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If there was once a day
A day unlike all others
One that is captivating
Yet mysterious
But you could say living is this way
Mysterious on a daily aspect
Captivating you on he events
So I guess my type of day happens when I live
So I shall continue
To live within my perfect day
Such a day
What a day
I do wonder.
If I may possibly be...
Cursed?

Maybe,
Don't develop feelings anymore,
We're trapped in,
Insanity...

You talk to someone.
You get interested.
You start to get feelings,
But out of respect,
You hold them back.
We talk a lot,
Then out of nowhere,
A shift in the world...

Either one or both of these...
You get bored of me,
You see that I'm just,
For you.
Or...
You find someone,
I no longer catch your eye.
Yet for both,
It's just zero communication.

So now I have all this,
Small information of you,
Making me once again,
Get upset about being,
Too interested,
In making someone
Smile.

I guess I must be,
Cursed.
I've been wanting to write this for a while. Finally just did it.
This is my return to this website
After a long hiatus
A poem a week
My goal for all
Requests can be made
And they will be met
To everyone who loves poetry
All poets love you back

It feels great to be back
After a long silence
I am back
Was I missed
I feel like I was not
So little to tell
Not that I can feel a care
I should keep a voice
Just to your annoyance
Or disappear again
Maybe you all aren't ready for Azure
Or maybe my influence hasn't quite captured you
In due time I told myself
I should fade back to darkness
But I won't
For now my presence shall be known
Shall be felt
Everyone will speak of
The Poet Azure
A rebirth of my poetry
As soon as I saw you I saw the lightning aura around you
The neon letting you flow from within
Properties of gadolinium are an excuse
A magnetic principle is what I say
Amazed at the oxygen that flows from your being
Yet shocked at the purity of life you support around you
Your smile like rubidium
Turning the light around you into energy
This helps fuel my inner battery
Which is possibly lined with lead
I'm able to feel the strong calcium within your body
Which is large enough to create multiple bones and beautiful shells
So perfect that you can go with anything gold
Which is why any jewelry is lucky to be yours
But your reach of perfection is further
As you go with any tellurium
Any coloring that's seen within a stained glass window
Just on you will make you look angelic
But to me your beauty is nothing but bromine
Nothing but *poisonous
Going back to the type of poet I truly am. A love poem that utlilizes elements and their uses in the real world.
My mind,
It wanders.
Cursing me with images.
Playing videos of,
Moments.
Not moments that have happened,
No,
But moments that,
Well,
I want.
For example,
One that always appears,
I wish to relax.
My head in someone's thighs,
Their hand in my hair,
The TV on,
Just in the moment.
Or.
Sitting beneath the night,
Out amongst nature,
Or on the hood of my car,
Looking at the vast beyond,
Talking about whatever.
Oh also.
Laying side by side,
My arm,
Being used for a pillow,
Drifting to sleep together.
But then again those are just,
Beautiful Fantasies.
My mind,
It wanders.
Cursing me with images.
Playing videos of,
Moments.
Not moments that have happened,
No,
But moments that,
Well,
I want.
For example,
One that always appears,
I wish to relax.
My head in someone's thighs,
Their hand in my hair,
The TV on,
Just in the moment.
Or,
Sitting beneath the night,
Us amongst nature.
Or on the hood of my car,
Looking into the vast beyond,
Talking about whatever.
Oh also.
Laying side by side,
My arm,
Being used for a pillow,
Drifting to sleep together.
But then again those are just,
Beautiful Fantasies.
Our minds
For some people
They hardly dive into it
For others
It drives them insane
Creating illusions
Nightmares of possibility
Real life being twisted
What if's being created
Making thoughts of sorrow
Anger
Depression
And for why
What does the mind get from this
Joy, happiness, enjoyment
Sometimes I hate my mind
What it makes me think
But I  just have to
Live and adapt
Just become bigger than my mind
What is this?
Why would you do this?
It's just a dream,
But it just,
No it isn't real.
It all lines up,
No I'm going insane.
I need answers,
No I want answers.
Insanity will drive you mad,
Don't think to hard,
You know it was a dream,
It was just people close to you.
Maybe with a secret,
But why not just tell me,
I could care less,
I want your happiness.
So what if he's my best friend,
So what if she was my crush.
I do just believe it was just,
Betrayal of a dream.
My own betrayal,
My own dream.
I can say it now,
I officially feel it,
I am a coward.
No good reason either,
For am I not knowledgeable,
In how to approach a beautiful person?

