Her beautiful, beautiful
Breath.
From her beautiful, beautiful
Mouth.
Onto my desperate, desperate
Skin.
And I'm always, always
Wanting.
More
More
More.

Trying to find a place to cry.
How pathetic is that.

Not my house,
My family will ask.
Not my dorm,
My roommate will wonder.
Can't park in my car,
People will pull over.
(People are so ******* kind in that way).

So I'll drive.
And I'll cry.
Like a child
Who didn't get his way.
Which,
In a way,
Is fairly accurate.

But I need to cry somewhere.
The pressure is building up
In my head
In my heart
In the pit of my stomach.
Waiting there
To make its debut.

So I'll drive.
And I'll cry.
And I'll let it all out.
Because I want you
But he has you
And I didn't get my way.
And on second thought no,
Not like a child.  
A child is much more
Mature.

Because I won't apologize
For throwing a fit.
Because I still want you.
So I'll just drive for awhile.
And let it all out
On the road.
Throwing a fit
In my '91 Chevy.

I find myself behind her
As she's gliding down the walkway
With a
Left
Right
Left
Right
Movement of her hips.

Frozen in this dance
For now or for
Forever.

I need
Your movements
To match
With mine
Once more.

Music has started
To physically move me
In ways
I never knew
Could be.

Today has been a rough one,
It brought me to my brink.
It kept me from all bubbly laugh
And caused my love to drink.
My heart is drunk, my voice is sunk,
Alas, it cannot swim.
I'm broken, I'm unspoken,
And my spirit has gone dim.

You make me more
Of who I want
To be.

I told.
Someone.
I told them.
Who I am.
How I feel.
About you I mean.

That's right.
You don't know.
That's okay.
Let's just leave it.
That way.

She tries to keep her smile hidden,
To hold it inside of her
For just a moment longer
Before letting it out
All at once.

You don't need to hide your joy from me
Don't keep it locked inside.
Set it free for all to see,
We could all use a little laughter.
We could all use a little sun.

You're so light,
I'll say it again.
You put the sun to shame.
There's no other way to say it.
No other words can express
The way you light up a room
Just by simply
Being in it.

She stretches out her arms
And lets out a sigh.
Before pulling her palms
Above her head.
She's tired.
It's time for the sun to get some rest.

Cue the moon.
He walks in after a long day at work.
He hates it.
He wants wants to quit.
He wants to leave.
But instead,
He kisses me.

You're so smooth,
So wise,
So calming.
You give me chills
The way you shimmer
In the middle of the night.

Your tender lips
Form a crescent
Against your face
As they turn upward
To greet me.

Sunshine can be nice
But I'll spend my nights
With the moon.
I'll see you in the morning
My dear light.

You deserve every flower.

The ones that people worked to create.

And the ones that people had no part in.

The boy was young
The girl was sweet
And their love made
The sun speak.

And their love grew
And life broke forth,
A child
Who'll make
Your knees weak.

How is it
You leave me
So breathless?

Such an
Odd
Way
To ******.

No breath
In my lungs
Leaves me room
In my mind
To imagine
The things
We could do.

You're always in my head.
Over a year since I met you
Months since you've left.

But you're
Never
Really
Gone.

A love like you
Doesn't leave
A girl like me.

You live in my bones
With music
With color
With light.

You are beauty in every form
And every love I feel
Reminds me of you.

I feel you in my hands
Clutching your hip bones,
Clinging to your arm,
Wrapped around your fingers.

I feel it.

I see you in my mind
Watching you walk the room,
Seeing you smile at me,
Looking at your eyes, your lips.

I see it.

I know what you want.
Forever with me,
Together with me,
Both of us as one.

I know it.

I feel you.
I see you.
I know you.

And it's all there.
And it's all together.
And it's all tucked away.
Filed under "what if?".

I failed.
I failed you.
And no words
Will take back
The ones I said.

I just want to apologize
And gather you up
And hold you close
And brush my fingers
Through your hair.

But I lost that privilege
When I acted a coward
And put all of my faults
On you.

Ever since
We started falling
I was never fair
To you.

And you loved me so purely
And you cared so deeply
And you did everything right
And good.

But I loved selfishly
And I didn't treat you
In the way you deserve.
I treated you in a way
That I was not proud of
That I am not proud of
I'm ashamed.

Then I poured all the fault on you.
I failed you.
I failed myself.
And I am no good for you.

And there's just no escape
From this hold that you have on me
I'm so sick of feeling this way.

Stuck somewhere between
Being friends and being lovers,
You've clearly chosen your place.

I can't control you
And I will not try to
You should never be contained,
No, not you.

So I will just look on
While you are with another
And I will not steal you
Away.

When you find yourself
In someone else.

When you fall in love
In a moment.

