*****


Apr 7, 2012, 6:08:21 PM by ~OmegaWolfOfWinter
Journals / Personal




"Name: Amelia Weissmuler. Date of birth: June 6th, 1920. Test subject number 314-X. Specimen: Tiger." Amy heard all of this through a haze of sedatives that had begun to lose their already poor effect. She turned in the direction of the voice and saw a fearsome **** SS General standing behind a white clad scientist with a heavy accent. The general said nothing but listened and watched as Amy was strapped down to a cold metal table, completely **** with various wires, tubes and needles protruding from her flesh. She groaned painfully, the needles were extensive, and the **** scientists had no care of decency or respect. she was hit with another sedative and before she lost consciousness she heard the scientist, who she guessed was Dr. Heismeiller, say, "Name, Mordecai Dansker, former Major of the Third *****. Date of birth: September 19th, 1919. Test subject 14-W. Specimen: Wolf. As you
can see, Heir General, these are both healthy specimens, as are the test subjects." Amy heard a
rattling of cages. Her vison slowly went dark but not before seeing the doctor's face, uncovered and psychotic.
* *
When Amy woke up again, she was being suspended from the floor, the tubes and wires accompanied by menacing electrodes. there was an unnatural blue and white crackling of electricity around her, illuminating the other suspended tables nearby, the bodies in various grotesque positions and levels of decay. she tried to scream but found a machine unceremoniously shoved in her mouth, stretching deep inside her. she looked and saw nothing but obscene machines and various glass tubes of colored bubbling liquids. she tried sluggishly to break free but to no avail. what little strength she had was useless against the torturous devices emplanted in and around her. "Doctor, begin the experiment."
"Yaboe!" She heard a solid click resound through the room and heard a male scream in another room. the screams echoed for a long while, then nothing. she heard a gasp of releif from
the doctor and, "General! Subject 14-W... he has... Survived!"
"Good. now start on the frauline." there was a large thud from outside the room. "Quickly! this facility is under seige!"
"Yes sir, heir general. Test subject 314-X prepped and ready. Begin phase 1." she cried out silently as the needles burned hot inside her and the tubes boiled her insides. the electrodes soon incapacitated her and she fell unconscious.
*
*
"Phase 1 complete, heir general, subject is ready, proceeding to Phase 2."
Amy felt an intense burning around the needles, and an electric fire through her veins. the machine had been taken from her mouth, but she doubted she could scream any more, as her throat was raw from the silent screams of Phase 1. She felt her body shake uncontrollably as more electric shocks were administered. she was left panting and slumped over. "Sequence complete, the bonding process was a success." there was another thud and sediment from the roof fell to the floor. "Get her down now! They will be through soon!" She was lowered to the ground and unstrapped from the table, picked up, and placed on a stretcher. she raised her hands on front her face and nearly fainted, her hands, or paws, resembled that of a tiger, and as she looked, her whole body was covered in a slick orange, black and white fur. She was put into the backseat of an armored car with a simple blanket draped around
her. Amy felt nauseated
as the car sped off. It hit a bump in the road and she moaned painfully, clutching her furry belly and retching. the **** next to her turned away in disgust. the car ride was long and sickening, and she lost consciousness twice, and finally she tried to lay down in the cramped space. when the armored car finally stopped, she was pulled from the back seat and carried over a soldier's shoulder and into a small bunker. Once inside, amy heard a metal door open and was laid down onto a stiff bed with a single pillow and a single cover. There was a small window in the cell, a drab, grey stream of light shining in her eyes. She propped herself up on her elbow and shielded her eyes from the blinding contrast. Once her eyes adjusted, amy noticed that things had a particular sharpness to them and she had an acute awareness of things based on scent. she stood shakily, and noticed she was almost
six inches taller now, and her new tail swished back and forth along the concrete floor. she stepped
forward and grasped the iron bars and peeked out, seeing a black leather messenger bag and a black uniform lined with white. she couldn't quite reach the uniform, but was able to get a claw around the strap of the messenger bag. she pulled it closer to her and saw that her initials were monogrammed into the leather. she pulled it through the bars and opened the bag, pulling out a small, blank, leather bound journal and a pen. still ****, she sat on the bed and practiced writing, tearing out two pages of scratch paper. She began her journal with, "I am no longer the person i once was. i am something new, something... different."
• * *
The **** captain stepped into the bunker and saw amy, half lying, half dangling on the bed, the leather journal clutched close to her chest. he stormed into the cell and backhanded her awake, snatching up the journal as she cowered in the corner, her tail wrapped around her. the captain flipped through the pages of the journal and then closed iit with a snap. he glanced at it and dropped it on the bed. "it is yours now, Frauline. you are very special to the third *****. the fuhrer himself has asked for you to be placed in the Waffen SS and trained." amy glanced at the uniform on the table outside the cell and he nodded, "specially tailored for you, frauline. he stepped outside the cell and grabbed the uniform, setting it down on the bed. "you may Change into your new uniform and join the rest of us outside." he stepped outside and she was alone. she donned the simple uNdergarments then
slipped into the soft black trousers, after which she put on her military boots. next she put on the black and white jacket signature of the SS. the jacket was sleek and menacing, though it did little to flatten her chest, but that, she supposed, was one of her feminine charms. last was her hat and armband, both adorned with the *******. she gathered the leather messenger bag and stepped outside the cell, where a mirror stood, giving her a chance to see what had been done, the black uniform was a dramatic contrast to her brightly colored fur, and her new black stripes added a fierce look to her. she grinned and flashed menacing white teeth. she turned her body, looking at herself from different points of view. she slipped the **** armband onto her right arm and turned to leave. she stopped when she encountered a high pitch noise right next to the door. for the moment she just walked past, opening the door and adjusting her vision to the outside light. the layout was grey and barren,
as it always was in wartime. the captain was waiting for her along with a small squad of SS troops. a
Few laughed and remarked at her appearance, making cat noises and wolf whistling at her. she glared at them with a bright white snarl carved into her soft face. *they will fear me...
she saluted the captain and said, "heil ******." he returned the gesture, "heil. you are now part of the Waffen SS, frauline Amelia."
"please sir, its amy."
he noted her directness and ferocity, "very well, amy. before we assign you a task, though, you must prove yourself." he addressed the squad, "they are all corporal's and sergeants. you are merely a private. you will gain a rank for each one that you ****. however, they have been told that if they do not force you to submit, they will be killed or sent to the russian front. so you best fight your hardest, private amy."
as he finished, the squad set down their Mauser 98K's and MP-40's and stepped closer to her. her eyes widened in shock, then narrowed in ferocious determination. there were twelve of them.
"Fight!"
• *
Amy took a fighting stance and faced her attackers. she attempted a punch at the nearest one but was kneed in the gut, she was thrown back a few feet. she fell to her knees and clutched her stomach with one hand, holding herself upright with the other. tears sprung to life in her eyes and threatened to roll down her cheeks. she fought the tears back and stood, feeling her claws extend. she swiped at a soldier's throat, catching him right in the throat. blood splattered the ground as he choked on his own fluids. the remaining eleven were taken aback slightly, allowing her to pounce another soldier, punching and tearing at his gut with lethal force. her fur was bloodstained and she waited a moment too late, watching the cavity she created fill with blood. she was barreled over, the wind knocked out of her by a sergeant. she lay on her back, gasping for air as the soldiers closed in,
landing a few punches and sending her reeling back. she staggered back, struggling for breath. she
Bumped up against something and realized it was a bunker wall, she was trapped. she thought quickly and decided for a new course of action, she waited for one of them to gather his bravado and throw a solid punch at her, which was useless, she grabbed his wrist and smashed his head against the wall, filling his helmet with blood and brains. in the same move, she had grabbed his Luger and had downed three more of the remaining ten. in their moment of confusion she kicked the closest one in the fork of his legs and followed up with a pistolwhip. the man went down quickly and died by the heel of her merciless boot. the remaining six charged at her, one falling by her last bullet and another caught a swift kick in the ribcage, shattering the bones to peices. the rest of the men were sergeants, and they began to retreat, running into the open field. she was about to chase after them when she
heard another Luger fire. she turned to see the captain shooting the deserters. each fell, one by
One by the captain's gun to her surprise he let a single man go. "you have done very well, frauline amy. you have killed eight out of twelve men, not bad at all."
she was panting, her uniform dirtied, "why.. did you let.. him go?"
the captain smiled, "someone has to spread you're reputation, heir captain."
she gaped at him. "i am... captain?"
"yaboe, heir frauline. you have proved yourself worthy to serve under the fuhrer."
she saluted him, "thank you, heir captain."
*
amy wrote in her journal as they were driven to one of the Stalags: "my promotion to captain has earned me my choice of weapons, ive chosen a few, two long barrel Luger's, a cavalry saber, and a sixteen foot bullwhip. i also carry an automatic Mauser in my messenger bag. other than a few knives carefully hidden on my body, that should be it. ive become the fuhrer's favorite enforcer, though i feel as if i'm forgetting something..."
amy closed the journal and placed it in her bag with a soft snap.
Amy waited for a **** private to open the car door and let her out, tapping her foot impatiently. when he finally came, she had a luger pointed at his chest. "you're late. she got out of the car and shot him, holstering the pistol as he crumpled to the ground. the colonel in charge rushed towards her, "what is the meaning of this?!"
"your man on watch was late, and now he'll never be late again. and also, colonel, as i am a captain in the SS, i am your superior officer and you WILL adjust yourself accordingly or i will replace you with someone who will."
his expression was that of shock, "y-yes, heir captain, please follow me." he escorted her quickly to the main building. amy glanced around at the peering POWs, glaring at them with distaste as they whistled at her. "who's the kitty?" "what the hell is that?"
her hands fell to her lugers and she was ready to fire when she was beckoned inside by the colonel and she followed behind him reluctantly. "you should control your prisoners.
i find an overall lack of order in this camp. you're lucky i'm in a good mood, or i'd have you strung up for incompetence. lets hope my further evaluation of this... facility... does not make me any more inclined to do so."
the colonel stuttered again and dipped his head, "y-yes heir captain."
she stepped outside unopposed by any. she snapped her fingers and a sergeant rushed to her side and saluted. she handed him a journal logbook and he opened it to the page marked with the Stalag number. she entered the closed off areas of the stalag to inspect the barracks.
*
amy's fists were clenched with rag, a prisoner mocked her from within his confines. his fellow prisoners pleaded with him to stop. "she's lethal!" "she killed eight SS sergeants and corporals singelhandedly her first day!"
the prisoner ignored them and began gesturing at her. she snapped her head up and their eyes met for an instant, she growled through a gritted snarl and was over the fence in mere moments. once over,
the prisoner that mocked her was now on the ground, his throat between her fangs. he cried out once and then gurgled blood as she tore out his throat. she spat the flesh onto the dirt and stood, brushing the dusty particles from her uniform. the men around her backed away when she approached them, and watched her cautiously as she stepped back out of the fenceline. amy picked up her cap from the ground and brushed it off. one of the prisoners called for a doctor, and when one of the guards began to look for one, she merely said, "no, he wont survive. leave him be."
the soldier saluted and went back to his post. she walked up to the colonel and said, "your prisoner annoyed me, as do you, colonel. you have three days to turn this place around or you'll end up worse off then your prisoner over there."
the colonel had turned a pale white and whispered, "understood, captain."
she returned to her quarters and listened for a moment as the colonel shouted orders. "that was fun." she remarked.

