It was much better staring at the ceiling
Living life was better without feeling
Lying with her
Life was a blur
I never thought I'd die
It was too hard to say goodbye

We lived in New York
All the wine was uncorked
Your dress may have been red
You are I were secretly wed
And all this must have led
To how I ended up dead

I was nothing but a con man
But she stole my heart again
Now I'm conning my life
For just one more night
They all say I'm dying
But at least I'm trying

She won't tell me where it was
She can't feel my love buzz
She'll pull the plug now
She'll go hang with a new crowd

I can see you right now
Wondering how
We got like this
Can we even speak of it?

I know you say this is loud
And how you are so proud
Of what you have done
The battle you won

Reign over the puppy
Like rain over a puppy
I may get a bit fussy
And I may be a bit rusty

It's that time of year
Right after the buckets of cheer
Resolutions to lose waste
After you just stuffed your face
And then you'll shed a tear
Cause you can't finish a race

Oh I know, this year I want good luck
Why don't you stop for a good ****
Get you out of this conservatism
And in to anarchism
Get out of this rut and muck
It's like politics in a monarchism

Oh this year I'll be different
No this year you end with repent
Just like the last
Stuck in the past
You could be a parent
Or end up being chaste

Oh I want to focus on relationship
Congrats, you got kissed on the lip
At midnight
Let's set sight
Don't throw a fit
Let's hang tight

There is no "new year new you"

You can change
Just don't rely on your calendar
to do it for you

There's an old drunk begging
His girl left the wedding
He'll get messed up
Then I'll fess up
"I took that thing from you today
yeah she's upstairs waiting to lay
down with me tonight
and we'll be under the moonlight"


He didn't much like that
That stupid ignorant ****

So I looked in his eye
And I said with a sigh
"Yeah that girl dress in white?
What do you want to fight?
I can barely stand the sight
of you
I can't believe the height of you."

At this point he raises from his stool
I was ready for a duel
But in fact
When he stood
He fell through the wood
And this ended the night
Of the knight who thought he could

I'm up and I'm moving
She's sleeping so soundly
I guess I had my way
Now I'm gone till May
And will she know I really care?
I mean we're one
Hell of a pair
I need you more than ever
I just need a clever
Way to say
"Let me back in"
Let me black out

Last time we spoke
I gave you a name
I gave you a coat
And me to blame
Now i need a coke
Need a friend
Because we will never end
So I'll send
Myself away
Till May
And maybe
just maybe
I'll stay

One:

We fell in love by accident at the wrong time
I stole her away from someone not worth her time
but i still stole her
and for that i never forgave myself
and i think she could tell
We fought a lot
not really about any thing at all
but hey, that's love
My first love
My Lost Love

Two:
She can't keep a hair color to save her life
When I met her it was a soft blonde
She fit well because she soft and quiet
Not at all like the monster she is now
with her alcohol and her ******
Her and I were not meant to be
Which ***** cause i liked her
but i could never figure out why
She filled my daydream and fantasies
My Fantasy Love

Three:
This girl
She has sweaters
and steals my hoodie
I'm basically her pillow
but she gave me advice
understood parts about me
no one else did
impossible things
My Impossible Love

Four:
She's special
unique
all three wrapped in to one
**** package
She won't leave for a long time
i also wont know her for a long time
it's true
i haven't met her
My True Love

I still hate me sometimes
I tell myself I'm better
And everyone says I am
But  why do feel so awful

Down the street
I will meet
The girl that changed everything
Taught me to love
Hate
And reciprocate
We don't talk much anymore
Talking is such a bore

I like to think
She thinks
About that loser
But if she did
Then he wouldn't be
Behind this screen
Talking so clean

I know it's over
I know Clover
And we only hung out
When I was sober
I don't regret it
I'm actually glad
Because then i was
stupid, mean, and bad

This isn't making light
Or making sense
But making love
Wasn't a penance
Making me who i am
Is a million and one thanks

So thank you
Whatever you're doing
If you're moving
Or soothing
Someone else at night
Because, for a while,
You were my only light

                                                          ­                  With Love,
                                                           ­                                       **E.H.

