A wanderer of the cycles of Faith. A simpleton made to follow in desperation the God creator of endless possibilities and the flow of time and it's ultimate fate. We are headed to our death my friend don't you try to get ahead of yourself. Remember Life moves on with each passing moment so no big deal make your trail of experiences give insight to the reader who ever it may be. Know that your words may be trash to some but more precious than Gold or Emeralds to others. Inspire this generation to get detoxified of the Demons, Satan drugs and depression. Defending my faith and relationship with Christ the begotten Son the Holy Lamb.

Know that my experience may be small and insignificant but I let you know that this words will not fall on deaf ears. Let it be what God wants it to be. I am sharing my poetic expression and experience of how I see Life and it's context. Don't know where all this sharing of poems and experiences will take me or lead me to but one thing am sure of I will be able to transform your train of thought even if it's to the smallest most insignificant degree I still will play a part on your decision making. Just look at my Life and myself see I am a mirror of you. Who I am truly for I am real and I am here to aid you with whatever you may be going thru due to the fact that I am a fellow human concern for my fellow neighbor. Therefore, we are not different the only thing that may change is your *** skin color and faith in something bigger than yourself or it may be nothing and you choose to live life as a Atheist.

Don't worry am not judging you...am simply conversating to your inner being. Come close let's share our lives with each other from all in all we come from the same source and the same God ...Creation. Seeking a soulmate to share my Life with I haven't found the Queen that will make my life complete. I been asking God to aid me on my quest but without success.

I won't give up I know there is someone out there in the endless sea of lost and saved souls 1 of them is the one holding the master key to my soul. Awaiting but am becoming  impatient  at times. Lord allow your wisdom and guidance to show me what I must do to ensure this trial.

Each of us are headed to Judgement and concealed within lies the eternity we shall endure when the your fate is decided by the Immortal One. Furthermore, if the Book of Life isn't a fairytale I pray that my name be in it. Still must struggle with the daily spiritual and carnal battle that rages on in each and every one of us...no one excluded from its tests and trials. Leave me a comment or a like or share my poem or even give it some sunlight for I will do the same for your work if it pleases the one who inspired you to create it.

Be brave have faith build your destiny on a happy belief system stay positive and optimistic. Just be YOU and if people don't or cannot accept you for who you are then they are to feeble minded to understand your perspectives and your outlook on how you view life and live and experience life.

Stay Strong. God Bless You. Thank you for reading.
©Franko The Christian Poet2016

I don't always need to go out
i cant even think of how it would be.
conversating with other when they have no room to think;
no room to think about the most important things in life,
only room to think "hey, do you think i can get that guy?"
No i cant do it, not at all;
to busy stuck communicating with the people in the wall.
There more open minded,
more wise... more alive.
                                                       yours truly,
                                                          ­           . . .

It was a Saturday night somewhere where'bouts
December the 10th of 2012;
okay, fine, I can't recall the exact date, but that's not
the point
of this;
it's so much less bout the whens and whys and so much more
bout the whats, the what the **** it was.
And it was so good.
It was just a December night
in my windowless bedroom,
and I know it was a Saturday
for sure
because Daddy was picking me
up
at 9 o'clock on the ******* dot
because that Sunday was game day,
and we needed to get to Indy in time
to swallow down some Medium Rare burgers
before kickoff.
Anyway, so yeah,
Saturday night in my cave of a bedroom,
the only light that broke the darkness's
arrogant foreground
was the iridescent glow of the four
lavender and ocean scented candles I had placed
on the shelf by my desk,
seemingly casual enough,
but nothing I ever do is actually casual,
and it never was casual with you,
as much as I may have pretended.
It was all calculated, all culminated, all animated and anticipated,
*******, yeah, I laid out the whole set up
with the candles and the music and the glow,
like a perfectly **** setting.
But it turned out after it all that it wasn't that
sexiness I thought I wanted
that hit me so hard in the gut.
It was us, sitting there on my bed
side-by-side,
bodies close enough that we were almost touching,
like I could feel the body heat from your
perfectly built arms,
but I didn't actually feel the silkiness
that was your caramel skin
against my ivory.
Nope. No touching, for once
it really wasn't about that,
not even in the slightest.
We just sat and gabbed and laughed and
cried and squealed and
joked and concluded and pondered
and on and on
and
on
it went,
our bodies every so often readjusting
their positions on my white comforter with the black
flowers,
and I really just knew you in those moments
and you I
and it was like there was no clock
no time
no morning early rising committed plans
to the outside world,
because that realm ceased to exist as
you laughed in baritone
and told me funny stories about football and your friends
and then tragedies
about a mom that never loved you right
and a dad you never knew except for
the drugs and
his lack of
presence.
And there I went telling
you about when I got kicked off the team
and the one time
I got beat up
and other secrets I never knew I would
tell anyone and somehow
on it went as we were spiraling into
the abyss full of
everything we have ever needed, wanted, desired,
fears no longer fearful
and hurt set loose;
somehow I frantically reached for my phone
realizing that we just
made an entire night of conversating
and falling into something
that could be that word I won't
use because I ain't entirely sure,
but ****, my Dad was 20 minutes away,
you couldn't stay,
and I think I just
yeah,
I'll say it,
cuz I really think that night
I fell
in love.