Amy was asleep in one of the larger rooms in the main  building, her uniform folded neatly on the table near the bed. she kep one luger on her bedside table and the mauser under her pilllow. her other luger, her sword and her whip were next to her clothes. she was clad only in her fur, as she'd found that the most comfortable way to sleep.
she was woken up by a knock at the door. she blinked her eyes a few times. clutching the mauser handle with one hand and holding the blanket to her chest with the other, she said, "what is it?"
"the colonel wishes to speak to you, heir frauline."
she growled, "grrr... fine. tell him to make it quick." she clutched the blanket closer as he opened the door. she held the mauser aimed at him and said, "turn." he did so without hesitation. she slipped cautiously out of the bed and began to dress. "what is it you wished to speak with me about, colonel?" amy put on her undergarments and then pulled her trousers up to her waist, fastening the belt comfortably.
"there is an important telegram for you, heir captain." she pulled on the jacket over her simple shirt, tugging out any wrinkles. "oh? from who?" next came the holster belts, each hanging slightly lower than her first belt. her sword was another belt, and there was a custom clip there for her whip as well.
"Himler, he has special orders for you." her messenger bag was next to last, slung over her shoulder before she slipped into her boots. ""You can turn now. hand them here." she stepped closer to him and took the envelope with her name scrawled on the front. the colonel excused himself so she could read the orders, "captain amelia weissmuler, once you have completed your assignment at Stalag 14, please make haste to stalingrad as there has been a number of our own turning against the *****. see to it that they cause no more problems. -heinrich himler"
she read it through three more times before folding it and placing it in her bag. she hurried outside, grabbing her hat
From the dresser.
* *
amy went about her inspection, seeing nothing wrong today. "the condition of stalag 16 has improved, heir colonel. well done. now send my car around." the colonel grinned and motioned for the car.
the black car adorned with swastikas roared to life, coming up beside her. the d

