"immobilizing" poems
Thank you, tourists
For pausing.
For capturing
Every moment.
Your cameras draped,
Quivering below your necks
Your necks rosy
with sun.
Sunscreen scents
Swarm the air
But the air bursts
Diverse Dialects,
Dogmas,
and Dreams.
Thank you
From a resident,
A student,
A visitor,
A wanderer.
Thank you
For immobilizing
Glorious minutes
For impeding time
Just for a moment.
For acknowledging-
So that those who neglect to notice,
Once again realize their riches.
Thank you
For your quiet grins
As you regard
The world.
Thank you, travelers.
Apr 16, 2015
Apr 16, 2015 at 6:08 AM UTC
Avenging activity among our society
Based behind our bravery,
Centered in our controlled community
Dances our dimes distantly,
Eating the Economy entirely,
Freeing some family’s from financial stability
Giving the Government full guidance to “Give willingly”
Help save history and fix the hired hereby diligently
Isolating the problem Indefinitely before another civil war breaks out immobilizing us internally,
Jacking up jumping prices to live within our jungle of commonality
Killing Kids futures by leaving them in debt for keeps of knowledge to secure their vivacity
Living our Lives in stress leniently because we are your servants dwelling down here in the low depths of poverty.
Massing out our Money on your table tops feasting morbidly on fattening foods while millions suffer from malnutrion
Nobody speaking nervously now
On the open opinion’s on our governments greed
People pacing the streets for a piece to eat
Quiet our questions or riots will quake the streets
Rage ripping through our roads radiantly
So sustain us all seriously separating the needy from situations of squandering
Take hold of our Tantrums and turn them on the ones demanding this tangibility
You’re yearning for yesterday’s better life
Venom of today’s values vast out over our minds
When will they welcome the revolution?
Xenophobia exerts exteremremitys on our souls
Zero Tolerance for Zaberism and Zolism is the way we go.
May 18, 2015
May 18, 2015 at 12:23 PM UTC
stepped on a sidewalk crack
seven year's bad luck
If it is chasms
Y'all desire...
sidewalk cracks freeze me
in bad luck repose,
firefly-in-a-jar trapped,
hole'd enough to breathe,
but no prison break escape
come to live
in my little space
these chasmic concrete cracks
my enclosure, my true cell immobile,
it is what they mean when they say,
"have you see his pen?"
boundaries man-built
serving a seven year sentence,
bad luck my only laughing friend,
my midnight to moon
fiend~companion boon
washer dryer closet n' bed
all in a three by three metered space,
my sidewalk castle
now a nyc tourist attraction
rain and shiner, the sidewalk cross
mine alone, even the pigeons
stay away, not so stupid as they look,
fair game for dietary consumption
technical setting details of no matter,
but they come by the thousands
not to see, just
snapping tapping taunting the
immobilizing invisible chasm crackled
sidewalk poet,
writing poems by governmental command,
literarily and literally,
for all to see
seven is not eleven and someday
only time will know, and advise
when cursed lifted, then,
he will never have to
write poems for the public's
insatiable need to
mock and ridicule
ever again
Apr 19, 2014
Apr 19, 2014 at 8:39 AM UTC
My voice of desperation, sweet and disguised
This culture or lack of, Therefore
Strains at every vein, immobilizing
An obscured feature, hidden away
My once beating heart bound by your forceful grasp
Beneath layers of damaged tissue
A sealed temperament begging to be uncovered
So there; discover
And I have learned to face myself, through retaliation
I bleed red but underneath my blood is blue
Like a twilight haze
Foggy and distant, departed from my soul
And only love
Tear ducts claiming me, my voice
Lost in a sea of others, it's no miracle
Waves overlapping, I surrender
Defeated and overcome by the chill of the sound
Of my own voice
This misery restrains me
The thought hadn't crossed my mind
Perhaps the choice was never truly mine
Sep 30, 2013
Sep 30, 2013 at 9:18 PM UTC
Postmortem, precoitus
Precarious promiscuity
Pantomiming presumptions
Enriched Enouement
Envying earthquakes
Empathetically evolving
Natural naivety
Needing negligence
Nymphomanic nodding
Instrumentally insane
Insinuating innocence
Immobilizing imagery
Sarcastically singular
Sacred succulent
Swallowing Satan
Apr 13, 2017
Apr 13, 2017 at 9:41 PM UTC
What I need you to understand is that my depression is not just a blanket of sadness laid on top of me.
It is a snowball effect of years worth of disappointments and self judgment .
