Nicole Eden Feb 25
"i miss those desert drives from the passenger side"
the music is a faint echo behind the voice of your laughter
yet you are always listening
you grab my hand and place it on the wheel
you tell me to steer from the passenger side
and its 1 am but it feels like infinite time
i could drive hours in the night with you and feel pure bliss
until the moment i step out of your car
i am hit with realization and unbelievable emotion
you drop me off with a hug and an i love you
but the second i walk away i have this urge to cry
because you remind me what love feels like
and yet i wonder how you would define our love
cause i know i would define it as a secret buried in the passenger side of your car
only to be discovered in a moment of pure bliss alone with you
i think i am falling in love with you
Nicole Eden Feb 6
i feel like a cheat
one of those girls i swore to never be
why do i play with the hands of innocent boys
why do i let myself be torn apart and tossed among them
i wilt at their feet and yet they do not water me
he pines for me and i pine after him
a classic broken fairy tale
what sort of fairy tale is this where i am weeping on the floor
why do i crave what i cannot have
"what is wrong with me" - echoes in my mind
every hour, every day
i weep for the pain i cause you
i weep for the pain i feel because of you
i wish to be the plant that thrives solely on your water
quench my thirst
distinguish the fire
feed my fairy tale
  Feb 6 Nicole Eden
it's a good thing i don't share my writing with you
because if i did,
you'd see that
are the boy with the ocean eyes and
am not really okay.
Nicole Eden Feb 6
words strung together like a necklace draped around my neck
"it was like you were the first person i wanted to see in the morning"
words paired together like my favorite pair of socks
you say we pair together in the same way

my brain cannot make sense of the past five days
why are my emotions on full display
i do not know how to control my behaviors
all i know is i'm in need of my savior

someone rescue me from this chaos, from this confusion
i am so torn, so stricken with distraught

your words mesmerize me like the reflecting light of your necklace
Nicole Eden Feb 3
you were the candle in the darkened room
you were the brightest star in the sky
you gave me hope and happiness
you treated me like i was the rare diamond in the sky

my answer to all my pain was you
and i guess that was my mistake
'cause now i'm lost in the sky searching for any star
the night sky is a prison to me now - stuck
the air lingering in my bedroom is becoming a poison - fuck

i am a ghost in the presence of you - unseen, forgotten, the past
you used to see me, now you see through me
why does life play with our souls
you were the only flicker i had left
but the ghost of our future let the wind knock you out
and now i continue to sit in my darkened room, staring out the window trying to find another diamond in the sky
Nicole Eden Feb 1
my heart races when i see you
my thoughts become a tornado
destroying any good that stands in its way
my body trembles and my hands shake
i lose all control at the idea that i might look into your eyes again
my stomach panics and turns itself into a knot
a knot that you created when you tried to turn my world upside down
why does my body get weak in your presence
why do you have this hold on my soul
i make all efforts to pry your hands off and away yet
they always find a way back to my insides
i am a spare tire, used once and left on the track
no longer a part of that bigger picture
you left me useless now
standing in the middle of your racetrack
Nicole Eden Jan 20
i want him and i want you
you miss me and you miss her
you like me and you like her
you care for me and you care for her
you love her and you want her
you see me and you understand me
you know me and you choose her
this hurt to write - i like him so much - i wish he knew
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