Here alone i stand
My feet are torn upon this land
Where my heart will meet
And with this hand I will beat

I have my white rock
Under my roof i will lock
The pipe is busted now
Oh hey there's that lighter i found

There's the path that leads
Bits and pieces that i need
To survive this night
I will be the thing that frights

Knock at my door
Maybe I'll get some more
No, men are storming in
Ask to sign with no pen

All I've got is blood
And this one diamond stud
It will be the last
It will be a thing of the past

Little Angel
I almost broke your wings
Little Angel
I love her voice but she never sings

Hey Satan
Why are you killing me
Hey Satan
I'm trying to be free

Angel's killing me slowly
Taking her time
Satan's in the cage
But she's still in my mind

Hello little lady
Why can't you let me go
I'll show you the way
Just go home

I wanna take my time
Send you to see
I wanna go slowly
Why can't I be free

I stroll down down these lanes
Making sure they're in shape
The voice calls me up
I think my time is up
Now it's dark
Not a single car
Will be seen
Here tomorrow
Least not till the doors open
And I'm here again
I was only hoping
It would be ten

Now I'm caged at the spot
You know the one
Where you are not
I took over the reins
Because you jumped on the trains

Make sure I wipe my feet
Another day that will repeat
I'm sick of this routine
I don't want to be seen

This place is such a chore
All the people are such a bore
I've got my secret in my drawer
This place is not my store

It's my place of work

I broke a girl's heart

another girl broke mine

My friend thinks I betrayed him


And my cousin was in a car wreck and has lost feeling in both his legs

So don't ask if I'm okay

Sorry for what I did
I'm sorry I made you think
I'm sorry for all the **** I pulled
I'm sorry for it all
and I wish it'd just stop

I don't know where that came from
Or what made you start
I'm sorry that we aren't the same
I'm sorry

I don't have a Mustang
or a '67 Impala
I've got a sweet little thing
That sings while I'm in the shower
I've got four-door sedan
And a five-year plan

I'm a good kid with nothing to lose
I want my cigarettes and *****
I'm not stuck on the past
Or going too fast
You made an impression
Now an omission
I'm not trying to be
I'm just trying to see

Leave me hoping
Let's go eloping
You and I need to render
Can't talk to me
Unless I've got my fender

Leave your track marks
On the table
And you said I wasn't stable

Leave for your love of lust
I thought I could trust
You were just another pawn
I stayed up till dawn

Leave the house at daybreak
Daydreams are awake
Try to keep me by the lake
I will surely make
You understand

"Notice me Senpai"

Something that started as a joke
But now it's just fact
But if you try to tell me that
You were just kidding
I will take my bidding
I'm the winner of the prize
Oh yes I am
Wisemen of the wise

You were always my favorite
I was always celibate
You said I was full of it
Maybe in the moshpit

Say my name
No not that one
Say the one you say to me
When you're lonely
Say the one that will tame
The one that my heart won

Leave us for a shot at fame
All it brought was pain
Everyone involved
Problem un-resolved
My father left me for dead
I cried on the bed
He took the easy way out
Now I'll ***** and pout

Dont try to understand
Don't try to comprehend

I will cry away the hurt
I cried the worst
For someone that I didn't know
Someone who never showed
Their face

The source of my frustration
Is the temptation
To be like him
But he never tried to live

He should've ******* lived

Think I'm gonna stay here right?
Go on with your life
I'm fine
I'll just take it out with this knife
With your initials to fight with
Take the knife and I'll bite it
It's more dull than the words I write with
Sharpen my words with a blacksmith
Words are my blacksmith
I hope my words are worth it
Worthless words withering
Oh god I think I'm shivering
Emily Bronte's heights, Wuthering

You say I'm
Insane
Wait up
I'm in the rain
Hold up
I'm in pain
Shattered window pane
Listen to what I'm saying
I'm waiting
For you to notice me
Woe is me
Tonight

You'll believe me tonight
Tonight
I'll fight with me
Darling
My baby girl
My starling
Don't try leaving
I'm be-lieving
I'll be leaving

Love...
Love....
Love..... Please
Love me deeply
Give me your love
Before I start weeping

Hey how are you doing
It's good to see you moving
Back on your feet
Instead of in my dreams
I'm left with a decision
One i failed to mention
I'll call you at 2AM
We can stay up until we're ******
So

I really wanna see you fly
I really wanna see you try
Tonight

Don't tell me it's joke
Don't say I'm wrong
I know you were ******
And waiting everlong

I will try to heal
I will try to seal
The seal
I had
Because I'm a guy
Who hadn't said goodbye
Why

Because a part of me
is a part of you
But they're apart from the part
That's a part
Of
My
Heart

I'm delirious and paranoid
Serious and devoid
Of all hope and ending
I'll live forever
I'll keep on lending

Sell my soul
For a bowl
Of Mary Jane
She staring through the grass
How much time had passed
I've been in so much pain
For you Mary Jane

Maybe a hit or two
I've missed you
Seep in to my lungs
I've been strung out
In the car
Up to par
With the star
Of the show
I've had enough grass
Time for some blow

