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"jeopardize" poems
Honesty: The quality of being honest Look at me directly in the eyes Before you lie When you agonize And dramatize I will analyze And I will realize And Recognize I will not empathize I will brutalize So I would not jeopardize Integrity: The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles With dignity Empathy Without enemies Ethically No jealousy Purity Seeing objectively Respectively Never causing unpleasantries The two go hand and hand Not Separately !!
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Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 8:58 PM UTC
Honesty and Integrity
(A Stir of Fear) A deep sigh seemed to have done some good. Looking at her, anticipating, expecting... Waiting for friends to arrive In a place unknown to us both.... So lovely in her silence, While going through a moment of anxiety. It creates within me, a STIR OF FEAR... Must I leave her? I must teach her, to be on her own, Now...now? But how? Oh, how it breaks me... There she stands, tall, in her black shirt, Walking shorts, rubber shoes, backpack and Electric guitar hanging on her shoulders... Her hair, gathered in a bun at the back.... So naive, simply, effortlessly beautiful. How do you let go of your eldest, First granddaughter...soon to be sixteen, When you are fully aware of the perils That surround the outside world, Even in broad daylight? Aware of her innocence, her beauty, and Most importantly, The elements that could jeopardize her safety ..... Do I wait for her? Do I watch her while with her friends? Let her know, I mistrust everyone around her? Almost told her I would wait for her outside... It wasn't mine, it was against everyone's, But it was her choice that I had to respect. So, I left her there in her friend's house... Dark street, dark alley, dark-colored gate, Dark house, dark garden lights, everything Was dark to my eyesight that very moment... There was no peaceful moment, while at home. The rocking chair at the veranda was a refuge... My ever-faithful friend, kept me company... There, I rocked myself, slowly, endlessly, With the hope of my fears disappearing... Thinking of what somebody once told me: "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself..." It had been a long day, a long night as well... My bed time...but first, I gratified myself.... Took a glimpse inside the kids' room, Where my eldest granddaughter, Too tired to go straight to Their house next door, Was sound asleep, Comfortable and warm Safe from harm, Here in my house. And yet.... There are questions still running in my mind: She has her parents, why do I worry so much? How much longer can I protect her? How much longer must I shelter her? How do I deal with my next equally lovely Granddaughter, also long-haired, tall, Also with her own guitar and backpack, When it is her time to go to a friend's house? Will I still be around when it is time for the Three younger girls to visit their friends, too? Oh, God!   The ordeal of first times never ends. (For Ashleigh) Sally Copyright 2014 Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
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Jan 15, 2014
Jan 15, 2014 at 2:44 AM UTC
Inner Battles...
(A Stir of Fear) A deep sigh seemed to have done some good. Looking at her, anticipating, expecting... Waiting for friends to arrive In a place unknown to us both.... So lovely in her silence, While going through a moment of anxiety. It creates within me, a STIR OF FEAR... Must I leave her? I must teach her, to be on her own, Now...now? But how? Oh, how it breaks me... There she stands, tall, in her black shirt, Walking shorts, rubber shoes, backpack and Electric guitar hanging on her shoulders... Her hair, gathered in a bun at the back.... So naive, simply, effortlessly beautiful. How do you let go of your eldest, First granddaughter...soon to be sixteen, When you are fully aware of the perils That surround the outside world, Even in broad daylight? Aware of her innocence, her beauty, and Most importantly, The elements that could jeopardize her safety ..... Do I wait for her? Do I watch her while with her friends? Let her know, I mistrust everyone around her? Almost told her I would wait for her outside... It wasn't mine, it was against everyone's, But it was her choice that I had to respect. So, I left her there in her friend's house... Dark street, dark alley, dark-colored gate, Dark house, dark garden lights, everything Was dark to my eyesight that very moment... There was no peaceful moment, while at home. The rocking chair at the veranda was a refuge... My ever-faithful friend, kept me company... There, I rocked myself, slowly, endlessly, With the hope of my fears disappearing... Thinking of what somebody once told me: "There is nothing to fear, but fear itself..." It had been a long day, a long night as well... My bed time...but first, I gratified myself.... Took a glimpse inside the kids' room, Where my eldest granddaughter, Too tired to go straight to Their house next door, Was sound asleep, Comfortable and warm Safe from harm, Here in my house. And yet.... There are questions still running in my mind: She has her parents, why do I worry so much? How much longer can I protect her? How much longer must I shelter her? How do I deal with my next equally lovely Granddaughter, also long-haired, tall, Also with her own guitar and backpack, When it is her time to go to a friend's house? Will I still be around when it is time for the Three younger girls to visit their friends, too? Oh, God!   The ordeal of first times never ends. (For Ashleigh) Sally Copyright 2014 Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
