Hold me and I will be held
Embrace me and I will be embraced
Kiss me and I am softly kissed

He could not do what you do
even when I pressed
I wanted him to hold me
I needed him to embrace me
Wonder was reared when his kisses felt wrong

You and I fit
my hand in yours
How is it so perfect,
you are my answered prayer

You and I are just...everything.

Lateness of night,the earliness of morning
where the twine meet between stars and dawn
I feel the ******* of fear and anxiety that won't
leave willingly.
Where is my armor and my weapons to fight,
even being girded,I feel so lost to the Art of War.
The heart beats,the blood flows,eyes are dry
my body is at peace...
then a big bang of creation of ******* of peace to panic
and terror begins to lord over me...soul and body to become
my Master.
Control lost,dignity shattered,the Master takes over,
my body overtaken with fits of puppetry,the fear ravages my psyche,
I am losing myself.
God Almighty hear the piercing cry of the violent silence,
help me for I am helpless,hopeless to return my sanity,
the peace I had possessed.
Fear cuts me and I bleeding out hope...
Stop this chaos of flinging limbs without knowledge of it's humanity.
Dear Jesus hear my pain for it speaks from the grave that should be empty because You took my place.
Fear and its legion try to resurrect the old man and it's sins that are gone by your love.
Fear was my name but You gave me a new name
speak it over me so I can fight one more battle,this one,
the war I leave to You.
Permeate my being with Light to illuminate all the fear torn darkness.
As I shiver down to my bones,I wait in hope and childlike tears to be redeemed and saved by your loving hand just one more time.

Your hand in mine
Heart beats with time
Sunlight encompasses your eyes
Curvature of your muscles,the perfect size
Embracing my vulnerability
You the Poet,a romantic ability
Lingering in your kiss
When your gone,your presence I miss
So blessed to be in love with you
You & I Darling forever & always true

Yearning for his attention
I sing my beautiful song
revealing some of my vibrant colors
not all them because he is not mine yet

Why does he use her?
For his own loneliness or to make me jealous,or both
Why?
Longing for his touch

It is not my nature to play these games
I just want the two of us to become one
Live our loves together
Stop the cold & be warm with me

Make life simple,admit your love for me
Her hand does not fit your hand
But mine fits perfectly
My song & your song makes a lovely melody

How long can I wait,it is growing in time to fly to warmer shores
Behold you are creating wounds where hope had it's home
Indeed it is time to make a choice
Choose your doubt or your faith with mine

I stand on the top branch
I sing the last of my melody
I set off to take flight
One last look at you I await your answer...

The feelings of light and dark in my soul
Swirling thoughts that have stole
The beautiful stars hidden in the twilight
hiding the powerful light
that could illuminate my silence
a prisoner no more behind the enemies fence
A virtuous Power bestowed upon me an anointed pen
Giving me an understanding of my goodness and sin
to light the clouded looking glass to see the depth of my nature honoring my anointed pen to begin the healing in my venture
This pen opens the hurts,wounds,and pain
helping me from ashes to beauty,never staying the same
Behold I see more of this looking glass,I don't have to live in the fear
I just have to be brave,of great courage and stand and fight right here

Seeing you and those butterflies arrive
they only come when I see your eyes
your words make me laugh and smile
your accidental touch transports me for awhile
How to make you mine
seeing you warming your charms to another
this rips me in two
Can't you see me more than a friend
You admire my beauty,I make you laugh and engage you
What else must I do?
These butterflies won't leave me alone
now it is a torment my heart moans
Heart beats fast and I feel faint
The butterflies no longer bring me joy,but sorrow
Day by day hoping the butterflies finally leave  
And I can finally take a new breath for tomorrow