Yet,
When I wanted to smile towards you,
My face could only freeze blankly,
If you saw or not wouldn't have mattered.
The only thing was for me to do it,
A physically attractive person,
Someone who,
(Mind my language tis the best I have),
Forced the back of my tongue to swell,
So that I may not breathe,
Not to produce a sound,
Not for thought to escape,
And apparently,
Not for any emotion to show.

A coward that is what I am,
Never able to fight the weakness,
Yes a weakness,
Yet one that holds me,
For whenever I see a beauty,
One that my mind goes...
Well,
Bonkers for physically,
But then I face this wall,
Maybe I'm allergic,
That's it!
Just because I freeze around,
Physically attractive people doesn't mean,
I'm a coward,
It means I'm allergic,
My reaction is my swelling tongue,
But with all these beauty's,
I may need a cure...
You're beautiful,
That puts me on my toes,
You want my attention,
Personally I like a little chase.

You say you like my niceness,
My generosity,
Yet everyone equally receives it.

A stranger simply,
I lack mental knowledge,
I wish to know the inside,
To be curious.
Am I going,
Insane?
No I cant be,
That's quite impossible,
There's no way,
None whatsoever,
Why would I be,
Going mad?

Could it be that,
I'm starting to crave things,
Like your touch,
Upon my skin,
Your voice inside my head,
Your lips hugging mine,
But all these things,
Why?
What's making it all,
Irresistible?

Is it maybe?
That it's been,
So very long since,
Romance and I have been,
Locked in a room together,
Seven minutes of heaven,
At the very least,
Of course I crave,
The whole night.
Oh no,
Have I found it,
The reason why,
I've been craving it all.

