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"bludgeoned" poems
I remember hiding under an old cherry wood dining table. I remember holding my baby sister, shielding her eyes, covering her and trying to tuck her away. Pulling her as close to me as possible, like I might be able to fold her skin into mine so she wouldn’t have to see what was happening around us. I can still hear her crying into my bony 7 year old shoulder and whaling amongst the chaos with the bitty 4 year old voice that she had at the time. I remember the heart stopping feeling of watching my mother get thrown into the wall and watching my brother, 11 years older than myself, hurtle the beautiful antique silver coffee *** that my grandmother left us- into the space near her head where it bludgeoned the wall. I remember barely being taller than the table myself and pulling my sister out when I saw a chance for us to escape the scene and run into another room.  I remember turning around and seeing my older sister, who was 10 at that time, running up and hitting and kicking my brother and getting shoved to the side. I’ve grown accustomed to the headaches I now get at the sight of flashing police lights.
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Mar 2, 2015
Mar 2, 2015 at 12:02 AM UTC
ptsd
I was relaxed, and deep in thought The type of talk that silence brought When just in earshot it rocked, tick tock tick tock "Must be a clock" I told myself and resumed my thought Though as the seconds passed I could not, Despite the will with which I fought Do to its incessant knock Tick tock Tick tock I searched for the clock Unable to find the train I sought I grew more and more distraught With each and every tick and tock That find the clock, I could not As the silence grew more fraught With the knock, Tick Tock Tick Tock I knew the pain of Lancelot On and on it ticked and tocked I cursed at the unseen dreadnought It no longer merely mocked But each and every tick and tock Became an unseen onslaught TICK TOCK TICK TOCK T'was 11 o'clock, When my heart felt the gunshot Though the shots I could not block And on and on the bullets poured Further into the fray I bored Each foot a cinderblock Weighed by war I slowly walked Tick Tock Tick Tock How I'd make it answer for Alas With little blood left to speak for Desperately I implored "Restrain your hands that caused such gore; We need not fight evermore!" But when I heard the ceaseless knock Tick tock Tick tock I new my words had been ignored And slowly collapsed to the floor ****** and bludgeoned when I hit bed rock, I had still found no clock But tick and tock it had forgot The church bell rang t'was 12 o'clock, Though mortal wounds the seconds wrought I no longer was distraught And as I lay in the hemlock It occurred in my last thoughts I would miss the beating knock tick..., tock... tick..., tock...
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Mar 28, 2016
Mar 28, 2016 at 9:04 PM UTC
Pendulum
I was relaxed, and deep in thought The type of talk that silence brought When just in earshot it rocked, tick tock tick tock "Must be a clock" I told myself and resumed my thought Though as the seconds passed I could not, Despite the will with which I fought Do to its incessant knock Tick tock Tick tock I searched for the clock Unable to find the train I sought I grew more and more distraught With each and every tick and tock That find the clock, I could not As the silence grew more fraught With the knock, Tick Tock Tick Tock I knew the pain of Lancelot On and on it ticked and tocked I cursed at the unseen dreadnought It no longer merely mocked But each and every tick and tock Became an unseen onslaught TICK TOCK TICK TOCK T'was 11 o'clock, When my heart felt the gunshot Though the shots I could not block And on and on the bullets poured Further into the fray I bored Each foot a cinderblock Weighed by war I slowly walked Tick Tock Tick Tock How I'd make it answer for Alas With little blood left to speak for Desperately I implored "Restrain your hands that caused such gore; We need not fight evermore!" But when I heard the ceaseless knock Tick tock Tick tock I new my words had been ignored And slowly collapsed to the floor ****** and bludgeoned when I hit bed rock, I had still found no clock But tick and tock it had forgot The church bell rang t'was 12 o'clock, Though mortal wounds the seconds wrought I no longer was distraught And as I lay in the hemlock It occurred in my last thoughts I would miss the beating knock tick..., tock... tick..., tock...
