I.
I need your lips on my lips.
I need your hands on my hands.
I need your skin on my skin.
I need to get tangled up in your love, baby;
I don't ever want to forget it.

II.
*******, I can't sleep
And I need you here next to me

III.
Your fingertips write the sweetest of poetry
Every time they touch my skin.

IV.
Letting myself love you
Has been the hardest
and easiest thing
I've ever done.

I won’t give anyone else my heart
Because it’s only been broken once
And once is enough
When I know you won’t be coming back.

I remember the 2am nights
That I miscalculated in trying to see the sunset
But the ink ran off the page.

I went outside and prayed to the Moon
That the pen won’t take my life by the time the Sun sets again.
Then I went inside to rewrite the words covering the trashcan
Until I felt the Sun pat me on the shoulder
Congratulating me.

I spent the day
Scrubbing the wall, floors, myself

The evening Sun told me I was almost there
I was almost cured
Then she frowned at
The new paper I found
And the feather and ink I conjured.

Then I smiled and showed
Her the written words
I tattooed on my chest
“I am the madness in your eyes.”
The Sunset gasped and fainted
As the Moon went to catch her

Then I found myself again
At 2am.
Writing on my last piece of paper;
Waiting for the Sun to rise.

I'm sorry.
I've written this out a thousand different ways
and all I have is a pencil sharpened down to the end
and a paper filled with holes
from erasing too much.

I'm sorry.
I cause problems.
I know.
But all I keep thinking is:
"What if I was enough to make you stay."

Sometimes we don’t know what sober is
Because the sadness makes us drunk
And our happiness makes us high.
Sometimes we’re only completely ourselves when we have a bottle in hand
And a smoke in the other.

a year ago
we were talking about my (then recent) breakup

He's such a poison it's not even funny

today i finally realized you weren't talking about my ex.
you were talking about the boy with the curly hair and dark brown eyes sitting across from me:
the one i just confessed my love to.

Write me a story

Where there’s good and bad.

Write me a story

Using only the beautiful words in your head.

Write me a story

About love and lust

And how to differentiate between the two.

Write me a story

Short and Sweet

About the time you fell for me

And I for you.

Write me a story

That will make me fall in love with flaws,

Then write me a story

That will make me lust after perfection.

Write me a story about the time you got your heart broken for the first time

And you’ve never felt right since.

Write me a story

About what you’ve learned.

Write me a story

in smeared red ink

Tell me how it’s a metaphor

Because red is the color of love

Yet also of pain.

Write me a story

About your shift in feelings

From her to me.

Write me a story

About all the mistakes you’ve made

And all the ones you plan on making.

Write me a story

About when you lost yourself

Then found yourself.

Write me a story

Where there’s a hero

And the villain lies within himself.

Finish the story.

Tell me how he saved himself.

We made deals with boys,

Like one would with the devil.

We committed crimes to achieve:

Attention,

Happiness,

Beauty, and

Anything else they wanted.

But every deal has a price to pay

And I paid the ultimate price

When I realized I committed all the wrong crimes,

Because you still didn't love me.

I wanna be half-drunk on your bed with your arms around me as you listen to me talk about stupid things that make no sense. Please understand you make me feel safer than I've ever felt. So I’m sorry if I have to hold onto your hand the whole night just to prove to myself that you are real.

But I guess I’ll make do with my own bed. Cuddled under my own blankets wishing you here.

You knew me when
I came to you,
Drunk in the middle of the morning
Begging for forgiveness
Because from all my mistakes
You’re the only one who could make me forget them

You knew me when
We would sit on my front porch
And I would read a book.
You hated the silence
Because you were so uncomfortable around me

You knew me
The first time you cried around me
And I didn’t know what to do
Sympathy wasn’t my forte
And you realized I didn’t fit into the stereotype.

You knew me when
When I left.
Because the only reason I couldn’t stay
Was because I wasn’t strong enough
But you knew that I was stronger than you
And you could lift over 100 pounds.
It wasn’t cowardice I was running from
I was running towards a new beginning
Because you knew I hated staying in one place for too long

You knew me when
I didn’t even know myself
And I couldn’t stand to look at myself
Because I couldn’t stand to look at you.
I got mad
And you let me
Because you knew it was only the distance
That was killing me

You knew me when
I first said
“I love you.”
And you knew
I meant it.

I know every time you pick up the phone you want to call me
I’m always the first thing on your mind when you’re alone
When no one cares for you,
You care for me
I don’t understand why you come around;
Why you wanna make me want you
When you don’t even want yourself.

Even though I was the burning flame
You were still my only light.

Sometimes I drown
But my eyes are dried out rivers
Begging for the clouds
That will never come.
Sometimes I’m not strong enough
To admit that
It’s been forever
Since I’ve shed a tear.

And I don’t know how to feel
Unless my throat burns.

I don’t know how to
At all;
Anything.

But last night I cried
Until I laughed
And I’m still drowning in both.

poem lines that read
i love you
i love you
i love you
because those are the only important words
that a poem for you should ever read.

This is not a poem
And this isn’t poetry.
This is my shaking heads
And blubbering thoughts as the tears stream down my cheeks

Because sadness is more relatable
Than my happiest days

I never realized
how bruised my body was
until the day you left.

I am a collection of the people I have left

I am not a toy you can throw away once you’re done with it.

But if you’re fine with that then I guess I am too.

Just one question…

Does she know?

Does she know that once you’re done with her you’ll leave her like you did me

With no rhyme or reason?

Does she know that you’re as big as an ocean wave and once you knock her down you’ll recede back into the ocean

Leaving her with sandy beach bottoms?

Does she know what you’re going to do once you get bored with her?

Or will you claim that after dealing with me you’re a changed man?

And that because of me you’ve learned your lesson and have become a better man?

Because God forbid you hurt her like you hurt me

I.
I remember the first day I met you
At that stupid gas station.
I remember it was raining and
You said you hated pumping other people’s gas.

II.
You kissed me
And I fell
Hard.

III.
I put the note under your door
Hoping you wouldn’t be home.
I didn’t feel like knocking;
I didn’t want you to answer.

IV.
You told me you cried
When I left.
I cried
When I realized
I didn’t deserve you.

my poor broken-hearted boy
you search for love
from the one person who can't give it.
Me.

How can I write away these feelings,
When you’re in every crevice of my mind
Your voice follows me around
And I’m constantly looking over my shoulder for your familiar smile
My heart is heavy with all the your empty promises
And my mind is wrapped around your sweet lies
How could I want to read all about the love stories you wrote
When I know every one is about me

The worst part about being your friend
Is that there are the good times
And bad times.
Everyone seems to forget the latter.
Not every friendship is about how much time you spend together
Or how much you tell each other
It’s about how much you trust each other
When you’re miles apart.

I was never in love with you

I was in love with sleeping next you

I was in love with the way your body felt curled up next to mine

to keep my body warm

because the nights are cold

but no matter how close you get to me

my heart will always be colder

and I’m sorry you couldn’t be more than a body to me

no one’s ever been able to thaw me out

How am I supposed to tell her,
"Yeah it turns out I do have feelings.
And it turns out they're with the boy you just ******" ?

The one thing I always hated about myself
Is that I don’t know how to start things
But once I do I don’t know how to stop them.