Where are you hiding,
Why must you hide,
I thought we were,
Well we were,
Close,
Obviously not now,
Well now I know that,
Until we agree,
Romance will continue to,
Drive me mad.
You think I fear you?
You are nothing,
I repeat you are nothing.
A dust mite.
Trapped, cornered, scared.
I am the mower.
Coming to do a job,
Cut the bad seed.
Save the crops.
But there you are.
This isn't Horton hears a Who.
For me this is just a normal day.
But you,
Well this is a horror film.
I'm the main villian,
Big difference is,
I leave no survivors,
I'm the only reoccurring character.
Now tell me who fears who...
I want to force it out
But you have it under lock and key
Not with any lock and key
A skeleton key
A master lock
With no way to find them
Before i was uninterested
But now
Now something
I cant quite put my finger on it
But something has caught my eye
My attention
My motivation
To try my luck
Find the key
Open the lock
And release it
Whatever it is
That you feel needs to be locked
I want to know
I have to know
I need to know
So here I am
Wondering about you
Resisting myself
Telling myself not to do it
Do not text her
Make her miss you
But probably not
Then now
So you sit here
Tell me
You don't know
Yet I feel indifferent
As if you do know
You don't want to lead me
But you remain
Trapped in my head
Forcing my smile
I want to try
Take a step
Into a new world
As long as you're in it
Friendly or more
I just want to try it
With you
In fact
Do I leave your head
What about the first kiss
Or the next
The last?
What am I doing
The one thing I hate
Exposing myself to you
Yet again
How does it look
When neither of us is happy
When the air is heavy
Toxic with anger
Yet we love each other
Nights looking like a sleep over
Rather than a loving home
How does it look
When we don't talk
Yet leave in the same car
No eye contact
Yet we love each other
I can't tell you how it looks
Im on the inside
Not the outside looking in
But i can tell you
Exactly how it feels
Lights,
Flash!
Don't blink.
You might miss it.
What is it?
I,
I don't know...
But I think I blinked.
I don't know,
This,
Unexpected feeling.
Rush of emotions.
Filling the container,
What are the contents?
I'm unable to tell.
That black box,
What's inside?
Why is it inside me?
What's the meaning.
One day it will spill.
Then all will be revealed.
But
Until then,
The black box will remain
A mystery.
I wish I could see you,
You think I'm joking but,
I wish I was...
So now I have to wonder,
What is it
That I miss?
Be careful where you look,
For you might peer,
Into the Eyes.
The window to the soul.
The eyes that draw you in,
Might be the same that end you.
Look away
Don't be fooled
Trouble is what follows
For my eyes,
(Yes my eyes).
Sweet enough to
Make your mouth water.
A taste so enticing
Wanting more
Yet, wondering
What a taste is actually like.
From my eyes,
To yours.
What do you see?
Do you see
My eyes,
Mesmerizing you?
Captivating your soul?
Entwining it to mine?
Together maybe for a while,
Maybe for life,
Who knows?
Just beware,
My eyes!
To fall for you,
Not your looks,
Your personality.
You to make me smile,
Uncontrollably smile,
Even when I don't want to.
To not feel alone,
Even when I am,
Just to know that,
You are there.
To be happy,
With you,
Because of you.
Us,
But what is us,
Because us hasn't happened.
To deserve you,
No matter what happens,
I'm not deserving of you,
I'm not deserving of happiness.
You.
I want you to read it right. Only use the title after every period.
Take your own advice
Don't just give it to others
See if it works
Live without regrets
That's mine
I should take it to
Never live thinking
What if
That's always been my fear
That the what if's
Are the suppose to be's
Life can only tell you no
Then you can go on
Maybe I should
Live life to the fullest
Get rid of the what if's
And go with what I feel
Someone recently convinced me
Listen to yourself
Because you listeb to your gut
And follow your own path
That leads to your own happiness
So I'll start with my motto
And stop having "what if's"
Because some what if's
Are should haves
I care to much to look away
You've made this happen
Your laugh
Your innocent looks
You truly don't understand
What really lies in my mind
I dread waiting for your texts
I regret my patience to wait
Yet I wait
And wait
Until I see you have responded
It drives me insane
How sane you make me
I shouldn't have you on my mind
Yet putting you out makes me ache
So I drive myself crazy
Because I know your eyes
Tames my insanity
We're suppose to be friends
My mind tells me not to ruin that
But I want to push the limit
Just because of how you make me feel
I hide it from you
Bury it deep down
I don't want you to truly know
How much I care
There was no way
No way to know
Weather or not you'd be different
If you'd be smart
Actually know what you're doing
Turns out I was wrong
You are just as clueless
Just as stupid
I'm left thinking once again
I could easily do your job
You have experience of 13 years
I've only been here for a little over a year
Yet I fear for your future
A mindless zombie
A dog looking for acceptance
It sickens me greatly
But I don't say much
I just sit back
Watch the day go by
As the manager looks like a headless chicken
i don't feel like,
Writing,
Emotions...
how about
instead
i
Explore?
YOU!

hmm...
with YOUR Permission
continue but be Warned...
May i Explore YOU?
to me YOU are a
Unique, Beautiful, Lovely Being
no matter how Similar we are
we are Different,
i LOVE that.
isn't that Interesting?
well to me yea

back to Exploration
May i Explore YOUR Being?
YOUR Cute Eyes
stealing my gaze,
forced to pay Attention,
trapped to Learn Everything about YOU.