Written spells and locked doors.
Mental dispels and cursed flaws.
Aching tensions and delusional illusions.
Illusive dreams and paths to explore.
Wide awake, like a bat...
My mind is on high alert, it never goes to sleep.
Constant mental chatter, an over-active mental state.
It is eternal and I live in the misery and learn to control it.
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.
My mind is it's own person, it's own monster.
It opposes different ideologies, beliefs, and conflicts, into one.
I question my mind and talk to myself like a mad clown.
Conversating in my own form.

Boundless amount of wit and seedless unpleasant jokes.
Dark and uncensored, explicit and provocative.
A ***** tongue with **** lips to make you want to play with me more.

But am I really what you desire?
Or have you created your own storm.
Do I reflect you?
Or do you just reflect yourself through me.

Smile through the misery, you can't die with a serious face.
Stitch up the corners and pull it up high so you never have to cry again.
Maybe I am you, or maybe I am just suffering through my own madness.
Maybe my madness has become someone else.
My actions of contradictory displays.
But you love me though...

Lets play

I was sitting at the edge of the woods,
Feeling the saliva glaze my throat.
I told them all this **** was good,
Conversating with my ghost.
Like a leaf on a river floating aimlessly no where,
I got washed up in the end.
A girl was there to bring me here,
This is what she said:

Man with hair as brown as earth,
Listen to my words.
Plants can heal,
Plants can ****.
People can heal,
People do ****.
Peace was lost,
Yet to be found.
Share your plant,
Earn the crown.

And She disappeared out of the blue,
I knew exactly what to do.

Now I write with HIGH *** hope,
To spread the love Ive learned to know.
The temper is gone,
I've disposed of hate.
You wont understand,
Until you can relate.
"Give peace a chance"
Said a wise, wise man,
Before your last dance,
Lend a hand.
----------------------------------

Not everybody gets a chance to live life to its fullest, so why not take that chance? **** the fighting, **** judgement, **** so-called "medicine". Negotiate. Smoke a joint and chill. Open your mind. Learn to love. If I can do it, so can the world.

You might say I am talented, and talented am I
But maybe not the way in which you're thinking
My words may seem so balanced as they bleed before your eyes
But the veins from which they spill are badly torn
The peace that I have wanted only seems fit to comply
Scarcely randomly between each effort's sinking
It is my greatest challenge to find beauty in the lies
And the tragedies now endlessly reborn

I tell myself each instance, it won't be like times before
But repeatedly, I doubt the words I'm saying
Even though I know the future has such miracles in store
My worries and my fears come out to play
Instead of having patience, I embrace what I abhor
'Til what little peace I've found, I am forsaking
And I find it that much harder to keep holding out for more
Through the torment of such never ending pain

So, I write down every word of which I need to hear the most
The very words I often speak to others
And arrange them in a way I know I'll keep them very close
And reflect on them each time I lose my way
But, as my understanding seems to venture oh so close
To the truths that I so often seem to smother
The party starts all over, and I play the gracious host
Entertaining every doubt in every way