Who will comfort me
You say you,but I can't find you
even when your next to me
Why did you stand so stern next to me in
our beginning
What has changed
My soul,spirit,and tears are the same
just filled with more years and experience
You encourage me and say you will never leave me or forsake me,
but God promised that
And I have been bruised with such pain of your absence
Being alone and together is a slow death of the heart
No more empty promises
I want your word,your personal truth
Because I need our love to be built on trust
And I can't believe without truth
I have learned you can't be my everything,
no matter how bad I yearn,ache,and desire
But you have a part to play and you must practice
It all depends on if you really love me,
if you do...show me.
Loving is more than the good or even the bad
it is about building a life together.
So show me...who will comfort me

I am so sorry I brought more than me to this marriage
Bringing all those years of tears and scars
Memories I wish I could burn in the heat of the sun
Never to feel those emotions control my heart
To have faith in you without the endless reassurance of your love,
year,month,day, and insecure moments

They said they loved me too
Never to leave me
Acceptance of me-past,present,future
I felt safe...for awhile.

Yet you say you will never leave me
That you really see me...
You tell me I am your home.
If I could just be loved like I have never been hurt
But I was.
I will trust,rely,and adhere to your love
I choose to honor you and our vows
Releasing my faith in my God that he chose the perfect puzzle
piece for me Spirit,Soul,and Body
I love you my Love
I put my faith in your eyes,your tender caress of my tears,your embraces when I'm afraid,and cheering me on
whether I succeed or fail.
And as each day passes your love heals my scars
and I don't need the sun anymore,
Your love made me forget.

Impossible.That is what it feels like.
How can darkness be this dark.
I can see the Light,but the enemy tells me I cannot reach it.
I feel this sinking feeling deep inside me.
I am so scared,can you understand?
Am I the only one who feels alone?
I feel weak,tired,hopeless...
My emotions swirl around my soul giving me a feeling
no words can describe.
But I still see the Light,I hear the Voice that says I am not alone,
I feel the pain, yet I know deep,deep, inside me their is a higher truth than my dark signings,there is Hope,Faith,Love.
Please show me how to get out of my own way.
I need Truth, I not only need that Light, I hunger and thirst for it.
I need that Light to envelop everything that I am
giving me what I have always yearned for, to fill the emptiness
and heal my scars.

Who am I?
Inner most me I cry
I feel like I don't know.
So much of me I just can't show

Me the three part being
Recognize not the song I keep singing
Spirit,soul,body
Deeply feeling so shoddy

What a jest,me evolve
Difficult equation that I cannot solve
Yearning to change,never the same
Make the pain leave,stop the blame

Where's the Light, searching for hope
Need strength to loosen the rope
The waters have over taken me in it's mighty tide
Faith lead me on this roller coaster ride

So who am I,learning a step day by day
Being alone my choice don't have to be this way
Life and beauty can be a part of my path
Saying no to the war that has tried to claim me and it's terrible wrath

When life shows the ugliness of Man
we must find and present the Beauty of Man.
When facing our fears it does not mean
we no longer feel afraid,
it simply means we must take a leap of faith and courage
and hold on dearly to the Light of Hope.
Fear wins when we give up.
If we find ourselves in a moment of losing to fear,
take a deep breath,forgive ourselves,look to Heaven for strength,
allow the Light of Hope to raise us up,
dust ourselves off and begin walking again
on this Path we call life.

My body...
how I remember no pain,
just day to day goodness and imagination
being,doing, I was free.
Then the bonds came.
Why do I deserve this,what have I done?
The pain ripples through my body like a pebble in the water.
Tears please stop...pain please stop.
Someone please help me...anybody?
Can you help?
I want to hear the bell of freedom,
the soothing melody of mercy,hope, and peace.
I dream of a permanent solution,but there is a spark,
a spark of light that says don't give up.
Especially like that.
Tired of fighting to be strong,
this moment of weakness feels like forever.
Must fight...why is that again?
He needs me he says,
is that enough to stay stalwart?
Just live this moment out,
breathe...breathe...breathe.