Piling one traumatic event upon another.
Slowly immobilizing me and holding me captive inside my own mind.
Finding no light underneath the avalanche.
Understand that simple exercise and sun cannot fix this.
This is forever imprinted onto my mind.
Understand… please
for me…
Nov 7, 2021
Nov 7, 2021 at 7:48 AM UTC
Numbness eats through my soul
I feel her toxins in my veins
solidifying and immobilizing me
In deep sleep I'm falling through
Apathy is oh so popular
Wishing never accomplishes
Neat death is slowly slipping
I see her countenance once again
This is it, I am dead
Wait
A slight brush on my cheek
Your sweet touch wakes me
Aug 21, 2012
Aug 21, 2012 at 4:11 AM UTC
DEPRESSION!
Depression is an illness brought on by a shattered past,
Basic skills, needs, & dreams fade away fast,
Immobilizing your will, confidence, thoughts & goals,
Slowly amercing you into deep holes,
Along come alcohol, poor communication & rage,
Both you & your family wishing they could turn to a new page,
Children caught up in the fight,
All needing to make things right,
Hope & tears burning dry,
And we all SCREAM why!
Life seems to fall apart,
Deep within everyone’s heart,
When & how will it end?
Can this ever mend?
Written by Jaki Burman 23/11/09
Nov 22, 2009
Nov 22, 2009 at 10:40 PM UTC
Crippling self doubt
plagues my existence.
Injecting itself into my blood stream;
immobilizing my muscles
numbing my tongue
and muting my voice box.
It quenches its thirst
by tearing my self image
limb from limb and
ploughing my insides
till there is nothing left.
It either bombards like
gunfire inside my head
firing flaws into questions
or drain each cell's confidence
leaving the muscles to shiver and shudder
and words hesitant to leave my tongue.
My flesh that houses doubt
is familiar with every capillary of my insecurity;
Whispering my shortcomings
and scrutinizing the details that make me, me.
It is a constant fight, invisible to the eyes.
Internal;
it's all in my head.
Sep 26, 2018
Sep 26, 2018 at 9:31 AM UTC
Uncertainty is terrifying
Indefinite is paralyzing
Isolation is immobilizing
We take these terms in stride
as we know of the greater struggle
yet the fear of fear itself is not a source of pride
Feel the stress, endure the hardship
and remember there is a family here
that will be there for kinship
What is coming is unknown
what has happened is not overblown
How we move forward will make a noise that resounds
Lets band together and rise
Ensure we mitigate a demise
Keep away and safe
but not alone
not
without good faith
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 1:43 PM UTC
Last night I dreamed of you.
I dreamed you came to me,
Slid your arms around me,
And whispered your apoligies.
"So sorry I'm late. Don't know what
I was thinking."
I used to remember dreams.
Fantastical images in vibrant colors,
Crazy plots that could
Frighten or entertain.
I haven't dreamed in
Three weeks.
"She wants him.
He wants to die"
Is enough to push her to
Never dream again.
She does not want to see
What she saw last night.
Is she not drowning enough?
He makes uninvited cameo appearances
In her head, and she,
Only she,
Is full of cold, choking anguish.
Grieving, they all say.
Grieving what?
Oh, right.
"He wants to die"
This is how the story really goes:
"She wants him
He wantED her
He leaves, lives
She withers."
Strange twist of events.
She will cling to those nights
Where sleep comes for a few hours
And she clings to the mirages of him.
Personal torture, knife turning in stomach
Windpipe suffocating, immobilizing
Absolute heartache,
But at least she can see him.
And at least he is happy.
Jul 9, 2010
Jul 9, 2010 at 7:49 AM UTC
tobacco stains everything
it stains my lungs
my love
my life
my brain
it makes me feel alive
it makes me feel okay
and i've started to believe i’ve become addicted
as the shakes start to settle
and the energy begins to flood through my body
motivating me and immobilizing me
i can't stop smoking and i can't believe it's gotten this far
i believe that
this will take over my life
as much as i don't want it to
it soothes my thoughts
but not my hands
i promised myself i wouldn’t get addicted
not become a slave to the industry that ***** me in
the nicotine keeps me coming back every time
everything keeps me coming back
i literally can't handle the thought of being addicted again
addicted to the thoughts of being addicted
after i drank
after i took
after i smoked
i couldn't be without it
it makes me admits things i'm too afraid to admit to sober
it makes everything come out easier
i want someone to understand that this
makes me afraid
afraid for myself, my life
it makes me afraid that this will be something that ***** my money away
penny by penny
i thought that this would be something easy to quit after so many years of abusing it
i thought that this was something that i could handle
i thought
and i thought
and i guess that’s whats brought me here
Nov 10, 2015
Nov 10, 2015 at 7:31 PM UTC
Abruptly introduced itself
at the midnight sanctum
in an immobilizing face to face -
The dark substratum
that is everyone's birthright,
infinitely intricate
ominous and exacting -
Taunting, "Think you can redirect me
with your petty conscious resolve?
