it about this chase that eludes me That runs away from me That seeks to experience and then flee me Until I get hijacked by another Consenting to my own free fall into ignorance and bliss Conditioning myself to transmit Abundance without reservation Until shot at the knee But dragged along for a while longer By the chains I so genuinely let bind me And even before the wounds have healed I don't stop running, I won't stop running Resolute in a chase that targets me I do so unconditionally But you can't hijack my senses I am not an experience or experiment worth having I am not a temporary treat to be improperly digested and defecated I am not an amber that ignites upon initial contact To then be mediated or extinguished if the temperate is not right I am not the holy water that you colonize And shower with to cleanse you To then invalidate that sanctity When it falls down the drain I am not a barometer that reliefs the labor Needed to challenge the aberrations Of your colonized and colonizing tendencies I exist Physically insignificant As the earth that birthed me and will bury me But eternal in essence I am a permanent presence I am an unforgettable imprint I am your equal, no less, no more The moment that we mutually acknowledge Each other's existence I have bound myself to you From that moment...loved you unconditionally and eternally And expect no lesser commitment From you to me, or any other person you meet And even after the wounds have healed I don't stop running, I won't stop running Resolute in a chase that targets us We must unleash our abundance unconditionally And when we leave We will have given Absolutely everything That we had to give During that time of our existence
0
Mar 6, 2015
Mar 6, 2015 at 8:07 PM UTC
Polyamority and the Practice of Abundance
What is it about this chase that eludes me That runs away from me That seeks to experience and then flee me Until I get hijacked by another Consenting to my own free fall into ignorance and bliss Conditioning myself to transmit Abundance without reservation Until shot at the knee But dragged along for a while longer By the chains I so genuinely let bind me And even before the wounds have healed I don't stop running, I won't stop running Resolute in a chase that targets me I do so unconditionally But you can't hijack my senses I am not an experience or experiment worth having I am not a temporary treat to be improperly digested and defecated I am not an amber that ignites upon initial contact To then be mediated or extinguished if the temperate is not right I am not the holy water that you colonize And shower with to cleanse you To then invalidate that sanctity When it falls down the drain I am not a barometer that reliefs the labor Needed to challenge the aberrations Of your colonized and colonizing tendencies I exist Physically insignificant As the earth that birthed me and will bury me But eternal in essence I am a permanent presence I am an unforgettable imprint I am your equal, no less, no more The moment that we mutually acknowledge Each other's existence I have bound myself to you From that moment...loved you unconditionally and eternally And expect no lesser commitment From you to me, or any other person you meet And even after the wounds have healed I don't stop running, I won't stop running Resolute in a chase that targets us We must unleash our abundance unconditionally And when we leave We will have given Absolutely everything That we had to give During that time of our existence
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48
Melting down, crossing barriers, breaking out, stepping round. Pieces fragmenting, character isolating.  Green-acid, hair follicles, white is the blank slate, painting blues with reds. Freaks from a sideshow, muscles in the sea, six-packs in a grog-shop, dancing improperly. Beguiled by your bounce, sleep-walking this town.  Fine is the white wine, poisoning the liver, spining on a sixpence, ********** follows dinner.
0
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 12:53 PM UTC
Crazy
I hear my children I listen I care Why won't you listen when I cry? Why won't you listen? Do you feel the ground moving? Can you not hear me? Can you not feel the vibrations? Where are you all going to go when winter comes and the cold harsh reality of not having a dwelling settles in? Who will you ask for help from then? Will they listen? Will they care? Will they let you close To their fire Or will you freeze? Alone, With no one No one to care about what war you fought What you have done to save them How hard you work at home How you suffer in silence Because you can't fly your flag!? If you could just be you and stand up again! Be the soldier at home To protect those you love and care about! Be color blind! Be deaf to the vile words! Watch the theft and stop it With kindness Before it escalates! Know that everyone has hard choices To make to keep their kin alive! But because you are mean With your harsh words You must be fighting somewhere...right? Are you ready to fight at home? Let me tell you BLACK and BLUE does not need to be anyones skin color of the day! Those colors do not look good on Any family membor or friend! Vile words hurt worse They cut a person down They replay in our heads Until we go crazy! At times that we need strength Those emotional scars never leave us... They take up space In our heads and Our hearts and even in our souls They turn us into mean people Who hurt others Broken people have sharp edges Handled improperly Leaves nothing but Hurt Continuing to hurt each other is not the answer anyone is looking for Maybe it used to be We can not continue Not anymore! Not in 2017 Not now in 2018 Not later No Never Ever Again! We need to STOP! Stop fighting each other Start making our world A great place to live in Again! Not just everyone out for themselves! Our Mother Earth loves us That is why we have the privilege Of being alive on THIS PLANET! Just keep that in mind next time you want to hurt someone else The pen can be mightier then the sward but it still comes at a price What are YOU willing to pay? Will it be your family Or your friends Or how about Your life? Are the prices we pay too high? Yes. So be kind! Put yourself In their shoes Even if Just For A day!
