most days i'm fine.
i can function like a normal human being.
i can finish my work in a normal amount of time.
i can operate at a normal frequency, or even at a higher one.
i can laugh and joke and keep up with conversations.
i flow easily.
some days i'm not.
i can't think through the fog that clouds my mind.
i can't keep up with the joke, or i laugh a beat too late.
i can't control my emotions and end up blowing up at someone.
i can't keep my hands from shaking and my words from stumbling over themselves.
i am ice with rough edges that crashes against itself.
i am alone
i am struggling
i am unfixable.
Living with a TBI is the hardest thing a person can go through, but the aftermath is the true test of resilience and strength.
It's been going on three years now,
It gets worse and I talk about it less.
Three years of swimming upstream
In a river of cognitive stress.
I don't recall what it's like
To feel rested after a restful night.
I don't remember not feeling high
Simply because all of the lights are too bright.
Friends presume that all is well
But it hinders me every day.
It is a dim room with stagnant air.
Grey clouds that never change.
I can't keep up anymore,
It's far too much of a strain,
Ever since the incident long ago
That bludgeoned and blunted my brain.
I trudge through every day
Shoes weighted with lead.
It feels like a dream
Because it's all in my head.
— The End —