Hello?
How are you?
Are you them?
The light to eliminate the darkness
to take care of me when I hurt
The One to wipe the sweat from my brow
To absorb the tear drops in your finger tips
Embracing me when I am afraid
Encourage me when I am low
Hand in hand,hand in mine
Fingers completely intertwined
My spirit to your spirit God carves into time
Your my home through out eternity
Remember I through the light of the stars
And the courage of my bravery
It all started with a “Hello.”

Invisible,is that what I am?
Can you really see me, my smiles, my tears?
Why can't you love me, am I unlovable?
I want to care,I want to love,I want to feel...
but feel no more pain,no more empty, no more aching,
aching to see a light of empathy in your eyes.
I hold my heart...tight, I have to protect it.
I can't be vulnerable, though I long for it.
Can't I take the masks off and be me and loved?
What do I have to do?
Who do I need to be?
Dear God...please,please...I just want to be loved.

Who is Husband?
Can I put him to the left or to the right,
no he is more than the fork in the road,
he is the road.
On the path I walk and see the most handsome trees
filled with such vibrant color and strength.
The color captures the eyes of my imagination,
the strength makes me feel safe in spite of the gale that blows.
I see all kinds of strange and wonderful things that is the compass of his soul,tears of joy dance across my face and make me forget my troubles.
His spirit has such grace and wisdom,he stands in understanding
and I know I can bring any problem to the chamber of comfort that is his embrace.
I walk my path and fall from exhaustion of breathing the breath of Woman,
and he comes in gentleness and surrounds me with the kindness and mercy of my Godly Father.
His words clothe me when I am naked and afraid,
and no judgement can wrap around me for he bends it to his loving will.
He came into my world inhabiting the presence of devotion, revealing to me true love.

I  need so to be...me.
But I can get more attention and love
with this mask.
I can mold myself to you,
to be what you need.
Never mind my misery.
You come first always,remember?
I bury myself deeper than any corpse,
yet my breath is shown in the coldness of your heart.
Loneliness is a cloak I would joyfully rip off and bury
in the depth of my memory,
and when it would try to surface, it would be
blinded by the light of the truest Spirit of Love.
The mask would burn,
then Loneliness would leave forever more,because
I was loved for an amazing reason... I was loved for Me.

Dream...
do I dare?
Dreaming,floating, being every where,
where there is hope and peace,
where I am safe and no one to appease.
No heartache,no heart break,nothing to fear,
stillness of soul,no hurt,pain,or a single tear.
Freedom is my blood flowing within mine,
none to hinder imagination,free to find,
Happiness,joy,and abundant love,
God the Father giving from above.
I need Him to unshackle each thought,
each one with His love He bought,
so I can dream without cause,
not always bound to my flaws.
Because in my dreams I am free,
anything,anyone I can be.
Not a captive in my jail,
where I am so weak and frail.
Dreaming I am always youthful and strong,
me the butterfly and flying is my song...
I am free...I am free,free to Dream.

Being alone.
Loneliness longer than a breath.
Crying without sound.
Tis' a slow death for thine soul.

Aching in the ocean of loneliness.
Does anyone truly understand?
Being stuck in time on a loop
in a sea of people, feeling
even more lonely in their presence.
How in the world on this planet earth
of billions, how do I feel so alone?
I long for an understanding look,
an embrace of friendship.I read and watch
stories unfold of a hand of friendship
always extended standing by their side through
all the bruises,pain, and tears,yet
their faithfulness is tested and they are
always there for their friends.
King Solomon wrote the proverb that
there is a friend who is closer than a brother...
I long for that closeness.
I long to celebrate true love in friendship,
where you walk together through hardship
and you see two set of foot prints walking
together in the sand.
I look to the Heavens to please answer my cry.
I need a true friend.