All YOUR Different Looks,
Happy, Sad, Scared, Strong, Weak,
May i Explore YOU?
One-Of-My Rules is i Trust Everyone
unless Shown-Otherwise,
i mean i want Everyone to
Smile!

i don't know where to go from here,
Honest but i Feel i will have more.
YOU will know when i return
i will always ask you for Permission.
there's more of YOU to Explore
i hope i have caught YOUR Gaze!
i guess i capitalized All the words Important to me
I have these moments
Of Sorrow, Hatred, Pain
For myself
But i also have
Love, Admiration, Breath-taking
Moments for others
How can I feel myself
What I do others
Sometimes it does happen
And I treasure those
Sometimes a total switch
But it soon goes back
For I'd rather hate myself
And dump my love on another.
Many things yet to be discovered
But for now it stay hidden
Like the love a boy has for a girl
Few people know
Deep inside the mysteries lay
Waiting to be awakened
Rustling about creating volcanic eruptions
Or stirring up oceans causing hurricanes
Keeping still and out of sight
Many more years that might go by
And they wait
Robots, Cyborgs, Cross species
The future explodes with wonders
But for now we focus on the present
It will soon be the past
Soon forgotten
In the drift of modern mysteries
Like the boys' heart never at rest
I'm about to do
What needs to be done
Stuck in my mind
Not trying to leave
You've taken up residence
Telling you how I feel is
What needs to be done
Although you've probably figured it out
You're smart enough.
It still
Needs to be done
You've unintentionally jumped into
    my life
I've exposed myself to you
You know my weaknesses
My flaws
The least I can do is
Expose myself
One
Final
Time
No matter how weird I feel
No matter how uncomfortable
Because truly
It's what needs
To be done
Allow me to open your eyes
By opening you up
Do things your way
Then you can see
It forms your own way
Like if you taste with your hands
Just think how ever it feels that's how it tastes
Allow your mind to take over
Talk to yourself about what you want
Let's see how open you get
And how the world looks to you
May I hug you?
Like really hug you,
I mean we hold each other.
May I hold your hand?
Have our fingers interlocked,
My thumb running back and forth,
On the back of your hand,
Sorry about my clammy hands.
May I stare into your eyes?
Get lost within the depths,
Lost in a trance,
I promise I won't get lost.
May I have your company?
I'm lonely without you,
You cause so much within my mind.
But I'm lonely not desperate,
So I'm asking,
May you cure my lonely?
I will cure yours.
These are my people
This is my family
We sit around write words on paper
Speak fluent emotion
We automatically know one another
Despite just meeting each other
Paper binds us mentally
Vocally our words flow together
Like two rivers meeting at a bend
We are strange in the eyes of outsiders
But genius to each other
Our words moving one another
Shifting our views
Our voices chasing actions
We are a group of wonderful individuals
We are poets
And these are my people
This is my family
I want us to
Walk on the beach in Lilycove City
Watch the Luvdisc swim by
Dare each other to go into Lavender Town
Hold your hand in Floaroma Town
I want to be Volbeat
And you Illumise
In reality you're Milotic
And im just Carnivine
It'll hurt but relax in Snowbelle City
Spend the day at a Poké Spot
I'd figure out your favorite
Travel to the region and get you one
Us living happily in our roles
Our love growing through time
My Croagunk loving you
What more could you ask for
In a Pokémon world
This is it,
Punishment.

Yea, yea, yeah,
It was understandable,
At first,
You were young,
Love was new,
Well unfamiliar love,
Or attraction,
That's a better word,
All you knew was looks,
Short kings don't go far,
No one wants a twig,
All you had was looks,
A cute face,
A nice voice,
Nice teeth,
Until 5th grade...

When you lost the gates,
The world free to explore,
The world inside your mouth,
A free pass,
Eh I just won't smile.
How long without smiling,
It's fine you have a smirk,
One you can easily change,
Flirty,
Doubt,
No worries you found something,
Wrestling,
Well there was that temporary pause,
In highschool my sophomore year...

When I dislocated my shoulder,
Giving me another worry,
Without a smile,
Now without an arm,
Crazy!
Eh just another change,
Slowly losing confidence,
Yet forcing a change...

