~

Keep It Simple Stupid ("Your Poems Are Too **** Long")

~ for Natty~

white sheet of foolscap,
imploring the fool's fingers,
natty. natty, just this once,
be the simpleton dunce,
spend but a modest pence,
cap the blowout verbiage well

pretend
being a short and sweet poet beat^,
leaving those blue line requests
more white than black,
emptier and thus,
more silently, fuller, and powerful,

build  each line from a few hard crafted,
forged-wrought-iron syllables,
say the more in the
unsaid unwritten

snap your fingers in clapping praise,^
kiss the words bye-bye slow and single,
hold back the overfilling raucous reprises,
those stanza'd motley muddled crew,
de-access all excesses,
a manly, word squad^^^,
no more,
the shaft to success
be a David slingshot of single pebbles

but herein have,
prior blessed and true confessed:

"for I know there is soul in brevity,
but that ain't exactly my finest quality"

this is a "not know how to,"
for when I plunder the sea deep of a
single and singular
first and foremost# kiss,
still forever kept,
and that cylindrical memory volume so full,
one must seek and speak,
many verbal Ceylonese herbal tea toasts,
for the drunken 'n blinder I become,
the greater the need,
the lesser to please,
commissioning the poet to sing of his
long odyssey home,
of even the briefest venture ventured,
a combo of triumph and escaped,
wrapped in a single word,
his every feathery eye retention plucked,
a bald bird to be fully consumed,
even the bones, committed to
paper memory...

what the heck,
you want a speck,
a "say hey kid"^^ haiku,
a shorty hearty 60 second sophomoric Campbell soupy blessing,
microwaveable, heated but not hot,
radiated but not cooked

woe is me,
cannot be denied,
why use a pithy when
for pity's sake,
thrice won't suffice?

the woman, the observer
punches me with a solitary and indelicate,
as her wont, as her want,
"just-this-once"
telling the blowhard to not spout

this prideful pain,
deep water drilled in the muscled fortress of my rocky biceps,
eliciting  an outsized
"ouch, that really hurt,"
and my spouting retort...

~

by this bruised blotch, this redsome refrain,
dulcet sung in black and blue, a sonnet's colored quatrain,
by your flesh's mark, thee I join, in places where no mark dare
reflect our secreted touch, witness-protected by our guardian eyes only...*

**** it.

~

pass him the newborn,
not the first, indeed, the third of five,
almost a regular comet occurrence,
happy poppy,
grizzled veteran of the nine lives foreign wars - then

The Inexplicable  

Yellowstone geyser eruption,
Vesuvius of wet tear ash Pompeiing,
overfilling the overcrowded hospital room,
brilliant flashes of eyes emitting lightening,
tornadoes of an unpredicted hurricane,
that no weather service forecast,
hinted of imminence,
unprepared, thus, for which
they had no name but Baby Girl,
but the older man turned sudden singer had one,

The Inexplicable  

for as sudden as thunder,
the hospital room is an audience,
the old man, a bawling crooner
stunning the assembly into
nervous tittering laughter,
backslapping self-comforting,
so out of character
for the usual so quiet workaholic,
the secret poet whose shoulders
upside U-bent from decades of writing and
recording the momentous, the

endless worrying,
the foolish fleeting scarcity of joys,
the slowing ways of sad aging to wisdom gained,
foreseeing the struggle/joy inequivalent insolvent equation
of love and loss,
the forever pleasure of hopeful rebalancing,
a perpetual motion machine,
the seesaw of torrential ups and downs,
of the yet-to-come
for which he could compose, recite, in formal rhyme,
stanza and line,
chapter and verse,
blessings and unheard of
original poems and curses
and this peculiar blessing

this old man lad could so easy close his eyess,
recalling being
seven years, ageless and sageless,
sure in the ways of a cocky confident boy,
who is now succumbed to

The Inexplicable  

singing - humming - gasping - weeping - wishing true
the oldest rocking, children song in the entire world

