This is why I write
For times like this
When I have no idea
And you don't let me in
I'm left guessing
Out in the open
Confused and lost
Worried and saddened
This is why I write
When I don't know what else to do
Your happiness fleeing your body
Leaving this anger
For what reason I do not know
This is why I write
To let you know
When you won't listen
Its not just random occurance
On why I do it
This is why I write

I feel like
To late
To say what I feel
To late
To act upon it
To late
To finally say anything
To late
To be happy
To late
To realize what they have
To late
To complete me
To late
Look forward to the future
To late
With you
To late
Maybe to move on
To late
Moved into my head
To late
So what should I do
To late
I'm sorry
To late
I feel like I'm in love
To late
So I truly believe that it's
To late

Look at you,
All happy.
The reason?
Easy,
Not me.

As much as I enjoy
Your smile
I see I can't make it
Nor be the reason
For it's appearance.

I'll stop forcing it,
Once all I saw was smiles.
Now I only see a blank stare,
As if I drain all happiness,
From you?
No let's not think that
But
It's what my mind says,
Could it be true.

The once look of
Happiness
Joy
Smiles
The warm feeling of
Spring and Summer

Now the feeling of
Uncomfortability
Discontent
Nothing
The cold feeling of
Winter

Well where is
Autumn
That's the feeling I want
The one I seek
The one that seems
It will never
Manifest

I try
I fail
I try
I fail
Eventually I will get it
But when
I try
I fail
Dont think about it
Just go
And you will succeed
Just do
Think later
I try
And wait for the next outcome

My mind is insane
Crazy within its own self
I know it's not true
It makes me feel like a burden
I should downgrade myself
Make myself into less
Delegate myself to support
Support him
My heart destroys me
Aches when I feel this way
Worthless
I feel like crying
I feel dead
Destroyed
I feel done
HELP ME

A thousand faces swirled around me
Clamoring that my life be burned
Unable to make out the faces
Covered by the same veil found in the store
I hope that these men see my face
The horror that glows from my eyes
As if I died staring at the moon
Right now I hold the very oak
In which I locked eyes with her for the very first time
Memories of that first time rush through my mind
As the rope tightens around my neck, arms, and legs
Then I smell the fire from under me
I feel the heat on my soles
My feet start to sweat
The men throw their hats
They finally win
Like the town they pulled me from
I m also to go out as smoke and ash
The men laugh
They talk about a new world
One in which they rule
Was it about politics
Or as it about race
It doesn't matter now
My body now black from the flames
And me with no legacy to live on

You knew, you knew,
That I've been waiting on you
Because you are stuck
In my head
Just there
I've told you how I felt
I just want you to say yes
Test the waters
I wish to help you
Overcome what you have feared
Commit to a possible happiness
That's what I'm doing
I want to be happy
And you appear to be my solution
But am I yours
I don't want you to feel pressured
Because let's be real
I don't deserve you
But I want to try
And see if I can
Get myself to feel good enough
To be with you
But until then I'll be
Waiting on you

What do you do
When you're a bother
Nothing for anyone to enjoy
Something everyone can point out
They don't care for
It affects them


Is it how I look
The way I talk
Oh how about my ideas
My dress probably
Maybe the one thing to bother everyone
My smile

I should hide it once again
Only show it to the person who draws it out
Since it's unwelcome
It'll become a legend
Does it exist
What is the real smile
I have fakes to give
I can't just get rid of it
But the real one
Can be cloaked
Hidden amongst the clones
In order to spread some smile
It's the least I can do

As a bother to everyone
That's what I seem to be
I guess I'll be that way
I won't fully go blank as long as I

Remember the good
Everyone has a thing
But your good out ways the bad
Remember the good
Overcome the bad
Don't be consumed
Don't lose the smile
Remember the good
You are a fool to lose yourself
For no real reason
You forget the good?
No
You must fight it and
Remember
The
Good

What happens when
You become the center of my world
My world changing
To include you in it
In it for the long run
Not sure why I want you
Want you to adore me
About as much as I do you
Do you think we'd be happy
Like I see it in my head
My head flashing your image
Am I in your head
Your head sealing my heart away
I wish to seal a part of you
Of you and your mental
Drives me crazy
Me crazy to think of happiness
Whatever happiness you bring me
Bring me home
Let me show you my soul
My soul begs for this weird connection
We seem to possess

Who are you
Who do you think you are
Such a beauty
Making me feel quite odd
You're so out of reach
Yet within an arms reach
A look so complex
Yet so simple
A super cliche name
That fits you perfectly
I sound so struck
Yet you haven't attacked
You say let's take it slow
All I can say is how slow
You don't know it
But you mean a lot if this happens
If I make a poem because of you

Why does my body do this
Tell me he's uninterested
I mean we're still together
But it feels like we might not be
The love is dying
The flame is burning out
Then it'll kick up again
Shoving my negative feelings back into the depths
But more often then not
It's this feeling
The worry
The hysterical beating of my heart
The annoying voices in my head
I want that burst to happen
The fire to rise up 10 feet
Because right now
It feels about 10 inches

I'm a hopeless romantic.
Trapped in my own mind.
Wanting romance,
Listening to music,
Reading web comics,
Wanting to feel the sensation,
Of romance.
And?
What do I get in return?
Sadness from within,
Seeing others happy,
With what I want.
It truly is a want,
Not a need,
For romance.
But I guess we'll have to see,
If I truly am destined for romance.

Why bother
   If there's no reason to continue
Why bother
   When everything isn't as it seems
Why bother
   If she has already said no
Why bother
   When nothing has gone your way
Why bother
   If no matter what this is how it is
Why bother
   When everything crumbles
Why bother
   If you follow your heart
Why bother
   When you can't help it
Why bother
   If you fall in love
Why bother
   When it's already been done
Why bother
   With these thoughts
Because
   They were always in my head
I bothered
   Myself because they felt right

Who does he think he is
Exposing my fear
A fear I didn't know I had
To be alone
Yet deeply in love
I hate how talking to you
Brought it out
Being with you
Leaks out the fear
I don't want to lose you
You tell me I won't
I believe you
Because I love you
I really love you
Don't let my fear come true
Living without you
And still in love with you