0
Jul 5, 2018
Jul 5, 2018 at 2:01 PM UTC
EARth
I hear my children I listen I care Why won't you listen when I cry? Why won't you listen? Do you feel the ground moving? Can you not hear me? Can you not feel the vibrations? Where are you all going to go when winter comes and the cold harsh reality of not having a dwelling settles in? Who will you ask for help from then? Will they listen? Will they care? Will they let you close To their fire Or will you freeze? Alone, With no one No one to care about what war you fought What you have done to save them How hard you work at home How you suffer in silence Because you can't fly your flag!? If you could just be you and stand up again! Be the soldier at home To protect those you love and care about! Be color blind! Be deaf to the vile words! Watch the theft and stop it With kindness Before it escalates! Know that everyone has hard choices To make to keep their kin alive! But because you are mean With your harsh words You must be fighting somewhere...right? Are you ready to fight at home? Let me tell you BLACK and BLUE does not need to be anyones skin color of the day! Those colors do not look good on Any family membor or friend! Vile words hurt worse They cut a person down They replay in our heads Until we go crazy! At times that we need strength Those emotional scars never leave us... They take up space In our heads and Our hearts and even in our souls They turn us into mean people Who hurt others Broken people have sharp edges Handled improperly Leaves nothing but Hurt Continuing to hurt each other is not the answer anyone is looking for Maybe it used to be We can not continue Not anymore! Not in 2017 Not now in 2018 Not later No Never Ever Again! We need to STOP! Stop fighting each other Start making our world A great place to live in Again! Not just everyone out for themselves! Our Mother Earth loves us That is why we have the privilege Of being alive on THIS PLANET! Just keep that in mind next time you want to hurt someone else The pen can be mightier then the sward but it still comes at a price What are YOU willing to pay? Will it be your family Or your friends Or how about Your life? Are the prices we pay too high? Yes. So be kind! Put yourself In their shoes Even if Just For A day!
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91
the quality of quantity is unmerciful, prodigious production of wine improperly aged, pours soiled drops spilled without craft, care or taste, poured too quick to be nothing more than less than waste born in reckless unrestrained than every thought a golden gift, bestowed upon the masses, droppeth like the harshest hurricane rains, gives no moisture sustenance to the world, only floods and lays waste in dazed hazes blesses none but the one who cannot but cant, measures his own demeanor in the mirror, unsuspecting the mirror mirrors the ides of ego, seeds of self destruction the throned monarch who giveth but does not take, thinking the king he is, his own best, even better than his creator and tho he carvo's his retno critiques upon the brows of his subjects, he cares not, for it boring brings more mastubatory page views his addition of success, his edition of self congratulatory of writs and snits, which adds up to a whole lot of **** but you may put you pen down now, for the world needs only need one poet, and it ain't me, and it certainly ain't you .
0
Aug 23, 2014
Aug 23, 2014 at 4:24 PM UTC
The Quality of Quantity is Unmerciful
Why is there such thing as pressure? Social pressure, air pressure, blood pressure, peer pressure, sinus pressure, life pressure We are pressured by every element ever created yet I am not a diamond I am not a sparkling gem I am not perfect But I am something I am a soul in a body that isn't truly mine and a pine tree in the middle of a cornfiepld and a bird who has to be fed by it's mother because it doesn't know how to live on it's own; I am the waves that crash into the shoreline and I am the duckling who is always left behind and I am the broken voice who never yelled hallelujah because I didn't believe I could; I am a guitar that is improperly tuned and a book whose spine is destroyed and I am the child who yelled for her father that never came; I am a unfinished painting and a crooked portrait and the broken record player that repeats the same groove over and over and over; Yet I am not perfect, because if I was I would be able to answer your question but I can't and if I could, I know wouldn't be able to stand here and tell you who I truly am
0
Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 11:43 PM UTC
Pressure
It no longer fits. Not because it’s wrong— because there is no longer a shape for it. It waits at the door of a structure that has sealed itself to mystery. No one silenced it. No one feared it. It was simply not needed. --- Not in fire. Not in argument. But through erosion of context. A slow recoding of all signals into currency, and then into noise. It is not buried. It is not archived. It is unrecognized. You could hold it in your palm and no one would call it a shape. They would ask what it is for. And you would have no answer they could use. --- The system is not cruel. It is indifferent, efficient, alive in a way that has moved past texture. It does not punish difference. It dissolves it. --- The ones who still carry it do so improperly. It cannot be shared without being reshaped. It cannot be translated without being lost. So they stop speaking. Not out of bitterness— out of futility. Language becomes costume. Gesture becomes content. Feeling becomes an old way of being wrong. They are not martyrs. They are not rebels. They are remainder. Background error. A trace. --- Eventually, the thought will be referenced as a footnote to dysfunction. Once, they dreamed in metaphor. Once, they misused their time to describe beauty no one asked for. The tone will be clinical. A paragraph in the training module on obsolete impulses. --- No one will recover it. Not because it was hidden, but because no one is looking in that direction. The shelf collapsed years ago. Its dust recycled into something measurable. If a trace remains, it will be decorative— a design choice in a digital museum of failed emotions. A misread glyph. A corrupted tag. An unclickable file in a format no longer supported. --- Still, somewhere in the static, a pulse misfires. Not a message. Not a warning. Just the rhythm of a shape that refused to dissolve. It says nothing. It means nothing. But it does not go away.