What seems like creativity so sanely resonating
Is emotion never making up its mind
Although it may seem natural, each time, I'm hesitating
Almost never satisfied with what I say
So many imperfections in the art that I'm creating
But I blend them in the best way I can find
'Til the beauty of the heartache and the pain so devastating
Ring out true for me as madness leads the way

My writing helps me through each darker day that's always waiting
And the storms which come to rage within my mind
Even in this reading, some of you are now relating
As you see the bitter truth in what I say
Don't focus on the way that I arrange my conversating
Focus on the messages within the rhymes
For my talent isn't in the way the words are correlating
It's in showing, just like you, I'm not okay

My dream cycle continues after my eyes first open
But they're as fleeting as the feelings I've tried to rope in.
It was a hassle to make the lasso for it was a vast chore
I see more than I speak, wondering what people wear the mask for.
Trading in the conversating to check how I am operating
Too many problems we've been elongating,
It's frustrating, and painstakingly obvious we've been separating
When only, our thoughts are rearranging, fluctuating, and demonstrating -
New ways to gain power.  So I'm trying new ways to spend my hours
Find bliss through lists I want to accomplish.
Melancholy thoughts can create or demolish
And so through routine, our being, we must constantly polish.
Free yourselves from the skull and get astonished
by the magic in the universe, inside your soul.
You're carefully crafting this fractal of reality that we see,
with every thought
Letting go is a must, even with things we had sought.
The spirit speaks, listen to what it has taught, and is currently teaching.
Your higher self will take you to higher peaks, so where are you reaching?

Does it serve yourself enough to be happy within?

Accepting the oneness and your ability to inspire, a new life begins.

i cried this morning
while washing my fruits
my tears mingling with water
fixated on conversating
about my emotions
simply due to the fact
that everything in my garden
was grown by

the love of me

only to be harvest
on a regular tuesday sunny afternoon
by none other

than the hands of you

I'll say after a
good amount of
searching and reading,
conversating and listening.
That maybe its the mad ones
who sit like statues on the steps
facing Beacon street,
who may be the only
ones who really
know the truth.

There's that way we
are all supposed to be
and that cruel myth that is
happiness.
The tales they
tell as truths keep
me seeking out the
whys while beating
back the reasons.

Material joys can
numb it,
but its the drugs
that **** the pain,
new cars don't.

Let the masses look
to their religions
let it act as their ******.
For my gods are
closest when danger
is near.

There's not enough answers,
just as there are no
real Saints in
San Pedro.
As far as I can
tell.

Friends may come and go
but it's the addictions
who remain reliable.
Where people hurt
drugs comfort.

Put me in charge
of this destiny,
I've guided it thus far
through the foggy mornings
and forgotten nights.
The short lived happy times
and the hardest of times
that always outshine
them all
on paper.

Allow me a little
control of
this destiny,
however short lived
that destiny
may become.

"Give your heart a break from knowing his favorite color
Give your heart a break from dreaming about his lips and his eyes, remember the ones you spent countless nights getting lost in?
Give your heart a break from conversating with his shadow and start getting to know your own skin
Give your heart a break from drowning his phone in one sided apologies and hopeless "i love you's" you've done your best i guess and my darling I can't tell you why he is so cold hearted but I can tell you that there is a fire burning inside of you and your lungs are evacuated your burning building and it'll come out the right way in the end i promise and yes he's a **** but you hopelessly fall at his feet and can't help how the love you have found is killing you faster than a gunshot and quicker than an overdose, my dear I'm so ******* sorry he doesn't understand how much you love him and I'm sorry your veins have become untwined with his but you wanted to fall in love the contract clearly stated the consequences of loving this dangerous boy things are bad now but I know he'll come around i know it, after all once you fall in love the first time, you never really fall out of it but for now just do yourself a favor and give your heart break." (v.m)