That love
May be too much
For you to take.

But that doesn't mean
That she was too much
For you to take.

She wasn't bad.
She wasn't wrong.
She wasn't overwhelming.

She changed a life
That required too much
To change.

And she is
Beautiful
Magical
Wonderful
Perfect
In her soft skin.

She will be
Everything
To someone
Someday.

Let her go.

come back around
back around
and around
running rushing racing
through my mind
through my mind
through my mind your own business
"This does not concern you"
we tell all the children
as we shut the door
on their little fingers
they hold in the pain
in the pain
in the paying my dues
as I leave this old place
as I walk out on you
won't you come back around
back around
and around
and around back to me.
Please don't leave.

it's getting dim outside
you were all things light
now you're moving away
i suppose the sunlight
follows you

She craves his touch,
He craves her scent
Of passion all over his clothes.

She says "Let's be friends, because I can't commit"
He believes her.
But no. DO NOT TRUST HER.
Because what he doesn't know is that
She can't commit to a boy who is hurting
While she still looks for a cure.

Yes and she craves his touch
Just to fill up the void
Of the one who gave up on her.
But she cannot hurt him.
No she won't shut him down.
As he opens up to her.

So they live in a moment
In a dark parking lot
That some would call wrong but they call adventure.
And for that moment he is hers and she is his
And in that moment they are each other.

And though she won't give it all she'll give just enough
To make her not sleep and not eat anymore.
And he'll live on his days always believing that
"She can't commit."
As she bolts the door
To her heart.

It's no longer fun
When it's
No longer mine.

Like a secret
That I
Didn't mean to tell.

Staring into darkness
Hoping to see stars
But there's
Nothing
Nothing
There.

I'm in love the with idea of you. I can't get over it. It stays with me. It lives in me. I cannot leave it and I do not need to. Because, you see, I'm not in love with you.

I'm in love with way you make me feel. The smile you bring to my lips. The one I attempt to hide. The one no one else can see. But even if they do. What's it matter? I'm not in love with you.

I'm in love with the way you move. The way you touch your fingers to your cheek. And I may do the same. Yes I may touch your cheek, and pull you close to me. But that's okay. Because it's not as if I'm in love with you.

I'm in love with your kiss. Your lips on my lips. The way we feel together. I can't fake that. But you can. Because you're not in love with me. And that's alright. I don't mind. I'm not in love with you.

And maybe if I say it a few more times.
And maybe if I make a few more rhymes.
And maybe if I tell a few more lies.
I'll finally start to believe it.

Who do you have to cry to
At 3 o'clock
In the
Morning

People seem to want
To be desired.
To be chased after.
To be fought over.
To be wanted.
Needed.

I want to be left the **** alone.

And I know, I know this is going to come off as ****** and unfair. But it's exhausting. I am. Exhausted.

Sure, you see the girl being fought over in the movies or being hit on in the bar and it seems almost magical and endearing, sweet and **** and you just want other people. To want you like that.

But having a friend send you phrases like "I'd very much like to kiss you" late at night when they're too drunk to know any better is not magical.

Having men rev their engines and yell things like "You're red hot!" as they gesture at you to take your top off from their pickup windows is not endearing.

Feeling like you owe someone something because they told you that you're attractive is not sweet.

And then being called vain and cocky and a ***** because you're confident in who you are and how you look, that's not ****. Being confident is ****. Being made to feel guilty about your confidence is not ****.

You do not owe anyone anything simply because you are beautiful. And you are. Beautiful. It's not ****** to choose to not respond to someone who is making you feel uncomfortable due to how they speak or look at you.

I don't want to be desired. Or chased after or fought over. I just want to be left alone to breathe. To take a breath. To simply live my life.

So boo hoo me. I'm attractive and I know it. But that's who I AM. My confidence and beauty is not a question for you to answer. It's my life. Let me live it.

And nothing's the
SAME ANYMORE

And I'm losing it
I'm losing touch with myself

Because I lost touch with you.

You stopped writing me.
I looked for your words of love
But they were no where to be found.

Because I asked you to stop them.
Because I asked you.
I did.

But now they're gone.
And nothing is the
Same anymore.

I'm just not feeling anything anymore.

And the sun's no longer
Shining.

And the sky's a
Milky blue.

I bite my lip
And it leaves a mark,
Anything to take you off my mind.

Yeah I bite my lip
In hopes of blood
In hopes of pain
To feel something else
To take you off my mind.
Like a
"Squeeze my hand and the shot won't hurt."
Or a
"Rip off the bandaid real quick."
But it doesn't work.

So I bite my lip
To think of something else
To take you off my mind.

So imagine my surprise
When I bite my lip
And instead of pain
I get memories.
Of you slipping your lip
Between your teeth
And biting down ever so slightly
Ever so sultry
Ever so ****
HOW DO YOU DO THAT.

