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Lyteweaver Feb 2014
I am a rose in the desert
yearning for someone to notice its beauty.
I am a cloud
strong and shaped
that changes as the wind blows.
I am a sand dollar
fragile
that breaks from too much handling.
I am a dandelion
perfect
until the breeze blows before you get your wish.
I am a canvas
waiting to be explored
wanting to be labeled a piece of art.
I am an intricate sand castle
submerged by the ocean tide.
I am the moon
constantly changing
lighting the night
hoping to have a face I can hold forever.
I am a spirit
seeking balance
I am a boulder
on a tight rope.
Lyteweaver Nov 2015
I wish I may
I wish I might
Hitch aboard a spaceship flight
And launch myself right outta sight

I'd buckle my strap
and sit back firm
Look out the window
See Earth as a blur

The stars become stardust
As I fly through their space
It's me arriving home
knowing my place

My fingers
My heart
My toes and my face
My flaws
and my fears
combust and erase

I peel off my skin
Its heaviness discarded
My spirit spills out
The Cosmos unguarded

I'm finally home
an ethereal garden
Fairies and flowers
Fields and streams
Mountains and Gnomes
It's the place from my dreams

Born of the Cosmos
Divine DNA
I often forget I can fly here
any time
any place.

Flights available each moment
each day
I just have to breathe
look up...
"* Are You headed my way?*"
written after a nice afternoon of reading from The Prophet and Letters to a Young Poet. Sincere gratitude to the authors that have shaped me and my vision!
Lyteweaver Sep 2014
Have you ever wondered
what a rose sounds like?
Maybe a soft love song
layered with velvety notes
hugging closely
whispering sweet tenderness.

Have you ever wondered
what a rainbow smells like?
Maybe a fragrant potpourri
with layers of chakric potency
permeating the earth with aromatic energy.

Have you ever wondered
what a cloud tastes like?
Maybe ethereal cotton candy
whispering angel speak on your tongue
Melting in mouths with billowing sweetness.

Have you ever wondered
what wisdom looks like?
Maybe salty tears stained on a face.
Or creases caked with laughter
and frowns from falling out of place.

Have you ever wondered
what it's like to touch divinity?
Maybe it's just bathing yourself
in the harmonies surrounding thee.
Breathing a breath that
inhales omniscient unity.

Cradled by Arch Angel wings
you are a reverberating vibration.
An orchestrated cacophony
weaving ripples of love.
Lyteweaver Mar 2014
An empty shell
of where breath resided
A childhood fantasy
unveiled as grim existence
Echoes of lonely hopes
with wishes unfulfilled

Crack Me
Reveal Me
Smother Me
Bury Me.
I'm Dead.

Smooth velvet wind
whispers Love across my skin
A vision of possibility
emerges as a prism of celestial hues
Melodic waves
push my soul ashore

Envelop Me
Illuminate Me
Cleanse Me
Celebrate Me.
*I'm Alive.
Lyteweaver Oct 2013
No click in my heels
No swagger in my step
No light in my eye
No life in my breath

Empty as empty
A hole filled with nothing
So much nothing
Has got to be something

No wine in my glass
No smoke in my bowl
No needle in my vein
No pills to swallow

Empty as empty
A hole filled with nothing
So much nothing
Has got to be something

No story on the screen
No music in the speakers
No freshness in my sheets
No blinking from my blinker

Empty as empty
A hole filled with nothing
So much nothing
Has got to be something

No words on the page
No mess on the floor
No meal in the oven
No muse......no ******

Empty as empty
A hole filled with nothing
So much nothing
Has got to be something

No truth in my smile
No silver lining on the cloud
No joy in my spirit
No peace for my brow

Empty as empty
A hole filled with nothing
So much nothing
Has got to be something

Yet the emptier I get
The deeper I feel
A large open space
Truth is revealed

Empty as empty
A hole filled with nothing
So much nothing
Has got to be something
Lyteweaver May 2014
I died waiting for you to come alive.
Now that you have come to life
I need to be revived.
I shouldn't have waited
for you to arrive.
Watched my dreams fly by;
my existence became a lie.
So many tears I cried
praying you would see the light.
I emptied my soul
while you were blind
Finally you arrive
in your own time.
My heart is cold
watching our fateful story unfold.
So sorry that I have died
waiting for you to come alive
I've flatlined.
__^_^___^______­_

See you on the other side.
I need a defibrillating charge straight to my heart
Lyteweaver May 2014
There once was a girl
Not just any ole girl (as if there's such a thing)
She danced and sang and smiled real sweet
She shouted
I have this light!
It shines real bright!
Do you see this shine?!
This light of mine?!