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59
We are sands astride and in the tides Waters which tare us from both sides Passion and fury Duty and honor Pushes us in And pull us out Love to hate Pushes us in And pulls us out The desire for domesticity And the desire to be free Pushes us in And pulls out Till we are bludgeoned By the flotsam Tangled in the terrible debris Battered by the violent sea No more you than I am me And I wish I had the gills to breath Before those tides overwhelm me
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Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 12:46 PM UTC
The Tides
1. Fallow brown, like he's poured his whole soul out through the gold sieve and lies in wait to be replenished. 2. The color of the ocean. Blue, I guess, but that’s not even the half of it. All the ruggedness of the waves—forming up, breaking, and forming again like life is only the motions. Her eyes are blue, but you could hardly tell. 3. A hand-painted bowl of fresh chocolate frosting from which the most immature hands soonest get a mouthful. 4. Beautiful. Like, drop dead gorgeous. I’d dig my own grave and stick to rolling in it if she ever looked at me some type of way. Their color? I don’t know. But most of all, I dare to wonder about the bludgeoned scar between them. 5. Sturdy cobalt. Far more indicative of her steady heart than gold could ever hope to be. Still susceptible to tear, but not so easily warped by heat or stress. 6. Simply brown. No, red? It’s always been hard to tell through the fog. Truthful like the rawest earth, I’ll call her mahogany. 7. Faded blue spray paint over a slate gray wall. Forcibly muted after her years of blasting music, but there’s still that rogue twinkle to them that I pray slips through the cracks. 8. Coffee, with all the vim and vigor to make you click your heels and fall in love. 9. Unripe lime seen lazing in the shade. Not fit for a margarita just yet, but straining at the bit nonetheless. 10. Hazel, although I still don’t know what the **** that actually is. Whatever. It looks nice on her resume. 11. Green. Or were they blue? The memories of her were too wonderful, too important, that I had to let the littlest details fade away first. 12. The crystallized seafoam that made me realize I deserved to feel alive, too.
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Jun 24, 2018
Jun 24, 2018 at 3:09 AM UTC
A dozen pairs of eyes
1. Fallow brown, like he's poured his whole soul out through the gold sieve and lies in wait to be replenished. 2. The color of the ocean. Blue, I guess, but that’s not even the half of it. All the ruggedness of the waves—forming up, breaking, and forming again like life is only the motions. Her eyes are blue, but you could hardly tell. 3. A hand-painted bowl of fresh chocolate frosting from which the most immature hands soonest get a mouthful. 4. Beautiful. Like, drop dead gorgeous. I’d dig my own grave and stick to rolling in it if she ever looked at me some type of way. Their color? I don’t know. But most of all, I dare to wonder about the bludgeoned scar between them. 5. Sturdy cobalt. Far more indicative of her steady heart than gold could ever hope to be. Still susceptible to tear, but not so easily warped by heat or stress. 6. Simply brown. No, red? It’s always been hard to tell through the fog. Truthful like the rawest earth, I’ll call her mahogany. 7. Faded blue spray paint over a slate gray wall. Forcibly muted after her years of blasting music, but there’s still that rogue twinkle to them that I pray slips through the cracks. 8. Coffee, with all the vim and vigor to make you click your heels and fall in love. 9. Unripe lime seen lazing in the shade. Not fit for a margarita just yet, but straining at the bit nonetheless. 10. Hazel, although I still don’t know what the **** that actually is. Whatever. It looks nice on her resume. 11. Green. Or were they blue? The memories of her were too wonderful, too important, that I had to let the littlest details fade away first. 12. The crystallized seafoam that made me realize I deserved to feel alive, too.
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12
* "Our cattle graze, the wind breathes." -Garcilaso * It was my ancient voice ignorant of thick bitter juices. I sense it lapping my feet beneath the fragile wet ferns. Ay, ancient voice of my love, ay, voice of my truth, ay, voice of my open flank, when all the roses flowed from my tongue and grass knew nothing of horses' impassive teeth! Here are you drinking my blood, drinking my tedious childhood mood, while in the wind my eyes are bludgeoned by aluminum and drunken voices. Let me pass the gates where Eve eats ants and Adam seeds dazzled fish. Let me return, manikins with horns, to the grove where I stretch and leap with joy. I know a rite so secret it requires an old rusty pin and I know the horror of open eyes on a plate's concrete surface. But I want neither world nor dream, nor divine voice, I want my freedom, my human love in the darkest corner of breeze that no oen wants. My human love! Those hounds of the sea chase each other and the wind spies on careless tree trunks. Oh ancient voice, burn with your tongue this voice of tin and talc! I long to weep because I want to, as the children cry in the last row, because I'm not man, nor poet, nor leaf, but only a wounded pulse circling the things of the other side I want to cry out speaking my name, rose, child and fir-tree beside this lake, to speak my truth as a man of blood slay in myself teh tricks and turns of the word. No, no. I'm not asking, I, desire, voice, my freedom that laps my hands. In the labyrinth of screens it's my nakedness receives the moon of punishment and the ash-drowned clock. Thus I was speaking. Thus I was speaking with Saturn stopped the trains, when the fod and Dream and Death were seeking me. Seeking me where the cows, with tiny pages' feet, bellow and where my body floats between opposing fulcrums.
