I am angry, very angry
Angry at the world
Angry at life
Angry at everything

I’ve been bitter, very bitter
Bitter you’re not here
Bitter you’re no more
Bitter you’re gone

I’ve been angry, just angry
Angry I couldn’t stop time
Angry I couldn’t heal you
Angry I couldn’t save you

I am bitter, just bitter
Bitter I had to let you go
Bitter I had to watch you go
Bitter I had to say goodbye

I’ve been angry, still angry
Angry because I miss you
Angry because I need you
Angry because I ache for you

I’ve been bitter, still bitter
Bitter I lost my role model
Bitter I lost my best
Bitter I lost my biggest fan

I’m am angry, very angry
Even though you wouldn’t want me angry
Even though you wouldn’t want me sad
Even though you would want me happy

It’s been a long time coming
The day is finally here
My day
A day I’m not sharing

Everyone is here for me
Well for us
My day
A day I feel special

My name is on everyone’s lips
Well our names
My day
A day I will always remember

I am dancing away my sorrows
Happy to start my forever
My day
A day I bear a new name

I am crying tears of joy
Looking around in awe
My day
A day I feel happiest

All my friends are here
To stare and wish me well
My day
A day I look the prettiest

I’m happy I found you
I can’t stop smiling
My day
A day I have no worries

Two have become one
I’m glad I chose you
Our day
A day we get our happily ever after

Twenty years later
but I still remember
that horrid smell
your smell

Twenty years later
and I still haven’t  
told my story to anyone
willing to listen

Twenty years later
and I still hate you
and pray you aren’t
hurting someone else

Twenty years later
but I still remember
your smirk
and your wicked smile

Twenty years later
but it feels like today
you broke me
and left me scarred for life

I wish she knew
the power of her smile
the magic in her touch
and the significance of the times we spent together

I wish she knew
the true meaning of the gifts
the influence she has on me
and the reason I’m always there

I wish she knew…

October, October
I have goosebumps all over
It’s my favorite month
It’s my birthday month

Autumn has rolled out
Feels like I’ve been waiting forever
Sinking in the cool breeze
Saying goodbye to the summer heat

October, October
I’m gonna be a year older
Happy times are near
Now that I have you here

Soon will come the eight
I’ll get to drink soda
Clad in my birthday suit
I’m gonna be broker

October is here
I’m dancing with glee
Close to my heart like the colour purple
With you everything isn’t hurtful

With two ember months left
It’s time for me to reflect
The year is coming to an end
It’s time to plan what’s next

It was a love
That was magical
It went beyond fantasies
And lustful desires

It was a love
That was unexplainable
It went beyond feeling
And unselfishly giving

It was a love
That wasn’t ordinary
It went beyond hurting
And unequivocally abasing

It was a love
That caused pain and despair
It went beyond heartbreak
And too many tears

It was a love
That was unfathomable
It went beyond distrust
And continuous berating

It was a love
That was controlling
It went beyond danger
And persistent fear

It was a love
That was depressing
It went beyond being unpredictable
And considering surrender

It wasn’t love
It was hostility
It went beyond everything
And led to death

Mariam Shittu
xo

Go away
I don't want you here

You always come unexpected
Creeping in slowly

You always come when you want to
Bringing me pain

I try to cure you
But you leave only when you want to

I think you are relentless
Because you keep coming back

When you are here
I can't concentrate

When you are with me
I am not myself

I turn off the lights
So I can accommodate you

I put my head down
So I can make room for you

It's hard to explain you
Because you are not visible

Please leave
Because you are not wanted

Go away Migraine
So I can live my life

There’s no me
Without you

There’s you
Then there’s me

Life’s been tough
Without you

There’s me
There’s no more you

Looking over my shoulder
Watching me get older

Buying my favorite things
Guiding me thorough everything

Teaching me to be strong
Scolding me when I’m wrong

Taming me everyday
To the woman I am today

I never imagined life
Without you

Now I have to live life
Without you

It takes you to the past
forgetting the present

It makes you relive the happy moments
or creates repeated sad moments

It makes you wish everything was different
or you could turn back the hands of time

It makes you wail uncontrollably
or go completely mute

It makes you see life anew
and enjoy every moment all through

It’s grief and it’s different for me and you.

butterflies and flowers
champagne and dessert
my first and my ex
got nothing on you