Her light was smothered
Her innocence lost
She hid for awhile
until her wings took flight

Then there was a teen
A sullen fine pearl
With smarts to envy
And a body out of this world
She whispered
I have this light
Squint your eyes real tight
Do you see the glimmer
This luminous shimmer?


Adolescence with a blanket of fear
and an edgy exterior
She hid for awhile
Until her wings took flight

Then there was a young woman
A **** clever sweet thing
A studious charmer
with her dreams shelved on a ring
Could have studied rocket science
or aimed for the moon
Aren't I supposed to get married?
Strike a pose at noon?


Some years later
She questioned,
Do I still have that light?
What happened to my fight?
I feel so alone
And not really fine
I need that light keeping me warm
and my spirit alive


There was no burn
No oxygen breathing new life
She died for awhile and
cried and cried
Until her wings took flight

So now there is this woman
with a mind of mush
She schedules and delivers
but forgets so much
She fights like a champ
Gets up like Sugar Ray
She swings but can't punch
Each day is a heavy weight

Forgoing her passions
she leaves her soul on the floor
Her heart hurts leaving her wounds open and sore

She sighs,
There is still a light
a tiny lil flicker
I know that it's there because
a blow becomes a flare.



Nowhere left to hide
With tots' tantrums, earning keep,endless laundry, and late fees,
She forgets to eat.

She learns to stay quiet when
they knock on the door.
Holds her breath
and sometimes cries on the floor.

YET

She laughs

*I'll hide in the bathroom
blowing quietly on the smolder
You never know
I just might ignite
That light of mine
That bright light that died
Could come back to life
Lyteweaver Feb 2016
Facebook makes me want to *****
Spew chunks of fake houses
perfect spouses
So many poses
perfect smiles and staircases
tout it.
Adorn rose-colored glasses
as you watch the egregious *****
boast champagne in their glasses
as they fool masses.
What does it matter the square footage
if you can’t teach your children how to solve problems?
Or start movements?
Or have values?
I’d rather wear hand-me-downs and have roots
than don Versace and walk in rich boots.
When the day ends, as you are lounging in your satin linens
do you ask yourself how you grew today?
How you moved today?
How you flew today?
Well I am…

So get out of my way.
Lyteweaver Feb 2014
Like an hour glass tipped on its side
She waits
Time. Stands. Still.
tick tock
tick tock
Dreams shelved
Indefinitely
Filed in an alphabetical index
allowing quick retrieval
for when she is free
to dream again.
ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOP
QRSTUVWXYZ
Lyteweaver Feb 2014
BOING!
The harder the landing
the higher the bounce.
Up here all is clear
A transparent perspective
Wish I could levitate in this space.
WOOSH.
Here I plunge again.
Grasping for anything to hold me
To stop my fall.
THUD.
****.
I expected to bounce.
Walking around the gutter
looking for light in the dark
I am disoriented.
Lost in space.
I'll just have to find a new
height to scale to get outta this place.
Next time I'm up there
I'll hail cab to Cloud Nine
And ride around for awhile
checking out the scenery.
With some old school funk pulsing
from the speakers.
*pump pump pump
Lyteweaver Jun 2014
I wonder how you love me
when I'm a total mess?
Or how you wait patiently
sopping up tears with tenderness?

How is it that you love me
when I spit venom of blame?
Or turn my heart on and off
siphoning life from our veins?

How is it that you love me
when I'm always on edge?
Or when I'm crying then raging
with one toe over the ledge?

How is that you love me
when you watch me try to escape?
A dysfunctional drain swirling
with anger and self-hate.

What must it be like
to love a woman like me?
I bet it's hard to watch
the abuse from my worst enemy;  me.

I wonder how you love me?
Tell me please.
Lucky me to have the heart
of the man who sees all of me.
Lyteweaver Jun 2014
Dearest daughter, we are told as small children that little girls should be "sugar and spice and everything nice." Don't believe that! Here are a few lessons I've learned thus far.  Take them or leave them. I am here only to guide you and protect you on your chosen path.

1. Never let anyone degrade you or cause you to feel bad about yourself.  You were born perfectly divine and deserve to be treated as such.

2. Don't compare your body or looks to the women in magazines, online, or on T.V. Technology can erase any imperfection with the click of a button. We are all built differently and uniquely.  It is a woman's inner beauty and confidence that shines.

