Too thoughtful,
too open,
regrets put in motion.

Too awful,
too hurting,
two truths now unearthing.

One secret,
albeit,
one drug to unleash it.

One passion,
one action,
one heart with two factions.

Somewhere deep inside me,
is happiness.
Security.
  Comfort.
Somewhere inside me,
but none are triumphant.
Stress likes me though,
a lot,
I'm afraid.
Oh just to think of the things I would trade.
To be gone of my mistress,
my headaches,
tight neck.
That ***** I call strain
I would pay to forget.

A thousand gold pieces,
a million copper.
To cope with this ****-up
and cull my taut suffer.
To rest wrought resilience
and shame the old trophy.
A new era,
new chapter.
A new world where I see:
Security.
Comfort.
  and Happiness triumphant.

From love I love a thousand things
but only two or three,
make my heart skip a beat,
melt and drain to feet.
The things in love we overrate
confuse and startle me.
Making out is great and all
but truly you believe?
That touching lips is better than,
holding hands and cheeky grins.
I believe love's greatest things
are silent, private, natural, free.
You know they know you missed a beat
and they know you know they did too.
In that brief and perfect moment,
brain shuts down; instincts cue.

Losing track,
left foot next,
right foot
left foot
stop, and - back.
Brain loads up,
lungs take air,
right foot
left foot
stop - relax.

In those brief and perfect moments,
when your heart drains to your foot,
you know love's worth the tricky
bits before and after put.
The moment after brain reboots
and lungs take air and feet compute.
Just before your head is clear,
you're sober and your thoughts adhere.
You're dizzy, almost, not severe,
in a word, your world - ideal.

For me, maybe, love is near?

Work, eat, work, sleep.
Work, sigh - new week.

Bank holiday, work then tidy.
Sleep, eat, work now Friday.
Thank Crunchie, eat then tidy.
Iron, sleep, new week, Monday.
Met deadline, pat on back.
Tighter deadline, fancy that.
Have a breakfast, just be late,
work, sleep, work, a date!
Inspiration, "changed my life".
Work, think, change my life.

Starting Monday, new routine.
Work, play! Eat, sleep.
Missed deadline, angry voices.
Work, more work? Awful choices.
Work some more, please the boss.
Work, more work, another week lost.

New tie Tuesday, no one noticed.
Stop and think why I wrote this.
Just like thinking? Maybe not.
Dislike the answer? Bingo! Stop.
Thought too much, behind on deadline.
Work some more, eat then bedtime.

I wake up, half past two,
late again, but dreamt of you.
Of all the things I wouldn't do?
Dream of you, a tortured tale.

Save past weeks you're new to me,
a shiny thing in endless sea,
but once too many have I believed,
then broken, lost, bereaved.

In my head you died, you see.
You couldn't have, he cheated she!
But yes, I know, it is, believe.
I didn't try, defaulted fail.

Soon won't pass
but in my head,
a thousand words
were never said,
an empty tale,
a soreful fail,
a broken, heartless, coward.