dear red on pale white,
a letter to you, I write
in immense red fright
I fear, red on pale white
It is because of you
I cannot sleep at night
you promised that
you would not bite
but what is left of me?
I cannot see anything
there is nothing in my sight
but a mouth, that keeps begging
the dear red on pale white
I write to you again,
dear red on pale-

'this is your last night'
said the red on pale white

-Kaya

They see you,
on the surface
with the sky above

You feel, out of earth
on the edge with
empty space below

-Kaya

"I sense a feeling of sympathy"
"Why?"* He asked,
There she stood,
She felt as stiff as a rock,
Wordless, she was
Suddenly! Her mind was crowded,
Wordless, she was again
but, She had to reply and so
She spoke with a voice that wasn't hers
and a soul that wasn't hers
In a hurry, she said, "Situations in life"
"Like what?" He said with a blind smirk
"When your mother yells at you?"
He said, with the same
blind smirk and with
the same blind tone

She smiled, like always
and sighed in disagreement
She didn't know what to say,
crowded her mind was, again
wordless, she was, again
She was mistaken, She was mad

-Kaya

you stood upon a bright light
with innocent sparkly eyes

but all  your truths
were nothing but utter lies

all that walks
and all that fly's
were nothing great in your sight

smiling at passers
with hatred inside
you were nothing but an imbecile
with an extreme pride

you are a thought of superiority
but reality, inferiority

the person you were
made the person you are

and all that you want
can't be reached, its far

now all that you want can't be reached
its far

-Kaya

That was the day
When I couldn't move
That was the day
When I wished
My life wasn't this way

-Kaya

As the day comes to an end
I crave for an hour more of peace
Before the thoughts of the night
take my lungs away
While I still try to breathe

-Kaya

cursed with a blessing
made to feel alive, even
when I'm not breathing

-Kaya

Who are you? Why are you here? is this real life? are questions i ask myself on a daily basis. These moments just seem so surreal. I can't imagine myself doing things other people do. And i can't believe the things that i'm doing. I don't know if the things that i am doing, are really being done, and i don't know if the things that i'm saying are really being said. Sometimes, i ask myself if my whole existence is just someones endless imagination.

-Kaya

A tear a day
keeps the pain away
but a smile a day
will show us the way

help us from being destroyed
by the sadness
we want to avoid
we are late
our happiness caught the bait
sent by the people we hate
guess it's decided by fate
guess it's decided by fate

Our minds, destroyed
by the evil society
our souls, devoid
by the worlds insanity

show us a way
to keep away the pain
show us a way
to help us laugh again

-Kaya

I am a figure
molded in sorrow
i shed tears today
for happiness tomorrow

My eyes are dry
my eyes are sore
in a room
behind a door
Do you hear me?
A voice within
A demons scream

-Kaya

Maybe i'm sad
Maybe i'm just mad
maybe happiness,
is one thing i have never had

leave me behind
go far away
but, don't wait for me
don't say i was late

Everyday is hell on earth
i'm walking on land
but, deep inside
burning in fire

They said,
it would be over
but i'm tired, because
a part of me has died
It died-  It died
because, they lied

-Kaya

"It's always the same
The good, die fast
But the ones who are not
Are the ones who die last"

-Kaya

You are the sun
Obscured by the common clouds
that everyone likes
But, what they didn't know is,
Your presence could
get rid of the darkness
Sometimes it just takes,
a little time,
and the world
will finally be yours
and you won't be alone

-Kaya

I wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
I stabbed the empty paper with
all the words that filled up my dry throat
I wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
till the nib grew old, bent and broke
O, I still wrote and I wrote and I wrote!
till my throat became as empty and white as the paper
I kept the paper to myself, I kept the words to myself
I swallowed it to feel whole,
but I choked, and I choked and I choked!
From then on, my presence was absent
nobody has ever heard my voice,
I couldn't and I never spoke!

