Paint a bitter picture
with a letter full of truth.
Let it be offensive.
Let it be uncouth.
Even if it hurts me
Have your feelings be outpoured
because I'd rather be
rejected
than to simply be
ignored.

I see my hands,
   They’re disappearing,
        And my arms,
             They’re turning clear.
                    My legs are fading slowly.
                               Before I know it,
                                         I’m not here.

                                       I try to shout,
                                  But hear no bellow.
                                      I try to scream,
                                       But not a cry.
                                        My being is
                                        i n v i s i b l e
                               And I have no idea why.

                                                           ­                        No one else
                                                                ­   Seems to see me.
                                                             ­                     And no one else
                                                            ­       Seems to care.
                                                           ­  The people who are near me
                                                              ­    Walk through me like I’m
                                                                ­                     a   i   r.

                                        How I’ve left
                                     Is but a mystery.
                                       Why I’ve left
                                      I do not know.
                   The main question on my mind is

                   where
                                   did
                                                  I
                                                             go?

You're supposed to feel stupid now
Crying out of pain
Single with a lonely heart
Or dating someone plain
But now I see you with this girl
With whom I can't compete
Smiling like you're happy now
As if you feel complete
Forgive me for my bitterness,
The daggers in my eyes
But I realize all your hopeful words
Were just conveying lies
See, you once would call me beautiful
And after me you chased
Then you dumped me, left me all alone
And now I've been replaced?

I have myself convinced
that my heart
has a limited amount
of repairs.
That after the seventh time
it is broken,
there will be no way
to fix it.
I don’t trust
its durability.
But I am the owner
and the repairman.
And if I say it will get fixed,
it will get fixed.
Lifetime guaranteed.

You're the scar
that everyone insists on
rubbing their finger in.
"Oops,"
they say as the blood starts
oozing again.

Then they leave me to
nurse my own wound.

I was never intended
To be toxic waste,
The girl spewing
Venom
With her words,
Acid dripping
From the corners of her mouth,
Living, breathing
Destruction.
So please don't share that fire with me.
Get it out of my face
And away from my lungs.
I don’t want your fumes
To poison me.

You keep on running back to me,
You sneak into my skin,
Banging on my frail bones, shouting
“Please let me come in!”
I try to keep the blinds closed
And pretend that I’m not here,
But you wait until I yield to you
Before you disappear.

Yesterday, I cried.
Today I’m feeling somber,
But somewhere in the tomorrows
I’ll be smiling again.

Someone please take me to Dreamland.
Put me on the fastest flight,
'Cause while you slept and slumbered sweetly,
I was wide awake all night.
So if you know the way to Dreamland,
Put the address in my brain,
So I can journey on to find it,
Somewhere where my world is sane.

In the end,
You didn’t choose me,
And for that
I simply say
Thank you.

I could put make up on my face
wear perfume scents that linger
short skirts high on my thighs
have you wrapped around my finger
give you every single ounce of me
share with you all my stuff
And yet somehow always know
that I’ll never be enough

He walks around with a piece of me
And I doubt he even knows
That he carries a fragment of my heart
Wherever it is he goes.
I just wonder if he felt its thump
Or heard its tiny beat
If he’d return it to me carefully
So that I could feel
Complete

I’m not weak enough
To keep myself here
In order to feel the absence
Of absence.

He can’t stand to love,
Yet he can’t stand to hate,
Afraid of exposure,
Its vulnerable weight.
So he builds up his walls,
To protect him from feeling,
Covering old wounds,
Which keeps them from healing.
And she sees he’s guarded,
Yet tries to unveil
The past he is hiding,
His secrets to tell,
Hating his walls,
But she can’t tear them down.
Wherever she is,
He just builds them around.

Somewhere there are stars
Even when they're out of sight.
They are shining in the Heavens
Making radiating light.
So even when it's cloudy
Or the world is feeling grey,
Remember somewhere there are stars
That can brighten up your day.

It was a beautiful moment
Of dissatisfaction.
One where she realized
Complacency
Does not equate
With serenity.
That stagnancy
Does not yield joy.
So she moved,
Not only her feet.
She moved mountains.
The earth quaked beneath her,
And flowers bloomed
In every crack.
And this,
She thought,
THIS is how it feels
To be alive