I am in your dreams and habits,
your very brain stem,
every cell of your body.
Do you understand the power I possess?
Do you actually believe, for a heartbeat,
that you can keep a small
self-conceived candle
aflame?"
- fr
Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 11:31 PM UTC
I wish I could go Supernova
To explode
And burn up this crippling anxiety
The chest pumping
Immobilizing pressure
Weighing me down
Sep 27, 2016
Sep 27, 2016 at 10:21 PM UTC
Unwind within me.
Oh pain,
I knotted you up,
Crudely looped and tore at you,
Yet your strands were too strong,
Those ropes that bit into my flesh
Bound my wrists, held my legs.
I knotted you up
Into a bundle I could hold
Look at and investigate
Gain comfort from keeping you in my sights.
Better than not knowing your devious work
Not knowing which parts of my life
You were immobilizing.
I know you now,
I can see where you begin,
That frayed end,
Yet in the midst of the knots
I can’t find your resolution.
As I try to unwind you
Work this pain through
It is like trying to feed thread
through the eye of a needle.
These knots have become a hindrance
Trying to feed you through my mouth
Onto a page,
and now holding you has gained it’s own kind of pain
like I may never be rid of you.
I pray, unwind within me
Flee from me for I have had my fill,
Yet I know you won’t
For it was I who knotted you up,
So I must sit here and ceremoniously,
Ritually, unbind you.
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 2:06 PM UTC
The uncertainty will **** me
Slithering towards me
Surging throughout me
Twisting my insides into a knot
Squeezing and pulsating like a python
Immobilizing me
Swallowing me whole
Fating me to a painfully slow, systematic death
I never really know when it's going to strike
Everything seems perfectly normal
Suddenly I'm grappling with the possibility of being betrayed
Of being unloved
Of being alone
Soon my worries will manifest themselves
A nasty new reality will be the punishment for my anxieties
For it is wrong to burden anyone else with them
Nov 22, 2017
Nov 22, 2017 at 11:41 PM UTC
My body aches.
The spaces between my bones feel like they're filled with glue.
My chest is tight.
When I breathe in, it reminds me that I need to sleep more and dream less.
I consider the kindness of the ground below me as I stand, sipping at chai tea and staring catatonically at the only light in the room.
I consider the kindness of the walls as my eyes move to your things on the table.
I folded your shirt,
but before doing so,
held it to my face.
It smelt of your skin.
I don't want to forget you.
Promise you won't forget me?
The light spotlights these things,
so I take a picture.
This is what I need to do.
The picture is warm
and reminds me of sunrise.
I close my eyes
and feel orange and yellow.
The scratch of your unshaved face on my cheek.
On your way out the door,
you tell me that you might die today, and that you love me.
My stomach churns.
I hope you know that if these are the last words you say to me,
I won't ever be okay.
I try and slip into sleep.
But "four more days" creeps into me,
wraps around my heart and squeezes it tightly until my eyes fill with tears.
I'm sobbing now.
Clasping my hand over my mouth to muffle the sound.
I can feel each day like a rope around me.
Tomorrow, around my neck.
Thursday has my arms and legs. Immobilizing me.
Friday, my lungs.
I'm weak.
Tossing and turning.
When will I see you again?
How many more seconds until then?
Twenty seven days between.
Twenty seven days left lonely.
I'm hoping twenty seven days isn't enough time for you to change your mind.
God knows twenty seven lifetimes wouldn't change mine.
Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 8:50 AM UTC
The battle begins in the dark.
With a stabbing inhale you rip me open.
Tear me from sleep--heart pounding,
we wrestle in a distant corner of the bed.
Wake no one,
say nothing;
it's not his problem.
I know every trick in your book:
the immobilizing grip, poisoned gut wrenching fear,
the way you force my eyes open, pushing back fitful dreams.
Yes, I know your tricks, but knowing hasn't helped me yet.
I can drown you with a bottle in the night,
but your back before the dawn, gnawing my insides.
Should I starve you of sleep,
your joint locks force and turn the choice against me.