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67
Everything feels like nothing, and nothing starts to feel like everything. Everyday. Everyday as I wake up, Nothing ever beats the feeling of inadequacy. Inadequacy to do good Inadequacy as a daughter Inadequacy as a student Inadequacy as a person Inadequacy in feeling good within my own body Inadequacy from feeling good about myself. Everyday feels like an endless loop, you best believe my misery hunts me. But what is inadequacy? Is it scarcity? Deficiency? Insufficiency? A lack thereof? Is it this mindless blob, formless and dark or a mangled form of flesh, eating away at you and your insecurities? Like a virus, it pins you, goes deep inside you and there is never enough antibiotic for you... This inadequacy keeps me up at ungodly hours where the sun howls and moon chirps, the clouds look at us, feigning interest, idly looking but never interacting. This inadequacy lulls me in irregular fever dreams where comfort lies in solitude and loneliness, where the people that surround you, cover their ears, bites their cheek, looks forwards, smiles faintly, but never tries to understanding. My heart wails for the smallest of things. Nothing, nothing becomes everything. My successes make me feel less, still. Everything, everything becomes nothing. I am this inadequate thing, floating around, never seeming to be enough. Inadequate. Because i could not protect myself from those who touch my skin like its free real estate, those clammy hands holding me in a state A state of frenzy that never seems to end Inadequate. That no matter what I do, my past will forever haunt me and define the being I am now that no matter how much I change, and try and try and try to do good, it will never be enough. And those same voices, those same people, they say they scream they tell me, “You should have told me.” “You should have fought back.” “You are a waste of time.” “You are dumb.” “You are nothing.” “You waste your talents for something as this,” And those same people, let go of words That back then would have meant nothing But now it seems to be everything It becomes my identity It becomes my oxygen It becomes the blood that circulates in my body It becomes the endorphins in my brain Nothing becomes everything. And everything that I’ve tried to change, worked hard to achieve, tried to mend, was sorry for, starts to become nothing. But I am tired of feeling like nothing. That everything I do is always inadequate. That it is some form of scarcity, deficiency, insufficiency, a lack thereof. These mindless blobs, or mangled forms of flesh, Like a virus, it pins me, goes deep inside me and there is never enough antibiotic for me... Because instead of listening, to understand, to empathize, they listen so they can jeopardize... Whatever love is left that I could give to myself, Without a shred of doubt, In a warm, bright embrace for myself, in a corner slouched. So, I ask these voices, who are only here to remind how inadequate I am: How do I fight back? How do I be good enough? How do I become less dumb? How do I make nothing stay as nothing? And appreciate everything as everything? Because day by day, this inadequacy I feel, gets really tiring.
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Sep 18, 2020
Sep 18, 2020 at 1:26 PM UTC
INADEQUATE
Everything feels like nothing, and nothing starts to feel like everything. Everyday. Everyday as I wake up, Nothing ever beats the feeling of inadequacy. Inadequacy to do good Inadequacy as a daughter Inadequacy as a student Inadequacy as a person Inadequacy in feeling good within my own body Inadequacy from feeling good about myself. Everyday feels like an endless loop, you best believe my misery hunts me. But what is inadequacy? Is it scarcity? Deficiency? Insufficiency? A lack thereof? Is it this mindless blob, formless and dark or a mangled form of flesh, eating away at you and your insecurities? Like a virus, it pins you, goes deep inside you and there is never enough antibiotic for you... This inadequacy keeps me up at ungodly hours where the sun howls and moon chirps, the clouds look at us, feigning interest, idly looking but never interacting. This inadequacy lulls me in irregular fever dreams where comfort lies in solitude and loneliness, where the people that surround you, cover their ears, bites their cheek, looks forwards, smiles faintly, but never tries to understanding. My heart wails for the smallest of things. Nothing, nothing becomes everything. My successes make me feel less, still. Everything, everything becomes nothing. I am this inadequate thing, floating around, never seeming to be