0
Aug 7, 2025
Aug 7, 2025 at 3:49 AM UTC
This Is How the Thought Dies
It no longer fits. Not because it’s wrong— because there is no longer a shape for it. It waits at the door of a structure that has sealed itself to mystery. No one silenced it. No one feared it. It was simply not needed. --- Not in fire. Not in argument. But through erosion of context. A slow recoding of all signals into currency, and then into noise. It is not buried. It is not archived. It is unrecognized. You could hold it in your palm and no one would call it a shape. They would ask what it is for. And you would have no answer they could use. --- The system is not cruel. It is indifferent, efficient, alive in a way that has moved past texture. It does not punish difference. It dissolves it. --- The ones who still carry it do so improperly. It cannot be shared without being reshaped. It cannot be translated without being lost. So they stop speaking. Not out of bitterness— out of futility. Language becomes costume. Gesture becomes content. Feeling becomes an old way of being wrong. They are not martyrs. They are not rebels. They are remainder. Background error. A trace. --- Eventually, the thought will be referenced as a footnote to dysfunction. Once, they dreamed in metaphor. Once, they misused their time to describe beauty no one asked for. The tone will be clinical. A paragraph in the training module on obsolete impulses. --- No one will recover it. Not because it was hidden, but because no one is looking in that direction. The shelf collapsed years ago. Its dust recycled into something measurable. If a trace remains, it will be decorative— a design choice in a digital museum of failed emotions. A misread glyph. A corrupted tag. An unclickable file in a format no longer supported. --- Still, somewhere in the static, a pulse misfires. Not a message. Not a warning. Just the rhythm of a shape that refused to dissolve. It says nothing. It means nothing. But it does not go away.
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108
Burly bleak plumes roll out aloft corn Where the dragon fell post spin and ditch A wretched hulk of ruin splintered and worn Amongst endless blanch green fields which Arc with a gust and apart where he treads, Dragging his silk cape afar from flame Clueless and concussed to a near house he heads With a tattered scarf that constricts yet ***** about his mane Black fists of cloud had boomed around him as they soared His beast spat metal fire whilst the pale sky turned dull The zipping ballet of warfare smiled throughout as motors roared Gnashing its teeth and making forgotten martyrs of them all Shuddering not from demise rather conflict as a whole He is as content with death as he is to survive Just not burn the world and condemn his soul A horror; men of rule seem keen to keep alive An agrarian self-dines rancorous and crocked Half sat, improperly perched from where he was shot Monsters had come for him once before this day They took his spouse and his daughter and then took them away He can hear but does not hark to the battle aloft It is now like the rain and the trees in a gust But to the boom and the shake he stands with a cough And as he cites the invader he sees he must do what he must The grower limps out with a Chassepot in his arms As the airman’s hands reach up and he falls to his knees With beads on his brow the man pleads with met palms The crofter sees naught but a Prussian blue monster disease The pilot knows his death, ‘Ich bin nicht sicher, wo ich will gehen?” The old Frenchman just sniggers as he thinks never again With the rifle’s slug now spent and the horror sent back to his hell The farmer mumbles to himself, ‘je dois me chercher une pelle,”
0
Sep 13, 2014
Sep 13, 2014 at 9:54 PM UTC
Seeds
Burly bleak plumes roll out aloft corn Where the dragon fell post spin and ditch A wretched hulk of ruin splintered and worn Amongst endless blanch green fields which Arc with a gust and apart where he treads, Dragging his silk cape afar from flame Clueless and concussed to a near house he heads With a tattered scarf that constricts yet ***** about his mane Black fists of cloud had boomed around him as they soared His beast spat metal fire whilst the pale sky turned dull The zipping ballet of warfare smiled throughout as motors roared Gnashing its teeth and making forgotten martyrs of them all Shuddering not from demise rather conflict as a whole He is as content with death as he is to survive Just not burn the world and condemn his soul A horror; men of rule seem keen to keep alive An agrarian self-dines rancorous and crocked Half sat, improperly perched from where he was shot Monsters had come for him once before this day They took his spouse and his daughter and then took them away He can hear but does not hark to the battle aloft It is now like the rain and the trees in a gust But to the boom and the shake he stands with a cough And as he cites the invader he sees he must do what he must The grower limps out with a Chassepot in his arms As the airman’s hands reach up and he falls to his knees With beads on his brow the man pleads with met palms The crofter sees naught but a Prussian blue monster disease The pilot knows his death, ‘Ich bin nicht sicher, wo ich will gehen?” The old Frenchman just sniggers as he thinks never again With the rifle’s slug now spent and the horror sent back to his hell The farmer mumbles to himself, ‘je dois me chercher une pelle,”
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32
