You could pull on my hearg strings
And play the melodies you like
You could have all of me
And could become my life
I've been walking blindly
And you could be my light.

I could give up my habits, my addictions
And let you be my new affliction
I've been dividing  myself
And you could be the greatest addition
I've been walking blindy
And you could be my vison.


You could calm my strife
You could be the one to fix my sight.

When you bend something
It will strike back and bend you
This is the relationship
Between society and nature.

Sie sind das meer mein Rhein.
Ich mochte nun das gleiche gilt wenn man nicht die meinen.

Sie befinden sich der regen auf meine elbe.
Die strome der liebe haben mich zum Anschwellen.

Liebe und Wasser verdunsten kann.
Und alles hat ein ende
Sie moge die liebe Seine die gleiche wie sie liebte den Rhein.

Minnesang

You are the sea to my Rhine
I would dry up the same if you weren't mine.

Your are the rain to my Elbe
The rains of you love have caused me to swell

Love and water evaporate in time
And everything has a end
You may love the Seine the same as you loved the Rhine.

I want my body to be post-morden art
I want my actions to be guerilla theatre
I want all my words to be poerty
I want my reality to be surreal

I want my mouth to be a ampilfer for my heart.
I want to be a teacher
I want the world to know every part of me
I want you to know how i feel.

This is an ode to a boyhood I wish not to remember
But it can't be put out like a cigarette's embers
Yet it burned my skin tender
I hope to mail it off in letters, no return address for sender

If only to be washed away by a April rain
Down the streets of my youth into old and forgotten storm drains
But the recollection remain, in the banks of my mind forever stained

The levies will break and the ground to mud
As the river floods
The current warm like our blood
We will say what has time done to us

Talk is cheap but still feels too expensive.
when did my heart and mind end on the for-rent list.
I would play you any song but only disappointment is on the set list.
I'll ask the genie at the bottom of the bottle for that last wish.

I might always be sad, but you'll never not be a liar
I hope these things come to you in those lonesome hours
I'm still buring with all of my passion
But worthless were my words and actions.
You get what you give, all you do is take
I hope I see the day your skeleton crumbles and your bones break.

My father always told me to do your best  But what if my best isn't good enough
A good life is a goal I can't reach
Still from your glass houses you still preach
A stable family life and money isn't something you can't teach
You can hide your flaws behind logo jackets and the newest smart phones
I drag mine across this stage because of a shattered  home and  these destructive thoughts that keep me from holding my own
Desinger outerwear and a iPhone six can't heal scar or broken bones
A strong male role model or a caring creator would still leave me to roam
So **** the hypocritical south and **** whistling Dixie
I don't think church or pharmaceuticals can fix me
So **** your dreams of Mayberry and this town I'll never miss
So **** the weight I carry and **** my last childhood wish
I could overcome and get away from all of this.

They drank the river dry
And with parched lips
Looked up to the sky
For even more.

They cut all the trees
And with a gasp
Later asked
Where's our beautiful view.

They send prayers and pollution
Into the air
And wonder why
Why acid rain is the only response

You should have killed me with our last kiss
You did worse things with those lips
Helen off beauty alone send an armada to war
But you alone could turn back those ships
They say the pen is mighter than the sword
But I need more for the devils in my Ink
They say love is in the eye of the beholder
I guess that's why's it's gone in a blink

I'm worried about in the evil in half my blood
From the man I share a name with
Drive towards brown liquor like mud
These genetics come with shame as a language
I've seen the face of the beast

It'll take what makes me,me
What makes live worth living
It's hunger knows no ending
And my body will start giving
It will swallow me whole
Starts with a taste
Take my mind,heart ,and soul
I will forget your face
And it always starts slow
Nothingness will take your place
Like my father before me and his before him
To everything I love it will give chase
And it's devours at a whim
Nothing will be safe
Send to the wind
I know it will take me and hold me
I must travel this road and I know what's beyond the bend
Not knowing yourself or your own life,the things that should be your only
Please no, just not today
Please no,any other way
To those I care this is my last will and testament
I will always love you,even if I can't remember it

The light from our eyes left
And started burning bridges
Jesus came off the cross
Even heavenly love has a limit
I'm tired of the rat race
And now I just wait for a finish
I know that God has left
Cause we were made in his image.
Heads with crooked smiles, two faces
Rubber necks on high horses led to collisions
A way of love built on a foundation of hate
Hypocrisy is just mental division
It might be a cold sun or four horsemen
But I won't wait here for him to end It.

I awoke next to the precipice
and found I mirrored the void
A boy like me was meant not to create but to destroy.
We treat each other lives like the way children treat toys.

