"Do you dream of me?"
No. I but I think of you often.
I don't hid you in the corners of my mind,
Only to be seen while sleep,
I love you on purpose.
It was not love at first sight,
I saw you, I met you
And I decided to love you.
On purpose.

People get addicted to all sorts of things,
Alcohol, drugs, ***
I cant lie, Im no saint
Ive fallen to the temptations
But Ive yet to find anything as intoxicating as you

Ive never loved myself,
Not truely anyways.
Theres always been apart of myself thats loathed me from the beginning.
A voice hating every part of me.
I swear to god I will drag her out of my head.
By the hair, kicking and screaming if need be

I remember that night like yesterday.
When I was on top of the world until I wasn't Suddenly I was brought back unto the bathroom floor.
I rolled over, closed my eyes, and passed out
I remember thinking
"Maybe I was meant to die alone"
I accepted it as I floated out of my head
And for the first time,
everything felt okay

I feel the more I reach for it the further it gets
Every moment slipping from my grasp
I want to live
I havent even had the chance
Im growing up and nothing is okay

My hands hurt when they are not in yours
My eyes hurt when I cannot see you
My heart hurts because your gone

You ask me to paint for you.
You said you love all my paintings.
I know that I will never be satisfied,
nothing could ever be good enough for you.
Im trying but all I want to paint is you

She hates herself so much.
I could never understand how she calls her self ugly.
Shes so pretty my stomach hurts with want.
Not just her face or body
All of her.
She is amazing
I hurt myself but the only thing I feel is her.
I have never been in love but maybe this is what it feels like.
It hurts.
I like it

I can't stop thinking about her.
We drank and laughed,
I think it was the first time I drank to remember rather than to forget.
She asked me to kiss her and I laughed.
"Anytime" I said.
I meant it
I backed up to grab another drink,
afraid that I might give in to the strangth of the ***** in my hands.
Even after you had thrown up,
you had looked at me and laughed.
You were pretty all the time
That night I slept with your head on my lap,
hoping it was you who asked, not your drink.
That was months ago and Ive been waiting for another sign.
Im afraid it was only me

She had sunlight in her eyes
She had leaves in her hair
She had fruit in her chest
She had flowers between her legs
But you took that from her
She didnt have a choice
She has oceans in her eyes
She  has your smoke in her chest
She has rocks in her stomach
She has blood on her sheets
She has a snake in her bed

You said I was you favourite person
I was at my lowest
You made me feel good
Like I'd rather touch flowers than flames
You fed off my dependance
And when you found someone else
I had realized you could only me bring up because of how low I sank for you
I thought you were mine
Some kind of reward
I didnt think I could ever deserve you
Now I know that I dont

Show me you scars.
Show me you bruises.
I need to see all the times that I failed to be there for you.

Last times hurt because we never see them coming.
The very last time that you do something or see someone,
You lose a piece of your soul.
It's like breaking the **** of a door after it's been locked,
You don't get it back.
The only choice is to move on,
Or "chase the dragon", to no avail.
You can't return to the last time.

Don't love me if you don't
expect to be let down and for
the love of god, don't trust
me with your heart.

If love is a battlefield,
Doesn't that make life war?
And what's war without casualties?

If you blame me for being
a monster,
You must first know what made me this way.
I wasn't born into it.

You never needed me
Though you always used me.
I'm part to blame because,
I let you
You didn't even hesitate
when you left.
It was one sided love,
only more complicated.
To you,
I was expendable and replaceable.
Next to nessasary

It's depressing really.
How you grown accustom
to despair .
The way you've memorized the trails your tears leave behind.
How you've grown to enjoy the salty taste in your tears.

Caught in your crossfire,
A blow meant for you,
That I have taken,
You won't notice though,
You only have eyes for your foe,
I am caught.
Now that I'm in,
Theres no way out.
Caught in your crossfire
What's war without casualties?

Don't be sad, depressed or lonely.
"Follow me!" they say,
Belivieve us we will show
you the way!
The cures just an arms reach away!