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Double Poem of lake Eden
* "Our cattle graze, the wind breathes." -Garcilaso * It was my ancient voice ignorant of thick bitter juices. I sense it lapping my feet beneath the fragile wet ferns. Ay, ancient voice of my love, ay, voice of my truth, ay, voice of my open flank, when all the roses flowed from my tongue and grass knew nothing of horses' impassive teeth! Here are you drinking my blood, drinking my tedious childhood mood, while in the wind my eyes are bludgeoned by aluminum and drunken voices. Let me pass the gates where Eve eats ants and Adam seeds dazzled fish. Let me return, manikins with horns, to the grove where I stretch and leap with joy. I know a rite so secret it requires an old rusty pin and I know the horror of open eyes on a plate's concrete surface. But I want neither world nor dream, nor divine voice, I want my freedom, my human love in the darkest corner of breeze that no oen wants. My human love! Those hounds of the sea chase each other and the wind spies on careless tree trunks. Oh ancient voice, burn with your tongue this voice of tin and talc! I long to weep because I want to, as the children cry in the last row, because I'm not man, nor poet, nor leaf, but only a wounded pulse circling the things of the other side I want to cry out speaking my name, rose, child and fir-tree beside this lake, to speak my truth as a man of blood slay in myself teh tricks and turns of the word. No, no. I'm not asking, I, desire, voice, my freedom that laps my hands. In the labyrinth of screens it's my nakedness receives the moon of punishment and the ash-drowned clock. Thus I was speaking. Thus I was speaking with Saturn stopped the trains, when the fod and Dream and Death were seeking me. Seeking me where the cows, with tiny pages' feet, bellow and where my body floats between opposing fulcrums.
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50
Just for the case you weren't aware, I did know one that always cared With me about my woes and separate passions than just those of the Elm and arts and bark and scream. What else could I need to be Fixed of this world so bleak and blackened bludgeoned by the nature- All order in the sky! - of the human race? Yet this strange feeling does remain since that poor man's dying day; It's since from others long forgot about their purpose pinning plots Towards kindling spirits of the night to heights that rise into the lights For only ostracism can enlighten the now young minds - Away, Requiem! The rhyme for you, she's all I've known, other than your teachings, and all I can offer until I sing with you - whence, falter on through.
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Nov 14, 2012
Nov 14, 2012 at 9:52 AM UTC
For The Mentor - An Acrostic
“but if you have to move your best friend’s body… …you’re on your own.” Your best friend dies Before your eyes Somehow stays alive Then what? ***** salt-licked hair Brittle and frayed by medicine World’s unfathomable weight Trembling beneath the Wisdom Tree Her whole being crumples (arrugar) But her life-force remains intact Body bone Running on spirit reserves Why is that? She stands and cries Staring into ether I sit Wringing my hands Her tears strike the ground In tree-gecko unison ''' Pacific parasite super-strains Blood coated throat The full range of abuse’s color on all fronts for decades Attempted assaults, **** Dengue Giant Centipede venom to the skull But worst of all Rootlessness and fear the monkey on her back had a monkey on its back and was smoking a cigarette ''' Have you ever seen someone Completely broken? Corpsic shell of a woman Gaunt, wan in the tropics “Don’t put your trust in walls… …walls will only crush you when they fall” Brick-bludgeoned body The shrapnel lay like Sun scorched Novice-woven baskets At her feet But now she can see And breath Real breath ''' Genocide’s a ***** yes. Africans seem fatalistic to Americans Baby boy body, Grandpa human- shield “They’re your babies” Short-lived, yes But now they have peace Witnesses still weave the jungle What do you do with a friend who’s Seen real atrocity? Evil? ''' I’m learning. Prayer is power Will transcends the concrete (Bunkle, too.) She serves realness only Her seeking hands unweave the sacred Time is of no luxury right now Serve people through love and Grace awaits discovery ''' I’ve never carried a bleeding body. I needn’t “fear the terror by night, Nor the arrow by day” But I saw someone perish And resurrect What a gift What a gift Gubaadagem, Tinmad.
