Why?
Why then?
Why then did you choose?
Why then did you choose to kiss me?

She's wearing my jeans,
Whilst I wear her hands on my neck.
18, and emotionally drunk.
Is it cheesy to say I don't want this night to end?

People don't know
About the love affair with my thoughts.
We're just like every other couple.
We fight into the night
And poison each other with doubt,
We imprison each other in knotted sheets
And hope the other
Will someday
Get too
Tired

Why was I not enough for you?
Why was I not enough?
Why was I?
Why?

I hate you for leaving. I hate me for believing.

Overthink
I always overthink
My thoughts like permanent ink
One thought
Next to another
All my little rambles
And my annoying little stutters

Dark like my soul
Rainbow like my heart
These colours tell a tale
That has no end or start

The fields are filled with dizzy day blues.
I see them in the daisies
I pick while thinking of you.
I weave my dizzy day blues
And make my crown,
So I can wear my dizzy day blues
For the world to know I'm down.
And even when I smile
I still wear my crown with sorrow,
Because all I want to do
Is lay down in my field
And stay in the dizzy day blues.

I feel like I'm seeing everything
Through foggy windows.
The details they blur
And I can't tell who's friend or foe.
If there's danger
I can't see it.
I'm blind to the reality
That I know haunts me silently.

You can't but help out a broken bird
With broken wings.
It's your poison and addiction.
You just want to see everyone fly.
But what will you do?
When there are no more birds
With broken wings?
What will you do?
When they have all flown away
And there's no one to help you
With your own broken wings?

Origami paper boy
Your paper is pulled too thin,
I see the cracks and creases
They let the darkness in.
Don't you fear the rainy days,
And the wind that pulls your heart?
Do you fear the idea
That your paper days won't last?

Give me an answer,
I'll give you a question.
Tell me your secrets,
And I'll make your thoughts fester.
Whisper under caged sheets
The horrors that drip like tears.
Share you numb thoughts
That slip from your lips.
I'll give you my word
As we're stuck in these silken moments,
That I'll give you my lips
And we'll share our dark thoughts
Because no one knows me
Like my reflection.

Lady of the lonely street
Why do you smile so sadly?
Are your days just as sour as mine?
Or do you bare a pain born of the mind?
I wonder if one day
You'll see me walking too,
See I'm just like you,
I bare a sad smile too.

I speak in monologues
So I don't feel so alone.
I try to fill the empty pauses
with these skeletal thoughts,
Fragments of time locked in my words.

These numb dumb thoughts echo in my head.
Maybe I'll write them down
So my words will fill the empty spaces.
A compendium of romantic tragedies
Drunk in my trauma and
hope.

I'm just another moody poet
With no story to tell

The world is dead
So please wake up
My words are mumbled
But I really want to talk (to you)
I know that time is still catching up
And your mind is just stillborn
But please
I need you
To just say hi to me

Waiting for the trains.
Waiting for the feelings.
Waiting for that, rush.
And something new.
Such dark nights,
I can't see,
But I still keep waiting
For the trains and the feelings

Post it paper hearts
That remember dates
And good for doodles.
So many different colours
And so many different shapes.
These post it note people
Are essential to my day,
But then they disappear.
And you can't remember those
Moments.
Those dates.
You lose all your smiley face doodles.
Post it note people are so rare.
They keep on slipping away,
I'm just not organised enough
To take care of a post it paper heart.

I want to scream, at you,
I want to see you move,
Just a flinch.
Why won't you move?
Why won't you run?
Run, away from me.
Stop looking at me.
With that look in your eye,
My eye.
I.
I want to run away.
Run away, with me,
Stop holding me here.
I need to scream,
Scream.
I need to stop screaming at me.

We are tired.
So very very tired.
Everything feels like a waste of time
And our minds feel tired.
Our bones won't respond.
Their eyes look bored
And the train of thought has paused.
Everything feels so insufferable,
Nothing feels new or true anymore.

This kind of tired
Was born in us.
And somehow it has tangled its way
Around our hearts.
The dreary days come from years
Of waking to the same
Numb dumb feeling in our smiles.
We feel motion sickness in our hands
From writing all these bubblegum dreams
Knowing that our reality
Will never be as sweet
As the dreams that come from sleep.

It's the tragic trend of the generation
That spent so long overthinking
That they figured it all out.
Now our anxious minds feel the tired
From knowing the illusion has reached the credits.
There's no reset button,
And we're too poor to drown in the dust
Of the bones of those from before.
So we'll stay tired
And drown in bittersweet fallacies
Waking and hating
The haunting reality.

Sometimes I feel
Like I'm speaking in code,
Because no one understands my rambles.
No one understands these numb dumb blues.
So I'll keep looking for the one
The one who understands the code
And make small talk feel like stories,
And tell me all their tiny little thoughts.
And while I'm waiting,
I'll keep looking for you
Lost in wavelength code

I wait up till 12 at night
Just to see if you'll reply.
I remember every text
All the secrets that we told.
I feel so scared to open up,
Do you feel scared too
Or is this just you?
Am I another text in the night?
Are these just pixels, not feelings?
We send and received,
There's a time stamp on our moments.

Please will you stay up with me at 12 at night
And say goodnight

A shade of blue
Can plague the mind
A shade of green
Can turn the kind
A shade of red
Can break the stable
And yet...
A shade of yellow
Won't break the many
So many hues
And yet we don't see them all.

Hold my hand
And keep me steady.
I'm feeling weak
I'm not ready.
I thought I could
Be big and strong,
But my mind is fuzzy
And I was wrong.