The pain inside
I try to hide
And run away
To my dismay
I can not move
To much to prove
But my hearts been broken
I just need to feel awoken
Such a strong mind
So weak so blind
Scared to take a step
As darkness slowly crept
Into my mind into my heart
Made people who feel so close
Seem worlds apart
My heart has froze
I'm not feeling smart
I know it's not the end
So I try to pretend
That I'll be fine
I'll remember how to shine
But i look into the dark
I wanna just bark
Or scream in fear
I'm not really clear
I just want to run
But yet again I'm stuck
This isn't fun
It's just my luck

I am my own worst nightmare. And my own incredible dream. I am what I was and what I will be. I am every mistake I've made and every success. I am not one thing I am many incredible and horrible things all messed up into one. <3 really so are you

She says
"Emotions ready to crack from its hard shell prison, my weak beating heart; it is as quiet as an empty hospital bed, all sound stolen from death, but I can't stop this earthquake my chest is having. Shaking and trembling. I have to hold my rib cage in an locked embrace so tight that my bones start to crack and wither into nothing but it's collapse. But my heart is wrapped in barb wire, no one would pick it up from the ruins of my disaster

He says
What comes next is the surprise
Where this soul comes along
makes you realize
That no matter the wire
The heat is worth the fight
Even if that wire is covered in fire
this soul will tear them off
bring you light
To make you heal
Maybe be okay again to feel ❤

Verbally I'm at a loss
Mentally I'm so lost
I can't know what to do
But I'm not lost, cause of you
I'm lost now cause I realize the truth
That moving on Is what I need for proof
I am understanding who I am
Know that I was just in a jam
Moving on and proving I can
Now you ask what is my plan
I can't say I know
But answering you that way makes me glow
This time I'm not worried about planning
Or even staying
Still
I feel
That If I can be happy no plans will be made
I realize I don't have to parade
Around my feelings
To give my life meaning
I am happy to be me
This is the feeling of being free

I'm done it's over
No more no less
I'm done with this touture, distress
Stomach so nauseous
My mind so vicious
I can't do much more
It really won't be long before
I'm out that door
Or is that a metaphor
I really dont care anymore
My life's a *****
Lending my heart
My life my part
And nothing but pain
Nothing remains
My core is all gone
No strength to take on
This world
My head spins it's twirled
I'm weak a dieing clover
I'm done its over

Inside me was beleif
But was destroyed my mischief
I'm all gone from this life
Would I take it with a knife
To my throat
Maybe if I drowned I might float
Who cares anymore
I'm down on the floor
No more helping hands
All I can see is empty lands
Hurt so hard
A fat piece of lard
A waste of space
A complete disgrace
To the whole human race
Time to find a new place
Who am I, what am I
A monster meant to die?
So hurt inside
I tried to hide
But is death the key
Maybe then I can be free

This is not a poem
This is a statement
Until recently I loved others the way
I wanted to be loved
I've learned that I need to love me
How I want to be loved
And learn how others want to be loved
To love them the way they
Want to be
<3

As death Knocks on my door
I can feel my face hit te floor
I don't know anymore
Don't care about rich or poor
Knowing my heart
Slowing an tearing apart
Pain inside
So many times I'd hide
But now I'm done
No more fun
Just a feeling so scared
Something I've never feared
Something I thought I wanted
And now my mind is haunted...
I don't want to leave
So much I'd like to achieve
But in that last moment there's peace
A vacant mind no tenant no lease
My life is done
But something else has begun