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Mar 5, 2013
Mar 5, 2013 at 1:45 PM UTC
Crocodile Tears
“but if you have to move your best friend’s body… …you’re on your own.” Your best friend dies Before your eyes Somehow stays alive Then what? ***** salt-licked hair Brittle and frayed by medicine World’s unfathomable weight Trembling beneath the Wisdom Tree Her whole being crumples (arrugar) But her life-force remains intact Body bone Running on spirit reserves Why is that? She stands and cries Staring into ether I sit Wringing my hands Her tears strike the ground In tree-gecko unison ''' Pacific parasite super-strains Blood coated throat The full range of abuse’s color on all fronts for decades Attempted assaults, **** Dengue Giant Centipede venom to the skull But worst of all Rootlessness and fear the monkey on her back had a monkey on its back and was smoking a cigarette ''' Have you ever seen someone Completely broken? Corpsic shell of a woman Gaunt, wan in the tropics “Don’t put your trust in walls… …walls will only crush you when they fall” Brick-bludgeoned body The shrapnel lay like Sun scorched Novice-woven baskets At her feet But now she can see And breath Real breath ''' Genocide’s a ***** yes. Africans seem fatalistic to Americans Baby boy body, Grandpa human- shield “They’re your babies” Short-lived, yes But now they have peace Witnesses still weave the jungle What do you do with a friend who’s Seen real atrocity? Evil? ''' I’m learning. Prayer is power Will transcends the concrete (Bunkle, too.) She serves realness only Her seeking hands unweave the sacred Time is of no luxury right now Serve people through love and Grace awaits discovery ''' I’ve never carried a bleeding body. I needn’t “fear the terror by night, Nor the arrow by day” But I saw someone perish And resurrect What a gift What a gift Gubaadagem, Tinmad.
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77
A desolate shore, The sinister seduction of the Moon, The menace of the irreclaimable Sea. Flaunting, ****** and grim, From cloud to cloud along her beat, Leering her battered and inveterate leer, She signals where he prowls in the dark alone, Her horrible old man, Mumbling old oaths and warming His villainous old bones with villainous talk-- The secrets of their grisly housekeeping Since they went out upon the pad In the first twilight of self-conscious Time: Growling, hideous and hoarse, Tales of unnumbered Ships, Goodly and strong, Companions of the Advance, In some vile alley of the night Waylaid and bludgeoned-- Dead. Deep cellared in primeval ooze, Ruined, dishonoured, spoiled, They lie where the lean water-worm Crawls free of their secrets, and their broken sides Bulge with the slime of life. Thus they abide, Thus fouled and desecrate, The summons of the Trumpet, and the while These Twain, their murderers, Unravined, imperturbable, unsubdued, Hang at the heels of their children--She aloft As in the shining streets, He as in ambush at some accomplice door. The stalwart Ships, The beautiful and bold adventurers! Stationed out yonder in the isle, The tall Policeman, Flashing his bull's-eye, as he peers About him in the ancient vacancy, Tells them this way is safety--this way home.
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4.2k
A Desolate Shore
Surely you, Jester. Unduly-expressed. Lambasted, insulted. Abrasive ... au naturel? I think... Surely not. Unless, Had the aforementioned not just the will to rip through my throat,  but too the audacity to penetrate the inclement root you call heart. Well, I had made my decision. and lo! I would have stood by it too; had my own form of insecurity been given the chance to wilt. Not further admonished on how to think. how to act How 'one' should primarily be. Instead I lie bludgeoned, berated; and by the very thing that antecedently spurred   a cascade of unsophisticated giddiness. That too was far from the cry of a Devil-may-care persona. I would almost weep the lost opportunity,   Whereas I should simply, and most ardently Just be.
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Sep 10, 2018
Sep 10, 2018 at 1:56 AM UTC
An ode to this one impression, savagely snuffed before its prime.
Bleed me dry Take all that remains Carry my corpse And take the burden of my shames An empty shell of what used to be So beautiful but so damaged was she Never would have that we would be I needed you more than words can describe My everything, my eternal lullaby Quietly rearranging the pieces of me Never causing commotion Only bringing out emotions never before seen Tainted, touched Your distress equated to my lust Armed with your pain Slicing and dicing hoping to never hit a vein Your words evaded, while my mind corroded Slowly dipping into insanity Please please don't take me Pleading for a retrieve I only wanted you to receive All of the pent up love Inside of me, just waiting to be released I deemed you worthy of it all Now we tumble as we both take the fall Graceful we are not Both of us ****** up from the start Bleak and diseased does our love grow Two bludgeoned bodies trying to make it through I promised I would never leave you Only to be deceived by you You understand my pain and yet here we are I'm ending up with even more scars While you look on from afar But it's okay because I was already dead anyway
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Nov 11, 2012
Nov 11, 2012 at 8:22 PM UTC
Bleed
Solely roaming, Solely flowing, Slowly transcending, Slowly ascending. Where do those pretty wings belong? On the sides of skulls. Lifting our mind state, Leading us To the land of winged skulls. There's a brain in a bowl who says so. Only drifting Behind gates with thee, Receiving symbols. Your eyes dilate, Someone's head is hung over, Bludgeoned by stones. There's a brain in a bowl that says so. Where do those pretty wings belong? On the sides of skulls, Lifting your mind state, Leading you To the land of winged skulls. There's a brain in a bowl that says so. (c) 2014 Brandon Antonio Smith (Originally written 10/27/10 Revised 9/27/14)