This is what I want A little house with an a frame top And giant colored strands of lights in every window With a huge tree , too big most definitely for the room And a ridiculous mixture of old and new just covering the walls I want wallpaper Peeling from the walls As though it almost hurts it to remain stuck on so hard And I want it so be intricately ugly and old an’ discolored In a cozy way I want to live on a street of little houses With potluck suppers Small gardens that are improperly tended Maybe with some oregano spread throughout I want a little cozy life With a tall cozy boy We can pick our oregano and our turnips Cook us a stew Peel the onions Like the wallpaper from our little walls I want a Polaroid camera So I can take instant pictures that I cannot regret That I can keep in a tin beneath my bed Forever they will stay etched I want to ride trains everywhere Sitting in my seat Glaring out at the window at the little houses With A-frame tops Yellowing lights Covered in that glinting snow Today the snowflakes looked like real flakes Like the ones you cut out of paper And hang on the wall of your dorm To cover up the stains and cracks In the yellowing paint As is peels from the wall Like my dream wallpaper The wind in Buffalo makes me cry From my right eye My wrong one just sits and wonders “What makes the right one so weak? It is just a little storm, Why can’t the right ones just hang in there? Without drowning us in their sorrows…
0
Mar 6, 2010
Mar 6, 2010 at 7:47 AM UTC
This is What I Want
Pardon me while I wipe this ****** spit out of my mouth. Speak and write improperly Bathe in holy water to wash away the sins off my body less charming and loving then you would expect it might not had been what it was but it left a bad taste on my tongue. like taking five shots of whiskey and licking your ashtray I tried to stray far beyond your ripped and shady nylons the bloodletting on your stained sheets where I will never sleep try not to **** me on the way home I should have stayed where I belong the dark pool room the underbelly of a red light saloon I get paid again next Friday not that im going to give you any '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ruin my beautiful morning from nine till 10 am. spare yourself refusal from five till seven thick thighs emotional charged I have hard boiled eggs a dog snoring on the floor a pain in my neck and my arms and ankles, their nerves are jumping towards the door heat is up to high IM sweating like you the ***** Bukowski wrote a song it is scratching, the needle typewriter with a loud roar I cant recall the wine but the short cigarettes were brown eyes squinting I listened like a boy to him, and you you and your drunk salutes and slurs commanding a performance from my soul as if you were Sylvia such a stupendous, gracious love story IM haunted by your stare I do not even think you are here after all you are a ..... no, there is really no time for this the whiskey on my lips you adore IM sick against a wall and people are statues above spitting their teeth below statues on a wall urinating below my angst kisses you all farewell may my spirit fly today pain grows in the dark all ye gather,elephants in the room and hall i hunker down under the blue glow of the evening news hiding from both of you
0
May 9, 2014
May 9, 2014 at 8:12 PM UTC
Red Light Saloon
Pardon me while I wipe this ****** spit out of my mouth. Speak and write improperly Bathe in holy water to wash away the sins off my body less charming and loving then you would expect it might not had been what it was but it left a bad taste on my tongue. like taking five shots of whiskey and licking your ashtray I tried to stray far beyond your ripped and shady nylons the bloodletting on your stained sheets where I will never sleep try not to **** me on the way home I should have stayed where I belong the dark pool room the underbelly of a red light saloon I get paid again next Friday not that im going to give you any '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''' ruin my beautiful morning from nine till 10 am. spare yourself refusal from five till seven thick thighs emotional charged I have hard boiled eggs a dog snoring on the floor a pain in my neck and my arms and ankles, their nerves are jumping towards the door heat is up to high IM sweating like you the ***** Bukowski wrote a song it is scratching, the needle typewriter with a loud roar I cant recall the wine but the short cigarettes were brown eyes squinting I listened like a boy to him, and you you and your drunk salutes and slurs commanding a performance from my soul as if you were Sylvia such a stupendous, gracious love story IM haunted by your stare I do not even think you are here after all you are a ..... no, there is really no time for this the whiskey on my lips you adore IM sick against a wall and people are statues above spitting their teeth below statues on a wall urinating below my angst kisses you all farewell may my spirit fly today pain grows in the dark all ye gather,elephants in the room and hall i hunker down under the blue glow of the evening news hiding from both of you
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58
During work I think of you At home I think of you Maybe if I shoot my brains out I would stop wondering about you Oh yes! To be a zombie Undead walking on earth Never thinking, never minding Just walking and feeling hungry But even if my brain gets frozen It’s not the ***** that thinks improperly This tiny red muscle with intricate branches Pumps and thinks too much Just **** my heart with any weapon For if it ceases to beat then it stops To think about the brain which flashes Images of you to me
0
Nov 5, 2015
Nov 5, 2015 at 6:59 AM UTC
ZOMBIE
The Girl from Coronado Dark brown eyes the brownest hair the most captivating was the faraway look in her eyes the painter Searches for her in lost dreams she materializes on the sharp trumpet blast then she lingers as it turns Softly as the street in front of the Saint Louis cathedral in New Orleans she was as wistful she was the Bleeding torment held in battle field shadows her way had the razor sharp that cut through pretense to The real the meaningful what was that certain something that held you in awe was it the southern sea Breeze that was absorbed the enfolding touches that were exuded from her depths there are still Waters then there is Gloria is it fondly promised like flowers floating on the tide the sweet smile that Cuts and divides the waves like a surfer coming out of the Banji pipeline her brown hair blows softly it Has enlightened on the breeze as fragrance unspoiled unidentifiable it enthralls