enough. Inadequate. Because i could not protect myself from those who touch my skin like its free real estate, those clammy hands holding me in a state A state of frenzy that never seems to end Inadequate. That no matter what I do, my past will forever haunt me and define the being I am now that no matter how much I change, and try and try and try to do good, it will never be enough. And those same voices, those same people, they say they scream they tell me, “You should have told me.” “You should have fought back.” “You are a waste of time.” “You are dumb.” “You are nothing.” “You waste your talents for something as this,” And those same people, let go of words That back then would have meant nothing But now it seems to be everything It becomes my identity It becomes my oxygen It becomes the blood that circulates in my body It becomes the endorphins in my brain Nothing becomes everything. And everything that I’ve tried to change, worked hard to achieve, tried to mend, was sorry for, starts to become nothing. But I am tired of feeling like nothing. That everything I do is always inadequate. That it is some form of scarcity, deficiency, insufficiency, a lack thereof. These mindless blobs, or mangled forms of flesh, Like a virus, it pins me, goes deep inside me and there is never enough antibiotic for me... Because instead of listening, to understand, to empathize, they listen so they can jeopardize... Whatever love is left that I could give to myself, Without a shred of doubt, In a warm, bright embrace for myself, in a corner slouched. So, I ask these voices, who are only here to remind how inadequate I am: How do I fight back? How do I be good enough? How do I become less dumb? How do I make nothing stay as nothing? And appreciate everything as everything? Because day by day, this inadequacy I feel, gets really tiring.
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52
Love's misunderstood By the heart That’s unable to feel We give the meanings So many tags Yet, love’s above all We trivialize And jeopardize Expectations galore None that Love wants Above all our Laid down rules It’s akin to freedom We seem to burden It with materialistic Paraphernalia Love is rustic Most simple of feelings Complicated over the ages Converted to a drama Scripted by falsity It’s above those words Revealing the soul To a pristine feeling Thrown into murkiness Sinister deals Much effort to malign Beautiful Love Let Love be Away from Convoluted thoughts
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Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 8:53 AM UTC
Love Misinterpreted
These voices haunt me day and night, Their mostly mean, their not nice. I try to survive, they jeopardize my life. They terrorize my mind, all the time. They push me off this mountain i climb, Its harder to climb everytime i try. I pray to God and ask him why‽ I look up at the sky with my eyes and cry, Wanting to tell these voices bye.
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Jun 10, 2024
Jun 10, 2024 at 10:29 PM UTC
Day and Night
My walls will cave in (just like placards stacked up horizontally fall back with the wind) along with every wave of anxiety- Right then, I will fall short of words, or rather lose the intelligence of speaking- Goosebumps, butterflies, shivers and my heart dipping into the cold Pacific won't just be defense mechanisms. My heart will appear to jolt awake and then dead repeatedly by the society I put myself in; I will feel electricity running around in my veins, often sparking out of my eyes as the salty tears that trigger short circuits The ones they say could be caused by the heat- Indeed- but it's also the cold, the wind, rain and the snow Words like unknown, unforeseen and anonymous manifesting and getting under my skin- make my jaws quiver and heart dip. Often my gut nudges me to stand and to speak and to, for once, not fear an omen before I deliver a speech, But when I speak, though my mouth moves to enunciate what I remembered from the paper, And as I attempt to collect and reflect my confidence through my features, My fingers tremble as I try to fit them into my fists behind my back- These legs shiver behind the pedestal, hidden under slacks. For people think these mere trifles shouldn't ******* the silhouette that I bear, Fear of the unknown? Don't be scared, scared! My nerve ends nervously make my fingers dance as I attempt to provide them a temporary occupation- 'Cross your fingers, close your fists, Pretend to text, you're better than this.' So dear me, oh dear me I am sorry- I am sorry for constantly holding you back; Sorry for all the chances I did not let you take, all because I sometimes tend to diverge my faults out as through a prism, And have always been someone who can never jeopardize her pursuit for perfection. Sorry, for the seeds of my anxiety have given birth to the roots of my skepticism- For I paint doubt over every pretty scenery you etch in my mind, My inhibitions and myself, thinking things over, rewind, rewind. If I were Rapunzel my anxiety would be the tower that holds me encapsulated- a hostage; With no demands whatsoever, only a plain, ruthless, endless need to cause damage.