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Oct 2, 2014
Oct 2, 2014 at 3:02 PM UTC
Winged Skulls
I don't recall the moment responsibility grew arms hugging with gnarled fingers, while burdened skies wrap like a promise, with its soft tenor of lies and seduction. Disowned, I remember the drunk old lady who hung over my shoulders puking responsibility, as if to discharge toxic waste on a pre-mature baby struggling in labor, while death chokes the innocent, lost in love's knowledge. She could have warned me, even better, ridiculed me rather than put my head on a bludgeoned block allowing me to become a scapegoat for all the past, present and future mistakes: Some, of which was manufactured in threads of innuendo by off-loaders. These bones of mine are exposed in the twilight of their naked prejudice, and 'I swear I could hear clouds' curse my name, chanting wrath, creating chaos through veins of pride, before darkness fell feasting off my flames. There is nothing like hollow skeletons of the dead rustling around in graveyards alone. I stopped to think despite efforts of going solo; how I miss the stony silence of that skull, bent with anger seeking solace from my venomous touch. It would be a blessing to retreat into silent reveries where I am alone, I am alive, the dead are no more, to wrestle ghosts with words spoken into the heavens asking, "is there enough forgiveness left for me?" I don't want to remember her dead face, how it looked when her neck snapped while life drained from her stiffened eyes. I want the abstracts of my life to fit. So, I howl upon her bitter pill - release me... 7/11/2012
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Nov 6, 2012
Nov 6, 2012 at 3:46 PM UTC
Beautiful Imperfections
I don't recall the moment responsibility grew arms hugging with gnarled fingers, while burdened skies wrap like a promise, with its soft tenor of lies and seduction. Disowned, I remember the drunk old lady who hung over my shoulders puking responsibility, as if to discharge toxic waste on a pre-mature baby struggling in labor, while death chokes the innocent, lost in love's knowledge. She could have warned me, even better, ridiculed me rather than put my head on a bludgeoned block allowing me to become a scapegoat for all the past, present and future mistakes: Some, of which was manufactured in threads of innuendo by off-loaders. These bones of mine are exposed in the twilight of their naked prejudice, and 'I swear I could hear clouds' curse my name, chanting wrath, creating chaos through veins of pride, before darkness fell feasting off my flames. There is nothing like hollow skeletons of the dead rustling around in graveyards alone. I stopped to think despite efforts of going solo; how I miss the stony silence of that skull, bent with anger seeking solace from my venomous touch. It would be a blessing to retreat into silent reveries where I am alone, I am alive, the dead are no more, to wrestle ghosts with words spoken into the heavens asking, "is there enough forgiveness left for me?" I don't want to remember her dead face, how it looked when her neck snapped while life drained from her stiffened eyes. I want the abstracts of my life to fit. So, I howl upon her bitter pill - release me... 7/11/2012
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29
Can you outrun the history Of violence and oppression If you felt every inch of terror That was birthed from the bombs Every bit of anguish and loss If you paid the same wages of war Then maybe you to would see The inhumanity of drones If your stomach growled With a pain so deep And you could not sleep Because of the fears you keep Maybe you would not stand For this poverty If every bullet hole Cut partly into your skin Leaving painful impressions If the nightsticks bludgeoned Your beloved And you watched your oppressors Armor up for in house war Maybe you would abhor Police brutality If the circle of kinship Surrounded more than just this Small social club you claim Then maybe the pain Of others would touch you Something as of late It has failed to do Maybe you could use A little empathy
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Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 3:12 PM UTC
Get Some Empathy
*It's been going on three years now, It gets worse and I talk about it less. Three years of swimming upstream In a river of cognitive stress. I don't recall what it's like To feel rested after a restful night. I don't remember not feeling high Simply because all of the lights are too bright. Friends presume that all is well But it hinders me every day. It is a dim room with stagnant air. Grey clouds that never change. I can't keep up anymore, It's far too much of a strain, Ever since the incident long ago That bludgeoned and blunted my brain. I trudge through every day Shoes weighted with lead. It feels like a dream Because it's all in my head.*
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Aug 12, 2016
Aug 12, 2016 at 6:58 PM UTC
Post Concussion Syndrome
if only emotional abuse scarred my skin the way physical abuse did, because maybe then you'd see that your words and your demeanor are the reason why you say i have issues with channeling my anger maybe if your screams bludgeoned my skin the way a punch would destroy the filaments under my tender flesh, you'd notice how much you're hurting me and it scares me that you can't even see what you're doing it scares me that one day i'll be one scream away from erratically fainting to my demise, falling effortlessly to the floor, heart still beating in my chest and brain activity picking up faster than ever before it scares me that you're not scared your words are like knives carving my organs with cynical words "worthless" is inscribed through the hemispheres of my brain "damaged" is engraved into my lungs i can't breathe and im beginning to not feel anything anymore
