I am a flower.
Hard to handle
At times
Because of my thorns.
However, I am strong,
I can grow, and
I’m beautiful

How can you not see,
That I’m hurting constantly?
I have gone through life,
Worrying about others. But, what about myself?
How can you not try,
Try to help, comfort, support me?
I have to carry others, while I carry myself.
After a while, that carrying becomes too much.
And you have to decide,
Drop others or drop yourself.
And for me,
It’s always myself.
How can you not see,
That I’m constantly hurting?
From the pain of carrying,
Constantly caring,
For others.
Never myself.

People are constantly waiting for something more,
Something better,
Then what they have now.
But why,
Why are people constantly trying to find more,
Experience more,
Live life differently?
When what they could be doing
Is appreciating what they have right
Now.

I literally can’t go to the mall
Without doing my homework first.
And I literally can’t take my money
Without carrying a purse.
I literally can’t text my friends
Without having my parents see.
I literally can’t leave the house
Without having my annoying brother with me.

I literally can’t do this and that.
I literally can’t own a cat.
There are literally so many things I want to do,
But I LITERALLY can’t do those, too.

For as long as the rain falls,
I have to admit,
I’ll be falling too.

I have been sitting,
Waiting,
Hoping,
Praying,
That you’d come back to me.
You’d see that what you left behind is someone who was special.
Is special.
But I continue to pray,
Hope,
Wish,
And sit
Until you come back home.
Where you belong.

I am constantly misread.
By the way I speak,
The words I write,
And the actions I do.
Everything is analyzed in such a way, today
That there is no way around it.
We are criticized,
Yelled at,
Belittled,
Because of words we did not say.
But for the interpretations people take from our
Words we speak,
Words we write,
And actions we do.
Life was simple back then
When I wasn’t constantly misread.

Breathe in,
Rise up.
Down dog,
And twist.
Serenity washes over you.
You are strong, you are complete, you are able.
Breathe out.

I am an empty coloring book,
Waiting for someone to add color to my life.
The closest I’ve ever come to being a colorful being
Was when you walked into my life.
I didn’t know how my life could be like this.
Your words, my smile, our conversations
Were all watercolors scattered between it all.
There were pinks and reds and blues.
Then it turned black and white again,
When you decided it was time to go,
Move on to somewhere new.  
And I was left waiting,
To become a bright watercolor masterpiece once more.

A circle is never-ending.
And I want to think
That is what we are.

I tried to let go,
Of who I was before.
But the weight of the past just kept
Tugging
and pushing
me backward.
I know where I am now is where I need to be.
But there’s always that thought that pops into my mind.
That I should have taken an alternate path.
Maybe that would have brought me to a better place,
A safer place,
A place I would rather be.

I would write about my feelings toward you,
but I can't write.
And I would draw about my feelings toward you,
but I can't draw.
So, I guess, I'll just stay quiet,
and admire you from afar.