*******
Get me happy again
*******
Leave me to blame
*******
Take away all the pain
*******

The high is done
I had some fun
Yellow submarine Beetle
Time to get my needle

Heorin
Relaxation eminent
******
I'm dead there within
******
Herein lies the lies we've told
and the soul I sold

You remind me of the connection
We held with such conviction
Even the smallest of things
Turns in to the biggest of likings

I want to hate
To repress the fate
I've made in my mind
That you were mine
But how can I hate you
You cheer me up when I feel blue

Our biggest problem wasn't us
It was tall, dark,  and contagious
Dumb, jealous,  and dangerous
Friends are full of trust...
*******

Opposites attract
Just as light refracts
To make something beautiful
The love was gone, I was full
I was impatient
I was swimming in a pool
Of jealousy and misery

My one chance of something real
Something rash I did seal
Cards given on the wrong deal
If I had only waited another meal

I'm passed out
Losing myself
I struck out
C.D. bottom shelf
Take me
Away
That's all I've got to say

You're so nice
and pure

Please be
My cure

I've got a crush on you
don't say I'm a tool too
I'm ****** up
****** up
Passed out on the floor
By the door
I'll stay listening
You'll be glistening
White rock
keeps me rocking
please don't come knocking
Unless you've changed your mind

Poetry
A series of words
Creating emotions

These stanzas
Making sentences
Words
Letters
In to something beautiful

And these letters will be the death of me

Carcinogens are boring

Leader of the pack
Packing leading rounds
Rounds of Jack's giant hounds
Jack is with Jake
By the lake
Molly's with Kurt
And he's a bit more then hurt
They'll get together
And raid the nether

Jack turned on Jake
Molly at the lake
Lake at the night
Molly's night of light
Kurt threw a fit
And fell to the moshpit
Jake like a feather
Just invaded the nether

Ricky with a knife
Staking his life
Jack and Molly
And Kurt almighty
Wanted to stay rightly
Ricky came for Heather
Who was in the nether

Oh, they're already gone
Gone to a better sun
They're all together
At the bottom of the nether
And you thought you knew better
Wet winter weather

She says
I'm insecure
I'm just obscure
Well thats pays
When you're in a world so pure

She says
She's all alone
She's not shown
Me where it fades
I'll watch my tone

I say
You're just a girl
Smells like Marlboro
I'll meet you in May
So you can see the world
Without me

Before you leave
I have to say
I just want you to stay
I want you to be relieved
When I say you can stay
With me

What do you say?
What will you say?
Will I just stay and wait?
Meet my fate.
You were too late.

You need to be here
Just one more time
Once is enough to fear
Fear me when I'm blind
I haven't thought of you in weeks
You were never on the peaks
Of my mind

I am all I was then
I'm not a wise men
But at least I am heaven sent
So you told me
Up that hollow oak tree

You haven't thought about it
You have a new orchid
Maybe things will change
After hell rains away
I'll run out of my cage

I'll run to the field
I'll put down my shield
We can lay forever
Run from whatever
Bask in a poppy field

Be with me
Once more
We can be
At the core
Right before
They toss us to shore

Victim of society
Lost up in the tree

Fall down like a leaf
I'll hang on a wreath

General public
oh no
Won't like it
oh no

Now my blood boils
Thinking of the spoils

You took from me baby
I've been missing you lately

Oh no
That girl
Took my pearl

You were my cup of peppermint tea
Now I drink black coffee

You were afraid of the dark
But the darkness in your heart guided you

You and I were different from the start
You wanted daisys
And I wanted roses

I wanted you
You wanted a tool

Drink my tea while you're still here
Remember the sweetness

Drink the bitterness when you're gone
Reminds me that you aren't here

Lately, I've just stopped caring because the favor was never returned to me.  What scares me is the boundaries of reality bashed in to my skull.  While you, you go beyond your imagination to create a world of color and illustrated illusions. Proving, once again, that you,not I, were better off in the first place.  The lesson I learned; People don't want your help.  They want your attention and half-assed give a crap attitude. They want you to listen and nothing more.