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Jul 30, 2016
Jul 30, 2016 at 1:30 PM UTC
how much longer can my body endure relentless abuse
I shaved away the edges until there was nothing left, but a dream of what could have been, and so with frustration i accepted the jagged. A common law of common flaws, as my face morphs into mask. I still wonder, when it all will collide, building up inside ... So much. Too much. Electrified in the the allure of my ruthless retorts, as i struggle in futile resistance to the inevitable. The feeling is incredible, when you let all just go. As it gently flows from the empathy into ecstasy, learning to love thy enemy, even as they are metaphorically stabbing me in the back. Euphorically to react to the sensations in my lap when shes next to me. Hexing me in a shellacking smack to my mannerisms Her summer dress to address my cynicism, as it flows back from whence it came. Detained in her image. Restrained, in questioned worth. Worth a thousand words. Words never heard but seen in synesthesia. Synesthesia saving my amnesia from forgotten verbs that be-heave us, in forgetful stumbling of the loving mumblings before the kiss. The kiss dismissing the winded blue lips from the fumbled wits of love. Love drown the fires ablaze as it spirals away. Away from the journey. Journey of the uninterrupted. Uninterrupted in the hunting of my comforts. Comfort in the squiggled lines. Lines that pack a little comfort. Comfort in the blinds, as i sacrifice my obedience for a little bit of expedience on the smile that awaits, this toothless face. Bludgeoned stupid, as i pace at half mass, blinded in the tall grass of empty lands amassed in colors unseen with tunneled eyes that refuse to defy gravity. Gravity in your roads chosen. Chosen in the glow of abodes ablaze. Amazed in starlit eyes. Eyes to dream. Dream of better ways. Ways to clean the bad away. Away with my wayward words. Words observed in zero. Zeros the point in which i met her, blinded in the blur, as im pulled to her.
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Sep 2, 2012
Sep 2, 2012 at 6:08 PM UTC
(Its all goes out the window)
I shaved away the edges until there was nothing left, but a dream of what could have been, and so with frustration i accepted the jagged. A common law of common flaws, as my face morphs into mask. I still wonder, when it all will collide, building up inside ... So much. Too much. Electrified in the the allure of my ruthless retorts, as i struggle in futile resistance to the inevitable. The feeling is incredible, when you let all just go. As it gently flows from the empathy into ecstasy, learning to love thy enemy, even as they are metaphorically stabbing me in the back. Euphorically to react to the sensations in my lap when shes next to me. Hexing me in a shellacking smack to my mannerisms Her summer dress to address my cynicism, as it flows back from whence it came. Detained in her image. Restrained, in questioned worth. Worth a thousand words. Words never heard but seen in synesthesia. Synesthesia saving my amnesia from forgotten verbs that be-heave us, in forgetful stumbling of the loving mumblings before the kiss. The kiss dismissing the winded blue lips from the fumbled wits of love. Love drown the fires ablaze as it spirals away. Away from the journey. Journey of the uninterrupted. Uninterrupted in the hunting of my comforts. Comfort in the squiggled lines. Lines that pack a little comfort. Comfort in the blinds, as i sacrifice my obedience for a little bit of expedience on the smile that awaits, this toothless face. Bludgeoned stupid, as i pace at half mass, blinded in the tall grass of empty lands amassed in colors unseen with tunneled eyes that refuse to defy gravity. Gravity in your roads chosen. Chosen in the glow of abodes ablaze. Amazed in starlit eyes. Eyes to dream. Dream of better ways. Ways to clean the bad away. Away with my wayward words. Words observed in zero. Zeros the point in which i met her, blinded in the blur, as im pulled to her.
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34
past wavering lights B. Serrano and Bagong Ilog love struck us down — sees no votive clearing of the fog or a word sharper than any blade wrought from frays. i have a photograph of you somewhere in the ken of my silence and on it paints lightsome hue and sometimes pale when it rains. KM 24 on a blue alloy and underneath, a Baguio — some memories we keep almost left by the last carriage homeward from too much fire in our hands only tremors could extinguish both striking a balance and counterbalance; the frequency of the electric and the immense decibel of lions drowning the disquiet. some places or some looking back makes you want to lose yourself in slight wonder and when a memory comes back with the dreary weight of its forgetfulness, we fall asleep traipsing the steeples of our dreams of each other all-telling, still dizzy with the pirouette of some distant longing bracing the fall, triggering our darkness and shooting out ourselves, small, love striking us down. arraying a triplicate of hazy trails forking all roads and we cannot find each other again; throwing stones rippling multiplied waves by the sea arriving at separate mornings beneath our feet, bends on the bludgeoned curves of love and hate ascertaining something so unsure as a door agape and swiveling in tense wind, tender is the night and love continues to smite us down, locking in, predatory precision, running away, and away, and away from the ache of it all.