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Aug 5, 2016
Aug 5, 2016 at 9:05 AM UTC
Anxiety's Choreography
My walls will cave in (just like placards stacked up horizontally fall back with the wind) along with every wave of anxiety- Right then, I will fall short of words, or rather lose the intelligence of speaking- Goosebumps, butterflies, shivers and my heart dipping into the cold Pacific won't just be defense mechanisms. My heart will appear to jolt awake and then dead repeatedly by the society I put myself in; I will feel electricity running around in my veins, often sparking out of my eyes as the salty tears that trigger short circuits The ones they say could be caused by the heat- Indeed- but it's also the cold, the wind, rain and the snow Words like unknown, unforeseen and anonymous manifesting and getting under my skin- make my jaws quiver and heart dip. Often my gut nudges me to stand and to speak and to, for once, not fear an omen before I deliver a speech, But when I speak, though my mouth moves to enunciate what I remembered from the paper, And as I attempt to collect and reflect my confidence through my features, My fingers tremble as I try to fit them into my fists behind my back- These legs shiver behind the pedestal, hidden under slacks. For people think these mere trifles shouldn't ******* the silhouette that I bear, Fear of the unknown? Don't be scared, scared! My nerve ends nervously make my fingers dance as I attempt to provide them a temporary occupation- 'Cross your fingers, close your fists, Pretend to text, you're better than this.' So dear me, oh dear me I am sorry- I am sorry for constantly holding you back; Sorry for all the chances I did not let you take, all because I sometimes tend to diverge my faults out as through a prism, And have always been someone who can never jeopardize her pursuit for perfection. Sorry, for the seeds of my anxiety have given birth to the roots of my skepticism- For I paint doubt over every pretty scenery you etch in my mind, My inhibitions and myself, thinking things over, rewind, rewind. If I were Rapunzel my anxiety would be the tower that holds me encapsulated- a hostage; With no demands whatsoever, only a plain, ruthless, endless need to cause damage.
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Sweet liars and their sugar coated lies… Root from their heart and branch out in the skies… Their innocent souls and deceptive eyes… Their polished shoes and branded ties… In the beginning they seek your attention… The next desire is your affection… By recital of their past and rejection… Either from them or from other direction… “Don’t sympathies sweetheart, I am a strong man… Okay”… “My heart comes free with this ring and bouquet”… “Say yes, my love, we’ll plan a holiday”… “Let’s go shopping for your lingerie”… The candles are lit and the dinner is served… The charm and chivalry is observed… His scent and accent leaves you unnerved… He is definitely the prince you thought you deserved… Ah! And you fall in the trap and love as well… Dreaming of him and his tempting propel… You talk of him and his stories you tell… Of the vamps he dated and your own love spell … He has your trust and you are happy high… His kisses and touch you can’t deny… “He loves me so much” you amplify… You light his nights like a firefly… Now when you feel the bygones are supplanted… The road gets a little slanted… When you are more often taken for granted… His fluctuations show the doldrums are planted… You inspect the change and the causes aligned… And come across the love texts enshrined… You feel shattered and maligned… The way you are portrayed and opined… You demotion as ex is celebrated with a raised toast… With his new flame and he playing host… You embrace your strength with care utmost… His vows and love , haunting you like ghosts… You want to cry till you paralyze… Blaming thyself for this jeopardize… The arduous task to analyze, summarize and self sterilize… From these sweet liars and their sugar coated lies… ~Kathaa Kirti
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Jan 8, 2015
Jan 8, 2015 at 4:25 AM UTC
Sweet Liars
Sweet liars and their sugar coated lies… Root from their heart and branch out in the skies… Their innocent souls and deceptive eyes… Their polished shoes and branded ties… In the beginning they seek your attention… The next desire is your affection… By recital of their past and rejection… Either from them or from other direction… “Don’t sympathies sweetheart, I am a strong man… Okay”… “My heart comes free with this ring and bouquet”… “Say yes, my love, we’ll plan a holiday”… “Let’s go shopping for your lingerie”… The candles are lit and the dinner is served… The charm and chivalry is observed… His scent and accent leaves you unnerved… He is definitely the prince you thought you deserved… Ah! And you fall in the trap and love as well… Dreaming of him and his tempting propel… You talk of him and his stories you tell… Of the vamps he dated and your own love spell … He has your trust and you are happy high… His kisses and touch you can’t deny… “He loves me so much” you amplify… You light his nights like a firefly… Now when you feel the bygones are supplanted… The road gets a little slanted… When you are more often taken for granted… His fluctuations show the doldrums are planted… You inspect the change and the causes aligned… And come across the love texts enshrined… You feel shattered and maligned… The way you are portrayed and opined… You demotion as ex is celebrated with a raised toast… With his new flame and he playing host… You embrace your strength with care utmost… His vows and love , haunting you like ghosts… You want to cry till you paralyze… Blaming thyself for this jeopardize… The arduous task to analyze, summarize and self sterilize… From these sweet liars and their sugar coated lies… ~Kathaa Kirti
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Double glazed prisons that suffocate us in Stopping air dainty pure saturating chakras and healing pores Skewed panes Isolate and whisper Lies keeping us inside to jeopardize All destiny Meant to thrive. Glass severing our connection to the quaint outside Leaving Nature, Our spirit guide, meekly to subside when seen through this lens of poisoned eyes.