Sad?
Well joys just a little sniff away, you can even puff if you'd like!
"Look at you, all grown up!"
Depressions easy!
Meet the lips of a bottle to your own, till you forget you're down!
"I think you're getting it!"
And if you're lonely,
Just find another body to lay with.
"See! You can take care of yourself just fine!"

Oh honey they never tell you,
The sniff becomes necessary,
The drinking nightly,
It's only lust,
Never love.
but it's just a little to late,
You drank their Kool-Aid.

I'll give you pleasure,
Then show you pain.
You'll never smile so wide,
Or cry so hard.
It's suffocating in silk.
It's drowning in daffodils.
It's a strange addiction

Can't walk out
If I don't let you in
*finger guns

I couldn't explain how you made me feel
Never before so anyone care,
Never before has someone looked
at me like that,
Never before have I felt it.
It was Love.
But I noticed a little too late.

I am just trying to forget;
Your lips on mine,
Your hands on my waist,
Your name on my tounge.
You're on my mind
And I can't help but think;
Your lips are hers now,
Your hands are on her waist now,
And it's her whispering sweet
nothing's to you at midnight.
It's her, not me.

Please don't say it.
I can't return it.
You should run and hide.
Please stop, you don't understand.
I'm not a good person.
Don't give me that power,
I can't handle it.
If you love me,
Don't trust me.

I told you I was fragile,
But you dropped me anyways.

Look through a liars eyes,
See what betryal,
What pain,
What fear,
Has turned them into.
Only through a liars eyes.

Would you look at that;
I've lost sleep,
                 Weight,
                         Confidence,
                  Control,
And probably my sanity.
What a hell of a week.

When those dark thoughts plague you,
Place you hand over you chest and feel that thump thump.
You are alive.
It is enough.
YOU are enough.

You went for it,
I didn't.
You loved,
I did too.
You confessed it,
I didn't.
You fell,
I did too.
You thought we could make it,
I didn't.

You fight tooth and nail
Until you're sitting on a throne,
On top of a monarchy.
Not only will Society fear you.
Society will surround you,
It suffocate you
And it will tear you apart.
Until finally,
You're a shattered soul beneath a crown,
Nothing but the luxuries you
****** yourself for.

I feel so dead,
The only way I know I'm not
Is the ringing in my ears
and the thump thump in my chest

Save your happy endings for Disney

After building yourself up
so many times after being broken down,
You learn to cherish the pain,
And love your destruction.

I've fallen into an empty void.
I have the will to pull myself out,
But I'm not sure I want to.
I don't feel overwhelmed,
I don't get hurt,
And I'm done crying.

If you think I'm a mess now,
you should should see me without you.

Somethings are more
beautiful while they burn

You are my dark side,
Personified.

You assumed the king was the threat.
That was your first mistake
The queen is the warrior.

After the sun sets,
I can lay awake for hours.
I take comfort in the night.
While the dark envelopes me.
My only company, the stars.

I say I hate you.
Little do you know,
I'm scared to say I love you.

I crave a new feeling.
That near death thrill,
The one that makes you feel so alive.
The falling,
But never landing.
The light,
Followed by darkness.
The knowing,
That you'll only be guessing.

Our love wilted and died.
I left you behind.
I said I'd never look back,
I lied.

We may have kissed,
But not the lips.
We didn't mean to last,
Just distract.
One rule,
No lips.
Lips are for lasting.

I fell before I loved.
A little too hard.
A little too soon.

Who can hear a tree fall in the forest?
Whats another slice in a ****** mess?
Another pill to ease the pain?
Another tear in the rain?
The answer to all of these is the same.
A single step, a step closer to the ledge.
A cliff, a window, a roof, a noose...
These questions are deadly.

I won't leave,
If you can give me a reason not to

With each that falls,
I relive an old pain,
I feel a new sorrow.
The same suffering,
A different agony.
An endless loop,
A momentary relief.

Every time you frown
I feel the need to make you smile.
All you seem to do is lift others up,
even when it pushes you down.
They love you.
But I want to care for you.