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Nov 3, 2015
Nov 3, 2015 at 7:11 AM UTC
Two Poems (Davao Blurs): (1) White Streets Photographed
On weekdays, privatised ******* trucks disguise our secret fascinations and shift the scraps of our failed dinners into piles of decomposing waste. Welcome to the city, there are buses on the hour. Better grab a seat before coffee stained tattoos covered by sweaty rags absorb up all the loneliness. Where do they all go to? Who eats all the bludgeoned bodies? Oh, book the saturated dinner table tonight. I feel like saturation. In the weekends, somatic mutations reveal themselves, for if I, speak, like, I can speak, then I am not speaking to anyone save for the flowers. Oh, so hurray, the garden blossoms again! But I mean, in the end, I maintain I am writhing like a centipede in a dryer, tumbling between hot air, screaming “Help me! Help me! Where has the humanity gone? I cannot even capitalise first names! You must forgive my lack of morals!” “Hello” “I am here!” “Hello?” “I am here!” “Hello!” “I am here!”
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Jan 26, 2013
Jan 26, 2013 at 8:20 PM UTC
Weekday observations
**Chasing cheaters cursed to be caught. Willfully writing words you've wrought.** *I'm not angry. If it shows. But then again. Who knows?* A bludgeoned heart that beats no longer. Dare I describe the cause? Standing there with white thread soaked in a ****** pause. I guess I know where it all went, because my heart has none. If it were a cost I'd write it off. If it were hours labored they'd be lost. If it were words given in confidence id give into the embarrassment. But my heart rewired its self before you cut the strings and now I'm bent like a slinky with 5 ends that lead no where. I have this image of an unrecognisable figure standing proud. Dressed in my hope and wrapped in my desire. She wears my dress and he will never know. If I keep my tongue tight. Their love might just grow.
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Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 12:19 PM UTC
Pure Unlike A White Dress
Among the silent, thunderous halls of the mind, there are pathways one should seldom roam, for, often, the bitterest of fruit grows between the walls of an intricate cognitive labyrinth. Still... I walk the very walkways that will either lead me to complete self-destruction or to enlightenment and divinity. I walk quietly, tiptoeing around certain memories, so as not to awaken them from their slumber, and incur their wrath. I walk on glass footsteps, as the shards make their way in through broken arches, in search of a place to call home, among the ruins of a broken spirit and a bludgeoned, weeping heart. Such is love and life and the ever present shadow of remembrance, and still I walk, leaving scarlet footprints along the way... to remember where I've been. -by Mercurychyld Copyrights
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Aug 20, 2014
Aug 20, 2014 at 8:17 PM UTC
AS YOU FOUND ME
The mind has gone AWOL Armageddon in the blood crimson gargantuan sky Black stars from the depth of vacant eyes Oil rains down in sightless desert heat The last cigarette inhaled before the bomb detonates Fortunate sons in the era of friendly fire Rivals hunt metropolis streets to acquire a living Anonymous crypts get lost in the politics Seen convicted through bludgeoned eyes Honored my name with a plaque on a wall Documentation of civil declaration Conformity inspired figurehead of a homeland Bricks leading up to the footsteps of the Whitehouse
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Apr 24, 2011
Apr 24, 2011 at 10:05 AM UTC
Emancipation Of Diplomatic Conspiracies
The thrumming clunk of shocked wheels Eat up road worn smooth by big junking beasts Smoking up crisp air Hungry for a taste of stunted freedom The rush of wind the pained panels Pulling a mass of curls with sticky cold fingers Raking across my scalp Shaking in the silence In wake of thought The bass drum barking out a numbing melody Sliding like thin blade into the back of my mind Enhancing melodramatic mood Touching my tender heart Fresh from the lash of lonely Bludgeoned by the deadpan distance between My soul Snack sized bit of flesh clinging to the slick walls Of reason Hammering in my chest Still riddled with the mark of your claiming The imprint of my nails still bleeding In refusal But claim it you did Snatched it up out of my chest Trailing arteries and the copper stench of blood Empty cavity Filling up with dreams and the sweet taste of your breath Leeching into my limbs and whispering love into my being But this road is ceaseless No matter how many times I visit That long stretch of highway Promising me the Spector of your memory The ghost of your touch Warmth of love Acceptance Renewal of my existence The green glint of freeway sign Showing me where I would have found you Down that dirt road Swing hair pin turns hearing your laughter as it chases me closer to where you should be Were you will always belong Where I could have found you had life been kind Your savage dissection of my soul keeps me yearning Reaching out and grasping my independence hostage Where you have become a necessity to whom I am What I am And who I will be Hinges on your well being Fading into nothing Where I am defined by you My angularity is tethered down But the road yields no answer Only the Spector The sad shadow of memories that refuse to fade Die instead of rotting At least with death it can be buried Living with the death of my heart A tragedy I would not allow to part