I've been driving all night long
To just hear your voice
This lonely highway
Has given me the choice
To end it all
But I'm gonna keep
I'm gonna keep on
I'm gonna drive through the wall

I'm not afraid of fire
But I'm afraid of getting burnt
Am I scared of the fire burning in my heart
Are you scared that the fire was in you from the start
I will cut down trees for you darling
But they will just grow back again

Love won't mess with me any more
Neither will you
Invade my mind with promises
It's the only thing I look forward to

There's a million pieces of us
They're sharp and dangerous

I don't know what love is
But I know what it's not

Now that the time is done
and we had some fun
You and me and her and him
And that one **** nun
We'll **** that ******* sight
Maybe she'll put up a fight
You and me and her and him
Will have a hell of a night

I need something more
To clog up this pore
To pour this artery
Into ******* tea
It'll taste just as bitter
As that kiss with me

I will come at dawn
To mow that metaphorical
Immoral
******* lawn
I will cut
Every blade of grass
It'll taste like glass
You and me and her and him
Will have a hell of a blast

We can go to sleep
You'll be mine to keep
I promise you will never
Feel a love so deep
You and I will weep
At other street
You and me and her and him
Will never meet

Cause I'm home
And I've shown
That I've known
You and I (oh no)
Will say bye bye
Look me in the eye
One last time
I told you I didn't care
That was a lie
You and me and her and him
Will get to say Hi

You and me and her and him
Will never die

Been a long time coming
But I'm still coming strong
If you thought I'm all alone
I guess you thought wrong

I'm surrounded by the whole world
Right?
While you're in your little room
locked tight

I've had so many feelings
Not all of them stay
But this one has stuck with me
Ever since May

You think im dumb and different
But you're just conforming
I'm my own person
It took some time, some forming

Cigarettes love me
All of it's above me

These Converse that I'm rocking
Are just a reminder
Want something from me?
Then you better come knocking

Time to kick up the distortion
Listen up kids
And get some absorption

Next time you love me
Be prepared to lose me
Next you time you hate me
Make sure you're hasty

Got my 1-Up cap
And I'm kicking down the street
Got my hood pulled up
Waiting for us to meet

Get back to the future
Like Marty McFly
You're still gone
And I'm still alive

I like to know I'm still on your mind
you think of me when you write
That brightens my day
And darkens the night

I still think of you
All the time
And though you push me away
You bring back this heart of mine

If I had I to choose between
Heaven with everyone
or Hell with you
Hell would be more fun

I like you
I'm not sure you know
I'm like you
Not the status quo

I'm not going anywhere
You're not leaving me yet
If I had to let you go
That would be my one regret

You're with me
And I'm with you
We can have some good times
And can have some fun ones too

I'm a ***** fowl-mouthed mutt
With a leash like no other
I've seen your light of day
It compares to no other

An Angel in disguise
Holds my collar tight
If I fight back
I'll surely lose sight

A mutt sees different shades of grey
But you made me see
You're in control
Not me

I do a bit more than care
If I do as I heed
And and I do as you say
I'll have more than I need

You're fair but strict
And you've never been wrong
Before but now you're being crazy
Waiting everlong?

While I'm still on a leash
You're still my drug
Poison me slowly
And teach me to run

Tease me enough?
You look at me with those eyes
And as they meet mine
A piece of me dies

We're both control freaks
A mutt and an Angel
Fighting for one thing
Who's going headfirst into hell

I know I'm bad
I know I'm a mutt
And if you say so
I guess I'll stay put

Tug on my ear
Tell me to go
Tell me to fetch
The answer won't be no


Before you no nickname was right
Say it and I'm on the seed of poppy
The name stuck for a reason
I'm just another puppy

If I told you I'd stay
Would you leave me?

If I told I'd go
Would you believe me?


Our group thought we were wrong
Thought you were long ways gone
Thought I was In over my head
Well I guess I should've said

I adore you
I believe you
I will show you

Please
Appease me

I am one of a kind
And I've already signed
My name to your grave
You've already have it made

Well I'm spoiled
Because of you

And you don't believe
The date is due

Before I quit
and give on it
I remember all the ****
You said in the pit
And I will be thing that fits
You in the dark

Im over here
Over there
I'm in the dark
Afraid of fear

Here I am
Let me lie here
On the maple
I'm incapable

Taking me
Taking you
Taking my little secret
Making a few more

Be a friend
Be better because I said so
Because I said no

I won't run away now
You can run away now
You can bask in the sun
You can wait alone there
I will wait for you here
I will wait with you there

I'm in my head
With my friend

I'm a bit happy
But you're a bit of fool

We are just people here
We just aren't special here

I'll just go and wait inside
While im feeling so confided
I will feel the oncoming tide
And it will feel like I've been invited

Here I stand
Atop the world again
You and I were there together
Not that long ago

I'm counting down
The days until we meet again
Our lips and our eyes

The "Us" of tomorrow
Won't live today
We're living in the sins
Of yesterday

**** up the sins
and take the pills

The light never shined
Quite as bright
When you looked me in the eyes
That one night