- Kaya

We hide in the shadows
stay away from light

we are always divided
we never unite

they are afraid to protest
so alone we fight

we're the ones
who are awake at night

unable to accomplish
we always fail
they call us useless
but, we still prevail

we work hard
to get what we want
we endure and ignore
when they taunt

no matter what they say
no matter what they do
i won't become the person
they want me to

-Kaya

A tear drenched pillow
not a place to rest my head
but an ocean, every night

thoughts pass like
a million black fishes
now I cannot see
the oceans blue anymore
not even the blue

-Kaya

In a void of darkness
where the sorrows remain
everything goes away
except for my pain

Tomorrow is a time
that i wait for today
just laying in silence
because, i have nothing to say

The mask i put on
hides all the truth behind
you don't know,
who i really am
but you would
if you were not that blind

As i stare in silence
at the blank white walls
I patiently wait,
for my people to call

-Kaya

Empty black house
With many rooms
No one lives there
But my mind

-Kaya

In the state of consciousness,
Dreamt I,
of an old flower surrounded by
young and hopeful weeds

The golden light, of the sun
shined upon them, giving birth
to life and life to the dead

A fragile plant
breaks out of the ground
only to be pushed back down
by the weight of the world

- Kaya

Each tile has it's history
Some are untold

They remain a mystery
Like eyes behind a blindfold

I lived all these days accomplished nothing
all the  hard work didn't pay
My brain is rotting

Believing in hope
And the days I got through
with the sadness I had to cope
for a month or two

I still wish that my past
Was never really true

I still wish that my past
Was never really true

-Kaya

Alone in the darkness
The pain obscures reality
Drowning in my sorrow
With thoughts,
Of being dead tomorrow

-Kaya

The inevitability of darkness
consuming the whites of my eyes
and the whites of my heart
like a grey gloomy cloud
soaked in tears, ready to pour
on bright, glowing grounds

- Kaya

Am i being watched?
Are my thoughts being heard?
Are they laughing with me,
or at me?
Are they after me?
are questions,
i can't get off my mind
sometimes, i wish
i could just disappear
into the air
and be free
from the thing,
that i knew didn't exist
And i tell myself
It's such a bother
being afraid of something
that isn't real,
but then again,
i can't trust anyone
or anything,
including, myself

-Kaya

Today I followed a butterfly,
It led me to a wasp's nest*

-Kaya

It's just a thought,
You tell yourself
You know it isn't real
But, you can't trust yourself
There is nothing
in this world
That can stop you,
From distorting reality
you imagine the impossible
And create fear within yourself
A fear, that wouldn't disappear

-Kaya

It's not people that frighten me
it's their eyes, it's the soul that hides within each eye, not only do they see- they judge, they think, they absorb. It's the contrast between their whites and their color that project strength and create fear, it's the inability to lose contact with that contrast, it's impossible to lose connection from what makes you afraid but at the same time beautiful it brings you closer, it's the fear of getting closer to something evil but irresistible. It's the fear of losing yourself but loving it.

-Kaya

Bitter battered bones
with a heart that,
was as hard as a stone
it's a mystery,
to be at the place we are now
it's a mystery,
to see how we have grown

- Kaya

Asleep at night
in peace and serenity
Stars shine at the gloomy darkness
above me,
giving company to the moon as,
rest and dreams come my way

Hours pass,
And I wake up
To the noise of the world
Where I rise, open eyed,
And become a victim of gravity
Where I walk,
And become a victim of reality

- Kaya

I crave your presence
during your absence
But, when you're present
I loathe your presence,
and crave solitude

-Kaya

Sometimes,
I wish to see myself
in somebody else's shoes
I wish to not be myself
I wish to disappear
To a place
where my face and thoughts
Can't be seen or heard
Sometimes,
I long to know
What it feels like
To be in my own shoes
To be safe,
To feel safe, in my space
My fenceless shelter
A home without a roof

-Kaya

"When the eyes of the world are shut,
My mind awakens, and I make the best memories in my head"

-Kaya

Amongst vibrant flowers
In a grey field
stood I, a black bud

I lived no where
but in their shadows
the rays of light peak
as I try to get myself,
to stand upon it
to shine, to be heard
but as I try to do so
the sun goes down
It goes away
like its afraid of me
and I have nothing else
but the moon
it shares my flaws

-Kaya

It was a feeling.
A feeling of Winter and Summer within each palm.
Sitting, a sense of casualty. Thoughts in your mind crashing into each other like two similar trains that collide as both your palms collide to escape the feeling of insecurity. A mix of cold and warmth. A question of which hand to use, when we shake hands
do you want the warm truth or cold lie?

