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2.4k · Sep 2017
It's Really Cute
Jonathan Sep 2017
When your nose wrinkles, it’s really cute,
The way it crinkles up when you pretend to be mad at me.

When your blue eyes roll, it’s really cute,
The  way they turn away when you think I’m annoying.

When your face flushes, it’s really cute,
the way it gets rosy when I call you princess.

When you dance as the record spins, it’s really cute,
The way the music makes you move with me.

When your sleepy eyes first open in the morning, it's really cute,
The way they look at me as I walk away to go to work.

When your lips move as you say I love you, It's really cute,
The way it makes me say I love you back.
962 · Jul 2017
After The Day
Jonathan Jul 2017
Hold still.
          Don't move.

Tell me I'm wrong.
          I will show you I'm right.

Soon the sun will rise.
          So we must lie down.

Away from the chaos.
          We have found peace.
604 · Oct 2020
Sunny Day
Jonathan Oct 2020
Sun lit
Eye slits

Sun slit
Eye lids

Sun sits
Eyes lit

Longing for the night
508 · Sep 2020
Whiskey Night
Jonathan Sep 2020
It was a whiskey night—
All nights were at this point.
It was the closest thing
He could bring to his lips
That even remotely felt like her.

As the sky turned from pink to black,
So did his thoughts.
As he drained the last glass,
He chased her into his dreams.
482 · Aug 2020
What I Can Give
Jonathan Aug 2020
In total,
I think I know nothing
                           Of you.
In part,
I think I know all
                  Of you.
Together,
I think is where I’ll start
                          With you.
425 · Oct 2020
But
Jonathan Oct 2020
But
If it is a dream
And not real,
Then I too,
Am a shadow
Behind closed eyes.
                                       But,
                                                   If it is reality
                                                   And true as the sun,
                                                   Then I too,
                                                   Am a glimmer
                                                   Behind eager eyes.
408 · Sep 2020
Time
Jonathan Sep 2020
I will be there,
As love precedes.

Though, I will impede—

As hate recedes,
I will be there.
389 · Sep 2020
The Chaos
Jonathan Sep 2020
The air gave us away,
Thin and frigid.
Motionless,
We sat,
Silent.
Behind our eyes,
The chaos,
Watered
Down,
Made seeing
Each other, impossible.
374 · Oct 2020
The Grown Up
Jonathan Oct 2020
His knuckles were knots.
Round, tight bunches,
Tied roughly, taught
By the lessons of men;
Who seem only to brutalize
The beauty of the body.

His heart was chiseled.
Stone in the stead of flesh,
Fixed to a function. Grounded,
Not in hope, but the kiln’s capture.
Heat, the blistering rage, resolved
In all the hand’s heartless work.

His mind was not his. Home;
A house of helplessness. Now,
The mental mutiny made know.
Year's of yearning for youth, only
To forfeit all faith of the future,
In exchange for hard truth.
332 · Sep 2020
Wellspring
Jonathan Sep 2020
To the wellspring
I ask,
“Where are you?”

As I pour out my last drops,
My last ounce to offer.
I give it willingly
To those who have forgotten the taste of water.
As I drain myself
Of all I have to share,
Now, I too join in thirst.

To the wellspring
I ask,
“Where are you?”
331 · Oct 2020
Night | Day
Jonathan Oct 2020
Dark dreams
                                                          ­    Smokey night
                                                           ­   Behind eyes
                                                            ­  This evening
                                                              I fight

Misty morning
Milky sky
Silver lining
One day
I die
324 · Sep 2020
Take Care
Jonathan Sep 2020
I will carve out a cave and leave them there,
Only with you, will I share.

What pieces I have left of my heart, you bear.
Do what you will, take care.
295 · Oct 2019
Clipped Wings
Jonathan Oct 2019
I fell on my face too many times that night.
Like a fool, with clipped wings,
Masquerading as a free bird.

I heard the cool crisp air ushering me to security, Guiding me by the dim light.
I took a leap of foolish faith in flight,
And landed on my *** in the middle of the night.