You could pull on my hearg strings
And play the melodies you like
You could have all of me
And could become my life
I've been walking blindly
And you could be my light.

I could give up my habits, my addictions
And let you be my new affliction
I've been dividing  myself
And you could be the greatest addition
I've been walking blindy
And you could be my vison.


You could calm my strife
You could be the one to fix my sight.

Little rag doll in poses I place, smiles non linear
lipstick is smeared not as it should be perfection
is not on the features as statically smiling.

Meagerly patched doll how you are in my thoughts.
Knotted hair ill placed bobbles that don't show
the best of the features frozen on your hollow face.

mismatched clothes not in a way a woman of choosing
would place, odd socks an ankle one, poppy long stocking
contrasting is size and colour but you'll never know.

I look at you, a Picasso of imagery displaced on your face.
Looking like you got dressed in the closet blindfolded and
alone. My little rag doll I strategic leave in a lonely place.

I collect these porcine eyes drained of essence, I open
your thoughts and they are discarded in a bag.
Later your thoughts will feed my hungry dog.

I leave you empty vacant as you should be, my rag doll
with uninhabited motivation. hollowed shell of what you
used to be, blank stares between you and me go silently.

They find my dolls in there houses distorted like my
vison of how sights are seen. A play house of disillusion,
my dolls are my creations come will you be a rag doll for me.

The Scientist

“Good evening everyone, I’m your host Andrew Pittman here with my beautiful girlfriend Rachel and my new friends Nathan and Amanda and we are about to enter the house of the famous Dr. James Allen Burke.
I honestly can’t wait to meet the man and to upload this amazing video so you all can admire and take in my hard work.
If it wasn’t for you guys, my loyal viewers, I wouldn’t be doing this.
I’m a little nervous to find out what Dr. Burke is up too, but this is an opportunity I can’t afford to miss.
I will keep the tape rolling the entire time I’m in there to capture everything that happens on camera for you guys.
I’m sure viewer discretion will be advised.
We are arriving at the front door of Dr. Burke’s home now so here goes nothing!
Hopefully I don’t capture anything too disgusting.”

Nathan opens the front door and welcomes us inside the home of Dr. Burke.
Once inside, he looks into the camera, winks and gives a little smirk.
The house is rather chilly and dark,
but massive in scope, a palace for a true monarch.

All the lights are turned off as if no one is even home.
Sitting in the corner of what appears to be a living room stands a rather creepy gnome.
The house is silent; I’m convinced we would be able to hear a pin drop.
I wonder where Dr. Burke is hiding amongst this lifeless backdrop.

Nathan stops walking and looks directly into my camera.
He speaks into it saying what we are about to witness will be glamorous.
He says that we are about to head downstairs where all of the festivities are taking place,
then looks at me and says he can’t wait to see the shock on my pale face.

Nathan opens a door revealing a dark staircase with a glimmer of light at the bottom.
I’m not sure if this will lead to something amazing or a problem.
Wish I had a minute to chug a bottle
before walking into this man’s basement full throttle.

I’m not going to lie to my viewers, I’m feeling rather uneasy about this.
I grab Rachel and give her a kiss
as we begin to descend into the basement via the staircase.
We are moments away from finding out what is going on in this place.

We reach the bottom of the staircase to discover a large room full of medical equipment and other devices.
Looking at all of the equipment, I can’t imagine all of their prices.
A man is standing over a girl who’s lying unconscious on it.
A sight that is a little disturbing, I will admit.
A body covered up with a sheet lies on a table next to the girl.
Thoughts of what possibly is going on here deep in my dome begin to swirl.

“Doctor Burke, I hope you don’t mind but I have brought some new friends of mine with me to see this miraculous moment happen.
They are a little uneasy about what’s going on here but I’m sure that soon they will be clapping.”

“Doctor Burke!  You are a legend!  It’s great to meet you, my name is Andrew and this is my girlfriend Rachel, I’m here to capture this…moment on camera if you don’t mind.”

“Welcome my new friends and I don’t mind at all.
The worlds preconceived beliefs and notions on what medicine and science can achieve are about to fall!
What I have done here will change the fate of mankind forever!
The day in which we die will soon become never.”

“What do you mean?
What are you doing here?”

I notice the girl is bald and has stiches all around her head.
Did he bring her back from the dead?
What’s the deal with the body under the blanket on the other table?
This man is either a one of a kind genius or completely unstable.