After so long the war has become intimate--familiar and rhythmic--
our private, frenzied dance
ragged breath and fevered steps memorized
culminate in a flawless performance.
In this state I begin to imagine that I wanted it this way.
What would my life be without so practiced, so relentless a partner?
Mar 5, 2014
Mar 5, 2014 at 2:13 PM UTC
as i pass through this tunnel i called life
catching a small glimpse of what's outside
only to be obscured by rock walls once more
i can imagine the breath of fresh air
life delivered to my choking lungs
black and withered from the lies i told
(i can change)
(it will only get easier)
(there is, love for me)
and my eyes, not open to the sun
see so far in front when blind to the light
everything looks the same granite and grey
deliver me from this overbearing mountain
of self afflicted doubts, weighing down
to the point of immobilizing madness
will path i walk ever lead me home?
the rusty tracks beside, promising change
winding, twisting, never-ending
when
a rumble through the ground
a tremble through my being
a light! a freight train savior!
a step to the tracks,
wait, hold.
arms open to embrace my fate
Mar 28, 2012
Mar 28, 2012 at 10:32 AM UTC
August is the dreary, immobilizing heat at the height of summer weariness
and languid romantics.
It is alone on the trail in the woods,
arms outstretched,
head thrown back,
against the pavement with sleep in mind,
arms outstretched,
a hand dangling over the edge into the pool.
It is feet dragging through the dirt below the swing,
back and forth,
beneath the dome of stars and the hazy mahogany clouds sauntering past the burnt hue of the nearly colorless sky,
and the heat lightning and the blue and green glow that rests upon the blackened treetops that surround you on all sides
on a canoe in the middle of the lake as mosquitos nip at your skin,
but you care little because you feel just about as small in comparison to the universe as they do in comparison to you,
and you wish that you were as hungry to bite at the world beyond the horizon's trees as they are.
They ***** your skin for the blood that lies beneath it.
You only wish you had the courage to strike the earth.
Apr 23, 2017
Apr 23, 2017 at 4:20 AM UTC
I’m strapped to a table,
An old, wooden table, where
I can feel the peeling wood digging
Into my back, causing me tangible pain.
The ropes wrap around my whole body,
Constricting my chest and cutting into my arms,
Making it almost impossible to move or even breathe.
I hear a long low buzz, almost imperceptible.
After a short pause, it starts again, louder.
I can’t find its source, as the space I’m in is
Pitch black, an enveloping, smothering darkness
That almost suffocates me in its desire to conceal.
The buzz comes again, louder still, and I feel a
Pounding in my head, as the sound waves travel through
My brain, disturbing it, sending wave after wave of pain.
A sort of sadness seeps through me with each wave, and
Soon I begin to see shapes and shadows, forming a
Realistic picture in my mind’s eye.
Every bad, sad, disgusting, angry, intolerable memory
That I possess is being relieved, with each buzz,
Another memory, another sadness, another heartbreak.
Before long, the buzz hacks into my future thoughts,
Showing me the worst possible outcomes to future situations.
Death. Destruction. Chaos. Evil. Heartbreak. Discord.
I squirm on the table, trying in vain to escape,
The ropes wrapping tighter around me, as if they know,
As if they know I’m struggling, that with every memory wave
I’m losing more and more of myself, more and more
Of my good memories as the buzz increases in magnitude.
My mind is imploding, the torment is so great, I feel like
I won’t survive another wave. That’s when the soft
Laugh comes at me from the shadows.
A cool breeze blows across my right ear, and a
Whisper of a chuckle reaches me, immobilizing me,
Making me stay still in pure and utter terror.
A cold, calculating shiver runs down my spine, and I realize
There is no escape from the confines of my mind.
Apr 26, 2018
Apr 26, 2018 at 1:00 PM UTC
I miss you
Three little, tiny insufficient words
But three sharp daggers of pain
I love you
Three little, tiny insufficient words
But three life changing bullets of emotion
I need you
Three little, tiny insufficient words
But three immobilizing needles of pain
I want you
Three little, tiny insufficient words
But three paralyzing knives of emotion
I hate you
Three little, tiny insufficient words
But three heart wrenching shards of pain
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 5:55 PM UTC
I experience immobilizing aches throughout my life
I experience headaches
That make me not want to think
I experience stomachaches
That make me not want to move
I experience heartaches
That make me not want to feel
All of these aches steer me away from living my life
And the only aspirin is living that fleeting life as I veer off course
Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 10:37 PM UTC