The air whispered sweetly around me and laughed in good fun; then leaned in to ask what I could not answer,
“Are you alright?”
277 · Sep 2020
A Year
Jonathan Sep 2020
A year that feels like ten.

A never ending road of broken glass.

With shredded feet and calloused progress,

We march on.
268 · Sep 2020
Sweat and Dust
Jonathan Sep 2020
As the dust settled on the dim-lit floor,
So did the bodies of two.

Neither side saught out a victory,
Both were content in just knowing.

As the last splinter of sunlight faded,
Sweat joined with the dust on the floor.

Movements and minds were molded,
As pieces of passion collided Into place.
267 · Oct 2020
We Dig
Jonathan Oct 2020
Is it blood or birth?
Too dark to tell.
Is it heathenism or hope?
Too dark to tell.
Is it faith or freedom?
Too dark to tell.

The night is now
Too dark to tell.
In the trenches, we dig
Our graves of friendship.
244 · Sep 2020
I Was
Jonathan Sep 2020
I was a bigot,
My body wrapped in red and white,
With blue eyes on stardom.

I was a saint,
Satan's servant with a Bible,
A man of God's war crimes.

I was a fundamentalist,
Funding mental lists of hate
With money stolen from the poor.

I was a colonist,
Carving out sacred land
For the benefit of my white body.

I was a misogynist,
Marking my territory like a dog,
******* on the other’s freedom.

I was an American,
A white straight man,
A brutal prodigy of the patriarchy.

I was
As he was,
A lineage that will be broken.
242 · May 2017
A Pack Of Blacks
Jonathan May 2017
A pack of blacks,
and she's in the front seat.
A pack of blacks,
and she slips off your spring-time dress.

Impressed him with her lazy gaze.
Impressed him with the pull to the backseat.
Lowly he sits with a restless mind,
Slowly she moved him with escaping time.

That dark night of smokey dreams,
Seemed to him they were free from forever.
Bound to her, he didn't care to fear,
In that still moment made, she drew near.

A pack of blacks,
And a conversation with her.
A pack of blacks,
and he was hers for sure.
236 · Aug 2020
Your Fair Darkness
Jonathan Aug 2020
I will embark
To share, in part,
The wonder of the moon.

Their dark side there
And just as fair,
Is forgotten in their light.  

Their shining face
Holds the gaze
Of wanderers alike.

But as for me,
I dare to see,
The beauty of their dark side.
228 · Aug 2020
Short Eternities
Jonathan Aug 2020
Tobacco and timidity
Silence and serenity
Whiskey and sublimity

—Forgotten pain

A straight-back chair
A cool breeze
A warm summer night
216 · May 2017
i will go with
Jonathan May 2017
she left a footprint
one that came with the past
one that was leaving for the future
one that keeps me in the present
206 · Apr 2018
Beautiful Refrain
Jonathan Apr 2018
How do you explain that beautiful refrain?

Moments passed by like a water spout insisting on yielding the smallest of drops.
She pressed her head against my chest and silence spoke.

Revoking the noise in her head, she sat insistent on incessant quiet.
Every part of her beamed with a need to speak; every part but her mouth that is.

How do you explain that beautiful refrain?

Dripping like the trickle of a silent stream,
Time crept by, demanding attention.
I swallowed before brushing her hair from her face.

Provoking the conversation, I questioned the still-ambient air waves she conducted.
Every part of me in discomfort by the unfamiliar silence that still sounded loud.

How do you explain that beautiful refrain?
203 · Jul 2017
Visiting
Jonathan Jul 2017
It's painful to revisit you,
You pull on my mind and make me quiver.

Shivering in a cold dark room-
Alone
With you.
190 · Sep 2020
Without
Jonathan Sep 2020
He pressed his nose up to a mirror—
No matter how close he got,
He still only saw who he could be.

He peered into a magnifying glass—
Looking longingly at his hands,
He still only saw who he wasn't holding.
185 · Oct 2019
Here In The Dark
Jonathan Oct 2019
Seconds now turn into moments.

