it’s lips poured spirits and wine - fresh squeezed- into my hands, into my system. And it walks behind me sober. Watching my slurring stumbles whilst an old sense of strength from inside me poured from my mouth, spilling on concrete.
my legs fail me and I fall a trance. Into it’s arms. But only for a sweet second - and now I’m smothered lying in stone cold slate, it’s so nippy, the cold. and it’s shadow blocks the streetlight floating above me. Wait; streetlight is glaring dim orange again now that it has dispersed away, down the pathway. With open arms, it’s searching for a sober.
an old one, August 2018 Who ism “it”?, you decide.
drum drum drum she pounds on my sleeve, upon my neck ; in my dreams. but we adopt resistance to feelings that hurt us. now I walk through this art gallery blind I can’t see but I think those paintings are of us
it’s the strung of the first few seconds. open a portal to when these words swarmed like flies in delusion, whithering onto your name spelt on my phone. Whisking dreams in my head. I should have turned off the light, dimmed the hope; so that they would fly away. I hold the song in my palm as if an artifact. funny as I go to write artifact my keyboard suggests artificial as if it knows
because that’s what it was and that’s it raw. and as for me it was me who tied ribbons around the lyrics to be a certification of us that never was. it was the only part of you I could ever have when I was alone because who was I to treat you like a friend when everyone was your friend.
I’ve untied ribbons and stepped back, so far back that I have reached a time before I had known you or before I had claimed you in my mirage. apart from tonight I gues
1:57am can’t help what’s there it’s stuck in my throat see I thought I would let some tears roll but reality didn’t let me
love loses and slowly, sparsely it’s fading away from me how it feels to be shot? to be burrowed into the night’s portal of regret and despair and urge to escape. and to write even, and to see life pass by with a name intertwining each of its pieces.
in whole all I can say is maybe it isn’t so extreme but when the heart aches it is drowned down below you and drips out salt from your eyes until the cries can’t go unnoticed ; it’s challenging to sleep.
on the other hand for now my sleep is whole and I dream often