In minds absence
My soul is conscious
So hard to divide
From myself what I hide
And what I let out
So full of doubt
Heads spinning round
Hearts beating harder
Pound for pound
Never bringing me and farther
Now where have I gone
If I've only gone alone
A fear deep inside
Disgused by my pride
Never tried hard enough
Feeling my life has gotten to tough
What's the proof to you
The thing that makes you love you
It's a loss to me
What people think they see
That's only the passion
The thing that comes and goes like fashion
Now how to let go
And bring new sorta flow...

My love
My soul
She's a dove
Her beauty it stole
Attention
Her soul brang
Compassion
Understanding me would be hard
Cause my souls felt so chard
Her eyes opened my mind
Something I truly couldn't find
It's hard to believe
That's she would retrieve
My broken heart
So torn apart
With fear of the darkness
You brought the light
The light princess
Sent to make things right
It's funny you see
Cause that's only to me
She sees herself quite dark
But the truth is what I see
What she holds on the outside is only bark
When our souls meet I feel the fire
Truly this is how love would conspire
From broken souls mended
Souls no longer pretended
Our hearts and souls
Now ours to grow
Our garden of flow

She says
"Emotions ready to crack from its hard shell prison, my weak beating heart; it is as quiet as an empty hospital bed, all sound stolen from death, but I can't stop this earthquake my chest is having. Shaking and trembling. I have to hold my rib cage in an locked embrace so tight that my bones start to crack and wither into nothing but it's collapse. But my heart is wrapped in barb wire, no one would pick it up from the ruins of my disaster

He says
What comes next is the surprise
Where this soul comes along
makes you realize
That no matter the wire
The heat is worth the fight
Even if that wire is covered in fire
this soul will tear them off
bring you light
To make you heal
Maybe be okay again to feel ❤

As I feel the heartbeat through my body a constant reminder of an inner hobby a thing that makes me a person maybe not so free a constant relief of tension to redirect the emotion to bring distraction to a constant reminder that your not here all it's ever done is endive fear who am I to turn away run again who am I to leave again to bring myself to run free again who am I to just give up and leave behind a whole life of love who are you to walk away leave me here for another day I can believe that I'll stay when I just wanna run away to my dismay you run away so far away to leave behind what I am but why I tried I cared I cried for you to see what inside me... But not enough I must grow tough to run away and leave this place.... As tears come raining down my face

No matter how hard life can be
No matter how hard it gets to see
Don't give up in your dream
It's will show you life's not what it may seem
The only thing that really can
Show you life's something you cannot plan
Why oh why do we believe
That love is something that we achieve
The best things in life we will find
They will be the things that make us blind
Realize in this life you will come across
wondrous  things
You will find that love at first will feel like a loss
But in the end you'll see what it brings
This world is so beautiful

As death Knocks on my door
I can feel my face hit te floor
I don't know anymore
Don't care about rich or poor
Knowing my heart
Slowing an tearing apart
Pain inside
So many times I'd hide
But now I'm done
No more fun
Just a feeling so scared
Something I've never feared
Something I thought I wanted
And now my mind is haunted...
I don't want to leave
So much I'd like to achieve
But in that last moment there's peace
A vacant mind no tenant no lease
My life is done
But something else has begun

Instant mischief
They call me the beat chief
Making you all chant
Even well you got no breath you pant
Now what's next
Gonna make you feel my inner context
It's what's inside
That makes my heart burst with pride
It's how I've learned to flow
Turned me from intense to mellow
And now that I've gained control
I'm up here on patrol
The dance floors filling with bass
I promise you you'll feel it in your face!
Your feet going so crazy
There's no way you'll feel lazy
This is the roll call
All is present I've got them all
Never leavenin
Cause I'm a fiendin
For the evenin
The bass is my meanin
Let go of it all out of me to you
You may think I'm a fool
But I just love
To make you feel like your floating above
A beautiful cloud
Vibrating aloud