As the clock ticks
And the crickets sing

As the days pass
And my needs rise

As my heart aches
And my eyes bleed

Your arrival is close
And my joy overflows

Now we’re together
The worst is over

As we have this moment
And the wait was worth it

As I have your hugs
And all your love

The days go by
And it’s time to say goodbye

As the tears storm
And the worries return

I’ll be yearning
Till you’re with me again

Sitting here, trying to be strong
Wondering, where did it go wrong

The late night phone calls
And early morning messages

The planning for each weekend
And all the places we unwind

The memories we shared
And things we discovered together

Your funny ****** expressions
And the way you made me laugh

How we were so alike
And different at the same time

The way you knew when something was wrong
And I hadn’t said anything

The way you made me look forward to your surprises
And I thought I hated surprises

Your cheesyness, stubbornness and procrastination
And all the things that make you you

I’ve come to accept it’s all in the past
And I have to move on fast

She wears her pain
as a smile on her face
because it calms
her aching heart

The clouds are shifting
moving and forming
it's going to rain
flow and pour

I like the rain
it's beautiful and musical
I like the sound
the thunder and lightning

Mum says we have to stay indoors
it's wet and cold
Sitting by the window
waiting and watching

I love the rain
it's special and natural
raincoats and rain boots
daytime or night time

I like to play in the rain
running and dancing
it's fun a lot
till I get caught

The water from the rain
is refreshing and pure
the plants are fed
the earth is happy

I love the rain
and all it brings
there's nothing compared
to it's wonder and existence

I stand at the beach
Sand in my feet

The sun is shining bright
It's such a beautiful sight

I stand at the beach
Water over my feet

The sea is glowing blue
Ocean waves splashing too

I sit at the beach
Enjoying a wonderful view

Beautiful kites in the sky
Ice cream trucks passing by

I walk on the beach
A cone in my hand

The ocean breeze misty and cool
Sand castles high and tall

I swim at the beach
Cool water on my skin

The salt water in my mouth
Having fun without a doubt

A day at the beach
I wouldn't have missed

Smily faces everywhere
I always love it here

I miss you

I don’t just miss you,
I need you.

I don’t just need you,
I want you.

I don’t just want you,
I want you back.

Sister, sister

The only friend I had
Before I understood what a friend was

Who taught me everything she knew
And everything she didn’t know

My role model
My fashion icon
My entertainer
My cheerleader

She always has my back
When I’m right or wrong

She knows what I’m thinking
Before I even say it

She knows how to make me feel good
When I’m feeling down

My confidant
My companion
My accomplice
My stylist

The one who tolerates my mood swings when I’m being distant

The one who keeps my secrets safe without even asking

The one who knows what I need just at the right time

The one who understands me better than everyone else

We may drift apart but you’re always near

We may fight but we always find our way back to each other

In you, I found a best friend
In you, I found a twin
In you, I found a soulmate

My sister, my everything

Sister, sister

in the rain or the sun
in the dark or light

in trouble or in peace
in despair or in joy

I want you with me

Ever wondered…

Why Jerry is so smart
And Tom so unlucky?

Why Bugs Bunny has to say “ehh what’s up doc”
every time he wants to communicate?

Why Winnie The Pooh’s top doesn’t go over his belly?
Is it a crop top?

Why Daffy Duck has a white collar?

Why Pinky asks the same question all the time?
And why Brain always answers every **** time?

Why Snoopy has a lazy voice?

Why Fred bothers driving since he moves the car with his legs?

Why, why, why?

even though I know we’re really different
I almost believe you and I are really alike

even though I know you don’t know what love is
I almost believe you when you say you love me

even when I know you’re lying
I almost believe you’re telling the truth

even when I know you won’t change
I almost believe you will

even though I know this can’t work
I almost believe it will

I’ve been here before
I promised myself I would never be here again
But here I am

Back here…

A place I’m ashamed to be
A place I know I’m not ready for
A place I can’t be who I am

Back here…

Wondering if the ground can swallow me up
Longing for a truck to run me over
Wanting a bomb to ******* away

Back here…

With pain
With regret
With disappointment

Back here…

Where I will be all by myself
Where I will be judged without a chance to explain
Where I will have to do everything on my own

Back here…

With tears stinging my eyes
Worry burning my veins
And fear consuming my being

Back here…

Why did I come here
How did I get here
Knowing what I had to spare

Back here…

Wish I didn’t have to think this again
Pray I find a way out again
Hope I would never be here again