The "Us" of tomorrow
Will strive today
We'll learn from mistakes
Of yesterday

We will show them
Who's the best

They're not gonna like us
In the nest

We're gonna leave
in the morning
Just as long
As the rain is pouring

Now the "us" of tomorrow
is now
Guess I'll show you
The rest somehow
The "us" of tomorrow
lives today
when we're fighting
In the battles of yesterday

Let me neglect your voice
Let you out of my head
If I told you I tried
Well I didn't try enough

That's gonna change
Believe me now
I'll show you how
You can have me

I'll tell you everything
And every thought
Run across my barren wasteland
Of a mind

And if you're still there
By the end of my story
You can have
All the stolen glory

Nervously sliding my hand
To the soft spot tissue
That is your hand
And as our fingers interlock
I'm not at all shocked

But my heart is racing
My head is calm
My hand is shaky
And you're just there

Expresionless

Your sweater
and brown hair
are all I have
To make it through the day

Your embrace
and your laugh
Belong to you

Could I borrow them for class?
I'll give them back at lunch

Can I borrow you?
Be mine for a while
We can go a mile
or two

In my stupid car
with my bad music
And my shaky hands

I'll go slow
Not to worry you
I'll take the backroads
Cause where we're going
There isn't a main road
to get to where we're going

We're going away
Leaving this town
This state
We're going to travel
The whole wide world
And as long as you're in bed
By sundown
Then I'll be happy
As long as you're happy

Fill me up
Top me off
I just can't get enough

Give me the needle
I'm in a situation, medical
I just can't get enough of this chemical

It'll play with you
Make you believe
Make you see
Skies of blue

Take you away
Bask in the sun
Up on plateau
Feeling found fun

When the feeling is gone
And there's not enough
Need a new source
Well that's tough

The chemical killing me
Has left to die

I'm waiting for the next dose
Coast to the next host

The chemical flies like a dove
It's name is love

I've slept so soundly
Not to be fooled
I've broken down
Please don't frown

As you go on
Keep me waiting
I've done all I could
Didn't break wood

I can't just wait
Cause this could be fate
I'll do it all
Just for one date

One chance
One life
One time
To show you how much you mean
To
Me

Foolishly opening my eyes
I see a damsel in disguise
Heart broke and anguish
Wakefulness and weightless

Screaming like hell
To be stopped by a bell
Off in the distance
Before I know it
I'm defenceless

A riot starts
not with fires or knives
All out pain and ryse

I'm burning up
Filling up
Fast like a stallion
With Hate and Torment
A soul per gallon

There's a man on a throne
And it's made full of bone
Full of sticks
and it's shown

I'm exactly where I thought
I feel like I've been shot
I know that I'm not
It's the only feeling I've got

An eternity here
My body there

My head hurts
And my body thirsts

I'm part of the millions of souls
Playing the role

I'm a demon
And I'm seeing
The monster I'm being

I'm in Hell
how ironic
And I'm just swell

Good to have you back
I'm not gonna slack
Gonna clean up the act
Cause I haven't done jack

Since you left
I've been thinking
What could go wrong

I'm acting right
Acting dumb
Singing this stupid song

I'm driving over the limit
Not fast enough
To glide over
this cement

I think I just wrecked my car
Way
too
far
Gone

I've been waiting for this day
Waited a light year
And I'm still waiting here
Been waiting for the day I'll say
I'm
The ultraviolet ray

I say hi
You say hey

Lost in translation
and along the way
I say

I think it's great you're moving on
And I'm glad you're having fun
Give someone else attention
The affirmation that they won

Lost the battle
and the war
Lost the girl
Still want more

Wanting every single word you said
Wanting single word again
Wanting the last thing you spoke
Wanting your sacred stone

But mostly
I'm
just
Wanting

I'm not here to be your friend
I've just got a message to send

Remember the word
You said at night
I correctly heard
The lasting fight

Between you and me
Forever colliding
Concluding conflict
that ended fencing

Passion fruit
Kicked
with a steel toe boot

Red satin sheets
And undying weeds
Are just as lovely
As you are roughly

Tight grip
killing me
locked in
eternity

Now I'm free
But I'm caged in
Now you're gone
Some are waiting

Eagles fly
and humans die

Trains don't stop
if there's blood to mop

Holding the candle
feels like an anvil

Off the wagon
with the body I'm dragging

The one yellow dress
you have is in the floor
of your red room
with your CD's
By the door

Chester in the corner
Missing heart in the other
Missing you in my
Missing heart
Why even bother

Books on the shelf
In alphabetical order
Cross the line
It's the border

Handmade blanket
handmade pillow
Listen to
Wheeping willow

Love with the lights off
Love the night on
Lust when no one is looking
Strawberry cake cooking

I have to leave
One last time
I have to go
It's half past nine