The trees and flowers bloom,
so do I for you.
Spring breathes a sigh of relief,
crowned with power and a loving belief.
That this is the time for lovers
with passion brimming over.
Smell her fragrance,the intoxicating scent,
wrapping around us making me enamored and content.
The winter season grew cold to ice my heart,
to freeze me,so I would fall apart.
Thank God for the sun and it's light,
empowering me so I could fight.
Thank you Spring for your season,
giving me enlightened reason
to work on my commitment for my love,
gaining wisdom from my Father above.
Spring you rejuvenate me every year.
I wish you could stay ever near.

Beloved,are you my Beloved?
I waited for you before our eyes met.
Unsure in my feelings,scared,fearful.
Will you Beloved keep my heart safe
connected to your heart?Or
will I be crushed by your unloving
breathing? I want to take a chance,
my foot hovers over the chasm.
Will faith sustain and nourish us?
Is that fragrant perfume in the air ours,
will it surround us and keep us?
Behold are you my Beloved?
I will take your hand My Love,
Hope will be our sunrise for life
and we will become Beloved.

Do you miss me...
I miss you more than the oceans would miss the moon.
I remember you,but more than memories,more than thoughts,
more than feelings,
I miss you with my spirit,
from everlasting to everlasting.
Your soft mother like eyes,your voice that soothed every heartache,
your soft thin skinned hands that were more gentle than a deer with its new born baby doe.
Through my child's heart I was overwhelmed with your beautiful,
treasure filled acceptance of me.
Who I was and who I was going to be...simply me.
You helped me feel true loving kindness,laughter, and awe
of the world and it's earth filled goodness.
You were my favorite book that came to life
and your story showed me how to treat and respect mankind with
an open hand of giving.
Please miss me even though you are covered in glory,
wait for me as I yearningly wait for you.
I love you...always have,always will.

Can you see me?
Can you hear me?
                           What do I have to do?
They say be yourself,but what if I am still figuring that out?
Could I not be the wind,powerful,able to embrace who I want
and blow away the ones that curse my gale.
I want to be cared for and loved...
No more pleading with my eyes and body.
Aching inside (it hurts,tears fall).
Maybe I am destined to be alone...
but that is to cruel.
Can anyone see my potential and my goodness?
I have so much to give,is it wrong that I want to receive also.
I thirst and hunger for love.
Just wish they could see me,
the real me.

Trials,tribulation,hurts,anguish.pain.
How do we live through these and stay sane?
Parents are suppose to supply us with weapons to fight,
but I had no such teaching,how do I make problems right?
I am going through so much and it is so hard.
Understand humanity-myself,like the Great Bard.
How to be the adult with all the solutions.
I want it to stop...need a resolution.

So I have to believe,take a leap of faith.
Not walk around like I am some kind of wraith.
Stop looking behind,straining forward.
Knowing someday.end of life,finally go homeward.
Dwell in the secret Place of the Most High,
Being shown that God will never lie.
His Word is a Lamp unto my feet,a Light unto my path.
God+His Word+Me equals perfect math.
Doing better than making it stop and their will be a resolution.
Therefore, I will have hope because it is God the Father who is my solution.

Believe...
I want to...
Believe.
I yearn to dream,without the nightmares.
I want to experience color in all it's depth.
I desire to fly,to escape,
to be free.
I want to love and be loved back with more than was given.
I hope to sleep to sleep in peace where my pain can't touch me.
I cry to the expanse of the starry heavens for hope,for hope to be my skin wrapping me from within.
I yearn,dream,want,desire,hope,and cry... to Believe.
I must take a leap of Faith,so I can...Believe.

Sing the melody of the seasons of our song
Training wheels on now there gone
The elation of accomplishment on my own
My joy had a the highest tone.

Fear of the water,it looked so deep
Had no one to teach,learning the independence I would ever keep
No jumping in,went step by step
The water and I stroke by stroke I met.