I want to go back
To change things
To a new life
With no worries

I want to stop time
To tell you
All I haven’t
Had a chance to say

I want to take care
Of you
As much as
You have taken care of me

I want to make you proud
Cook your favorite dish
Better than you
With you smiling sheepishly

I want to see the world
With you
Take you everywhere
And have the best holidays

I want to give you
All my love
Everything you want
And may ever need

I’ve been waiting
patiently waiting

for my day

the day I will be noticed
the day I will be appreciated

for my day

the day I’ll be your treasure
the day I’ll be your starlight

for my day

the day my smile will be the brightest
the day my heart will beat the fastest

for my day

the day I will feel complete
the day you will finally see me

Maybe there’s no happily ever after,
Brad and Angie ended.
Jack died, Rose lived.

Maybe there’s no together forever
no till death do us part.
no fairytale ending.

Maybe its okay to have
several beginnings
and different endings.

Maybe we are only meant
to hold on to our happy
for as long as we can.

As the sun is scarce
And light is rare
As the sky is dull
And the leaves fall

As the earth is full
And time stands still
As a man is happy
And another is sad

As the ocean is lonely
And water runs dry
As I think closely
And time passes by

As the wind blows
And the train speeds fast
As your heart is racing
And I let you in

As now is golden
And sadness is forgotten
As I hold you closely
And let this be

The rain holds a beauty
no one can truly get enough of

It’s scary yet calming
It’s annoying yet welcoming

It’s controlling yet pleasing
It’s depressing yet refreshing

It’s special and rhythmic
and nothing compares to it

It’s beautiful outside
and you know why

It’s raining.

In You
I found purpose
You made me dream again

In You
I found hope
You made me believe again

In You
I found comfort
You made me feel safe again

In You
I found beauty
You made me see again

In You
I found joy
You made me want to live again

In You
I found love
You made me give my all again

In You
I found happiness
You made me laugh again

In You
I found peace
You made me whole again

So don’t go breaking my heart…

This is my confession
as cool as I seem,

I’m still dreaming
chasing stars

I’m still working
not minding the scars

I’m still learning
grooming the best me

I’m still searching
chasing not stopping

I’m still lost
in this universe

I’m still looking
for my happily ever after

It’s okay if it scares you
It’s okay if it confuses you

It’s okay if it challenges you
It’s okay if it frustrates you

It’s okay if it fazes you
It’s okay if it amazes you

It’s okay if it transforms you
It’s even okay if it changes you

It’s not okay if you don’t chase it.

I’ll show you
how to love me
so you’ll know
how to please me and never fail me

I’ll let you
see the real me
flaws and all me

I’ll let you
see me in a way
no one else has

I’ll let you in

On a cold night
After a long day

Back here
Wishing she was miles away

Whispers of the wind
Hiding her tears

Caught in a haze
Wishing to go ablaze

She wipes her eyes
Used to disguise

Her kids play scrabble
While she sets the table

Lost in her thoughts
While dinner is running it’s course

Today is long gone
But tomorrow is a new run

Mariam Shittu
xo

Imagine a world without hope;
No dreams
No wishes
No expectations

Imagine a world without romance;
No Romeo and Juliet
No Beauty and The Beast
No Jack and Rose

Imagine a world without books;
No libraries and bookshops
No bedtime stories
No writers

Imagine a world without music;
No songs
No live shoes
No dance

Imagine a world without sugar;
No cookies and cream
No icing and candy
No untimely deaths

Imagine a world without social media(
No quick access to information
No unwarranted comparison
No cyber bulling

Imagine a world without hate;
No discrimination
No racism
No fright

Imagine a world without poverty;
No children dying of hunger
No one working instead of schooling
No preventable deaths

Imagine a world without science and religion

Imagine a world which can never exist.

I want him
He wants me too

I want to see him
He wants to see me too

This is wrong

I know it
He knows it too

I should stop myself
but I can’t stop myself
though he belongs to somebody else

I didn’t appreciate the little things before…

the sound of your voice
or how I was always your choice;

being at peace all the time
and knowing I had you full time;

being your handyman
and how I was always on your mind;

all the things about you
I lost not wanting to

Now I’m learning to appreciate everything…

a good morning call
or a notification on my wall;

the cool weather when it rains
and the days the sun is mild;

a shopping discount
and a traffic free journey home;

a smile that lights up my day
or a simple thank you that comes my way

The little things are not so little anymore.