3. Don't get caught up in thinking trends, fashions or name brands are important.  It's the person behind the designer watch, under the highlights and perfectly fake fingernails that will or won't make her mark on this world.

4. Choose girl friends wisely. A true friend will defend you even when you aren't around to hear it. Keep company with people who lift you up, not bring you down.  There's nothing more inspiring and centering than spending time with other like-minded women.

5. Never intentionally hurt or degrade another human being.  Words can be as hurtful as weapons.  Your words have the power to lift a person's spirit or damage it beyond repair.

6. Don't be afraid to question authority or take a stand for something you believe in.  The world has enough followers. BE A LEADER.

7. Your education has a powerful influence on your future.  Take school seriously; knowledge is power.  Learn as much as you can when given the opportunity no matter where you are at that time.

8.  Just because a boy says he loves or cares for you doesn't mean he does.  Pay attention to what he DOES.

9. Don't ever stay with a guy who hits, controls or cheats.  Love shouldn't hurt.  Get rid of him immediately!

10. Take opportunities to travel, meet new people and have new experiences.  Don't be so focused on getting married and having children at a time when you are still discovering your talents and gifts.

11. When you are ready to settle down, choose your husband carefully.  He should be kind, generous, and loving.  These are the qualities that make a good husband and father.

12. Stop and take time to notice a pretty flower when you see one. Feel the cool breeze when the wind shifts.  Be in awe of the millions of stars at night. Enjoy the melody of a bluejay outside your window.  Notice beauty in every person you meet. For these are the ways God is revealed to you everyday.

13.  Know that you are never alone even when it feels like you are.  This one will try to trick you throughout life.  Call its bluff!

14.  Don't be so concerned with acquiring money and things.  You came into this world with nothing and you will leave with nothing.  People are often disconnected from spirit because they are so concerned with material objects and status that they start to believe they ARE what they DO and what they HAVE.  When you can't do anymore or lost the things you had, you will be left with nothing but spirit anyway.

15. Realize the power and influence you have just by being a woman.  Women are the mothers who shape our future generations.  If we protect and educate girls and women, we save the world.

I am sure I will learn as much and more from you as you learn from me.  Welcome to the world little one.  Make your mark and make it a big one!

Love always and forever (even when you forget these words of advice),
Your Mom, Mommy, Mama
This was written in 2010 for my baby girl that I prayed for and received.  She is a fantastic force, and I can't wait to see where this journey takes us.
Lyteweaver Apr 2014
Like a spider on *******
I weave dysfunction
in   a      haphazard    way
My web has huge              gaping                         holes
It continues to u
                         n
                      r
                         a
                      v
                        e
                      l
                       
Stops short of beautiful
I begin one segment
then d
         r
         o
         p it to start piecing together another
My web lacks intricate details
that would make it magnificant to others
My web cannot function naturally
the way instinct intended
The holes in my web
cause opportunities to fly right by and through
leaving me hungry, confused and reliant on you
This web is a silky mess
So I'll just leave it be
to end up
on someone's eyelash
as they acquiesce.
Like a spider on *******
I         weave    dysfunction
        in  a     hap-haz-ard      
                                                                ­    way.
Lyteweaver Jan 2017
I want to LAUGH like I've never laughed before.
I want to feel salty tears streaming down the creases of my face
as my abdominals cramp from jubilation.
Time will stop completely as I lose myself in the belly laughs
that roar between comedians of life.

I want to LOVE like I've never loved before.
I want to feel my heart beating with sunshine to the sound of a violin.
The notes will play harmony in my soul
filling my spirit with orchestrated synchronicity.

I want to LIVE like I've never lived before.
I want to take chances and leap before I think.
I will dive off a cliff into a deep clear lagoon submerging my shell.
I will close my eyes and JUMP
as I plunge into aquamarine bliss.
Lyteweaver Oct 2014
I am just a shell.
I don't have much life inside of me.
Well maybe a little sticky mess
that resembles the form of a snail
trying to squirm my way out.
I only need one foot for that.
That's a good thing because I severed the other
foot attempting to come out of my coffin from an early burial.

What happens when a snail realizes she is just a snail?

She says, "Ok, I'm a snail.  I'll do what snails do."
Slow and steady wins the race...

So why do I feel like a red tailed hawk looking for an opening to soar through?

Acquiescing to a snail's life
is the same as having my wings clipped.