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Aug 31, 2020
Aug 31, 2020 at 9:49 AM UTC
Window, poisoned lens
There used to be a valley here where this man-made mound sits, like a bump on a log, Well, this used to be a valley. back in the day before batteries, before outlets, before highway gas mileage, before we realized how many life forms we could jeopardize. Now there’s just beeping, and dumping, and hissing, and honking and spilling, and wasting and burning, and taxing and killing. Now we're filling the part of Earth that we call dirt- give it a hopeless name so that we can spit in it years before we’re buried in it.
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Sep 23, 2011
Sep 23, 2011 at 4:31 AM UTC
Recycle after Reading
I've come to terms, That I am going to lose you no matter what. Either to your hometown, Or the hometown hero himself. Yet I will mourn not, For if this is in your best interest, So be it. I feel the blood, Dripping from the corners of my mouth, From biting my tongue, To replace these inquisitions. Why? Why? Why? Why? Such a blissful entity, you are. A pure blessing to everyone you touch. Is it possible for Angels to suffer tribulations? I guess it appears so. Why would you jeopardize, The single life I hold dear to me. Why are you so miserable? I blame myself. Not only as partially, The source of your pain, But also for not acting sooner. For making you miss that test. I've seen your self-destructive streak. I've seen your cynical nature. Yet I said nothing. Did nothing. And now it's too late. I can't save you from this. Not even if you wanted me to. O how I wish that weren't so. How I wish I could accompany you, In the week to come, But you must face this alone. How could you be so selfish?! Yet is it selfish of me, To deem your actions selfish? For it is of my own selfish desires, That your life cannot be diminished.
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Nov 16, 2012
Nov 16, 2012 at 2:33 PM UTC
Selfish
I ask myself a plethora of questions as I lay weeping on my bed in the pursuit of crying myself to sleep at night. I ask myself how you're so untouched by the ordeal of my pain, by which you have inflicted upon me. How is it that someone can mean so much to you, or at least act like they do, and then stab you in the back, heart and stomach; simultaneously? How is it that someone can neglect your feelings so quickly and selectively? How is it that someone can jeopardize all that you've had and been through just for one insignificant, worthless moment? These are just a small selected amount of questions that penetrate my ill, mind. But it's your fault. Entirely. And I will blame you for eternity, infinity and furthermore endlessly. From young, innocent specimens we are persistently told that hurting other people is immoral, so why are certain beings so immune and untouched to the pain that they inflict? Why are certain beings so rash within their decisions and therefore their actions? But most of all... How is it fair that specific humans are so untouched by their barbaric and murderous actions? You might be untouched by my affliction, but at least I am in touch with my morals. Guilt will drown you but the current will move me on.