“I will explain everything to you right now.
Get ready to raise your eyebrows.
This young girl here is named Sarah.
She was a nice girl but like to wear too much mascara.
Anyways, her parents contacted me awhile back asking me for my help and guidance.
You see, what they discovered dear Sarah was up too had them frightened.
It turns out that Sarah’s sister discovered her having *** with the family dog.
She confessed to her sister that she was addicted to *** and that the dog was the main character of her ****** catalogue.
She then tried to convince her sister into joining her in bed.
Her sister ran away from her with her heart filled with dread.
She reported what Sarah was doing to her parents and they immediately contacted me to help them find a way to cure her from her ****** depraved disease.
I had an operation in mind to remove that part of her brain to put an end to her sickness and thought it was going to be a breeze.
Unfortunately, I ran into complications and she ended up dying on the operating table.
I was able to keep her body and organs alive but her brain was completely disabled,
which is good news for me and my dear mother here underneath this blanket.
Thanks to this young body and our advancement in medicine and science, my mother won’t have to be buried in a casket.
You see, I learned everything I know from my mother who is even more brilliant than I am.
What we have accomplished here today is a result of years of hard work and is no scam.
My mother was 103 years old and her body had failed her, but her mind was just as sharp as ever.
So, thanks to her encouragement, we decided to embark on this endeavor.
In order to live on, I have transplanted my mother’s brain, her entire consciousness into Sarah’s body.
It took me 28 hours to complete and a large amount of coffee,
but my mother’s brain and consciousness is now inside Sarah’s body.
Sarah is no longer Sarah, rather my mother in a far younger vessel.
As soon as she wakes up, which should be any minute now, you will see the success of this first ever kind of operation for yourself.”

I’m shocked, finding it difficult to breath, as I lower my camera and shake my head.
I’m not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this.

“You look a little overwhelmed Andrew, would you like a glass of water?”

I look up as a black man appears in front of me offering me a glass of water with an emotionless stare on his face.

“This is Antonio, Nathan’s butler, he will be serving us drinks this evening.”
I take the class and thank him for the water as he turns around without saying a word and walks away.

“Now that you have a glass of water and are beginning to process all of this,
I can inform you of the whereabouts of Chris.
That is why you were in his house, am I correct?
Do discover what happened to him?”

“Ye…Yes it would be nice to find out what happened to him.”

“Antonio, bring him out here!”

Antonio reappears pushing a chair with a man tied down to it and with a cloth stuffed in his mouth to prevent him from speaking.
He can’t speak but I can tell by the verbs running through his eyes that internally he’s shrieking.
I do recognize the man right away; this is Chris Morris.
The second surprise I have discovered here in this house.

“While the police were struggling to find out what happened to the two girls that disappeared after being with Chris,
Nathan and I were busy running surveillance on him and knew that he had the two girls locked up in his house and was using them as *** slaves.
We didn’t expect the second girl Erin to fall in love with him and enjoy being his slave,
but once that happened and we felt that Ambers life was in danger due to Erin becoming jealous of her being pregnant with Chris’s child, we made our move to take out Chris and save the girls.
We subdued Chris and brought him back here, while placing an anonymous call to the police informing them of the whereabouts of the girls.
Chris is now waiting to fulfill the purpose I have in store for him here.
My mother is only the first part of this operation.
Once she awakens, she will assume my role at this wonderful station.
My brain and consciousness will then be transferred into Chris’s body so I can attain a younger vessel as well.
Then, we will leave the country to find a new place to dwell,
while everyone here thinks we are dead because our brainless bodies will be discovered.
Everyone will wonder what happened to our brains and question why they were taken out of our bodies, but the truth will never be uncovered.
My mother and I will be allowed to live in peace and will have the freedom to quietly carry out our scientific and medical breakthroughs.
Your camera will of course be destroyed right before you leave and if you refuse,
well, bad people will do bad things to you so plan on playing along.”

I put the camera down and shake my head again.

“I hate to tell you Doctor Burke but I feel this isn’t going to…”

The body of Sarah suddenly sits up from the table as her eyes slowly open.
I pick the camera back up and get closer to her to capture this ****** up moment.

With her eye lids now open, Sarah’s’ eyes are revealed to be pure black.
A wicked, evil smile appears across her face, a smile so fiendish that it could cause a mirror to crack.

“Mother can you hear me?
Mother are you there?”

The girl Sarah speaks, “Your mother is burning in the fires of hell with the girl Sarah.
It’s where you will be going very shortly Doctor Burke.
It’s time for you to pay for all of your sins.
Your death now begins!”

With lightening quick speed, the girl jumps up from the table and grabs onto Doctor Burke’s throat forcing him to the ground.
Doctor Burkes tries to call out for help but can’t get out a sound.
The girl tightens her grip as the Doctors eyes roll back into his head.
In a matter of seconds, he is dead.

A loud bang rings out as I turn and see the chair Chris is tied to tipped over and a dark shadow figure ripping out his throat with its mouth.
He too will quickly be heading south.
Nathan turns to run but is jumped on by the girl who begins to bash his face into the ground.
The screams of him crying out in agony is a sickening sound.

Antonio runs to try to save his master but the girl is quick to drop him to the ground and begins to smash his head into the floor as well.
Rachel and I are next I’m sure, our deaths you can essentially smell.

I grab Rachel by the arm and drag her behind me towards the staircase.
If we end up getting killed by this girl, we are at least giving her a chase.
I close the basement door behind us as we run up the stairs towards the main level of the house.
I whisper to Rachel that I really wanted to make her my spouse.
She tells me we are getting out of here and afterwards, I can do just that
and that she would then like to adopt a cat.

We make a break for the front door then come to a dead stop as the sight of a man standing in front of it invades our vison.
I need to figure out what to do next and make it a quick decision.
Its two on one, maybe we can run through the man and out the front door.
I briefly check him out to see what kind of confrontation we have in store.

The man is dressed in a black suite and supports a pointed goatee.
He smiles at us motioning to us to come closer to him and urges us not to flee.
His tie is red and seemingly dripping of blood.
Fear begins pouring out of me in a flood.
A snake slithers around his shoulders and neck.
On second thought, maybe we will turn around and head towards the back deck.

