Enclosed mind is messing up
the emotional wires
entangled between love and not love
ambitions, expectations and happiness
victim of brain as well as heart.
Once you have loved
love will never leave you.
Between right and wrong
the true and false,
my heart is falling apart
ripping my brain off,
losing soul, blood and pain
making me all numb.
How hard I am trying
to remain in the box
but mixed emotions
making a curry like a medicine
intended to cure me
but instead making me sick.
I am somewhere in between
love and not so love
giving up and holding in
between life and not living.

As if I don't know what it means to be alone
As if I don't know the feeling when I had it all
As if I don't know the warmth of hug in chilly mornings
As if I don't know the talks we had with no meanings.
As if I don't know waking up besides a smiling face
As if I don't know the tiring of breathing race

I know every bit of being two bodies but one soul
But what if he moved on and left me behind all sore.
As if I don't know how it feels to be alone
How does it feel to wait for long gone
But I don't want a life boat to survive
I want my cruise ship to sail through life
Love has left me without giving reasons
But I will look on till I find the one in a perfect season.

I still remember the day
sitting idle in the lab mundane
Smell of acid although causing pain
But i was still taking in,
like a toxic gain.
And then she came in
like a soft gush of wind
sat beside me
saw me all strained.
I asked
why people leave
without giving reason
and I poured my heart out
like a kid with a toy broken.
I was inconsolable
as if I saw death of a closed one.
and that closed one was my heart
deep inside it was fallen apart.
And then she told
me a hard truth
how she loved her mom
who left part way
without witnessing her triumphs
her chosen love and all fame .
How she all wanted was to gift her a saree
and take her to a restaurant to feast fancily.
I looked into her eyes
and she into mine
we both lost a part
of our hearts
and we together washed away
the pains filled deep inside
I was crying over a lost love
and she over a lost soul
and I wondered
whether my pain was even worth despair
we walked through our pain
while finding life all regained.

For a moment
I took a leap into the real world
to make connections
feeling affection
but soon enough
felt afloat
on superficial sea of emotions
I ran back to find solace
in the erratic lines
of poetry.
Neither life is straight
nor my poems
but at least I can see
my true reflections
in the poetic aberrations.

Pressure can make,
a diamond out of coal
but often, takes out the fun
from the journey of the goal

Do you think
It is fate
that I didn't
Succeeded.
It is ME
who decided
not to be committed
when it was most needed.
So I don't blame
my innocuous fate
for the fall on the face.

I still dream about the dreams
I used to dream.

I need not say,
because I look in every way
perfectly imperfect.

I say things which I don't mean
and I don't say those I truly mean
I am still in the making
wobbling with words
learning to handle pain
trying to balance my heart
amidst breaking and surviving

I am not striving for perfection
because that is not my intention
I am messed up,
Insanely sane
a puzzled game
unbecoming who I am
again & again.

All it takes is to start.
To open a notebook
To pick up a pen
To read the first line
Trying hard as you can
To let go that mobile
To look at the page's pile
To stop staring the clock
Shaking brain to unlock
The anxiety, to clear
Pacing up and down in fear.
Always feeling left behind
Fear of failure creeping the mind.
Then you stop and shout aloud
I'll not quit and make myself proud
Because all it takes is to start
And I'll finish, I cross my heart.

Don't know if I am too weak
or too **** stark,
to not feel hatred against
the one who broke my heart.

There is Me
and there is Another Me.
Another Me is superior to Me
But it is Me,
Who wants Another me
to be superior to Me.
To feel highly
To achieve overtly
Look gracefully
Speak commanding
Be loved deeply
Head held high
In the runs of society
But Another Me
is pushing Me
To feel lowly of myself
Because Me is simply
Happy in even less than
Worldly.
Me cannot be Me
If trying to be Another Me
and Another Me won't leave Me
until she becomes supremely
Torn between these two
is only ME.

I have a broken record
hidden in my closet
and I often play it
whenever unescorted.
The lyrics intimate
the last time we meet
speaks in the manner
you used to flatter.
The music lingers on
like the scent of your shirt
I hold on,
Your love song
keeps me warm
in the dark windy nights.
The nights we forgot
near those bonfire sights.
The sun rises everyday
and it sets all fine
but the fainting rays remind
of the love we had divine.

The thousand words
which I never said
will ring your ears
for thousand years.

You come and go like changing seasons
hot flush in summers, cold like winters.
you come and go without giving reasons
and I always wait for you at dinners.
And in this game of waiting and meeting
my heart goes fragile and soul withers
Memories are vague, just moving figures  
My eyes are little foggy nothing sees clear
you still come and go but I long disappeared.

If I could've a wish right now
I would wish for a big lush tree
have a big strawberry candy
underneath its shade think all day
"that cloud looks so like a sundae".

I am alive
even without you.
When you are not around
air seems the same fresh,
flowers are vibrant than before,
firmament is clear, cottony soft clouds.
Same chuckling with friends in the bar,
food tastes yum when I am starved.
Long evening walks are little alone
dark nights seem a little long
sleep troubles to come nearby
trail of thoughts from the day long
refuses to go away,
I don't think of you much now,
but whenever,
your thought flashes my mind
it feels like something is left behind,
not everything is same
life is going in vain.
Our fights, kisses and hugs are gone
and I am standing just alone.

Always find the best in you
Life has not ended
yet, it has just started.
There is a constant struggle everyday,
to stand up from the sleep
Each day a battle is fought
by the night you see defeat.
But do not believe,
that it will end some day.
It will go on and on and on
until you learn to fight back
and win, finally .
Because we are slated to win
eventually
That's why it repeats everyday
struggle is real,
like a slotted game plan.