She was weird,odd,funny like me
Did not mesh at first,but God knew it would be
She was my best friend,our friendship was perfect math
Seasons changed,years passed,broken heart, the fork asundered our path

First boyfriend,really cute,dull humor, flat flute
Stayed for insecurity,first break up,we did not suit
Sappy songs,girl talk,ate many sweet treats
Learned much,gained confidence for the Prince I'd later meet.

Life is hard and it can labor our breath
Taking God's hand,walking step by step
Just hope,have faith, and believe
Learning as we go,lean on the light so we can see

I do not want to hurt anymore,
I want to be free of this burden,
I want to tell my body what for,
To be healed all of a sudden.

I want to walk and run,
Complete and free,
To do more and then some,
I just want to be.

They do not understand,
How could they?
The pain there to stand,
Scared to what to say.

Wanting someone to care,
Feeling much with their heart,
Not alone to bear,
Ready to make a start.

To be there in my need,
Accept me where and who I may be,
Spirit to Spirit standing in my stead,
In never leaving or saying goodbye to me.

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
think it's more than you can take
But your stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You've gotta face the clouds
to find the silver lining

I've Seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's What Faith Can Do

Innocence, the glorious array we are born with.
Their is no impossible with our Innocence.
Want to fly? You can.
High in the sky,with the birds,and the clouds,
looking down at your world,but you want more...
Break the atmosphere,make the stars your friends,
the planets your domain,the universe is your backyard.
I am a superhero.I help the helpless and the hurting,
their is nothing that I can't do!
I want a pony,so my dog and I go on amazing adventures.
I must protect the human race against evil,
so I can move you with the powers of my mind.
I can dance,sing,build,draw,I am an Artist and I am so good.
My works are shown at the exhibit called,"The Fridge".
Santa does not just come for Christmas,I can ride in his
sleigh anytime of the year.
God is my best Friend and He loves me so much.
Their is nothing I can't do.
What about now?I am an adult,what happens to my Innocence?
I hold it close,and tell no one...
I am still a singer,dancer,Artist.
I can do anything I set my mind to.
My Innocence becomes hope and grows into faith.
I am still a superhero and God the Father is still my best friend,
and my Innocence...I hold close to my heart and I dream.

I was afraid and scared and alone.
No one their to comfort me,I
was only a little girl with no one to look up to.
Then the one that broke up my family also
brought me light,Your Light.
Your Word said You loved me,
created me to fellowship with you.
I was bad,ugly,sinful not worth anybody's time
especially not God's...I was unworthy.
But you spoke truth in my heart,my soul,my spirit.
I had not cried for so long,then You broke the gates.
You loved me...me.
I did not have to earn Your Love,You gave it so freely.
You wanted me,I never felt like anybody wanted me,but You did.
The pain,the abuse was so deep Lord some how You could penetrate
the walls I built by heartbreak and such unspeakable pain,
and You began loving me,healing me.
You made me feel special.
That I was worth the breath that lived inside of me.
Jesus You saved my life,I would have took it and looking back what
a waste that would have been.
It is not always easy,but You are so worth it.
Thank you for loving me,when no one saw me.
You are my heart...I love you.

Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking,
When their are clouds in the sky,you'll get by,
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you...

Why do you look at me that way?
You know I can no longer stay.
You thought you could simply lie
and I wouldn't question the why's.
You played the Actor who did care
and with my heart you were not fair.
You would leave her then come to me,
Acting like it was just me and you and you were free.
How could you look me straight in my eyes,
knowledge of your misleading disguise.
You broke my heart, almost broke me.
At first I did not feel free,
At the end I'm glad I stood my ground,
And still to this day I found,that to my heart you are still bound.

Could you love me when I laugh,
Could you love me when I'm daft?
Could you love me when I cry,
Could you love me when you don't know why?
Could you love me when I don't feel pretty,
Could you love me when I want your pity?
Could you love me when I feel pain,
Could you love me when you feel the same?
Could you love me when I love you,
Could you love me and love me true?