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Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 2:19 PM UTC
Untouched
The illusion Peace and safety cherished but to allow awareness to go out of style is a formula for disaster Preparedness and meticulous planning is the guard that should be ever vigilant at each of our homes Who thinks in terms of a lion in America naturally no spiritually yes the devil goes about as a lion to see Whom he may devour unless the family is unable and in extreme circumstances every home has Different insurance policies to protect and assure a fulfilled life and a safe one but ask how is the Spiritual side that has far greater implications and dangers that are eternal deaths immeasurable Costs should be the utmost concern to neglect is to jeopardize not only your family but the whole nation Is set adrift in a world where dangers can only be truly computed by God himself the unseen does Matter and holds the greatest costs that are payable in human life then human souls the devil has got People raging with madness and through them destruction will continue to mount the only antidote is Praying men and women and God will be our protection they won’t walk freely into our homeland and Destroy our people and our cities that is their next fiend driven goal
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Jan 31, 2012
Jan 31, 2012 at 11:03 PM UTC
The Illusion
Never not know nothing Know for a fact that it’s you It will always be you Has been you since I seen your pants I love you I adore you I respect you And will never do **** to jeopardize that I’m yours, fully In all ways Never not know Never not know what I will or will not do Always know that I put you in mind first I know the consequences and never will I test the waters In no way, shape or form I want to water your grass I want to nurture your mind I want to caress your emotions and protect your feelings I want you and only ******* you I hope and pray these words are mutual Reciprocation is everything You and me Me and you Not for a good time but for a long time I love you, KCNH 🤎🤞🏽
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Sep 22, 2025
Sep 22, 2025 at 6:46 AM UTC
Never Not Knowing
550 I cross till I am weary A Mountain—in my mind— More Mountains—then a Sea— More Seas—And then A Desert—find— And My Horizon blocks With steady—drifting—Grains Of unconjectured quantity— As Asiatic Rains— Nor this—defeat my Pace— It hinder from the West But as an Enemy’s Salute One hurrying to Rest— What merit had the Goal— Except there intervene Faint Doubt—and far Competitor— To jeopardize the Gain? At last—the Grace in sight— I shout unto my feet— I offer them the Whole of Heaven The instant that we meet— They strive—and yet delay— They perish—Do we die— Or is this Death’s Experiment— Reversed—in Victory?
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1.1k
I cross till I am weary
Eve's evil eyes Williamsji Maveli In the creation of God’s own stunning paradise    Adam, the first male sat devoid of any jeopardize Fostering the grace and loveliness of **** Eve looking at her natural, fiery body with a wicked eye, A snake, crawled from other side of the forbidden tree Both, Adam and Eye, were uncovered and free The eternal backyard stood with red ripened apples, While his lips longed hard towards her ******* The first ever sin, they dealt with quietly sitting Eating, embracing and together biting God, announced his annoyance to human on earth Watch, you will never last, but you will give birth In pain to sinful sons and daughters in million And then, God disappeared to his pavilion Later, forever sinfully, they lived for mankind Singing the gospel of the devil so unkind BY WILLIAMSJI MAVELI
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Jul 29, 2012
Jul 29, 2012 at 2:52 AM UTC
Eve's evil eyes
Sinfully yours By Williamsji In the creation of God’s own stunning paradise    Adam, the first male sat devoid of any jeopardize Fostering the grace and loveliness of **** Eve looking at her natural, fiery body with a wicked eye A snake, crawled from other side of the forbidden tree Both, Adam and Eye, were uncovered and free The eternal backyard stood with red ripened apples While his lips longed hard towards her ******* The first ever sin, they dealt with quietly sitting           Eating, embracing and together biting God, announced his annoyance to human on earth Watch, you will never last, but you will give birth In pain to sinful sons and daughters in million And then, God disappeared to his pavilion Later, forever sinfully, they lived for mankind              Singing the gospel of the devil so unkind Williamsji
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Jul 9, 2012
Jul 9, 2012 at 10:59 PM UTC
Sinfully YOURS.......
I really should want to be here This impending dread of tomorrow isn’t normal I claw at my back Push on my ribs and try Try to collapse in and maybe just maybe Concentrating and compacting who I am will make Me Clearer and more easily understood And while my ribs jab my heart and my spine claws my stomach It is a joyous reminder I have both My head hurts and my hair falls in front of my eyes I am just hoping my seams Are better sown than those of my fading sneakers Thread bare and fraying I fear coming undone I don’t want to unravel and be a pile of string But a ball of yarn is less out of place in this scene than my face I need change I don’t want it Not like you seek comfort No I seek only survival and change is a necessity to mine Anyone who has known me long knows this I constantly cut my hair and change its colors Wear new things and change the things I have I am a flowing gypsy not tethered to any place But no matter how hard I try my personal change holds no grasp on the world’s around me I am not nor will I ever be A reflection of the world around me No matter how I wish and try I cannot mold the world to reflect the ball of yarn inside of me I do not hate who I am I wish not to conform and change who I am Rather the world to shift its view so what’s inside me wasn’t so foreign and strange I wish I wanted to be here I wish I longed to see your faces But when I take a leave of absence I don’t seek to return I can take vacations but these journeys are only a reminder of the world that I have to come home to Not a refreshing break to prepare me to return There are too many noose filled closets And too many plastic faces I wish I didn’t have to face everyone around me as if I was the part of themselves they hate I wish I wasn’t a target But I would not change the reminder that I have become That red flag in the fog in this place that shows people a piece of themselves they tried to bury I will not change me I will not change you But in this twisted backwards world My refusal to be someone else is a threat to your attempts to be And I jeopardize your sinking ship of an image you have tried to build And I am sorry Not sorry that I force you to no longer deny your identity I am purely sorry that I live in a world that I have that ability I am sorry that me and you and everyone sit here Yet I still am the only one with the power The only one set upon the task of telling you That you are human
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Mar 17, 2013
Mar 17, 2013 at 3:31 PM UTC
A work in progress...