& I  Know  & I Know  & I Know
Its Hot & Its Cold
I'm High Survive  The Lows
3 Am With The Candles Low
Writing Rituals
Angels Shake  With Window Cove
Tea Kettle Screaming In There On The Kitchen Stove
If You Dont Resonate  With Me
Its Because  We Difent Yo
Im On A Mission
Here To Save Raise Planet Earth
Jet The Human Race
Face Sweating Over Dose The Herb
Psychedelic Star Seed Flowing Bar ****
So Superb
Heart Eyed Green & Peep
Meditating  Breathy. HEAVY  & My Palms Wet
Smokers Claiming To Be Stoners
Toking **** Sweat
Thorat Chackra Gong Trachea Brontasores
LONG Neck
I'm Here Projecting  Spheres
I Ain't Gone Yet
Passing Through My Space Ship
On A Long Quest
Battle Ready Conquest
Mother's Earths Roots
Be Boots I'm Strong Yes
So Powerful Limitless
I Make The Shower Glow
I Spit Powdered Snow
I'm Oath Like Owl Toe
I'm Kato I'm Deeper  Than The Sea Floor
Ancient  Alien  Pleadia Here 1000 Times Before
No Need For Debating
Conversating Amazing
Of Courses  I'm So Sure
Love & Compassion
WISDOM Knowing The Planet
Grateful Don't Take Things For Granet
Every Thoughts A Seed
If Its Ya Need Water It With Ya Energy
Ascending Into A Better  Me
Trancend The Remedy
Light House Remember  Me
7 Legion  If You Faced With An Emeny
Kleem Or Kato
I'm Able To Tranmuate The Negative  Energy
I'm Soul Savior  NOT A Slave To Label
Romance & Treasure
Never Brraking Codes Even For Pleasure
Even For The Baddest Chick
I'm A Higher Being
Soul Sings On Galactic Ships

I wonder what it was like to be the first humans
I wonder what it was like to see the world so clean, wild,and free.
before skyscrapers and cars
before lights and freight trains.
I bet the first humans listened better
and understood more.
Now we have a robot(siri) conversating with us telling us what to do.
When before we listened to the wind and the stars to tell us our way.
The first humans made there way without a GPS and we get lost in our own
city streets now.
The first humans traveled on foot, drank water from streaming river bends,
and ate whatever they could hunt up on the way.
That life would be great
too be able to  be the first person to name a bird or a snake
OH and what a sight it would be to watch the world as it  grows
and forms like seeing The Grand Canyon when water was actaully all the way to the top of it.
Or seeing the Pyramids Form.
I think that If I was the first human
we would be in a hell of alot better situation then we are now.
The first human could've made the decision for peace and not war
the first person we had was a bad seed
he made the wrong decision that day
and look what that decision has led too
Billions of years
of living with one person
mistake.

A Brother Lost....

One night, one call, all lost.
Instant shock, heart stopped, breath gone.
Our family tree so painfully torn.
No, couldn’t be true… I knew.
Quick, hurry, rush. Have to leave, must go.
Arrive, open the door, pastor is here.
He wants to sit and talk.
Don't want to sit, are you crazy?
Leave me be, let me see.
(Thinking to myself) It's okay, I can fix him.
Not to worry, he will be alright.
Watch I can wake him up, just give me the chance.
Looking down at the body bag, I knew...
They say “Are you sure you want to see him.”
What!! Got to see, need to see! I nodded.
That cold, ugly, black bag.
It's way too quite. The zipper is loud.
There he lay, still, too still.
He looks really good. It's okay, just a scratch.
The smile gave him away. Huh, not dead.
I told myself,
He is fne, it's a joke. He plays them all the time.
See him grin, that onery grin, not dead.
I am sure he's faking it.
Just shake him, wake him up. Probably passed out drunk.
Watch he'll get up. He pulled off a good one this time.
He's not dead, not with that grin.
I focused for any movement... None.
Ha, ha very funny, you pulled it off, you win.
Listen… Shhh…. Nothing....
Can't hear him breath.
It's not funny any more. Wake up, move, do something!!
Hey, come on. That’s enough! Get up, let's go.
Breath, Lance, Breath. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!!!
Lance?!?! Oh God, Lance?!?! Oh no! Lance?!?
No, no!! It's true. He is dead, he's dead!!
Than I heard my first shaky words.
“Are you sure he is dead?”
“Yes” the coroner said.
“What did you get yourself into this time
Lance?”
Cruel thing to say, I didn’t mean it, just came out.
He was gone, really gone.
Softly, I stroked his hair, leaned in and kissed his forehead.
There was nothing more I could do...

