my only wish
is that you would
see yourself
through my eyes,
a warrior heart
with magic swimming
in your veins.
maybe then
you would understand.

another night passes
another moon
risen between us
yet when the night quiets
when the stars whisper
begging for secrets
i find myself
thinking of you
of days spent
basking in your light
crystaline eyes
pulling me under
of how the words left unsaid
will always linger
and i can't help but wonder
if i'll always be
drowning in your ghost.

i can no longer remember
your voice with such clarity
when you'd say my name
in those moments
of temptation
yet i have learned
that hands can remember too,
they twitch and burn
feeling for you in the dark
searching for the fingers
that once wrapped around them
like a phantom limb
the memory of you
scorched into them
too deep to be lost.

today i felt the sun
gently kiss
the back of my neck
and it reminded me
of y o u.

now i understand,
that i have always
been enough

i just wasn't
enough for you.

if there is one thing
that meeting you
has taught me,
it's that love doesn't wait
for you to catch up.

love me in the darkness
i want to feel
your breath on mine,
our demons dancing
under the sweet moonlight.
only you have the power
to peform an exorcism
so beautiful,
even fate herself
can't help but watch.

maybe if i wrap our memories
in cellophane
they won't escape me
like you did.

i'll never understand
how you can both
light me up
brighter than the sun,
yet our memories
can still eat me
from the inside out
leaving me aching
like a black hole,
burning me completely.

your sea storm eyes
set my bones alight
and now i'm left aching
each time the rain
shouts about you.

you told me
actions speak
louder than words,
now i hear more
in your silence
than you were ever
able to tell me aloud.

my pull towards you
was instant
and all-encompassing,
as if i'd been
living in darkness
and you were the first
splashes of colour
i'd ever seen.
i wondered how someone
could be so beautiful,
how i could be so lucky
to wake up and see
the ocean
dancing in your eyes.
in those moments i knew
my heart would never
burn for anyone,
the way it ached for you.

you consume me
so entirely
filling up my lungs
with each breath
dancing around my veins
with each beat of my heart.

we were but a myth,
you were the deity
that i wanted so badly to believe in.

now all that's left
is burning valentines
and forgotten promises
my heart beating
outside of my chest,
destined for a life
of solitude
searching for a love
so beautiful
that even fate herself
weeps amongst the stars.

you asked me once
how real it all felt
sometimes i wonder
if it had all just been a dream
but then i remember
your gentle eyes
under a summer moon,
the scent of oranges
hanging in the air
and the feeling of stars
bursting out of the sky
the moment our lips met.

i have realised
why it still hurts so much;
i have too many words
inside my head,
to describe the way my heart
burst from my chest
the moment we met.
too many memories
of your fingertips
tracing the curve of my hips,
keeping me up at night.

i always thought
it was the purest form
of romance
the way the stars
fell to the earth
to listen to our wishes
just as i fell so easily
at your feet.

but now, stood underneath
the same moon as you
i realise;
you are all i'll ever need.

despite fighting fate
despite time
luck or chance
never being on our side,
our memories still dance
wrapped tightly
in a ghostly waltz
like dead stars
in a cosmic boneyard
their light shining brightly
illuminating
even the darkest of nights.

the second you said
you didn't want to choose,
i knew you didn't
have enough faith in us to stay.

i still ache from missing you.
the shape your mouth made
when you were unsure.
the blueness of your eyes
taking my breath away
each time they found mine.
you were beautiful like a natural disaster,
devastating but captivating.

our time was fleeting
but felt like an eternity.
as if each star in the cosmos aligned
to enable us to share
those twilight moments.
your teeth on my neck.
your warm breath in my ear.
our pleasures will never
be understood, only feared.
worshipping each other in the darkness
like pilgrims searching for god.
you were all i wanted to know,
happily spending forever locked
under soft duvets, sweat trickling
down the arch of your back
on those summer nights.

i miss the heaviness of your body
as you finally gave in to sleep,
knowing i'd chase away
those demons that controlled your dreams.
i still feel your hands in mine
like a phantom limb
soft but definitely writers hands,
creating beauty so naturally
the words would catch in my throat.

haunted by all i never said;

darling stay here please,
my heart beats for you alone
i can't bare to face the dark.