My mind wonders through these torments.
A vast unexplored region of memories,
A blacked out map of possibilities.

Moments turn into many mistakes,
A blanket of cool air calming the stakes.

I think back to the seconds of haste,
A dream of brilliant light not gone to waste.


Here in the dark, on the precipice of pain

I stand.
183 · Sep 2020
Old and New
Jonathan Sep 2020
He looked him dead in the eyes.
In his dead eyes, he looked at him.

“You are not helping, you are hurting.
You are not helping because you are hurting.”

A son to a father, as old lessons are taught.
A father to a son, as new lessons are lost.
181 · Sep 2020
What Was Real
Jonathan Sep 2020
”I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
To a child who only knows life
And distant lessons of death.
A boy learning to builds walls
Out of plastic bricks—
Defending against feelings.

”I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
To the one who falls asleep
Next to the voiceless dog
As it's quiet breath whispers
Instinct and unknowing—
Young ears open to all things.

”I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
To the son who knows no difference.
Climbing to the tendriled top
Of his trusted tree friend.
Swaying in what was real—
Falling and the warm Midwest wind.
167 · May 2018
Roles Reverse
Jonathan May 2018
Some men swing hammers,
Some men shoot guns,
And some men sleep alone.

Vices bite like vipers,
Love lingers like night light.
But when roles reverse,
Men trade their habits for pain.

Integrity strips away,
When black and white runs gray,
Lines bleed, and pain stains.

Some men swing hammers,
Some men shoot guns,
And some men sleep alone.
152 · Sep 2017
Good Times
Jonathan Sep 2017
A few pieces of ice in the bottom of a glass;
I used to take it neat
but now I just want it to last.
139 · Oct 2020
Prayer and Pulp
Jonathan Oct 2020
If you want to sing your song of retribution,
Face me with your empty eyes wide open.
If you demand that I pay my full restitution,
I’ll give you my penance along with my sin.
I’m not here for your old, dead institution,
I don’t give a **** about the piety of your men.
If you really are the end-all-be-all resolution,
Then simply strike me down and take your win.
129 · Oct 2019
Gaze
Jonathan Oct 2019
Can I tell you something in confidence?
It felt good to be seen-
With confidence.
Confiding in a gaze-
Yours.
129 · Oct 2019
Smoke Signals
Jonathan Oct 2019
Nicotine in the bloodstream
And nothing in the heart.
Hands holding tight on this journal,
We’re light years apart.

I’ve stapled together old words about you
And I’m about to burn them all.
I’ll rub the coals on the sides of my house,
And watch for you as the timbers fall.

When it is just me and motionless memories
I’ll remember that forgotten day.
The one that fleets and flies bye,
When smoke signals couldn’t keep you away.

So cheers,
to the old and the new,
The broken and the blue,
The lonely and the few.
Cheers to you.
129 · Sep 2020
Gripping
Jonathan Sep 2020
My hands hold more wisdom than my brain.

It is true—

I knew it the moment I first held you.
#love #wisdom #friendship #thankful
122 · Oct 2020
Clouded Air
Jonathan Oct 2020
I won’t always be there
For you
For me
For the ever living sea
That rages behind your eyes
As the surf pulls me in
To you
To me
Towards your fierce plea
That wayward hand beckons
Through clouded air
For you
For me
I won’t always be there
113 · Oct 2020
Your Breath
Jonathan Oct 2020
I think of your breath,
As it would have sounded,
Grasping sterilized air, as you emerged.

The way it sounded in a crib,
An infantile gasp,
Facedown, not yet knowing how to sleep.

Short disgruntled huffs,
Learning to say so much with no words
As you pouted in petty defiance.

Hard panting in the gym,
As the teacher pushed the limits
Of your strong slender core.

I think of your breath,
The way it trails behind
Each pitch-perfect-note you sing.

As your hands shook
And your words left you alone,
Grasping anxiously at wind.

Like a message in a capped bottle,
The way your lungs expand
With breath that contemplates tender words.