Walked outside to smoke.
I was the first one here.
Soon our family will be here.
Oh no, I forgot it's mom and dad's anniversary.
They will never celebrate it again...
Have to be strong for all of them.
Three cigarettes later, they are all here.
So many packed into one car.
Somber faces, walked in ever so quietly.
One by one, yet strongly together.
We all looked down at him.
A few tears, not many from one sister.
Whispering to him “No more pain, Bubbie, no
More pain.”
Left to go get some air, I think.
My oldest son tried hard not to cry, but moist was his face with fresh tears.
I held him tight, tried to ease his pain.
Mom was trying to be professional about it, conversating with the coroner.
She never looked so hallow before...
Dad, poor dad, took it really hard.
He was so lost and confused.
I had never seen him this broken before...
No tears from the oldest sibling.　
Only her face showed her agony.

Our brother was gone.
A son was dead.
Father to four, no more.
A friend to many.
It was soberly true.
One by one, we quietly stepped outside.
All is silent, lost in our hazy thoughts.
My brain, it's frozen, can't function.
Someone please say something, anything.
I couldn't bare not to hear, some kind of noise.
All of us surrounded, yet so very alone.
Finally, they headed back home.
First one here, last one to go.
I couldn't comprehend leaving him there.
He was cold, and becoming stiff...
Up went the zpper.
Alone in that dark black bag.
Nothing I could do. I had to leave him there.

I was overwhelmed with guilt.
We argued the last time we spoke.
He was the only one in our family that ever truly showed me love.
Every breath I took burned.
My soul was disgusted with me.
What was left of my heart, shriveled up.


At the funeral,
I heard the most horrific, sorrowful cries...
Then I realized, the cries were coming from me.
Oh God, please let this be a nightmare..
I remembering trying to pick him up and hold him, hug him. I needed my big brother's bear hug, where I always felt safe.
Everyone was gasping reminding me of his children.
I let him go and said, “My brother was my hero, and he was my best friend.”
I cried so hard for so long, that there was no more tears, yet I was still crying.
At the cemetery, it became more real.
When his casket was being lowered down I collapsed.
“Lance, no, no!!"
My father pulled me up.
I looked at him in disbelief, saying “Daddy, we can't just leave him down there, we can't!!”
“I know sis, but we have to.”

A piece of me was buried that day too.
My heart still mourns.
Life has never been the same again.
Lance, I love you brother.
The wind is still knocked out of me.
Even after almost 12 years.
Bubbie, I miss you so much!
Til i see you again....


Lori Lee Mack
Copyright
03/18/2010
Revised 04/28/2018


Robert Lance Mack
March 18 1967 - June 7 2006
(Our parents 53rd wedding anniversary)
39 years old
Left behind four children

Red sheets and the
Cool sides of my crimson pillow case.
Warm air
Breezes into my brand new place.
My fan is rotating
The birds are conversating
The sun will rise soon
And then it will be noon
And then the day will be done
But I'll still feel the sun
From my heart beat sheets
And my room, complete.

Ever since I was a girl.
I knew what it felt like to do good, to be genuinely good. In return, I humbled myself at seeing the glistening faces of glee looking at me.
But in the reflection of their pearlesent whites, I had gazed upon my smile an mixture of dispear.
Counciously conversating with myself what I did that day. Critizing what I could have done better.
Everyday is like this for me, there will be no end. Hand in hand we walk, my sickness,
my friend.