you have an addictive personality
that's what they say.
you threw your arms around me too fast
like a hurricane,
consuming me completely.
i don't doubt the sincerity
in those moments and whispers
too pure to be lies,
your sweetness like a cavity.
but now i see it for what it was
your latest fixation
simply a way to pass the time

i was just another habit to break.

i once read
that in ancient times
once lovers
had shared each other
underneath the light
of a full moon,
they were bonded
in every lifetime.
perhaps that is why
i can't seem to escape you.

i often wonder
if you still feel my kisses
burning your skin
terrified of the moment
where you no longer
remember how i taste
sweeter than honey
dripping down your fingertips.

now there's an ocean
lying between us
the nights grow dark,
the waters cold.
these velvet tears
and this rabbit heart
can't help but wonder
if i meant anything to you,
or nothing at all.

you may not be mine
but i still remember
that the only way
you can drift off to sleep
is to the gentle murmur
of clementine
pulling you under
with her whispered promises,
and how your fingers
would always find themselves
pushing the hair from my face
as you placed your headphones
to my ears in the dark.
these are the moments
where i come back to you,
stained by your love
like red wine on fresh sheets.

alone in the darkness
i stare blankly
at the night sky
the memory of you
outshining every star
and although i am alone
your ghost
is there to hold me
and i know my bones
will miss you
until they are but ashes
blowing in the wind.

our love was endowed
with countless stolen moments
and endless uncertainty,
yet you were the only thing
that i was sure of.
i wonder if the taste
of apples and cinnamon
takes you back to tender nights
underneath bedsheets,
in the same painful way
that strawberry soaked kisses
and honey covered fingertips
will always bring me
back to y o u.

the hardest part
of this whole mess
was realizing
that you had let us
get so far,
all the while knowing
that we couldn't continue
without you
breaking us apart.

sometimes
there are no other words
that will do
no embellishment worthy,
no outpouring of devotion.
sometimes
all i can say is,
i miss you
more than i ever knew
my bones could take.

the worst part is,
you felt like coming home.

out of all of the ways to die,
you are my favourite.

and i wonder why you
let me continue
to fall, when
i'd already
hit the

g
   r
      o
         u
            n
               d.

we came crashing down
before we even begun
yet i can still remember
satin nights underneath
that hot july moon
and how your smile tasted
between each sacred kiss,
leaving the taste
of honey and oranges
lingering on my lips.

we were creatures of the night
worshipping each other,
bathing in the starlight.
now we are strangers,
and i long to run free
around the corners
of your mind once more.

your love set me on fire,
his gives me wings.

you've pulled away
taking all my sanity
and all i can do is wait.
i can still taste
your saliva on my tongue,
the memory burning
through the velvet night.
darkness falls,
my thoughts turn to you
grasping for even
the smallest morsel,
looking for sustenance.

so unexpectedly
you appeared
carefully picking me up
from all the shattered pieces
until i resembled
something
remotely human
you held me close
and kissed my scars
so softly
never once
questioning their existence
quietly accepting
the cage i had built
so desperately
around myself
until one day
without realising,
my home
was no longer a prison
but your arms.

i wonder if your ghosts
whisper a thousand kisses
while you sleep
if their vermilion hair
brushes your skin
leaving you burning
dreaming of stolen glances
and blood stained lips
just as mine
wrap their hands
tightly around my throat
before gently pulling me under
with the sweetest lullaby.

lost are the nights
where i would breathe you in
feeling you slowly burn
as i held you close,
now all i can do is watch
as you fall back
into the void
i tried so helplessly
to save you from.

maybe you liked the thrill
of chasing
what wasn't yours.
maybe the forbidden fruit
forever tasted
the sweetest to you.
these are all sugar coatings,
lies i tell myself
to get some sleep at night.
but when my hands
find the pages of spilled ink,
hushed notes in
chicken scratch writing
hopelessly trying
to make sense of us.
of you.
sentences upon sentences
forming the carcas of our love,
picking the bones apart
until there is nothing left

i realise;
we were magic
in a world of ordinary.

you've been on my mind
for so long now
that i've forgotten completely
what it was like
to not have you entangled
in every corner.
every dust filled crevice
has been infused
with thoughts of you,
that i have enough
to fill the night sky
a million times over.
i only hope
these finespun webs
and their protective embrace
are strong enough
to keep you safe.