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FiguringItOut Sep 2023
Waves from the beach match my waves for my drink
The waitress comes over and asks what’s my order
I said I can’t choose “I’m feeling like there’s clouds above me,
It’s been a rough few days and these double hotel rooms are bland and lonely.”
“Not a problem, sir.  I know just what to get to make you feel *****.
She comes back with a Hawaiian margarita.
It came with an umbrella which I set aside while saying thank you, Senorita.
I guzzled down the drink to reach the tequila faster,
But the wind picks up and it looks like a disaster.
I ask for one more, with the umbrella.
This fairy godmother returns with another margarita.
The buzz has transformed me like I’m Cinderella.
I leave a 20 at the table and walk towards the beach, ignoring the families with kids who all they do is screech.
Clutching both umbrellas, I walk to the shore
One of God’s many gifts for us to explore.
I never noticed how nice he made the decore.
Tequila is the only alcohol that’s an upper, or so I’ve been told.
But I enter the water even though it was cold
What happened next though was a story previously told,
My umbrellas caught air like Mary Poppins,
As I floated along the coast listening to Phil Collins.
The speakers down below blast the drum section from that one song,
And I stayed up there for I don’t know how long,
But when I descended,
My pain was suspended and my emotions were splendid.
So next time, when your mind feels cloudy and your thoughts are rowdy
Ask for a drink with an umbrella
You’ll soon find yourself smiling, cheesing more than mozzarella.
FiguringItOut Sep 2023 a turtle
And turtles, much like people, must eat.
Though I live a long time, I am not immortal.
I move through life slowly, but the hare I did beat.

My body doesn’t require much.
My metabolism is not quick.
But relying on leaves just feels like a crutch.
I see these fat children, so happy and thick.
Whatever they must be consuming keeps their bodies blooming.

I watch as they come and go, from the building with the big yellow M,
And think to myself, how might I get in.
I’m not quick enough for this dangerous breed.

Many of my cousins have gone extinct because of their greed.
And just like that, a gift from Master Oogway himself,
I’ve found my own hidden elf on the shelf.

A crispy golden nugget accidentally dropped on the ground,
Beckoning me to go towards this crowded compound.

I avoid each car, making sure to keep hidden.
But the crispy treat continues to move as if I was forbidden.

But like Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden,
I continued to follow, keeping hope in my heart that I may bite it and swallow.

But to my dismay, it continues to roll,
The establishment was built on an incline of gravel.

I chase it as best as a turtle can,
But a fat little **** cuts me off in his van.
After he passes, the golden nugget still rolls.
Until it falls into a drain, forever lost in a hole.

If you were to ask me what would be my personal doomsday
I would tell you this story,
About the nugget that got away
FiguringItOut Sep 2021
I’ve been through this before.
First with that last *****,
Now it’s just become my personal lore.

How many times do you need to dump me just to understand,
That the reason you keep coming back is because of the grassland.
It seems greener over there,
But mine has flowers that you can’t find elsewhere.

You say that when you dump me, that it’s just a reaction.
I’m supposed to stay and show my compassion.
I admit that I hurt you from the start,
But the back and forth has me bleeding from my heart.
If life’s a play then I guess the ******* is my part.

You want to be at peace,
While also saying I’m your missing piece.
Maybe all it takes is some elbow grease.

We lost the box to the puzzle,
And sometimes it feels like I have to wear a muzzle.
I say dumb **** while at the same time being articulate.

I’m a conundrum.
****** in the head because of where I’ve come from.
I love you and you say you love me too.
When in this lifetime will I believe that it’s true?

I don’t want this to end,
You’re my best friend.
We always make amends, but that’s the issue.
Amending too many times means there were too many crimes.
I’m a perpetrator in need of a tissue.

Tears on my keyboard,
Type out thoughts that can’t be ignored.
I want to start over so your vision of me can be restored.
But I tried too hard and there’s smoke coming from the motherboard.

I need a technician.
Or perhaps a magician.
To pull a thousandth chance with you out of a hat,
So I can prove to you you’re not a doormat.
Every time we chit-chat I fall flat.
And in every relationship, this is where I end up at.
Why’s it always like that?

Making mistakes, being inconsistent.
No wonder you’ve grown to be so distant.
But I think it’s mutual that we acknowledge our love’s existence.
I need assistance to stop my persistence.

You want me out of your life at 10 am,
But also want to get pancakes at 9 pm.
You’re right that I’m not responsible.
But I feel that problem is resolvable.
I think you’re phenomenal.
The drive you have is exceptional,
When you put your mind to it you’re unstoppable.

I guess what I’m trying to say is,
I’m sorry that the nightmares of what I’ve done keep you nocturnal,
But ending this relationship is only optional.
It’s up to you to decide if it’s optimal.
FiguringItOut Jul 2021
I thought expressing how I’m feeling would be freeing.
I told them they were a fraud.
All-knowing, but clueless about ‘being’.
A narcissistic deity with no right to call itself God.

An entity so powerful it can create a universe in six days,
But it created a boy who every time he starts something, cannot commit.
A boy so riddled with self-loathing that every day was a haze.

I  told it,
“I’m afraid.”
That night I laid in bed thinking of more ways to describe the blades I felt piercing my heart.  The jaded and absent almighty father who may as well have abandoned me and left me with the maid.

This is why I stopped being religious in the seventh grade.

And this was a desperate plea.
I can’t get to sleep.
The weight of the world is the weight of my sheets.
Try to get up, but everything’s spinning.
I asked God,
“Is this just the beginning?”


That’s all that it said.
Ghosted by God like it had a hot girl at a bar’s passive nonchalance.
And it fills me with dread.  Like I was just diagnosed with lung cancer.

But I told God, “What I’m most afraid of is losing hwr.”
I meant to say her,
a textual slur,
but at least that plea will live on,
Despite no answer.
Edgy poem about a girl I wrote a few years ago.
FiguringItOut Jul 2021
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped, turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the most non-human trafficked animal for my keratin hair.

In the west Philippines, born and raised
In the burrows of hollow trees is where I spent most of my days,
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all young
Eatin' some bugs with my elongated tongue.

When a couple of guys who were up to no good
Started poachin' everythin' in my neighborhood.
My homie got hunted, but my mom made it through
She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in the zoo.'

I whistled for a conservationist and when they came near
Their license plate said “IUCN” and they had brothers in the rear.
If anything I could say they should drive me too,
So I hopped in the back - 'Yo, homes to the zoo.'

                       up to a building about seven or eight
And I yelled to my savior 'Yo homes, smell ya late'
I looked at my kingdom,
Where the poachers couldn’t get to,
As I sat in my enclosure as the Pangolin of the zoo.
Fresh Prince theme but It's a pangolin.  Pretty self-explanatory, I think.
FiguringItOut Jul 2021
She said we were forever.
I should have been more clever
Wishing she was with my friend
I should have seen the end
Anger fills me, turns into rage
But what I found upon the next page,
Was one who truly cares
We’ve become a great pair
I made the wrong choice at first
Followed a *****, had a misplaced thirst
But what it led to
Was you.
FiguringItOut Jul 2021
Sunshiny autumn

Then a singular tree waves

Leaves reach for the ground
Just a Haiku that's short and sweet, maybe even neat?
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