I keep falling in love

I keep falling in love with the thought

of you falling in love with me, too.

Coffee lips.

so bitter

yet so sweet.

You keep me awake

yet you make my heart palpitate.

Do I need you

or want you?

Coffee lips.

Your taste

I always crave.

Your bitterness

I cannot avoid.

You surge through me

like a drug

You flow

just like blood through my veins,

Coffee lips.

The residue sticks

to my sleeping lips

and by your taste

you wake  me.

Coffee lips.**

So bitter

yet sweet.

So lively

yet deadly.

I need you

more than I want you.

You used to love me,

You weren’t in it alone.

I used to love you.

Maybe I am exactly like everybody else out there,
wanting to escape,
wanting to love, and be loved,
wanting to be happy,
and wanting to be content.

I’m exactly like you,
wanting everything that’s missing;
but unlike you,
I don’t want to be that anymore,
I want to be happy with what I’ve got,
and satisfied
with all that I’ve been given.

You are halfway around the world

and I’m just here.

You’re out there in a different world

and I’m just here.

You’re out there doing God knows what

and I’m just here.

I’m here.

You’re there.

I’m here halfway around the world

and you’re just there.

I’m here in my world wanting to be in yours

and you’re just there.

I’m here doing things I wish you knew about

and you’re just there.

You’re there

and I’m here.

And there’s nothing I can do about it.

Bad habits are hard to break

But you weren’t a habit…

you were so much more.

And even if it felt like it,

you weren’t bad at all.

To me you were the air,

I did not want to,

I needed to.

I needed to breathe you in,

I needed you in my system.

I did not want to,

I did not mean to,

I had to breathe you in.

I never thought I had to stop,

It did not cross my mind

to not breathe you in.

You were just there,

I did not see you,

nor hear you,

But I felt you.

Surrounding me.

It was instinct.

Taking you in.

It was natural.

You, the air

and breathing was loving.

I never found reason to stop breathing,

and I never will.

The more I inhaled,

the more I exhaled,

and it felt like

I was emptying myself

of me.

And filling myself,

with you.

And it was as though,

there was never enough of me

to contain you.

But I did not stop breathing.

And I never will.

Instinct,

not a bad habit.

that’s what you were,

No.

That’s what loving you was.

It couldn’t be helped.

I had to breathe.