as she walks the sandy Sea swept beach in the distance she passes as a spirit cast improperly in a human role to disturbing to Fetching she makes appearances in Celtic dreams of misfortune she brings trouble as a winged wonders Those that are not for evil but hidden in them are clandestine secrets that open new corridors of Simplicity that brim with honor they are the culminations of promises long deferred now they are at The door to restore she possesses powers that are seemingly strange but they are beholding the Glimpses she allows trigger eager disruptions the common falls before her gaze you find establishments That seemed impossible could she be Isis presumably not but just bearer of her traits one who gives gifts Of the natural world to artisans from normal items joy is in them as fluid emotions they suppress but Only for the pure cause of making greater results occur the tiresome is abolished the clay is gold even Though it be hidden from many to the few it is cherished sought and redeemed by love in a sea side Town on the southern coast of California her alluring beauty you too can possess this just open yourself seek the opportunity to give to others your name will be favorably spoken like the graceful girl from Coronado
0
May 12, 2012
May 12, 2012 at 3:00 PM UTC
The Girl from Coronado
The Girl from Coronado Dark brown eyes the brownest hair the most captivating was the faraway look in her eyes the painter Searches for her in lost dreams she materializes on the sharp trumpet blast then she lingers as it turns Softly as the street in front of the Saint Louis cathedral in New Orleans she was as wistful she was the Bleeding torment held in battle field shadows her way had the razor sharp that cut through pretense to The real the meaningful what was that certain something that held you in awe was it the southern sea Breeze that was absorbed the enfolding touches that were exuded from her depths there are still Waters then there is Gloria is it fondly promised like flowers floating on the tide the sweet smile that Cuts and divides the waves like a surfer coming out of the Banji pipeline her brown hair blows softly it Has enlightened on the breeze as fragrance unspoiled unidentifiable it enthralls as she walks the sandy Sea swept beach in the distance she passes as a spirit cast improperly in a human role to disturbing to Fetching she makes appearances in Celtic dreams of misfortune she brings trouble as a winged wonders Those that are not for evil but hidden in them are clandestine secrets that open new corridors of Simplicity that brim with honor they are the culminations of promises long deferred now they are at The door to restore she possesses powers that are seemingly strange but they are beholding the Glimpses she allows trigger eager disruptions the common falls before her gaze you find establishments That seemed impossible could she be Isis presumably not but just bearer of her traits one who gives gifts Of the natural world to artisans from normal items joy is in them as fluid emotions they suppress but Only for the pure cause of making greater results occur the tiresome is abolished the clay is gold even Though it be hidden from many to the few it is cherished sought and redeemed by love in a sea side Town on the southern coast of California her alluring beauty you too can possess this just open yourself seek the opportunity to give to others your name will be favorably spoken like the graceful girl from Coronado
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23
Little Sapling sitting upright in the Big Arm Chair calm classical music muffles the sedated voices behind each door. You sit upright, improperly left alone to fill such a Large Arm Chair. You turn your young face to the side, staring with large eyes at the toys adorning The Corner Table. The toys which you once would have played with, been engrossed with, a few Long Sunny Days ago. Yet today your innocent eyes merely dabble with the sight of them; the sight of a Long Sunny Day which was once yours to behold.
0
Dec 22, 2013
Dec 22, 2013 at 1:24 PM UTC
Little Sapling
There once was a flower, Things happened too soon In less than a year, She would be moved A positive flower watered with goop roots were lifted heart regifted parents shifted a problem... The roots improperly planted They grew side ways They grew upside down They even grew in the dark They did not grow like all the others But they did grow... Confused Why do I not smile when they do? Why am drowning by the water when they grow? During growth She lost And many other things But most importantly her... Confused Did not really know what to do But grow She grew But she could not forgot her roots The ones that grew in the dark The ones that tore her apart There was no undo.
0
Nov 5, 2014
Nov 5, 2014 at 12:38 AM UTC
Roots
You know they say that you should be careful of the things that fly out of your mouth, because you never know how how it might land. Just like how airplanes try to land on gusty airports, trying to land on the tarmac. There are chances that it might just instead of landing like a kiss of a woman on the lips of a man she loves, their teeth and nose get in the way. Your words, can land improperly the airplanes that carry the best of feelings, turn into dynamites. Exploding violently. Misguided missiles that does nothing but destroy, just like how the army promised us, that this will bring us happiness and safety, but only at the cost of the nation its bombing, leaving its soil, turmoiled, disfigured, and produces nothing But radioactive plants, we have come up with a classification for it, we call it insecurities. So don't ask me if I'm ok, if you did nothing but toss explosives at my feelings cause clearly I'm destroyed. So no, I'm not ok. You cannot stitch tofu back together, after being sliced into two. That a sorry will not be a substitute for superglue, using it to stick back broken pieces of me. So remember this, that the next time you release statements words, phrases, that you have the power disintegrate the person receiving them.