“My dear Andrew and Rachel, there is no need to be afraid.
You made a decision that will shortly result in the end of your lives, but there’s that price you two need to pay.
I’ll make death real easy on you two since you had nothing to do with the terrible experiments taking place here.
You’re simply going to come with me and disappear.
No mangled bodies to be found later by the police.
I’ll make sure you enjoy the rest of eternity with me in peace.
Not everyone goes through extreme torment in my domain.
I won’t even have you experience any real pain.
By the look on your faces, I can tell you’re wondering where God is.
He unfortunately doesn’t want you two to be his.
You see, the two of you never really believed in him or accepted Jesus as your savior or ask for forgiveness for all of your sins.
Plus, you documented some pretty messed up and illegal things
on your camera there and posted it for the world to see for your own personal gain.
You thought with these “wicked cool” videos, a competitive advantage in life you would obtain.
However, your misdeeds have now caught up to you, and now it’s time to put an end to your failed lives.”

We turn to run the opposite way towards the back of the house as the floor beneath us opens up and fire shoots up all around us.
We begin to fall down an endless pit of fire as I let out a cuss.
Above us from the house, Amanda looks down into the hole at us as we fall into the fires of Hell.
The last thing I see is the sight of Amanda not doing so swell
as dark figures swarm over her, consuming her body.

I finally find myself,
at the lowest of lows.
No litterally...
In the basement,
Sitting in the bottom of the shower.
I keep thinking about colors,
fall colors, hair colors,
I keep asking myself,
why did I change myself.
I was perfect the way I was,
and now its going to take,
a long while to get back
to how I was.
My nose ring feels fake,
My newly died hair feels fake,
and my insides are starting to turn to plastic.
Take it all back!
Take back the die, the pierce,
But that is just one thing about
Lady Time.
She cant be taken back.
She can only move forward,
even if it means,
depression.

Deeply, I tremble.
Courage, I must try to assemble.

Limbs shake.
My stomach does so quake.
Calming breaths, I attempt to take.

I scold myself, thinking: Come on girl, get a ******* grip!
Feeling yet another crack of the whip…..
Hold it in! I beg to myself, biting my lip.
But from my eye one tear manages to slip.

Block out all of the light.
Holding on so tight.
I try to **** every instinct especially the one calling for me to fight.  

THWACK!
A gut-wrenching scream I cannot hold back…
The edges of my vison are now framed in black…

Not long now, I’ll be away from this
My last thought as I slowly sink into the abyss.

I'm drunk!!!!
I can hardly walk straight
I'm glad I don't need to talk
Because I hate slurring my words

they're too important
To be mumbled
And misunderstood

I'm drunk
And I love it
I hate it

Still I don't want to talk
But I cannot help but write
It is the spirit within me
That screams I need to be heard

And when I'm drunk
I understand
The spirit knows more than I do
It knows why I feel so much hope when the moon is new

And such loss
When the moon is full

I'm drunk
But I'm a conduit to other realms
And only by spreading this message around
Can you hear it

I'm drunk
(Hahaahaahahahaahahahaha)
But I still hope
What inspires me
Will inspire you

and they began t' sing
marching single file

from the west

no masqued men were these,
these were
Kachina whitemen only saw in curio stories,
now,
approaching the old
prosper-specter

sitting full-lotus in his Barco-lounger, curbside-score,
from the land of too much good stuff

still, it's America, best effort men have made,

up to now.
The whole world has known since the International Geophysical Year,
1957, when the Symbolized Face of the Hungarian Freedom Fighter,

graced
the cover of Time, as Man of the Year before, when they lost
their war
and nobody cared, because
every body knew Disneyland is the Happiest Place on Earth,
where wishes can come true, and

that place is in America as sure as

blue fairy, you'real wish, Urielistical wish-grant,
Asrael and the others
singing backup
reload
when you wish
side-really… and a subtle shift in per
spect capacity
let be, just so,

and haps sub tile into layers of complexity re

because we, the people born to mature in the environs of Dublin
writ large, we
seers endowed with tele-vison, from birth.
The elders who watched the roll-out.
Aye, we watched
us evolve
to now

our future bright they say, a bright white light, then what

now,
we can say. The seals have been broken.
Nothing hidden now stays that way in ever,

and ever, as you know it, began

sometime
agone afore in some direction beyond your
ken, as it were when kenning the way of a knack was
as common as dowsers in the desert of my childhood.

What's in any name but what the namer seems?
Hey, yah way, tha'swhat I say,
tell me
what I say
Hey
Dancing shuffle footed single file
pass the white shirt black tie messenger from
the telestial king down Sonora way,
via
Yahoo, feel that tickle fo' a nickle, Hiram say come see
come feel
a boinin' in d' boosum through

the very crystal lenses

portal-ible model
through which Joseph of the name
Smith,
-- link back to Cain, through Tubal, via Na'amah--
-- set a breadcrumb, landmark, tag- say good old way
-- sign out don't break the story

through which Joseph of the name
Smith, came sayin an angel of light came with another gospel,

maybe the same guy the Galatians were warned to ignor,
re-legate-- re-read- start at the top
or all meaning is
like a song sung by Kansas, when we aren't there,
any more, than those wee
merest kachina jingle bells listing in the winds

but the Kansas chorus is stuck asif dust is all a simple

higgs-ified mind can manage to
regulate

without reading any ancient landmarks on maps of meaning
tattoo'd to the face in your mirror

in the darkest memory you hold
dear,
dearest,
your precious, in your Gollum-purpose state you know so well
protect it for all its worth,
with only your
strength
to lift
being the measure of worth-ship.

Ex-tol the worth of no bher-don born while in my state,
poor
un-gifted.  I remain a mortal soul linked mitochondrially to thee,
for whom the bell
told. You heard, but you were tolled don't ask.

Listen, the same hunch that said, It don't mean nuthin',

when you say you know that,
you bet you do.

I slew this dragon, not you. I say what the map says.

The dragon died of natural causes, so now,
all its true-sures
is yers…
Crown o'glory moon shine

plumb pert-nigh perfect fiture
imagined happy place to a T, crossed
and I dotted

Bleibe Doch! This is where all the Faustian Losers left their marks.