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Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 6:40 PM UTC
Zombie
The thrumming clunk of shocked wheels Eat up road worn smooth by big junking beasts Smoking up crisp air Hungry for a taste of stunted freedom The rush of wind the pained panels Pulling a mass of curls with sticky cold fingers Raking across my scalp Shaking in the silence In wake of thought The bass drum barking out a numbing melody Sliding like thin blade into the back of my mind Enhancing melodramatic mood Touching my tender heart Fresh from the lash of lonely Bludgeoned by the deadpan distance between My soul Snack sized bit of flesh clinging to the slick walls Of reason Hammering in my chest Still riddled with the mark of your claiming The imprint of my nails still bleeding In refusal But claim it you did Snatched it up out of my chest Trailing arteries and the copper stench of blood Empty cavity Filling up with dreams and the sweet taste of your breath Leeching into my limbs and whispering love into my being But this road is ceaseless No matter how many times I visit That long stretch of highway Promising me the Spector of your memory The ghost of your touch Warmth of love Acceptance Renewal of my existence The green glint of freeway sign Showing me where I would have found you Down that dirt road Swing hair pin turns hearing your laughter as it chases me closer to where you should be Were you will always belong Where I could have found you had life been kind Your savage dissection of my soul keeps me yearning Reaching out and grasping my independence hostage Where you have become a necessity to whom I am What I am And who I will be Hinges on your well being Fading into nothing Where I am defined by you My angularity is tethered down But the road yields no answer Only the Spector The sad shadow of memories that refuse to fade Die instead of rotting At least with death it can be buried Living with the death of my heart A tragedy I would not allow to part
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Longing the curse of Human Satisfaction I clear my throat Remembering the madness of a storming boat The whipping winds Introduced a chaos That infinity even had to question Correcting confidences like a teacher would the troublemaker Insanity rides high, Protecting itself from women That they thought they knew at the time But soon discovered They wouldn't even lend'em a dime I lost track of something way back when But now see that I was never young Just not strong enough to grip the gun Forgetful through shallow puddles of dampening and soggy Love I try to structure these thoughts But only produce Ashy white doves For the fire inside all of us is burning hard and eternal There is no hope that can forever float So in these times after alabaster marble shiners And politicians pinching pennies naked in front of camera's A policemen whispers to a friend he hates the leader And soon is bludgeoned and branded a freak Forever dead dreams in a child's mind is the place I wish to be Away from the hanging school halls Away from the broken bottle battalions A place directed towards indirectness Where mystery lightly grips its boot heels Ready to flee at any chance given to thee Startling laughter rests in the ears of men un-hearing Obsessed pig tail wearing women Upset the gifted girl a la two first names Swinging herself madly and wildly With words she herself cannot even understand or control But Oh the traces of mastery and genius with clouded perceptions Of shadows contemplating Aristotle easily For the barman is asking for the tab now And the lonesome nights I knew before Still await me once again As the same dead knights rest in books On high ancient shelves In dusty far away nooks
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Feb 27, 2011
Feb 27, 2011 at 11:34 AM UTC
Infinity
Longing the curse of Human Satisfaction I clear my throat Remembering the madness of a storming boat The whipping winds Introduced a chaos That infinity even had to question Correcting confidences like a teacher would the troublemaker Insanity rides high, Protecting itself from women That they thought they knew at the time But soon discovered They wouldn't even lend'em a dime I lost track of something way back when But now see that I was never young Just not strong enough to grip the gun Forgetful through shallow puddles of dampening and soggy Love I try to structure these thoughts But only produce Ashy white doves For the fire inside all of us is burning hard and eternal There is no hope that can forever float So in these times after alabaster marble shiners And politicians pinching pennies naked in front of camera's A policemen whispers to a friend he hates the leader And soon is bludgeoned and branded a freak Forever dead dreams in a child's mind is the place I wish to be Away from the hanging school halls Away from the broken bottle battalions A place directed towards indirectness Where mystery lightly grips its boot heels Ready to flee at any chance given to thee Startling laughter rests in the ears of men un-hearing Obsessed pig tail wearing women Upset the gifted girl a la two first names Swinging herself madly and wildly With words she herself cannot even understand or control But Oh the traces of mastery and genius with clouded perceptions Of shadows contemplating Aristotle easily For the barman is asking for the tab now And the lonesome nights I knew before Still await me once again As the same dead knights rest in books On high ancient shelves In dusty far away nooks
Continue reading...
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