My thoughts desire to be loved before they even begin to exist. My mind is made of things I cannot use words to describe. Because I feel thoughts. I do not simply think them. I think in feelings. My thoughts are plagued by emotions bigger than themselves. Let me explain; My thoughts are pure nothings without feelings, however my feelings are more than thoughts, therefore I cannot possibly tell you what I am "thinking" without first conversating with my feelings about what they are thinking. Rather they are not thinking, but they are feeling thoughts.. The feeling thought is called a "fought". All fights end with one final "fought"

I smoke from a.m. to p.m. I see them.
Them man acting all crazy, lazy, johnny blazing, fire devastating waiting, conversating, again with myself in the mirror my only friend. Again my loud voice it brings fear to all man I talk and conversate with the spirit that does awaken that man that had his hold in Satin but God Almighty Save him because in the end Omega sees all life through and through wins in the right time comes through always hope always hope always hope
I smoke from a.m. to p.m. I see them.
obscene him, acting mean lean fighting machine clean like bald head like I'm Mr clean with a meme scrub suds off your *** I have on all my clothes she has on nothing fully exposed, Extra, extra! Yah heard I'm an intellectual mind flying in the third divine living line after line till day to time

And I am out my mind cause

I smoke from a.m. to p.m. I see them.

I think I'm fine putting it down her spine.

I got to

live on letting on let go explode like a bomb does implode if I did that will I extract the divine love that comes from two souls entwine like a snowflake and the spine hold 7 in front of us I must say I do trust God to guide.

and I fly, and I do collide like an asteroid, meteor shower she wants her power

Like a tower, I do stand firm still cannot instill fear in me because like metal I am not real. Intrigued by that my gat speaks load, slugs that hit you back.

So
I smoke from a.m. to p.m. I see them.  See them see them.

I like the mumble
Fan rotating
People conversating
The background
Sound
Of friends who come round
A not so small town
Roommates getting loud

And I like the jumble
I like to roll and rhyme
to pass sweet time

Climate like a jungle
Thick in the air
Big f*ckin hair
And I don't care
Just want your stare

She wears glitter
And jeans that just fit her
A part time babysitter
He wears a white t
Wonder does he like me
I'll never know
So take a puff
From my one hitter

:)

Summer is so peaceful
it is the loudest season of them all
If you listen closely you can hear the wind wildly blowing through the fully bloomed trees
You can hear the birds conversating with each other so gracefully
they too long for summer for they can finally come home
the chatter of your neighbors as their family come to visit them
Summer is so  beautiful
Its a shame the days get shorter

My man and another who was once a friend to me but ended up an enemy over complications
Used to be my brother
We were conversating on our past court cases and long lost lovers
As one does as days pass
Some we recall and others fictitious, for entertainment basis
It was negative now looking back
After all
We came to the conclusion the only education we embrace is
The knowledge of freedom due to time incarcerated
The only lesson we can grasp
Primitive thoughts lack direction
Meaning, they **** at navigation
Sail a moment of hope into a masked land mass
And ignorance blames the placement
Blood always runs thicker than water, even in the rivers that rose to flood
Took the path of some resistance
You always fear loss, if you've ever lost what you love
So don't break cypher with negativity that's the metaphorical equivalent of a cashed blunt
Keep it real
Keep the front porch comforts close to you're heart
Revered
The only passions we lose contact with are the ones that we conceal

Let me speak to you
Seek the truth through
The conversating we do

You see her and you stutter
Wrack your brains for something to say
Pretty sure you might have to sleep on it tonight
With this being the girl of your dreams

In daylight, she plays the princess  
With chorus line, she dances across your mind
The only difference being when you she sees
There's not that glimmer in her eyes

You're not that great on conversating
So you keep things as they are
No need in waiting past hesitating
You'll see her tonight as you snooze neath the stars

Where you may ask her to go out dancing
In an open field lit up by the moon
She'll have stars in her eyes as she comes to realize
You're the man with all the right moves

She'll then tell you how much she loves you
And that you are a dream come true
You'll answer in kind where have we been all our lives
In this dream, you've dreamt more than a time or two

You might marry and she'll have your children
Both boy and girl to round out the perfection of love
No telling though which way this dream will go
Still with her in your dreams it's more than enough

You just wish you didn't stutter being near her
Wrack your brains for something smooth to say
As once again you find you'll sleep on it tonight
With this girl being the girl of your dreams

I've been thinking about you
Casually conversating about to-dos
Flashing images serenading me
You're a friend I wish I could see
But you only sing in my head
Out in the world, I'm never said
So I ponder alone, in a drugged-out dread
Laughing in a corner with my only friend
As the world falls over, and so does my bed
I'm in my head with my only begotten friend.