0
Sep 23, 2015
Sep 23, 2015 at 11:42 PM UTC
E=mc2
if you walked a thousand miles in my shoes you still would not have any room judge me where'd that idea come from, anyway? that because you see what I see and walk where I walk you have the power and knowledge to write a book of every mistake I've ever made and set it right outside of the gates of heaven so that when my time comes I know it was your words that left me dead? people are not god's you grew up reading mythology, watching the half-human Hercules build a wall on top of his shoulders and carrying it even throughout his most human times I grew up reading poetry, memorizing the beauty of metaphors to the point where I decided that when I grew up I would become one and everything I do would be one no wonder we have such different outlooks on life. if someone put a knife through your back, you would die you are not immortal because people are not gods so why allow them to do what they do? I told myself you would never make me sick again, ever let me have a 105 degree fever and a pain in my shoulder before I ever get nauseous remembering what happened what was said or what we both did, but when I went to the doctor and begged him to cure me he just filled his syringe up with a photographic memory and inserted it directly into my veins whispering people are not god's people are not god's if you want to became the hands on a clock learn to add and subtract and memorize when the sun rises and sets if you are dead set on becoming something no one can touch without crumbling to a pile of dust breathe deep and walk tall move as if your spine is made of words that were said in such a fragile time that if you distribute your weight improperly the tightrope will break act as if it is never a fragile time even though it is 99% of the time, but say it's not say it's all just fine until your mind is snickering because it has convinced the rest of your body it's able to keep running people are not gods, people are not gods people are just people and that's all they'll ever be a mere five and a half feet, unless you allow them to put on stilts and start walking around in your head
0
Apr 22, 2014
Apr 22, 2014 at 3:11 PM UTC
a how to guide on becoming a god
if you walked a thousand miles in my shoes you still would not have any room judge me where'd that idea come from, anyway? that because you see what I see and walk where I walk you have the power and knowledge to write a book of every mistake I've ever made and set it right outside of the gates of heaven so that when my time comes I know it was your words that left me dead? people are not god's you grew up reading mythology, watching the half-human Hercules build a wall on top of his shoulders and carrying it even throughout his most human times I grew up reading poetry, memorizing the beauty of metaphors to the point where I decided that when I grew up I would become one and everything I do would be one no wonder we have such different outlooks on life. if someone put a knife through your back, you would die you are not immortal because people are not gods so why allow them to do what they do? I told myself you would never make me sick again, ever let me have a 105 degree fever and a pain in my shoulder before I ever get nauseous remembering what happened what was said or what we both did, but when I went to the doctor and begged him to cure me he just filled his syringe up with a photographic memory and inserted it directly into my veins whispering people are not god's people are not god's if you want to became the hands on a clock learn to add and subtract and memorize when the sun rises and sets if you are dead set on becoming something no one can touch without crumbling to a pile of dust breathe deep and walk tall move as if your spine is made of words that were said in such a fragile time that if you distribute your weight improperly the tightrope will break act as if it is never a fragile time even though it is 99% of the time, but say it's not say it's all just fine until your mind is snickering because it has convinced the rest of your body it's able to keep running people are not gods, people are not gods people are just people and that's all they'll ever be a mere five and a half feet, unless you allow them to put on stilts and start walking around in your head
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45
February 15th: This is to be a new chapter in my living narrative. With the advent of recent changes in this life I so improperly had been leading, I hope with the utmost sincerity they are lasting changes. It has come to a point in which I have called upon the aide of a deliberate force, a chemical force. And before I may continue, it need be known that chemicals are what brought me into my current state of lackluster. A risk? I should think so, however my will is seeking to purge my spirit of a cancer so piously imbued within my shivering soul. This is day one of the intervention plan Adderall. I know what this is today; I have had enough first times with the **** speed. No more need be said about what was felt other than this was the same happy high I remember. February 16th: Try and recall, I dare you. February 17th: Two Adderall
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Mar 12, 2013
Mar 12, 2013 at 8:17 PM UTC
The Scatter-All Diary
There is no fairytale in misery. Yet I find myself drowning in this unpolished desire to hold the hand of greed. I pulled out the knife too quickly, leaving it to heal improperly. Forever a mistake, forever a lost cause. My light seems broken. Every time I open my eyes, all I can see are shards of multi-coloured glass surrounding the happiness I cannot have. The nightmares have taken root and are a crippling comfort in which I cannot bear. I wipe away the mothering tears and hold back the putrid ***** Passion is my curse and sorrow is my blanket. I lust for the ugly and jagged pieces of hope, because it's all I have left to lean on.
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Apr 21, 2013
Apr 21, 2013 at 10:49 PM UTC
A Putrid Fairytale
someone will be tired one before the other that's just the way it is I wait for impatience in my lighthouse of uncertainty & doubt is diverted through sunlight-kissed waves nearly the precise hue of his eyes someone will be tired how could you love anyone with such a hidden temper? the kind who stalks herself through the night never fully satisfied with destination or decision she wakes, inadequate & improperly rested the day is a haze of unpaid bills empty cabinets & her rebellious toddler don't be her don't be tired don't say a word the imaginary harbor of hurt shall subside with the rush of tomorrow's tide & she'll still wonder when he'll tire
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Jan 28, 2013
Jan 28, 2013 at 6:56 PM UTC
.scrambled eggs and novocaine.