*I may be caged, jailed, grounded...but in my dreams I fly high towards the endless horizon.
Leaving that slimy shell prison in my dust.
Lyteweaver Mar 2014
Look into my eyes.
Your laser beam pupils
penetrating my core.
Melodic rhapsody drumming rhythm
across my curves.
Your light touch upon my skin
erupts waves of pleasure.....dive in with me.
Your kisses leave hearts beating on my flesh.
Dive in with me.
Immerse yourself in me
in my soul
in my energy.
Dive in with me.
Our love blends a magic potion of ecstasy.
Dive in with me.
My ocean is your reflection.
Take a look at yourself.
Dive in with me.
Save your words for breaths.
I can read your mind.
You want to dive in.
*Dive in with me.
Lyteweaver Jul 2014
My heart bleeds tears
So yours doesn't have to.
It opens right up to every piece of joy
and sadness and injustice and inspiration.
Gushing tears....flood waters for the dramatic.
No use in trying to hold them back.
They burst all barriers and reinforcements.

My heart beats pain....thump thump...thump thump
Louder now. THUMP THUMP....THUMP THUMP
Innocent children destroyed in all corners of society.
Pump. Pump. Pump.
Poisoned by our own government with lies  
Imprinted at a young age and we believed them. For a while.
Pump. Pump. Pump.

An aorta so large that tears mainline my existence.
It bleeds for you, your children, me, my children, our animals, our planet.
Some days it stops all together in a moment of silence for the ethereal
shedding their tears as rain on us all.
No tourniquet could stop the strength of my pulsing heart
My forceful, stubborn tears.

As I bleed out
these tears nourish
the ugliness around my shell.

Souls who are born with a heart like mine
encase an ***** strong enough to hold, release and replenish
tears of pain and joy over and over again.
It allows us to not just see beauty but breathe it.
It allows us to feel love so intensely
that our teary reservoirs are life forces beating Universally.

My heart bleeds tears so yours doesn't have to.
Apply pressure with an embrace or your own beaming light so my heart beats in unison with yours.
For those bleeding heart souls like mine....we are here for a reason. Our pain has a message.  We are strong, which is why our hearts are open wide.  The side effects are barely tolerable some days. You are not alone. And neither am I.
Lyteweaver Apr 2016
I bathe in my own tears
The blood of my soul drenches my skin
Brings me back to life
Temporarily

A Phoenix
rising from her ashes
set ablaze from spontaneous combustion
The explosion floods regrets
and feeds an unseen cusp
Lyteweaver Jul 2014
Do you want to keep your tears?
No, I want them all out.
I'll keep them for you*

~Love
This is part of a conversation with my 8 year old son. One old soul recognizing another.
Lyteweaver May 2014
Please God
Send me an adventure. 
A crazy wild ride.
Let's Make A Deal.
Give me a choice of 3 doors
before my formidable demise.
You see if I don't get some chill,
some life-force pill; I'll suffocate on boredom
and absence of thrill.
Send me a time machine to fly back in history.
Let me feel what it's like to be part of a movement
or solve a mystery.
Shoot me into space where I can meet the Third Kind.
Might not speak the same language, but we'd communicate just fine.
I'd feel right at home on some far away planet.
Now, please, send me some adventure ******!

But wait.
There's just one little clause.
I need this adventure no earlier than 6 a.m. and not after 9 at night.
Oh and I have to be home in time
to feed the cat, make dinner and tuck the kids in tight.
So schedule me in, deliver my ride.
I'm patiently waiting; swiftly dying inside.
No pressure or anything; I'm chillin'.
Eyes peering behind blinds like a death row villain.
Fingers crossed. Breath held.
Is that FedEx? Oh god willing...

Per terms and agreement:
Please do not send me adventure wrapped in Wet Wipes, Stow-and-Go Seating or sibling food fights.
Just launch me outta homemakin' and caretakin'
for one stinkin' day!
Let me a be a gypsy, a journalist or have a fan-tas-tic lay.
Let me move masses, stack paper, be the star of a play.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Nevermind. 
It's Groundhog Day.
Passport optional
Lyteweaver Mar 2014
There's a shadow hanging over me
belonging to the me
I was supposed to be.
I squirm to lose this shadow
because it is following
a ghost of me.
Looming languidly and large
it mimics my movements with melancholy.
I hide in the dark
so it won't find me.
Lyteweaver Jun 2014
She got a ticket to nowhere
and bought it with a bucket of dreams.
Dreams that were traded
for a vast plain of empty seeds.

She planted drops of hope
and watered the fields
with devotion and attention.
Only to be left with dead seedlings
of bitter dissension.