I tries to create truths out of your lies,
I would have a better chance pulling warmth from your eyes.
What you spoke was such beautiful inventions
You fooled me in that you matched my conviction
Can you tell that I'm bitter?
You gave me a cold shoulder to remind me it's winter.

I've seen the sun rise over the Atlantic
Just like love, i couldn't plan it
In your eyes i saw all the planets
The Milky Way never seemed such a beautiful vantage
But love is a game and life has the cruelest advantage
Drift into my orbit, I may just manage.

I always thought it odd
When you took me to the abc store
Walking the rows of liquor
Like of the pews of a church

Showing your son
what he was worth
Less than ***** less than the beer
I wasn't the thing that you loved here

It slowed you breathing, thinking, and fear
It formed it a distance
A whiskey sea between you and me
Its just not something I can swim
Its form a bottle around you
I don't care to get in
Your in a fight ,I know you can't win
I no longer ask how,why, when
So I'll wait for the end.

Like I waited for a father
Someone to mold me into a man
I grow tried of waiting
And make my image with my own hand
I won't follow in your stumbling footsteps
And won't support you when you can't stand
All you are is hateful, timid and destructive
From a broken father is what I construct with
From a man who is nothing, I will be become something.

I've been driving at night
With every seat empty but the drivers
Hoping my mind and the road are the same
It seems to me I'm always in the wrong lane

Streetlights are the only illumination
On a dead and silent nation
I've never been religious
So my tires pray
And an engine's hum
To replace words I can never say

God as in asphalt ,driving to exist

You loved going to your uncle house on the Outer Banks.
I'm Cape Hatteras, standing in the same spot in black and white.
Through the rain and the wave, seeing if I heard you quite right.
I've become a fading light .

I wanna fly away,not  far
just somewhere new
I fade to grey but when I think of you
navy blue
my heart's rest is thin and few
lonely eyes,empty views

plant poppies for fallen soldiers and daisies for my dreams
let them bloom
I've spend all this time holding the ghost of you
in vacant rooms
***** dancing or eat pray love is on the TV, love preys on us
and it always consumes
think back to cliche moments in the rain
bitter sweet ,like children can take off there monster costumes

I've been dancing with the devil over the lost of your grace.
what good are these sleepy eyes
if they never fall on your face
what worse for my hands without
yours to interlace
my mind will run itself tired
but your what it chases
I'll keep running away till I find
Where your embrace is

I'm compelled to pace like it'll lead me home
They've always said that all roads lead to Rome
From what I can tell it must have gone up in smoke, to cloud my already unsteady vision and choke these lungs.
They way it happens when a father is seen playing catch with his son.
But that's a position that can't be won.
So I'll drift to the horizon like the winter sun.
But with twice the silence and half the composure.
So I'll impolde like a super nova
But with twice the passion and half of the exposure.
The end result of looking through open doors for closure

smoking on the creek bed
standing under trees
never say what I mean too
rolling harder than the stream
poster boy for second place
my nightmares were once dreams
I can't sleep much
I still can't trust enough
I can't love ,can't even lust
the person I was is dust
something's killing me but I can't find the source
I keep moving but I have no true north
I'm head over nose ,plane into field
I'm not Jets to Brazil , my lyrics don't fit the bill
"touching you I start to bloom"
I've been doing photosynthesis with no light
I told you I haven't  been living right

Happiness reminds me of a sandcastle
It can be corrodred by the lickings waves
Or taken all at once by the tide of life
But we'll come back and rebulid
It might be larger or smaller
We might destory it on own accord
Happiness is becoming a metaphor
I'm content to watch on the ocean floor

I don't want to be the prodigal son
I don't want to be the un-loveable one
It's hard to know what I  have become

I sit on my back patio and let
Smoke roll like words off my lips
The only thing I'll have of you is
The sound of your voice and the sway of your hips

This is catharsis through slow burn
This is me coming coming to grips on my own terms
I'll just forgot what I've learned
Maybe nothing's eternal,  everything's just food food for the worms.

*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******
*******.

To move on in a week
After two years
Like i never existed
So i ask my walls
As your stand-ins
If you ever miss it

You live across the street
But theres still to much distance
To even speak
I'll change who i am
And hope that the best part of me
Wasn't yours to keep
And be born anew


Here's to the past
And what its taught me
And to all who ask me
"I'm not broken, just bend
I feel empty but im not spent
And someday my body,bed
and heart won't be for rent."
This is to move on.

mind like a phone screen
cracked but not broken
tried to figure what this all means
a door closed, window left open
everyday has become the same
but still wait for tomorrow
like pulling teeth,no novaciane
empty words ,empty sorrows
mental scenes,frame by frame
this sliver screen is hollow

I wake up to the sun and bad news
I've got demons that I can't lose
they keep me running
not sure ,if away from  something or toward nothing
bags under my eyes and drawers full of cigarette boxes
left my heart far from home, don't know where I lost it

the wind carries you name but I won't listen
the rain has your scent
I learned much from living
not every angel is heaven sent
all the the love I was giving
I wonder where it went
alone on these dark nights
like you I learn to cherish it .