You're the last thing that I need
But you're the first thing on my mind
And I don't mind no I don't mind
You filling up all of my head.
But see I have another who should be there,
Filling up my thoughts and taking claim of my heart.
Yeah and they rightfully earned their place there.
Oh but you just slipped in
(you sneaky **** *******)
Just the way your lip slips between your teeth.

So I can't bite my lip
I can't make myself bleed
Because I only taste you
In my mouth.
And I only feel you
On my tongue.
And I only want you
In my thoughts.
And I can't take you
Off my mind.

Milk
is weird right?
Like why
How did we even
Anyway.
That's not important
I actually love you
HAH
Like.
A lot.
But really milk?
Just hop on under that cow and
How do you always smell so nice GOD it's infuriating
And your eyes make me want to
And then we drink it?! Like what come on
That's just ridiculous.
Can you imagine the guy who was the first one to even TRY
to hold your hand. God I'd love to. But I can't. Because
It had to weird out some people honestly this can't just be me who's out here thinking about when on earth did we start just drinking cow's milk. Was someone just like "Well when I was younger my mother
And then you smile.
Oh my god I can't breathe and you ask me something.
****.
**** what did you say.
I was watching your mouth move and you said something now your eyes your eyes they're looking at me and I don't know what you said so I just say
***** milk I guess whatever though.

My head is all a clutter.
I can't make out a thing.
It's as if my mind and my emotions
Are always arguing.

She tucks her hair
Behind her ear
Just to have it slip down
Once more.

Can you blame it?
Her hair.
For ever wanting
To caress her cheek
Once more.

My desire just to hold her,
Tucks her chin into her shoulder.
Pulls her lips up.
Brings her lids down.

"You close your eyes when you smile."
"Is that not right?"
"You're just missing out on something beautiful is all."

and nothing she did was unrecognized

And now
It is time
To get to know myself.

What a frightening
Wonderful
Thing.

Sorry
Comes across my lips
So frequently
It's as though
I'm not apologizing for
My actions
But rather
My existence.

Please forgive me.
For it appears that my emotions have
Spilled from my eyes again.

You want for me to come to you
Least that is what you said.

But if I were to go there
Then do tell me,
Would we wed?

For I won't give my heart away
To those who'll leave it dead.

So take a risk
And leave your home.
Come here to me instead.

Falling out of love
Is not always a bad thing.

I have spoken every word
And I have used up every letter.
I bought out every sentence,
Just to live life as a debtor.

Quit being mad
At everyone else
For the bad mood
That you chose to have.

I miss

My
Family
Of
Friends

And my
Free time.

Please love me
Forever again
Like that.

You're

gone

and
I
can't

breathe.

You can't remind me who I am
Through my screams of
LET ME FORGET

He's crying.
I'm just waiting.
You're avoiding conversation.
And I just
Don't know
Where this
Unnerving
Awkward
Tension's
Coming from.

Her movements
Are so fluid
There is no reason
To alter the specifics
To make them more appealing
When transferring them to words.

No need for analogies
Or symbolism.

She dips her head back
And lets it slip from
One shoulder
To the other.
Resting on each one
Ever so slightly
To greet them both
The same.

Her hand
Puppeteers her arm upward
To swipe her fingers
Across her brow.
A gentle kiss of reassurance
That morning has at last
Arrived.

Her thumbs lead the way
For her hands to follow
As they slip behind her ears
And make their way down to the ends
Of her hair.
But before they finish their descent,
They meet together
Her smooth hair stops them from making
Total impact.
The right stays put, creating ******* for the hair that is left behind.
The left guides the remaining strands around her shoulder
To rest there
As her hand continues down her chest.
Something that she only allows her own kind
To do.

Her actions alone are pure poetry.
From turning her head,
To stretching her arms,
To simply putting up her hair.
It is all poetic
To witness
To experience
To love.

I cry
Way more than necessary.

And I don't want you to think
That I'm crying to avoid
Confrontation
Or
Discipline
Or
Uncomfortable conversation.

I cry
Because I'm sensitive
And sad.
I'm a bit pathetic
But I'm entirely truthful
In the fact that
I would stop the tears
If I could.

But they just keep flowing out
When I get a little overwhelmed
Or your voice gets a little too loud
Or the days been a little too long.

I'm an ever flowing fountain of
Uncertainty and confusion
Amidst my tears and sniffles.

But please don't feel sorry for me
As my emotions pour down my face.
Don't feel guilty or uncomfortable or sad.

I'll be just fine.
I live with this.
I'll live through this.
I cry.

It used to be you
Who'd initiate kisses.

But now it's just me,
Desperately trying
To regain your
Affection.