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NikiLee Jun 2022
trapped in my mind
stuck in my head
no where to go
so I lay in my bed

why did you leave me
why did you go
i would **** just to hear you say hello

yet, your gone
gone up in the stars
i swear for you i’d travel so far
if i could just hold you one more time in my arms

even though you aren’t here
i still dance with you my dear
there’s a ghost that haunts me
but I have no fear
cause I know it’s you, my darling
that’s crystal clear
NikiLee Jul 2018
You throw up every time you think of what you could be

Of what you once were

Always longing for distant memories

Yet I’ll tell you now dear

Do not dwell in the past

Yet focus on the future



Because sometimes friends become enemies

Boats get lost at sea

People will get put in the ground,

only now just a plain wooden cross under a tree



Cast out those demons that crawl beneath your skin

Set a spell on the evil within

For the darkness will not eat you alive

You’re not a corpse that’s dead inside

But a wandering soul looking for a peace of mind

Every second of your life is just like a hand on a clock,

Tick tock

So live in the moment because one day this house will become ashes

They will scatter as the wind blows

Along the fields and the meadows



You might just feel like you’re a dead rose



Yet your vines, they keep on climbing

Just as you keep on fighting

For the day you finally won’t feel sick

At the thoughts that make you tick

So don’t throw up every time you think of what you could be

You are not a ghost

You are not a distant memory

For you, yourself are the only one who can truly set you free



- N.N
NikiLee Dec 2014
She's like a book on a bookshelf
fragile, broken, alone
Her thoughts are fulled with words
that line the edge
of each page, yet
the shade of black ink
that drips off her tongue
stains her own bold-faced font

She's like a book on a empty bookshelf
In an empty library
In an empty city
In an empty world
Alone

She's like a secret book on a bookshelf
filled with genius passages that do not
make sense to her
for she is a silent author
that can only sit in front of a old wooden desk
and wait for ink to spew
from her fingertips
to create a masterpiece
NikiLee Dec 2014
It’s 4:07 am, all that was on my mind was the thought of your voice and then my phone lit up with your name displayed across the screen
It’s 4:31 am, the house is almost completely silent except for the rattle of the fan that probably spun as fast as my heart throbbed, drugged by the poison that oozed from your lips
It’s 4:46 am, it is dark and I am alone, yet I still feel your warm strong arms wrapped around my cold frail body, reminding me what it felt like to feel safe
It’s 4:51 am, the fan shakes, it rattles so loudly and I am so cold and your warm strong arms are not wrapped around me, your gentle voice is not whispering in my ear telling me everything is alright
It’s 4:49 am, my phone is dark and silent and my heart won’t stop throbbing I think I might puke I do not feel safe and I don’t think everything will be okay because it isn't and it won’t be and I am cold and you are not wrapped around me
NikiLee Dec 2014
It’s 4:07 am, all that was on my mind was the thought of your voice and then my phone lit up with your name displayed across the screen
It’s 4:31 am, the house is almost completely silent except for the rattle of the fan that probably spun as fast as my heart throbbed, drugged by the poison that oozed from your lips
It’s 4:46 am, it is dark and I am alone, yet I still feel your warm strong arms wrapped around my cold frail body, reminding me what it felt like to feel safe
It’s 4:51 am, the fan shakes, it rattles so loudly and I am so cold and your warm strong arms are not wrapped around me, your gentle voice is not whispering in my ear telling me everything is alright
It’s 4:49 am, my phone is dark and silent and my heart won’t stop throbbing I think I might puke I do not feel safe and I don’t think everything will be okay because it isn’t and it won’t be and I am cold and you are not wrapped around me
NikiLee Mar 2014
and yet, how many people live their lives in the full knowledge that the self - the
core of their personal identity - is an illusion?
thoughts
NikiLee Feb 2014
m
you were the hallucination of water I saw as I was roaming the desert
you were the crevice in the paper that I never could keep straight
you were my moon and I was your sun
I loved you endlessly; I loved you with a love I have never loved and will never love again
You unearthed my roots and placed me by a windowsill that never received enough sunlight
you watered me and cared for me as much as you possibly could but never could quite understand why I was dying
once I was gone you knew and you,
you took that dead flower and tossed it
because once something gets to **** difficult you always quit.
You said it yourself, so I quit too.
this is really dumb and scattered but it is my feelings
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