This is not where I aimed t'be said the elder bro,

as the wastrel was welcome t'Dada arms,
the crucial critics rave
Sheiszkunst, who Rah!
isis throws
a party for the prodigal madrigal has returned
from the pig's sty

packing each redeemed pearl, his brother once
fed to swine.

bent low 'neath his pearl-loaded ****-pack, he lifts his head,
waves his
crown, Fini,

come see, he says.
where I live, nowadays.

This is that treasure, on another level
as you may imagine,
free, if

you accept charity.

{There's the rub, say professional older bro, I know, charity;
'taint fair,
s'foul some, some ne'er-do-well finds a
pearl in some pigsty,

I PUT THAT PEARL THERE FOR THE FUTURE
not now.
I worked
for them ****** pearls, I sweated, brow-sweat, lo and hi.
I hid them well,

only a fool would ever believe a treasure
could be found in such ****,

but some fairy pulled a fast one, 'put a bean in little bro's ear,
so when the pigshit hit it began to grow,
sent a tendril to tickle a special spot,
just above the left ear,
right
there,

let's see diamonds, no
pearls,

any where we wish.
Let's say okeh, mark this spot, let us move on,

this is life. Let us see that more abundantly, while the poor
are safe and sound,
free as me to pursue haps past the frozen

disnified happy-ever-after WW2,
in the wake of Camus and ****** Wolves

---
splashes as the speeders pass, powered-row-row-rowing,

merrily mere ly wrong, not evil. Live on, next
is as you wish it were
someday, but in its diapers,

still. A we thinker thought awaiting effectual function,
as this trigger is pulled, in your space in time,

and another bubble appears,
portalish as mine-craft if ever there were

a subtle shifter of perception conspiring
A.I. see
a conspiracy with Lex Fridman infected by
Lynning Skyward
though a wave of old Radioman vibes,
played with plastic spoons
a famous peace march by
Kenurchka Klumpen, Sera-serah-selah-sinnade in B-Natural

and the last to leave broke the right arm from the doll,
sealed the dirt box one measure by one measure
deep and wide,

That seal was broken, 1957, approxi apriori right
arm dis
allowing
the left to change this next to come, sym-bolische
ified in the one-armed bandits left behind,

the bet. The die cast. Foccinaucipilinihili or holy

happy hunting ground, imagined in the land of too much good stuff.

I latched on like breath
Assuming you would share
Using x-ray vison
You saw through my smile

The un-adulterated content
Blind sided you
As it had done to myself
Time and again

Beautiful intentions of yours
Please understand that I noticed
Your heart weeping my tears

A shock to your system
I should have foreseen
Having read the literacy of lows

The parasitic nature
Consumer of my relations

Digging all the way down
The filthiest of lovely
Covered in homemade mud
You pulled out box of silver
I confessed that is my love

The moon casts an ominous shadow overhead,
as if the sun's lightbulb had gone dead.
The hairs on my neck stand on end,
something dreadful is around the bend.
I don't know what i'll find there,
there isn't any thime to prepare.

All that lie here lie dead,
some stabbed, some shot in the head.
The engraved marble shines with threatening air,
something tells me i'm in for a scare.
A flash of steel announces the precense of his quarry,
this is where I begin to worry.

He starts to circle me menacingly,
that solomn steel blade is all I see.
The corners of his mouth turn up to see
the prominate fear inside me.
He crouches and bows his head,
it's all to clear he wants me dead.

The bite of his blade is all too real,
the wound he just made will not heal.
My heartbeat significantly slows down,
as I bleed I fall to the cold hard ground.
As my vison goes I begin to see,
this thespian was always after me.

I see couples holding hand in hand walking by me on the street
Hollowness fills my heart as it responds in it's beat.
Thinking of the void, inside of me, that would feel like when it was filled
I admire the vision of adoration in the couple's eyes
as they kiss and greet each other.
I remember the future and all of it's mystery
I hope that's me, like the couple in view , that is in my future that greets me.
Daydreams ease the pain as I pass by them.
Visions of me and the one that shall hold my heart.
How to start the path to my goal is the trick to study.
A beautiful me and that beautiful lady to share love and adoration
in my vison that seems a little dark and cruddy.
I remember how my spirit does shine and then I don't feel so empty.
For a big heart and a grand and deeply true spirit
shall draw love to me.
When the moment draws to be ripe....I shall get hit by Cupid's dart.
Then, all my love songs that I've sung to summon her, it will be then when the right partner
who shall here it.

someone called me dynamite today.
if you've never been called that, i'd like to tell you, then, that
you are dynamite.
so
explode.
fizzle.
light up.
be put out.
light up again.
trigger a spark in someone's eyes they didn't know was there
fog someone's vison if just for a moment. taint their perception and blur their minds
dazzle ignite crackle sparkle
be an ember red, hot, strong, passionate, warming, deep orange
use your flame how you want and
be
dynamite

You complient me in away
I didn;t think  exist
Cover me with kisses
of friendship and bliss
You shattered my wall
my pilar of ice
and make me feel confortable
whening I;m rolling them dice
I dream of you in darkness
and meadows of light
I vison you in circles
like vultures of the night
You make me plunge so deeply
Into my morbid mind
that there is nothing left
but words that are to kind
You cleverly force a smile
when a snear is all I've known
You make me resist the urge to run
when the voices tell me go......

The ruination of a twenty minute piece,
only two stanzas in verse but a  Michelangelo
of verse, but in full discontent it crashed
and my art became white washed into oblivion...

I swigged three vodkas at the nothingness that
stared back, there are some that are creations
never to be repeated, an amnesia of vison
but all I got was a 502 reload **** that...

Of my fellow man. My burden. My loyalty is an invitation to mold my precious life into disgusting waste. His vison of me is a brush stroke in his perverted masterpiece. His life's work is shambles of nothing remarkable. Under him, all I paint with is grey.