All we have is memories
And I don't want them anymore
The smell of your hair
And the way you smiled when you opened the door

All I have is thoughts
and I don't need them anymore
They rob me of rest in my bed
I can hear you voice and your feet on the floor

All I had is feelings
And I don't have them anymore
They left with you and my self worth
And left me on the floor

All I had is you
And I don't need you now
I'll show the scars and the struggles
And I'll know that I'm proud.

I boxed up my life like bundling synapes
And all my pictures and poessions,nerouns
I took my body and mind
And put it somewhere new.

I can hear creaking in the hall but not the one
I reside in. All the windows shine light but in a way different then how i remember. I boxed up my life heading somwehere else for the fall and winter.

If home is where the heart is, then its where i bear whats inside my chest. Where i can walk walk with solid feet, and lay my body to rest. I moved to a new location , but i gained a new apperaction for where home is.

I am a man without a country
A bird without the wind beneath its wings
Cold has been the winter of my ill-content
Spiraling to the ground like the leaves of October;my youth has been spent.  But I am none the  richer,  I have searched for clarity and only blurred the picture.
I let my words speak what I can't with my mouth. What's good the mind of a lion when I have the heart of a mouse? I've looked at myself,compared and contrast ; others have done  the same; that's why love does not last.
I've grown lonely with the wisdom from the less-walked path. It's hard to hold my head  high,  when the weight of the world is breaking my back.
I hope you'll look past the flaws in my nature
But that's not a very strong wager
How can someone with the sweetest smile
Leave such a bad flavor
The sun may set but will soon rise
So I'll wait out the night
To see if there's love in your eyes.

The sins of the father weight heavily on the son
There's blood on my hand for deeds I haven't done.
I've been drafted into a war that can't be won,
I opened my eyes to the barrel of a loaded gun
So I must be the one to break the cycle ,the family tree won't have another whiskey stained leave. I'm not a person that the bottle can keep

There has always been something about rain
It is if the world realizes it is changing and always will
And for a brief moment grieves itself

So a storm rages inside
Hoping to wash myself away

One day I hope
To scream  through a hole in the ozone
And hear it hit the empty vacuum of space
To know God isn't there .

I hope to one day
Look at your picture and
see someone I don't know
To find no beauty there.

One day I hope
To look in the mirror
And see my reflection
And not find my father there.

Today I woke up
With a load in my heart
I have carried it for ages
I hope today to let it go.

There is a lump in my throat
It stops everything I need to say
It is the stopper for all of my bottled emotions
Like a tumor it grows but it won't have the decency to **** me

It makes my thoughts race in my mind to mach the rhythm of my pacing feet.
It's as if I'm running from my myself, my skeleton trying to leave my skin
My heart needs a exodus from my body.
It can turn my legs into cement bricks and a mixture of saliva and feelings into a tide to smash the back of my teeth . My almost useless tounge into a noose for a lanky neck. I always have a lump in my throat.

I rise with with the morning sun
only to die at night again
swallowed whole in the stomach of leviathan
I've been been through the thick
and it's left my body rail thin
my bones may break
I hope they only bend
I grew up and my problems got bigger
understand now why my family hates themselves and their livers
life went from semi-sweet to the worst kind of bitter
I never wanted to start, can I really be called a quitter ?

This is a hard feeling to express
I want my lungs to compress in my chest
I need to get past this self immolation
And find a hold of my emotions

Your eyes are like a wave's peak and I can only hope that the ocean is half as deep.
This isn't the way I wanted for you to rob me of my sleep.
So I spend my nights looking into the ether , only hoping to catch a glimpse of you features.
You have made my bed and left a space, you've painted a portrait and left your face.

They opened your nose
Like the the gap between us
Your vitals danced across the screen
Just like ballerinas

I feel more connected to the leaves that blow across my driveway
Or the trees that stand silently on the highway on these late night drives
I've got to plant my feet and make forward progress
Cauese when I look behind there's nothing left.