That leads us to now,
As an adult,
The man formed from it all,
The trauma,
The lost confidence,
It all formed an odd one,
Someone who writes it all,
Because any sight of you,
Well a beauty,
But now things happen...

To where I react,
Oddly,
Feeling of a swollen tongue,
At the sight of a beauty,
Or whoever my mind seems so,
The sudden freezing of my eyes,
Lost thoughts,
Unable to approach,
The hardest feeling to fight,
Yet I have been unable to do so,
I can only do things,
All in passing,
Hopefully you catch on,
Please do...

A punishment!
The closest I can get,
Words amongst each other,
With you in mind,
You within the words...
Who cares what is asked
  In the duration of a conversation
What develops mentally
  Yet sticks within one's memory
When will these truly be answered
  While everyone moves along with life
Why state inner thoughts
  If once exposed they dissappear
How does one ask and recieve
  Without forgetting what was asked
Quiet on the surface
Yet i sense something within
A mysterious aura
Seeping out of you
On the surface you appear to be quiet
Appearing to be held back
Restraining
All for the look
Of innocence.
Well that really causes me
A problem
I found your tattoo
I found your secrets
Your hinting at more
Enticing me like treasure in the open
An easy steal
But i feel a trap
I won't fall in it
But should I
Like i said before
I found your tattoo
I don't deserve you
I don't see how I would
There's many things you do
That I couldn't begin to repay
Like
The smile you force upon me
I couldn't give you one half as big
The full feeling you give me
I'd only be a false half
The way you supercharge my heart
Yours probably slows down
I want to be in your embrace
You probably withdraw from the thought
Your laugh giving me such joy
Mine scratching your ears
I want to hold your hands
Your hands get uncomfortable at the idea
Thinking of us together a dream
You think of it as a nightmare
You make me feel less than a failure
I'm just another person
I love seeing your texts
You probably could care less
You make everything feel amazing
I'm probably a sour taste to you
I don't deserve a relationship with you
You're to good for me
When it comes to religion
Why do we have to proclaim it
Being the only other around one type
Very uncomfortable
I'm not as open as others
If I was I would be an outcast
Thrown by these beliefs
Yet I live
Within myself
For all the religion in the world
We just seek the one that helps us cope
With the troubles of this life
With a promise of better one
So I keep my religion
And outcast all others who possibly
Outcast me
What is my life?
A rollercoaster of ups and downs,
A climb up a hill,
Only for gravity to pull me down,
Why does it feel this way?

Does the universe hate me?
Whenever I get happy,
I mean consistently happy,
Why does something crumble?
Starts as a small break,
Sometimes,
Others are a siege upon my world,
A battle I'm unprepared for.

Then tell me,
Tell me what to do,
I wish to be happy,
I wish to smile,
Without fear of sadness.
How much more payback,
Do you require?

May I ask one thing then?
There is something,
Or someone,
I wish to find a piece of happiness,
With them.
May I have that as,
An untainted happiness,
My constant smile,
The only rollercoaster,
That never falls.
Idk I feel lost
Why does it cry out,
Asking for me to find it.

Instructing me to just listen,
Telling me false tales,
Lies hidden under "promises".

What do I do?
Well I'll tell you one thing,
I won't look for you,
I've been there,
Searching for just that one thing,
A temptation strong,
Yet with a weak hold up on me,
Is it the interest keeping me.

Me,
Am I the reason you keep returning,
I wish for you to disappear,
But what if,
It's because of me?

You only respond,
When I call,
Well I don't even have really call,
A craving,
We will call it,
But why for you?

Or better,
Why do you respond,
When I ask to feel,
Why is it you that answers,
As if I specifically wanted you,
What happened to have it be you,

I feel that real question should be,
Why do I cry out?
Why do I do this?
These thoughts,
In my head,
Scream cursed words of
Disappointment,
Unfulfillment,
Sorrow,
Hope.

How am I to ignore
The words that
These thoughts are telling me?