With her soul account emptied and bare
she had invested everything
for a plentiful harvest to
sustain nutrition and share.
She plowed and plowed
But the sprouts she tried to cultivate
Stayed dormant and bowed
throughout a lifetime of relentless drought.

The sun still rises
and there is water from my tears
with enough attention and some discarded fears
Perhaps one little seed will take hold
and enter the world
with new blooms
that beautifully unfold.


Back in the saddle all suited up
she figures
maybe
just maybe
if I don't give up

With just one seed from her pocket
buried deep in a survivor's locket
she patted it down
and drenched it with faith
Called on her angels and down came the rain.
"Keep on sowing your seed, for you never know which will grow - perhaps it all will."~Albert Einstein
Lyteweaver Feb 2015
Ra-ra-ra-ra-rage!
Bam!
Did I get You?
So sorry
You were in my rage.
You are an innocent bystander I am quite sure.
Don't mind me.
Just bob and weave.
I have another weapon up my sleeve.
Where did my fury come from you ask?
Did it start from my childhood or did it
flash forward with pain in my flask?
Either way
Here I stand with boxing gloves on
and a weapon in sight....
just in case.
TOTAL KNOCK OUT.
I apologize.
Don't worry it's just a phase.
sleep with one eye open
Lyteweaver Oct 2013
Oh, it's you again
I had hoped I wouldn't see you for awhile
Like maybe you lost my address and couldn't find me at all.
But it's you....
I recognize you by the tears streaming
Down my face
By the heaviness in my heart.
I know it's you again
Because suddenly I'm crippled on the floor
With broken legs and broken wings.
I see that it's you again
By the way you confiscate my enjoyment of music, art and laughter.
I feel your presence
by my inability to do simple tasks without dread.
It's you again because breathing, talking, sleeping feel forced.

I didn't invite you back.

In fact I've told you that you aren't welcome here anymore.
I've screamed "GET OUT!"
Yet you have the nerve to show up again.
You are not going to win.
Let me say that again.
You WILL NOT WIN.
You lie to me that spirit has left.
You manipulate my thoughts with poison.
You coerce me into believing you are stronger than me....
Stronger than the divine.
I do not associate with liars
Therefore I will not acknowledge your presence.
Now, kindly walk out the door of my psyche
So that the divine may settle in with my soul.
Lyteweaver May 2014
I write because if I didn't
I would choke on my thoughts
like a piece of half-chewed steak.
I would gag, turn red and meet certain death
from the inside out.
No need for first aid.
I write.

I write to express the dark and the heavenly
snapshots that sit undeveloped in my mind
potentially creating blurs and plaque over time.
I paint pictures with words in lieu of oil base
My pen draws me within
It is the high that I chase.
I write.

I write because words are my music
Poetry my score.
I close my eyes, disappear.
Shhhh. Can you hear?
That motion picture soundtrack?
The stories that play
havoc and bliss in my brain
are much more captivating than
real scenes too mundane to name.
I write


I write because without it I just couldn't breathe.
I'd huff and puff
And finally asphyxiate on just.... me.
Words are my blood
sharing life from my core
Yet my pain is tinted with rainbows.
Open me up;
watch me pour.
I write.
On behalf of all poets who have ever lived and are yet to be born.
Lyteweaver Oct 2013
Life is good
Life is swell
Looking at you
from the bottom of my well

You say relax, sit back and smile
I say I would if I didn't have to shovel this pile

Razor blades outside my skin
repel your love cutting me within

My tortured mind takes over reason
I try to hold on white knuckling the season

I didn't invite this darkness to enter
It barges on in, knocking me off of my center
I pull from my bag of miraculous tricks
Meditation, Deep Breathing, but nothing sticks

The hardest part is what this does to you and me
I cry I'm sorry Babe, here is my apology

I'm awful to be around, to talk to, to love
I pray for your patience
and strength from above


I've lost the real me it seems to be
My sadness and nerves are my identity


I know I'm still here, plugging along
Playing Mommy, cleaning house, but without any song


Please reach closer when I push you away
Not easy I know, especially some days
Your love and tenderness ground me to home
You by my side shows me I'm not alone


Scrunched in my darkness
Squinting for light
Reach your hand out to me; say "It'll be alright"


My distance is really a huge shield of shame
I hate myself, loathe myself and take all the blame


This is not really me; messed up thoughts inside
I want to purge it all leaving my heart open wide


I love you, I need you, I want you near
It's so hard to ask you to wipe up my tears


*Today's reality, skewed and blue
Tomorrow may bring sunshine
And Me back to You.

— The End —