I Got Roses For Her,  I Got Roses  For Her, I Got Roses For Earth, Growth  Occurs, Just Be,
Love Is Within, Just  Wrapping Me,  No Depth Can Trap Its Wind, Just Breathe
Beautiful Beach, That Warm Breeze, Purple Sheets, Iced Tea
Love Is So Free, I Hold You , You Hold Me, ‘Togther  , We Hold We ,
Flowers On Trees, Magik Mushrooms IN Our Teeth,
Infinie , Galactic, Theres No Attachment, Naked ,Dressed Like Aladin,
In A Forest Full Of Magik , Dancing In The Creek, I Don’t Sleep In A Cabin,
No Chains, Love The Rain, No Violence, Violin Tears  Washes Silence,   , Pure No Sinin,
I’m In Bliss, No Titles OR Idols It Just Is, I Am 1, I Am Sun, I Am Darkenss,
Never Apart From MY Heart, Aligned With The Spark,
Wings Span Universal, Dna Code Gold Swirl,
I’m An Alien Ghost Peral, Well I Am That I AM,
My Imagiton Doesn’t End Nor Begin,
The Now Is So Precious, I AM Compltey Free & Open I’m Oceans, A Poet In Simationus Motion,
MAgikal With Hold IT, Relax With The Potion,
Moon Light Kisses Like Roses,
Your Freucny Is Reaching Me, We Both Know It,
Sacred Type, Make The Night, Elctric Light,
Trippy Existenice , Mystical Vison,
Indigo Star Seed, Silocybin Bar ****, Don’t Drink No Bar Scene,
Just Romance & Hold Hands,
Psychelic Acesion , Free From All Tesnion,
Illumanited With A Sphere, Here To Raise Questions,
Grave Yard Seconds, Immortal Stepping,
I Have Energy Inside Of ME , I Don’t Need No Weapons,
I’m Remedy Trancending Into Purity,
Tabs To Get A Lift,
ON Hearth To Heal For Real Raise The COnsoisness,
At My Highest Vibration , Government Hate It tHey ON To This,
**** It The Galactic Dimesnions SPonor This,
Honored With To Gift To Conqor Midst,
Strong As ****,
I Let MY Ego  Free To Fly  Now Im  Accomplishment

We live on the same street,

but you anit nothing like me,


This isn't a 12A,
    The kids in this will **** you for


disrespecting the other side of the street..


Eternal outlaws, as kids we knocked and run
                                    each others doors..

But i knock your door,
          you lucky if you survive,

              the third knock that is off the safety...
  

A hole fills your vacant look, holes at the front,

                    smudges that cant clean off your regrets..


I'll knock your memory into the past..

          mothers will cry.. but you'll never realise


that we aren't just one street.


But you look at me wrong, I'll knock some sense
                   into your frame..

Bruised moments..

You cross my gaze,
                   my street…
                               I'll make the black
vison of bow heads grace the road..

   But you'll not see,

             your the one closed eyed,
                                     while others weep...

Mist embraces the lake as light gently
opens the world to my gaze, I behold
the majestic wanting's of vison that
captures my thoughts and feeling.

My hands clasped upon my chin as
dragonflies dance around the waters
edge and all is serene. I view the
surrounding as my gaze widens.

Vapours eclipse into oblivion and
everything is now seen. I sit upon
my terrace and take everything in.

Onyx wings do flutter in shade
as twilight does gently fade,
she danced on setting moonlight
as it descended ending silent night.

Her wings did gently shimmer
but as it declined she got dimmer,
starlight danced upon her features
staring down at night gentle creatures.

All were playing in nights mischief
hide and seek in twilights hidden vison.
Giggles gave her away as wings did flutter
as night began to cease opening lights shutter.

Her wings changed from onyx to aglow
wishing her sister dreams both would know,
both were of one midnight and daylight
each bowed to the other, changing in eyesight.

Slowly dripping.
Slowly ticking.
Quickly fading.
Quickly changing.
Continuously falling.
Continuously falling.
The sweat that perspires from my forehead.
The clock that lies right above my death bed.
My vison that was once crystal clear.
My twisted demonic thoughts through out my years. Me as I slipped.
Me as I tripped.
Im contiously falling.....
Bright lights from above.
Im momentarily blinded.
An angel.. the angel love.
A messanger for me to be reminded.
All is never lost.
There is always a way.
No excuses no denial.
There is always oppurtunties to stop from drifting away.
Memories can not harm you.
They are just reminders that you have overcome.
All the pain you have suffered.
Once you can move on.....
You have won.

Isn't it a pity when you hate the city
So no **** good with snake pit lion's den you need someone to be your friend
Like Mickey Mouse & Daffy Duck chasing each other in a bush
The whole wide world is in quite a rush
Yet such a kingdom does exist
Can you catch my drift
In a far off place in search of trace in
A child hood fantasy in a dream whole new scene
With dragons and kings with queens
A court jester killing the village scene
We got trolls living in holes with dirt as their ceiling
Nothing shady in my electric kingdom
Lot's of folks tripping cause I'm on a mission
A vision of twilight sun tainting the vast array of its sparkling ellagance
Such extravagance at first glance a timely dance with a fare maiden
Looking lips shooting hits take some time to move those hips
A sought off excursion in my mind cause the dragon got me in a fix
I mix with tempers of fire blown up in full desire
An angry elf just bit me in the arm so sound the alarm
I came to get down & paint to village town
Electric kingdom where the creatures are so real
Some may claim it as a no good deal
Horses with valiant lances never given any second chances
Took a crap in the distant bushes with a push in
This is a place inside my mind some call me crazy but I am not blind
Rap is good in this place of dreams holding my own as my vison gleams.

Is it weird?
Pink vison
Eyes sparkle
Wicked smile
I don't just see it
I feel it
A pony of energy
Hot mess mane
Cotten candy stain
Little miss evil
Oh wait that's me
Alter ego
My Pinkie Pie
See something deeper
Down inside
We see you
always there
searching
waiting
lurking
To jump out
Not hide

© sd greene  10/7/17

I have no reason
just a feeling
In my being

The wipers are beating
fast as they can go
The rain is faster
blurring my vison
just like my division

Lightning flashes
illuminating my thoughts
on my failures and
reasons for driving in the rain

Water swirling down the gutters
Viciously hellbent on destiny
A juxtaposition compared to my life

A desert in a thunderstorm

I will speak a thousand words unspoken.
Leave a hundred paws unprint.
Have dozens of nights awoken.
Smell the lonesome wind.