You can't make someone happy...
No one can fall for you...
You're just a middle man...
Easily forgettable...
A placeholder...
Uninteresting,
Little to no importance,
With no room to grow...
They're better off without you...
Be honest, who would?

All the smiles I wish to have,
Feels like it's unattainable,
Something only for a wish,
The luckiest thing for,
The unluckiest person.

Who am I kidding?
I already know,
These thoughts are louder.
Drowning out my thoughts of
Sanity,
Happiness,
Love.
I challenge myself,
To do what?
Write of course!
But you already write,
No no not that often.
Not like I would like to...

But that changes...

Now
Out in the middle of nowhere
Or that's what people will say
What they don't see
Is what stays unknown
The beauty that only those who seek it
It's nothing but high winds farms and livestock
But to those who live here it's more
To look out your window and see the sun
In the summer to look out and watch the birds fly
To walk down the street and say “Hi” to everyone
Drive and see water as blue as the sky
Watching a rodeo when it comes through
That is the beauty outsiders seek
That is the beauty that can be seen
Of course there are no Atlanta, no San Francisco, no New York
Only Mobridge, Selby, Glennon, Java
Peaceful places in which to live
This is the western plains cities
In northern South Dakota
Stop it!
I get it,
You can be cold,
Freezing even.
But the rain?
The rain doesn't help.
Like at all.
I can't get warm in this,
I can only think of one way,
Well the only I want.
Warm body heat,
Spreading to one another,
Side by side,
Keep the freezing,
Words in my mind,
So you never want to part.
But those are only wishes,
For I am alone.
Curse you winter,
Curse you rain,
Curse you cold,
Curse being alone.
Well until next time.
We all have had that moment
Time stands still
You staring at someone
Your body heats up
You feel your blood boil
Not from heat
But from love

We all have had that moment
We don't remember what we did
Our hearts take over our bodies
Artists hands throw paint
Poets create poems
And we have a creation

We all have had that moment
When we think
Yet do not know
Love
But we wish to know
So we try to find it
And when we do we are lost

We all have had that moment
We follow our instincts
Try to show off
Get their hearts to go wild as well

We all have ad that moment
Wen we think we found the the one
Then we know they are he one
And we thank our instincts
For they brought us our perfect matches
And they thank theirs
For the same reason
Look away
Tell yourself what you want
That it isn't what you think
The lies we tell
To make yourself feel better
To turn yourself away
If there's anything you think
The lies we tell
If there's a will
You will find a way
Or so
The lies we tell
What is the last thought
Before you are true
To yourself
Or is that just
The lies we tell
Love is located at the center of your heart
Beating hard and fast to be hit by a dart
It spreads its blood faster to the body
It explains why his cheeks turn rosy
The nervousness spreads around deep inside
He hears the voices of love which is why he runs and hide
Love tells him not to be scared
Over time his love gets demolished and fared
People always told him that love is life
Now he sees that love can cut him like a knife
From his past he can stop and see
That love isn't all what it cuts out to be
It tells him to tell her
At the same time trying to deter
He walks toward her then takes a detour
Still attracted like positive to a negative core
From behind his conscience eggs him on
Now deep inside is his influence song
A safe house is what he tries to find
Because in his eyes love is not kind
The light that radiates from in his chest
Looking around this glow of his exceeds the rest
People have told him that love is just a game
Waiting to be played so it calls your name
He turns his head away from the feeling
At this time his heart needs feeling
Always taught love took you though carnage
Deep inside he is filled with damage
Now he knows love is cruel
The light that could have been lived
Is now dead deep inside itself killed
But the feeling will be back
And attack him like a heart attack
Until that day
He must be prepared any way possible
I can't talk to you the way i want to
Because I don't want to be seen in a bad image

I can't look at you the way I want to
Because I would hate for my mind to wander

I can't touch you the way I want to
Because I would be ashamed of myself

In time I will be able to
Because by then we will be married

But as of right now I want to only stay
The Way I Want To
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