The thick sweet moisture
That filled our paper-thin distance,
The first time you shared your lips.

I think of your breath,
As you sleep, with thoughts
Wild and unknown to me.

The tickling whisper
Of secret air shared
As you invite me in.

The hard and heavy sigh
That looms in the living room
When your day beats you down.

A trumpet of surprised sound
As laughter congregates,
Demanding you to inhale.

I think of your breath,
How familiar it will be  
When we are bed bound with our air tanks.
101 · Oct 2020
Mourning
Jonathan Oct 2020
The rain was my mourning,
As it sifted through the misty air,
Landing with purpose
On cracked cement.

Leather boots splashing
In the wake of fallen tears.
As if god could learn empathy
And cry with his fleshy maumets.
96 · Aug 2020
To Glimpse
Jonathan Aug 2020
They sat and smoked alone.
Thinking of nothing,
Because in silence,
Their eyes were open.
78 · Sep 2020
Lights Out
Jonathan Sep 2020
He stood naked in the doorway.
Night was dark enough to bite.

He stood alone for a moment.
Right then, his memories came to fight.

He stood with an empty bottle.
Lights out on him forever, goodnight.
73 · Aug 2020
All I See
Jonathan Aug 2020
If eyes were oceans,
I would not swim in yours.
To do so would starve me of reality.

Time would be no more—

Dreams would be

All I see.
72 · Nov 2020
S.A.D
Jonathan Nov 2020
That fog was a wet sock,
Shoved deep into their mouths.
A cold day and a bundled heart.

They choked on wasted words,
Words that would have spilled out,
Had the sun warmed their lips.

The frosted park of leafless trees
Sang silence in a tune too quiet.
They walked, feeling every stone unturned.

The simple scarf she wore,
Just a pretty noose around her nape;
He would have kissed her there if he knew the knots.

His gloved hand was a fortress,
Tucked and tightly hoarding heat.
She found no invitation at that leather gate.

As they walked in the mundane,
Surrounded by winter’s mystery,
They both longed to run back and kiss with a summer sunset.
69 · Sep 2020
Seeing Red
Jonathan Sep 2020
The sun will be gone till Friday,
At least that’s what I was told.

The houses will be gone forever,
at least that’s what I’ve seen.

As a deep red tint blankets the west
And ash flakes litter the cities,

The prayers are prayed in vain,
At least that’s what I fear.
#PNW #wildfires #loss #sad #fear
68 · Feb 2021
A Vignette: Everclear
Jonathan Feb 2021
Maybe one day I will share Everclear and orange juice with a stranger. Perhaps it will be at a bus station or in a backyard south of Rio Grande, hell, it could be tomorrow on my smoke break by that one dumpster; the one that nobody notices because it smells like forgotten space and unwashed feet. Regardless of where it won't take much to warm the belly and cloud the chaos. Maybe a small splash into a glass would be all I need to look over at the stranger, who happily shares it with me, and say what I can't when sober. A splash for us both, so we can hear our naked thoughts and see we are the same in mind, body, and spirit. We are no different. We are but two fleshy hearts sharing forgotten space, looking for love, and finding ourselves; but as to how? That is never clear.
This is not a poem.. oops
60 · Aug 2020
Inhibitions
Jonathan Aug 2020
If I could listen to my body

I would lose my mind


My heart would beat faster



My eyes would grow wild




My hands would be yours
59 · Aug 2020
Every Iota
Jonathan Aug 2020
I desire to know you
Like a language never penned,
Like a book never read.

A perfectly curved plot line,
You’ve captured me.

Invite me in.
Tell me your story.
Every iota, a glimmer of glory.
57 · Aug 2020
Clingy Friend
Jonathan Aug 2020
I long for that part of each day,
When I die slowly on the cushioned couch.
After work, after a day of giving a ****.
You and I will sit together.
Oh, Ambivalence, my clingy friend.
55 · Aug 2020
Steam
Jonathan Aug 2020
Shower beers—
Life long fears.

Hot water—
I return to the thought of you.
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