Golden apples, crisp sandwiches, and smiling milk Golden boy, growing hands, and smiling eyes Easy to learn those lessons woven by a voice of silk Easy to yearn with countless ways to fly on free skies Silver tongue to gild her hope in their enticing game Silver lost on nickel and dime since the value change Tough to beat that cowboy has wound up all the true dames Tough to see success outside that boy's jubilant range Copperhead and improperly read, now he is out on the town Copper tools to trade between fools for a means through today Hard to make it now that his future is a thought that brings him down Hard landing and hard to stand knowing soldiers get to fly away Muscle-cut, silent disciple by uniform and drill On a new path where the steps are already named Earning inertia and purpose as his hands fill By the rifle, by his life, now he can cut through the future Winning trust and won his chance at enemies to **** Now they are dead. Oh glory, oh honor, our hero returns home with tempered will The war is over, he held his weight, yet from that rigid world he must depart He cannot remember how the old rhyme went He cannot tell if his time was well spent Weary from angels shattered and morals hell bent Wary for how neighbors treat what is different Witness to blindness for what is done, and what is meant Advertised pride for racist media and murderous government Now his last hope is a child with lustrous intent To ask, "Sir, where do all the old soldiers come from, and where have they been since?"
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Feb 18, 2013
Feb 18, 2013 at 6:23 PM UTC
Old Soldiers
Golden apples, crisp sandwiches, and smiling milk Golden boy, growing hands, and smiling eyes Easy to learn those lessons woven by a voice of silk Easy to yearn with countless ways to fly on free skies Silver tongue to gild her hope in their enticing game Silver lost on nickel and dime since the value change Tough to beat that cowboy has wound up all the true dames Tough to see success outside that boy's jubilant range Copperhead and improperly read, now he is out on the town Copper tools to trade between fools for a means through today Hard to make it now that his future is a thought that brings him down Hard landing and hard to stand knowing soldiers get to fly away Muscle-cut, silent disciple by uniform and drill On a new path where the steps are already named Earning inertia and purpose as his hands fill By the rifle, by his life, now he can cut through the future Winning trust and won his chance at enemies to **** Now they are dead. Oh glory, oh honor, our hero returns home with tempered will The war is over, he held his weight, yet from that rigid world he must depart He cannot remember how the old rhyme went He cannot tell if his time was well spent Weary from angels shattered and morals hell bent Wary for how neighbors treat what is different Witness to blindness for what is done, and what is meant Advertised pride for racist media and murderous government Now his last hope is a child with lustrous intent To ask, "Sir, where do all the old soldiers come from, and where have they been since?"
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30
I remember it was the middle of winter when the family I met became my only summer. The cracks and pops of the exhaust made me so deaf to the common banter, that when I heard this group from across the dive, I knew they weren’t just another group of leather-vested dropouts. Initially it was the liquor store cologne stuck in their beards that attracted me, but I stopped and stayed when they told my back how beautiful blue eyes were. In the few minutes it took to inhale a whiskey coke, they had seen the thirst I had for freedom flowing out of my pores. They said that I reminded them of those dead flies in the corner, turned over and lifeless from the exhaustion one puts themself through when trying to live life so hard and so fast. And they were right; I had made an art out of living fast and crashing hard. When the skin on my palms tore and bled all over the pavement, it was like fine art to any peanut gallery. That was the night they taught me to ride. To unpin my curls and let them flow and crash in the wind like a desert ocean. They had found their horizon oasis in me. But Big Jimmy still hated me the most. I knew his secret and he saw that I had figured him out. He was a master at turning his cheap improperly functioning parts into his best character traits. But above everything, he let me learn that the open road will heal any scar. I’d been at war with myself. Before I knew that a desert sunrise on chrome was the best alarm clock, I only ever thought that the way I’d wake up was with rushed embarrassment to grab the ***** tip. Big Jimmy weaseled my ****** heart out of my sunken chest, and was gettin’ twitchy now that I had my hand on his. He always said at every pit stop, life was too short for traffic. And when I stepped out of the 7/11 that chilly November morning, I could hear the sounds of distant engines, howling laughter and a single tear hitting the asphalt. I was alone again. But this time, I wasn’t at war.
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Sep 5, 2013
Sep 5, 2013 at 2:38 PM UTC
Big Jimmy Taught Me to Hate Traffic
I remember it was the middle of winter when the family I met became my only summer. The cracks and pops of the exhaust made me so deaf to the common banter, that when I heard this group from across the dive, I knew they weren’t just another group of leather-vested dropouts. Initially it was the liquor store cologne stuck in their beards that attracted me, but I stopped and stayed when they told my back how beautiful blue eyes were. In the few minutes it took to inhale a whiskey coke, they had seen the thirst I had for freedom flowing out of my pores. They said that I reminded them of those dead flies in the corner, turned over and lifeless from the exhaustion one puts themself through when trying to live life so hard and so fast. And they were right; I had made an art out of living fast and crashing hard. When the skin on my palms tore and bled all over the pavement, it was like fine art to any peanut gallery. That was the night they taught me to ride. To unpin my curls and let them flow and crash in the wind like a desert ocean. They had found their horizon oasis in me. But Big Jimmy still hated me the most. I knew his secret and he saw that I had figured him out. He was a master at turning his cheap improperly functioning parts into his best character traits. But above everything, he let me learn that the open road will heal any scar. I’d been at war with myself. Before I knew that a desert sunrise on chrome was the best alarm clock, I only ever thought that the way I’d wake up was with rushed embarrassment to grab the ***** tip. Big Jimmy weaseled my ****** heart out of my sunken chest, and was gettin’ twitchy now that I had my hand on his. He always said at every pit stop, life was too short for traffic. And when I stepped out of the 7/11 that chilly November morning, I could hear the sounds of distant engines, howling laughter and a single tear hitting the asphalt. I was alone again. But this time, I wasn’t at war.