"row row your boat,  
gently down the stream,"

but choking on,
unable to release the songs signature line,
from within his body,

then finally,

the truth and the lie,

"life is but a dream"

so the watchers do it for him;
unintended but fully comprehended!
the crazy man formally anoints the child's forehead,
with handy tears on a pointer forefinger,
a salt solution upon a slice of flesh containing
secrets and wisdoms
knowledges of historical continuations

nervously, they ease the babe, prying her
from hands tremblingly, his and theirs,
too late too late!

the secrets and the history personal
has been passed, the bonding genetic certified
the oldest fool in the room,
wise in the ways of the now transferred

The Inexplicable  

*dispatched home,
go, write a poem, they say,
to late too late!
it has been writ,
in a coded inexplicable manner,
that only two humans
can proper read

We stood in a room
With pale, rose colored walls
The veneer flaking like dead skin
The light flickering
It was the heart
The core inside of this machine
Pulsing, throbbing, *******
I stood before the most beautiful woman
She used to be much more to me
But she was an object in this room
Subjective to my emotion; to my imagination
A pawn to be pushed and shoved
She wore a decrepit ballerina’s garb
And the dainty shoes of the dancer were worn and discolored
She looked like a zombie of herself
Her face was whitened with experience: trauma
I did not love her anymore
I could not love her again
Her hair was all that remained the same as when I knew her
Long and calm; her hair seemed to be carried by the winds when she moved
I had always said I wanted to see her dance
Against all odds and broken plans to be together
We met finally
In this run down studio apartment she worked herself to the bone to keep
She had a friend install a mirror across an entire wall of the place
So she could watch herself for mistakes
She should’ve had a mirror up her whole life
As to check for flaws
There was no music to play
So she asked me to sing, so she could dance for me
I joked to her once that when I finally saw her dance it would be on Broadway
Well this is as close to Broadway as either of us will ever get
As she moved and swayed and spun
I thought about when we first met
She was a girl still, I was a boy then
But love cuts like a razor’s edge
Lopping off all the best parts
Until there’s only steel left in our hearts
I couldn’t help but fantasize as she leapt and poised like tendrils of smoke
I sung an old song, one I learned when my heart broke
She recognized it
But didn’t say a thing
There was consequence for every action
And a price to pay for every prayer
I prayed she’d ask me to stay the night when she was through
I begged some unnatural force to give her to me
To let me have her in every way
All to myself
I stopped singing and a choke of feelings swelled up in my neck and belly
I wish she’d come up to me and cut them loose
With her sharp, sensual lips
Even though her clothes were sweaty
I admired the work she put in for her dream
Even though I’d been more successful with less
I suppose I’m just prettier than she
No matter how silly that seems
She smiled and hugged me
She felt soft against my tired body; a form chipped away at by the day to day
She was warm and I was cold
I missed her all these years
I needed her all this time
The clot stuffed in my throat popped
And we finally talked
I told her how the rain was in Washington
And she told me about the morning sea fog that slinked around San Francisco
I mentioned I still hadn’t fallen in love
She blushed and said she’d had no luck
I asked her if she wanted to ****
No
No
No
Don’t be silly she laughed
Flicking my ear, as a tease to the fox
She turned away from me and did a pirouette to the cabinet
Pulling out two glasses and a bottle of cheap wine
Her gesture said stay
I couldn’t go if I wanted to anyways
So we indulged in the nostalgia from when we were kids
When I was a poet
And she was misunderstood
When she hurt my feelings
And I was no good
She laughed until tears streamed down her face
Breaking down she asked me
If I meant it when I said I’d love her forever
And I asked her to marry me
She smiled and kissed me
Then she pulled away fast
Time for bed
You can sleep on the floor- it’s more comfortable than the couch
I heard her say
I never thought it would end this way
To be truthful though
I don’t think that this is the end
The end hurts
But this felt nice, a sordid, moldy, stagnant pleasure
Light as a feather on my chest
Sharp as a sword jutting from your breast
This was love
I was convinced
It was either love
Or the urge to feed
To plunge myself into her
And let the sorrow breed
To learn the difference between want and need
In the morning she woke me up with coffee
Coffee and ****
We drank
We smoked
She seemed distant
So I took my prodding words and poked
Looking for a ****** expression that signified she was provoked
I wanted to see some life in those grey eyes of hers
Eyes once blue
Long ago, before the seven winds kissed the matching seas
And all the hurricanes settled into a breeze
I told her that she was a tease
Wearing nothing but a t-shirt that came down to her knees
I asked her if I could touch her please
I wanted her so bad
It was that sensation you feel when something is just an inch out of reach
Or when you’re pulling off of your skin a fat leech
She scrunched her nose playfully
But when she made that face I knew it meant to stop asking
I was the asker though
A man with a thousand questions
Doomed to never know
Anxious and eager and yearning
It had been years since I had seen her
Years since I felt the blood in my veins turn hot
My heart was beating like the drums that lead William Wallace to victory
I was hungry
I was toiling in the reawakened parts of myself
Seeing her was like reaching nirvana
But I was never one for meditating
Too impatient
Too many things titillating
She felt like a stranger that I knew so well
Every word she spoke was a mile from hell
But I liked her hot
And I liked her cold
I said I wanted to spend the night again
But this time in her bed
She rolled her eyes and poured me more coffee
Her cheeks turned pink
What was right in her mind told me no
But the look in her eyes said “take me”
I would
I would
I would darling, baby
Biting my bottom lip for a few seconds of hesitation
I brought my face to hers and kissed her softly
She leaned into it hard and I put my hands on her hips
I fell backward on the couch we lounged on
Pulling her onto me
The tremble in my hands
Said I had no idea what I was doing
But the look in my eye
The sparkle of being with her finally
Felt like water overfilling a well
I felt like I belonged finally
I belonged with her; my home was where she was
Even this decaying San Franciscan studio apartment felt like heaven
I never thought I would ever be allowed to feel this way
Like there was a place with no boundaries
When we finished the world outside of us two in those moments
Was a quagmire
My lust, desire
It died at long last
Closure finally crept into my life
I was positive we weren’t in love
But I asked again for her to be my wife
I said I didn’t have a ring but I’d buy her one
****, I’d buy her anything
I told her she didn’t have to come live with me
I’d sell my things and come be with her
She just smiled
I knew she thought that idea was nice
But she digressed that what I felt was a temporary thing
And I’d change my mind
Once I left this place
I did change my mind
When I left and had to put my life into perspective
I decided to never come back
Though my mind changed
My heart didn’t move on
It belonged to her and she was long gone
It made me wonder if there really is a place
For lonely people like me
Or maybe everything is just fleeting and temporary
Life and love
****, they’re scary.