A frozen foot and another, burnt
Every morning, I wake up to a question of which foot
to use, when I leave my place of comfort, as my head betrays my feet, and the sharp stones it has to face. Even the sky betrays the land. Broken aspects of the sky, the clouds. Broken aspects of the land, the drought. Broken aspects to thoughts, the mind. Broken aspects to love, the heart. Again, It was just a feeling.

-Kaya

There are times
when we fall down
there are times
when we drown
but, all we can do
is look up to the people
who still stand
on the ground

we try reaching out to them
but, we can’t even make a sound
they can’t hear us
we are invisible
and the feeling of hopelessness
is growing stronger in us

As we fall deeper and deeper
into the darkness
our absence and our silence
will make them realize
that we no more exist
and we leave this earth
knowing that, no one
valued our existence

-Kaya

Will anyone hear me
will anyone see me
will anyone know
if i were gone

I knew i could swim
so, why did i drown
I knew i could fly
so, why did i fall
I said, why live
when we are all
bound to die

It's always the same
the good, die fast
but the ones who are not
are the ones , who die last
It's easy to say
forget the past
but, it's hard
when it follows you

-Kaya

A bird set free,
to the unknown world
he became lively and joyous!
only to realize that the world
was his cage, and he was
trapped in his own freedom

"I wish I were a bird" They say-

Only a bird knows
what it's like to lose its wings
while flying to survive

- Kaya

So many people,
Yet, so little friends
So much time,
Yet, so little to do
So much space,
Yet, so little to have
So much to give
Yet, so less to get
So little to remember
Yet, so much to forget

-Kaya

What if everything,
that we thought was real, wasn't
And everything that we saw
was just an illusion,
just an imagination,
of a better world

What if all the things
we thought were impossible,
are possible
What if all these thoughts
flashed in our heads
the few seconds,
before we die

What if all truths
were lies
And all lies,
were truths
What if nothing is real
what if nothing existed
But, one question that will remain
at the back of our heads,
till the end of time is,
What if we aren't real?

-Kaya

Good food placed
on a broken plate
just like, little happy moments
existing in a shattered fate

-Kaya

My mind always gave birth
to ever-so-joyous and lively words
But those words, **** themselves
everytime they were produced
by their mother, my mind
The same words,
reborn, they were, to my life
My life, their second mother
Now cruel, those words are
Now dark, those words are
It's a cycle, they always will be

- Kaya

Tears fall like raindrops
in the sky
The stars sparkle
like a strained drenched eye

I look back at my past
and noticed how fast
the days have passed
and i realized that,
some things in life
just don't last

-Kaya

A deaf man devotes
his soul to his eyes
A blind man devotes
his soul to his ears
we rely on a shoulder
in times of loss
but rely on parts
of our own selves
when we are lonely,
away and far apart

-Kaya

I yell into a hole
A hole, that is
darker than coal
am i the only one down here
am i the only soul?

I used to be so bold
never used to do what is told
now, here i am
in the cold
regretting the past
as i get old

-Kaya

The eyes are,
the windows to the world

They see everything
and nothing can be unseen
They eyes witness,
pain, sorrow, happiness
But, the eye cannot see itself
the eye is blind
the eyes cry
the eyes lie
the eyes hide,
the truth inside

The world seals
what is real
the eyes are deceived
by happiness,
that is unreal

-Kaya

Blood in one
chemicals in the other
now, "Does this make you feel
ten times better?" She asked,
"It's true, even the most bitter
can make you feel better"
She thought to herself

- Kaya