I will see the invisible, and touch the nothing.
I shall be irresistible, with what you have to bring.

Yours I shall become, your neck will be my future.
My teeth do no harm and your words are a murmur.

Regarde moi, Tu me vois!
Tu me portes, ma vie, ma joie.
Pourquoi tu te fous de ma vie?
Dis-moi, comment je survis?

Tu choisis ce que je serai!
Je ne comprends pas ce que tu me vais!

Regarde-moi, Tu me vois!
Alors, n'ecoute pas!

C'est ma vie que vous avez prise
Personne n'entend mes cris

Qui méconnaît mes pleurs
Qui tue mes freres et soeurs?

Maar het doet je niets, je hoort me niet.
Je ziet het bloed niet dat je vergiet.
Je hoort en spreekt en ziet en luistert.
Alle leugens die je voor me verduisterd.

Je doet me pijn, weet je dat.
Al is het iets dat je snel vergat.

Al zie je niets als je me draagt.
Al weet je niets als men je vraagt.

Daremonai ga watashi no gengo wo hanashimasen.
Demo kono ate watashi no atama ha ten ni ikimasen.

Watashi no karada ha anata no issho ni aru darou.
Shin ha kowai deshou.

Watashi ha anata no fuku koto ni naranai.
Dakara sore koto ni kawatte shimasu kudasai.
Shin ha totemo kowai!

Spreche die sprache der toten.
Wer hat mich leben angeboten.
Von mirh zu stelen?
Ist Daß nicht elend?

Trage mich und mein blut.
Trage mich und siehst mich gut.
Dein Schwein pfeift nicht.
Mein Worte sind wirklicht.

Neden beni seviyorsun?
Beni öldürüyorsun.
Bana bir sans ver.
Beni öldürüyorsan.
Beni nasil sevebilirsin?

For I will speak a thousand words unspoken
Dis-moi, que tu me vois?
Of lieg je tegen jezelf?
Beni verdim sans...
Aber du siehst mich nicht!

Speak my language of the death.
Tu ne m'aimes pas que tu me mort.
Regardez-moi, qui tu t'en fous.
Je suis la vison autour ta cou.

_____
Grammar checked "Mink in the neck"
(Still a W.I.P.)

You’re not, влюблен
But you adore when it tugs on your hair
when he’s behind
and eyes can’t meet because for long now you have been
strangers  and you’ve tied your gaze away from it
-the vison

Eyes that are open but collect no vison,
                     seeing only a narrow view.
With ears that hear all,
           but only listen to false verses,
that whisper nothing but whispers.
We all walk paths,
                     but some are but the same.
A repetition of where we walked before
                       as we follow ignorant steps.
A mind is free when not tethered by the
insecurities of others neglect to walk another path..

Returned To Me Again Again
Sweet Beloved
Your Open Box of Mysteries
Gods Arm Reach
Awakening Smile of the Universe
Cat Tails Upon
The Waters Edge

An Indian Basket Floating By
Remnants
Of Another Myth

Mine the Smile
Rising Up
Over the Hill Side
With Each Step
Our Language Harmony
Touch of A Voice Known
Before It has Even Spoke

Bitterness , Why?
A Child of Our Youth
Caste out
Who are You To say
Who Sits By the Ganges River
And Ponders Death?
Who?

Angers Unleashed Vengeance
Nothing More

Looking Up
Sure  Steps Already Taken
I Love You
And Ever Shall
No Mystery Stands Afraid
A Black Robe Given
With
A Black  Stohl Time
Vision Seen
India, White shirt with Mother Theresa Blue Stripes
Your Hands in Prayer
Man.. We've met Before
Three years ago Vison
You Were Last Years Mate
All True, All of It
Seen, and for Jealousy, Destroyed

Now is Present Time
Past Again

The Sky
Cut Open
Each Wave
A Rainbow Invisible
Pure Night

To This I Now Return
At  Last
Good Bye
Holy Stranger?

I will speak a thousand words unspoken
Leave a hundred paws unprint
Have dozens of nights awoken
Smell the singular wind

I will see the invisible, and touch the nothing
I shall be irresistable, with what you have to bring

Yours I shall become, your neck is my future
My teeth do no harm, your words are a murmur

Regardez-moi, Tu me vois!
C'est moi tu portes, ma vie, ma joy.
Pourquoi ma vie tu t'en fous pas?
Pourquoi tu choisis quoi je sera?

Regardez-moi, Tu me vois!
Alors, n'ecoute pas

C'est ma vie vous avez pris
Pas des personnes s'entendent mes cris

Qui méconnaît mes pleurs
Qui tue mes freres et soeurs?

Regardez-moi, si tu t'en fous
Je suis la vison autour ta cou.

Maar het doet je niets, je hoort me niet
Je ziet het bloed niet dat je vergiet
Je hoort en spreekt en ziet en luistert
Alle leugens die je voor me verduisterd

Je doet me pijn, weet je dat
Al is het iets dat je snel vergat

Al zie je niets als je me draagt
Al weet je niets als men je vraagt

daremonai ga watashi no gengo wo hanashimasen
demo kono ate watashi no atama ha ten ni iko

to watashi no karada ha anata no issho ni aru darou.
shin ha kowai deshou.

Watashi ha anata no fuku koto ni naranai.
Dakara sore koto ni kawatte shimasu kudasai

Shin ha totemo kowai desu.

Spreche die sprache der toten
Wer hat mich leben angeboten
Von mirh zu stelen?
Ist Daß nicht elend?

neden beni seviyorsun musun?
beni öldürüyorsun
Şans sen veriyorum
sevgi giyebilirsin musun?
beni öldürmüyorsan

For I will speak a thousand words unspoken
Look at me. you see me!
Even though you lie to me
I refuse to be yours!

Speak the language of the dead
You can't wear love to **** it.