summer streaked skies with
glints of orange and soaring kites,
and called your warm hands mine
in its breezy voice like a wind chime,
accompanied by the chorus of crickets
while we sat glowing upon your front porch.

and there you pocketed my heart like the collected leaves
rested comfortably in an upstairs journal, like
the handful of blooming whites overfilling a vase,
like the jar of fireflies we caught to see if their light
could imitate the ones we shined at night.

I want to die
But I can not right now
It’s scary and forever
But it is sounding so nice
Right now

It’s overwhelming and
I feel frustration
On a daily rotation
I cry and complain

You're always there for me
I feel like I am emotionally
Draining to you my dear
I want to not feel this way
But everything feels not ok

Please take away this feeling
Because I feel way too much
It is like I am always overfilling
Emotions always cloud my day
I get stressed and I can not focus
On really anything or anyone that matters

I feel selfish and annoying and rude
I can not help it and I am sorry
I feel useless and I want out
I want to not exist but also have a happy
oh so happy life.
Please fix me, please save me,
I’m so scared without you.

I breathe slow
My mind moves fast
My feet guiding my body
Pacing up and down
Back and forth
Like a metronome
My thoughts click
Faster
and
Faster
Until I hold my breath
And my head clears
Now absent of everything
An empty space
That was once overfilling
Like a clock
I reset
And start again

i got that feeling in my stomach again,
the one where you know,
you're getting ready to do something,
it really goes to show,
what your soul whispers in your ear,
makes you shiver to the bone,
it could either fix you or even destroy,
but no one can know,
so i keep myself to myself,
hide it all in a corner,
myself is only to myself,
but myself, i do not know her
she has dark secrets overfilling
it's almost at the brim
she gets ready in case she blurts it out
but finally keeps it all within