What's given
Can be taken
Life constantly mending
The rules that are continually bending
Our troubles from alarm
From people trained to bring harm
Now do we live to love
Find ways to rise above
Or cave into
The things we think we'd never do
Lose the things we came to be
Never knowing what we could truly see
Rough patches through the dark
Even though we've all been given an ark
Some choose to live that path
Living in a continual blood bath
Using hate to make us feel provin
Living a life that's not worth livin
It's easy to just give up
And get obsession and disrupt
But I beg of me come away
To shine on and shine today
I beg of you to do the same
Do not let the darkness bring you  shame
Move through life with a great light
Something that will eventually shine bright
I know it's hard when dark destroys
Trying to fool you with all it's mental ploys
But your are strong
You'll learn to prove life wrong
Or maybe right
Cause life could be bright
I say to you with great haste
make sure to go out and give life a taste
Cause it's worth the time
do not commit the crime
Stop abandoning your morals
And begain to remove your quarrels
Life will transcend
It's only around the bend
Don't give up I beg of you
They say couple people make it only a few
But I believe if we all really tried
That everyone will make it before they all have gone and died
So I say to you be the ones who tried
And give up the  you who once lied

Just a kiss... To make me calm
just a punch to make me wrong
hit me once the open palm.
My mind confused for so long.    
Finding solutions that didn't change.       
 Now it's time to rearrange        
All the things to make my life  
Ups and downs a constant ride
cut my heart with a knife
Tear it hard until I died.  
Wish to god I never lied        
From a kiss to a punch what a ride...

I'm done it's over
No more no less
I'm done with this touture, distress
Stomach so nauseous
My mind so vicious
I can't do much more
It really won't be long before
I'm out that door
Or is that a metaphor
I really dont care anymore
My life's a *****
Lending my heart
My life my part
And nothing but pain
Nothing remains
My core is all gone
No strength to take on
This world
My head spins it's twirled
I'm weak a dieing clover
I'm done its over

Inside me was beleif
But was destroyed my mischief
I'm all gone from this life
Would I take it with a knife
To my throat
Maybe if I drowned I might float
Who cares anymore
I'm down on the floor
No more helping hands
All I can see is empty lands
Hurt so hard
A fat piece of lard
A waste of space
A complete disgrace
To the whole human race
Time to find a new place
Who am I, what am I
A monster meant to die?
So hurt inside
I tried to hide
But is death the key
Maybe then I can be free

The echo of your mistakes rippling like the wake of water from a single drop of rain. One after the other you see the pain. Knowing the things you did the things you said have brought you to now and now you see how

No longer lost
But at what cost
Future seems surreal
Hard to even finish a meal
Knowing your gone
Brings me here laying on the lawn
Don't know why
I can not cry
Pain so strong
I know it's wrong

No longer lost
But at what cost
I found what I needed
It made me grow my heart it feeded
The passion from inside
Was something that I could not hide
A beauty so deep
It's the only thing I think when I sleep
But gone she is now
She left she took a bow
To another stage
To another page

No longer lost
But at what cost
I've lost you now
But it's shown me how
To find away
To stand up without dismay
I may have lost
But I'm no longer lost
Because you showed me a way
To spend every single day
To live for me
And truly be free
Live so alive
And not deprive
Myself oh my love  
Now ill rise above

No longer lost
But a what cost
The cost is you
When I was with you I flew
When I lost you I almost died
That days an nights I may have cried
I thank you
Cause I worked on through
Because of the cost
I found my way I'm no longer lost

Maybe today is different
Maybe now is change
Maybe we can find hope
Maybe tomarrow will be the day
Maybe it will be the change we all can beleive in
Maybe if we try
Maybe if we don't give up
Maybe if we fight
Maybe today we stop trying
Maybe today we become
Maybe today we are one
I beleive we are one

Trying my best. Just isn't enough. Mental disease has got me all ****** up paranoia controlling my mind twists and turns make corners blind hat you say is life's intent to beat you up and leave you bent. Mistakes you make will never end so you go on living life trying to mend. Lessons learned the first time like your eye with a little squeak size of lime. But lessons learned over and over   ******* your brain like a hover now what to do live life healing you or me is that what makes me free from this disease oh please.... Help me

