Sometimes I want to tear you out,
Rip open my chest,
And in the blood remove you,
Like a shiny, pointed object,
Placed in me by an enemy,
I feel weak, and foolish
With you in my possession,
Ashamed,
With the traces on my face,
I haven’t learned how to love you,
And in my youthful fumbles,
Give in to impulses I don’t understand,
But you’re not to be used,
I guess you were abused,
And what inch of my body doesn’t hide a scar?
It’s my fear of you,
That makes me shred my soul,
Slit imagined arms and wrists,
And crawl to God for help.
You cannot be ignored,
You cannot be hidden,
Without breeding monsters.
I long to stand in wholeness,
And admire with my head up,
Facing *** and chemicals,
With a knowledge of my worth,
And firm understanding of sin.
For too long,
They didn’t say,
Did not speak,
Did not know,
Could not teach me,
The way to treat you with love,
If they had,
Perhaps I would not have wanted to hear,
But I would have listened,
I feel sorry for them,
I guess no one taught them either.
It is ok,
To be confused,
It’s not my fault,
If I’m afraid,

If I tell them,
That they failed,
Then they’ll tell me,
What it’s too late for me to hear,
Someone else will have to teach me,
For their words burn my ears,