I'm grown too tried of the bright lights gleam
And the silent hallways which are painfully  clean.
The white walls hold you in they match your skin, it's hard to see where  they begin, and when this ends

You wanted to live in wonderland
But our love has grown old
I'm young in the face
But tried of my own home.
Gone with the tide, left to roam my  mind.
But it's no place to hide and a memory isn't something I can call mine.

I woke up on the wrong side of paradise
Born this way by the design
To gaze into Eden
To never have it as mine.

I woke up to the locked doors
Of a heaven I could only dream of
I hope to destroy it
To hate the thing I once loved.

Lois Lane in a kyropnite dress
I couldn't see your intentions through flesh
I could only guess and I made the wrong step.
I need to find a new map , retrace and backtrack .
Push you out and found where my heads at.
those promises you made , I can't forget that
nostalgia is the hearts favorite death trap .

Oh dear, your just like seppuku
I always spill my guts to you.
The worlds on my shoulder
You let it break my back
We only getting older
And life is sure to teach of that
Now all the colors are a haze
And your voice starts to fade
Disappointment, a taste I can't place
Your fingers , like the sun warming my face
I've been the walking dead for 12 months now
Was going to finish this for you but I'm just not sure how

I wrestle with my existence
So why would I want a eternal one
But I understand the concept of a father
Giving up his only son I didn't ask be to your Prometheus
I didn't ask for any of this
I'm not you Adam,you didn't breathe life or love into this creation
I'm just a man with no soul or purpose
I only yearn for my own damnation
If I'm your own reflection
Then we are silhouettes of your worthlessness
So I sin without transgression
Because a eternity in hell over heaven would hurt much less.

I'll think of you ,from time to time
Not much else to do, can't make you mine
Just destined to orbit , never to collide
Not one of your secrets , just someone to confide
Your like a infection in my side , you roam all the empty spaces in my mind

Your my favorite book, with all the pages worn
Your my favorite pair of chinos, where only I know their torn.
The calming grace of a of overcast sky, but the of passion of a thunder storm .
All this winter , I've dreamt of keeping you warm.But you have a habit of being where I'm not. Being where I should be and where you are  is where I'm caught .

My skin has become a prison
My tounge a gate for the words
I must confess
My ribs have transformed into a
cage for my chest

Under this prison
These bones quake
Found something to live for
Something to love,they wake

The story goes that a butteruy flapped its wings
And on the other side of the world
A tusunami formed from the same wind.

Others keeping flappings their wings
And sending storms into my life.

Some say to live is to breathe
But they don't see
The forest for the trees
Its the tiny moments that gave peace
So I'll bury myself in the leaves

I'm a lost boy not looking to be found
I'm icarus waiting to hit the ground
There's quiet before the storm
So I'll find peace in the sound.

Sometimes it's not the words we speak
But the sentences and phrases
That are left half complete
These are the words that compete
in a mental foot race called regret
When I said" I love you"  i really meant
" You haven't seen the best part of me yet"
You said I acted if my shoes were made of quicksand
But in stone my ways were set
You said you would always be by my side
But you didn't hesitate when you left.

I haven't gained a home
In the lost and found
I look at the sun now like the barrel of a loaded  gun
And I'm still not fond of the thought of the ground
I'm walk in from the rain and say to no one around
" you haven't seen the best of me yet"

We're all angels with ***** faces attached to warm bodies .
A cage for one internal motor
A grayish-pink mass for our ulterior motives
Crushing together like mismatched locomotives.

My body is physically fine,but it's broken
Are words worse said or unspoken
I walk through every door left unopened
Only hoping,  to find you on the other side.

My mind is steady  but I'm not
Receiving what I  have wrought
My heart will grow hard
Or soft , for you I would stop time.

Tired but I still have hope
You're the ocean to my coast
You may leave but return when I need you most
My arms will be the walls around your heart
And in this home, I'll be your loving host.

Theres a flower on my shelf.

Its was once beautiful just like you
But its petals have dryed and cracked like your skin.
Its stem have grown so stiff just like just your fingers
Its gives me strength just like you did.

It was the flower that they put on me
When i put you in the same earth from which the flower bloomed
Your body's gone now but your essence will return to earth.
And hopefully as as a flower you'll be born anew.

Theres a flower on my shelf, i'll always have you.

I know April is the cruelest month of all but October gets colder every fall.
Not the spring showers or leaves in sheets
But your voice in the wind or leaves in sheets
Colder than a gift from a nimbus or the blanket of a oak. Cold the words you wrote, bury me again with the words you spoke .

we selling ourselves short and spreading each other  thin
I'll push myself out just to let you in in
set your marks and we'll begin again
I won't break but you know I bend
what drives some to the bottle drives me to the pen
set your marks and we'll begin again.