The pain inside
I try to hide
And run away
To my dismay
I can not move
To much to prove
But my hearts been broken
I just need to feel awoken
Such a strong mind
So weak so blind
Scared to take a step
As darkness slowly crept
Into my mind into my heart
Made people who feel so close
Seem worlds apart
My heart has froze
I'm not feeling smart
I know it's not the end
So I try to pretend
That I'll be fine
I'll remember how to shine
But i look into the dark
I wanna just bark
Or scream in fear
I'm not really clear
I just want to run
But yet again I'm stuck
This isn't fun
It's just my luck

Verbally I'm at a loss
Mentally I'm so lost
I can't know what to do
But I'm not lost, cause of you
I'm lost now cause I realize the truth
That moving on Is what I need for proof
I am understanding who I am
Know that I was just in a jam
Moving on and proving I can
Now you ask what is my plan
I can't say I know
But answering you that way makes me glow
This time I'm not worried about planning
Or even staying
Still
I feel
That If I can be happy no plans will be made
I realize I don't have to parade
Around my feelings
To give my life meaning
I am happy to be me
This is the feeling of being free

Tonight there's nothing                    
Look left look right                    
Nothing left in sight.                             
 My eyes so open very wide.                
But everything,everyone is left to hide.                                                      
Cause­ from inside I found.                 
 It's the punches we take pound for pound.                                                    
  That­ eventually leave us bruised and down.                                                          
B­ut now there's no one left to frown.                                         
 Nothingness an emotional wreck.                                        
As far as the eyes could see as far as your legs could treck.                        
Now what went wrong along the way                                        
Found someone else yesterday.      
Now all I am, all I was is left behind.                                        
Nothingness down roads we wind.                                              
But what we don't see.                            
Is nothingness is to be free.          
Believe in me                                          
now is what I see                                      
to make a change                      
Completely rearrange                        
Now I see.                                              
That this nothingness is a beginning to a new me....

This is not a poem
This is a statement
Until recently I loved others the way
I wanted to be loved
I've learned that I need to love me
How I want to be loved
And learn how others want to be loved
To love them the way they
Want to be
<3

Flow for the soul
Art for the heart
It's time for your mind to see
truly able to be free
Did you know that your influenced
By people you don't know
Would we continue to let people
Be the front runners of our species
Who just hate who just bring pain
Who lie and cheat for the only reason to get more rich more money more power. Is thius what life truly is. No this is not. I know you know this is the truth... It isn't some *******. Actors and story tellers amount te highest paid.... People who control social media are paid more then so many doctors... While hospitals. This makes no sense... How is it we let the industrial revoulutial and the birth of commercialism a ruin the human race. Not saying we were perfect at anytime... But like really there were people willing to give freedom and we sat by and let those people be pushed away even killed... This is why we need to stand tall talk about the issues the brain washing by mass media to tell you what you want what you need. We are human and we must learn to live together.

You know like many others I'd like to change the world
Like many people I'd like to mild minds and change vision
But truly that's just having control
It's not life it's not real
It's a reality like this that shows me
To live life not to change it
To understand change comes naturally
That if I move forward
Living true living life freely
That change will happen
This isn't some hope I have
This is real this is truth

Constant contemplation
Blind imagination
I've ben trying to make a transformation
Life only leading to frustration
Fighting threw felt pointless
The pain looking forward... Endless
Truly I thought
My gut all tied in knot
Truth was spoken
No longer will it be broken
A path to truth it seems
Push away the bad dreams
Next to be is free
I can live life being me
Wow what a concept
From what my mind had kept
Now my dreams come true
Mind free to do what it use to
No more torture
I can't wait for the future
Build a home
Travel to Rome
My mind can soar
Let out a roar
Finally me cause I can
Does it ever feel to be a new man

I am my own worst nightmare. And my own incredible dream. I am what I was and what I will be. I am every mistake I've made and every success. I am not one thing I am many incredible and horrible things all messed up into one. <3 really so are you