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3
The blur of the subway reflection inspired me to Inspired me to, to believe in The crimson blood that flowed within you You and your hollow valentines card veins The bite of the winter wisps of wind asked me to Asked me to, to remember if Your embrace was the dagger sugar coated blue The first icicles to fall in January’s pain The drip and dance of the winter medication forced me to Forced me to, to make love against The memories that held me close within the heart’s decadent hue I never asked for his real name The salt and citrus that embraced the tequila motivated me to Motivated me to, to waste tears upon Your deep violet royalty and my role as the ingenue I only wished to offer you a red paper crane The pallor of my skin introduced me to Introduced me to, to the truth And nothing but the truth, so help me God, I cooed Drive me somewhere beautiful, a place I cannot blame The final echo of your weary voice released me to Released me to, to an apocalyptic city The street was reduced to a cemetery so I choose the avenue The four horsemen galloped in the sanctuary of the bus lane The loneliness of restless half-hearted dreaming lead me to Lead me to, to a crystal forgotten river It stretched through the city and the city’s shoes Winding in and out like a vagrant gone insane A switching staircase indebted me to Indebted me, to the essence of humanity It explained all is made so that it can be broken through No river shall ever flow without rain The bright of the afternoon convinced me to Convinced me to, to stand before the mirror Bright eyes and shaking lips sparkled wet with diamond dew She blamed cupid’s arrow for it was surely improperly aimed A lover, half asleep and half in dreams, insisted me to Insisted me to, to scream until I collapse It was the only sound I could honestly make to begin anew He promised without shame The blare of the harsh siren in the night awoke me to Awoke me to, to a dream I once believed The vivid coloration and forms were an artistic witch’s brew I’ve been to love, so I’ve been to war and I shall never be the same
0
Jan 24, 2013
Jan 24, 2013 at 9:04 PM UTC
Tommy
The blur of the subway reflection inspired me to Inspired me to, to believe in The crimson blood that flowed within you You and your hollow valentines card veins The bite of the winter wisps of wind asked me to Asked me to, to remember if Your embrace was the dagger sugar coated blue The first icicles to fall in January’s pain The drip and dance of the winter medication forced me to Forced me to, to make love against The memories that held me close within the heart’s decadent hue I never asked for his real name The salt and citrus that embraced the tequila motivated me to Motivated me to, to waste tears upon Your deep violet royalty and my role as the ingenue I only wished to offer you a red paper crane The pallor of my skin introduced me to Introduced me to, to the truth And nothing but the truth, so help me God, I cooed Drive me somewhere beautiful, a place I cannot blame The final echo of your weary voice released me to Released me to, to an apocalyptic city The street was reduced to a cemetery so I choose the avenue The four horsemen galloped in the sanctuary of the bus lane The loneliness of restless half-hearted dreaming lead me to Lead me to, to a crystal forgotten river It stretched through the city and the city’s shoes Winding in and out like a vagrant gone insane A switching staircase indebted me to Indebted me, to the essence of humanity It explained all is made so that it can be broken through No river shall ever flow without rain The bright of the afternoon convinced me to Convinced me to, to stand before the mirror Bright eyes and shaking lips sparkled wet with diamond dew She blamed cupid’s arrow for it was surely improperly aimed A lover, half asleep and half in dreams, insisted me to Insisted me to, to scream until I collapse It was the only sound I could honestly make to begin anew He promised without shame The blare of the harsh siren in the night awoke me to Awoke me to, to a dream I once believed The vivid coloration and forms were an artistic witch’s brew I’ve been to love, so I’ve been to war and I shall never be the same
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44
Aggressive stood the silhouette Distant in the night. Sutured to her shadow A dark and haunting plight. Forgotten was the hour Desolation bereaved. Consumed by her fears A beast was conceived. What's worse then battle Is one fought alone. When the lights are all on But nobody's home. When the demon that lurks Is one that's detached. Mindful yet careless Improperly miss matched. The void spreads like cancer A concrete defeat. Becoming the snake pit By tripping over her feet. Saved by good intentions But just for a moment. See, with actions and consequences You just have to own it.
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Nov 22, 2015
Nov 22, 2015 at 5:30 PM UTC
Actions & Consequences
When the city speaks in whispers over the shouting of animals and ca-cawing of birds I trace the lines of your face against the case of my pillow wondering again why things have taken so long While life is so short one quick gulp of the fantasy now to rest in fluidity too shallow to tread So I think of you often and I forget you even more not for memory because we're timeless but for my own idea of the calendar It's based on howls and ghosts on improperly relaying messages and what I truly loved most And what kind of test this is and incorrectly translating endless lists of wistfulness What kind of test is this?
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Aug 4, 2013
Aug 4, 2013 at 8:47 PM UTC
Oakland