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Rishawn May 2020
my skin welcomes a forgotten itch
the grass is softer than I remember
Ripe with morning dew and yet I bath in the summer sun
Look up to see my happiness
in the form of tom, **** and harry
friends to the core as we laugh and we smile
it has truly been a while
I take a moment and leave the group
as I contemplate why i'm happy at this time
Its because I am away
I am unplugged
I am off the grid
I am free of stress
I am at the mercy of my friends
and I am weightless
Rishawn May 2020
What's harder to resolve..
alone while alone
or smothered when together?

Can my "self love" provide me the warmth of a hug
or the rush of kiss
what about the safety in a hand hold
or the depth of sincerity in eye contact?

It is a blatant no

What I do have is tranquility of self
freedom to pursue
hinges released and shackles removed

The runway is now clear
as my wings spread and the wheels pull in
the air is clear and the journey seems limitless

but where am I going that I need to land there alone?
I'm convinced the journey is my happiness
so should i fear the destination?
Rishawn May 2020
She wasn't right for me
Tell her that
I can't
Yes you can
Why choose to hurt who you love the most?
Because lying to sooth your soul is violating the pureness of her love
So be honest?
Tell your truth, share your story and choose to love yourself
What if there is pain?
Life is suffering, highs can only be felt once lows are known
I wish I was as strong as you
You are talking to me and I am you, its in you to be free, if you let me be you and you be me
Rishawn May 2020
the hardest fight to win
is the one that is forever raging
an inch never taking

no man's land is your residence
you can only proceed with hesitance
as this battle your fighting is you against you
and its filled with dissonance

turbulent thoughts
eddy flows and countercurrent desires
your mind is afloat in a sea of indecision
waiting for a vision
of clarity
Where is my north star?
My guiding light
to help me on my mission
to make this decision

I keep wrestling with my ambition
and my desire for submission
to my guilty side
not hiding
never shying
from the chance to take all my time
and burn it with relaxation

a win for the soul but a loss for the mind
why sleep now when I have the rest of time?
but never slowing will the dim the glowing
of the creative ember lighting the way
and you never want to see that day
when it fades away

so take your time, let your stress wash away
let the good times play
maybe even pray?

Life is there tomorrow
you are here today
Rishawn May 2020
Spirt is tattered
and I cant stand eat or breath
this world, sometimes, I just want relief
Im sad
Im hurt
im afraid

my face is soaked
its raining inside
im laughing bc its my eyes that are lying
im bleeding tears

i was happy and then it hit
now im falling into a pit
who do i ask when there is no one to tell
Oh i feel so unwell

Help me please im begging please
take away the unease
i have people to please

there is light all around and i can see it
Im near it
I feel it
i want it
but i cant reach it

its not mine today, today i am pain
tomorrow i may be me or i am be someone new
im unsure who pain will make me
i just know, what people will see, will be un true

I need you and i dont know who you are
but me, i cant do this alone
im scared, im afraid
im pain
im mundane
Rishawn May 2020
frigid, fragile, flustered

unrecognizably nervous

my name? what could it be
lover boy

Im just her toy
play with me? only when it works for you

lay me down to charge, you've got a new fascination

but where would I like to be?
nowhere else but next to thee

its inescapable my love for you
idiotic, irreversible and irrational

yet im your lover boy

it comes down to a smile
when i spend time with you
even if not a while
my ***** turn blue

lust, trust, i hope you dont ever see me with disgust

not sure if i could handle it

woah woah who am I ?

I'm your lover boy

set me free or be with me

set me free or be with me

leave me be or set me free
if you cant bear to be with me
Rishawn May 2020
Hardest to find when in need
Can bleed out of thee when
silence is the key

These joyous instruments are models of expression
hold you back or set you free
if you can handle their potential
they are dangerous
but oh how beautiful they can be

Of course its words that I mean

they say nothing in life is free


the cost of harnessing these
or living through them is incalculable

but saying them
expressing emotions
through these simple letters
is powerful

yet their complexity can be captured
by these words

That's the richness that I need
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