I really should want to be here This impending dread of tomorrow isn’t normal I claw at my back Push on my ribs and try Try to collapse in and maybe just maybe Concentrating and compacting who I am will make Me Clearer and more easily understood And while my ribs jab my heart and my spine claws my stomach It is a joyous reminder I have both My head hurts and my hair falls in front of my eyes I am just hoping my seams Are better sown than those of my fading sneakers Thread bare and fraying I fear coming undone I don’t want to unravel and be a pile of string But a ball of yarn is less out of place in this scene than my face I need change I don’t want it Not like you seek comfort No I seek only survival and change is a necessity to mine Anyone who has known me long knows this I constantly cut my hair and change its colors Wear new things and change the things I have I am a flowing gypsy not tethered to any place But no matter how hard I try my personal change holds no grasp on the world’s around me I am not nor will I ever be A reflection of the world around me No matter how I wish and try I cannot mold the world to reflect the ball of yarn inside of me I do not hate who I am I wish not to conform and change who I am Rather the world to shift its view so what’s inside me wasn’t so foreign and strange I wish I wanted to be here I wish I longed to see your faces But when I take a leave of absence I don’t seek to return I can take vacations but these journeys are only a reminder of the world that I have to come home to Not a refreshing break to prepare me to return There are too many noose filled closets And too many plastic faces I wish I didn’t have to face everyone around me as if I was the part of themselves they hate I wish I wasn’t a target But I would not change the reminder that I have become That red flag in the fog in this place that shows people a piece of themselves they tried to bury I will not change me I will not change you But in this twisted backwards world My refusal to be someone else is a threat to your attempts to be And I jeopardize your sinking ship of an image you have tried to build And I am sorry Not sorry that I force you to no longer deny your identity I am purely sorry that I live in a world that I have that ability I am sorry that me and you and everyone sit here Yet I still am the only one with the power The only one set upon the task of telling you That you are human
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Every night i lay in my bed thinking, trying to picture what tomorrow will bring, But these visions have limitations to what lay ahead, Mass destruction of the mind very hard to hide, what is it that i fear most? i don't know, these dreams can't be interpreted, a state of entropy i'm in, Day dreaming of a glossy life, In silence and tranquillity, at night so glum as a glue, or am i scared of the future responsibilities that awaits? It may be near when it seems so far, Is that what i truly fear? i can hear myself think, as i feel my inner voice grating on my nerves, this sincere tone & eloquent words arousing me to reality, my head propped up n both side, realizing the thing i fear most is been me, these words are brewing in my mind, Or is it the mistakes i have made due to human fallibility? i can't keep wallowing sentimentally, due to the fear of the unknown, All i have to do is focus on the future, In other not to jeopardize what lays head, with tension & pressure, Its time i confide in me, Life will always have its twist and turns.
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Jul 2, 2013
Jul 2, 2013 at 9:17 PM UTC
FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
I once meant everything to you. I was yours as much as you were mine. No one could come between us. No one to jeopardize what was fated to be. —or so I thought. It always begins perfectly. —falling in love, Becoming captivated in embraces, voices, hugs... Then things turn awry. Simple issues become large. Positivity swings to negativity, Love turns to hate. Love making turns to meaningless ***** Warm embraces run cold. Bonds dwindle into oblivion. No more cuddling. No more touch. No more feelings. No more love. Regretfully—No more us.
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Sep 6, 2014
Sep 6, 2014 at 11:03 PM UTC
No More Us
My razor is so powerful Always fixing me when I'm broke From cutting  lines in my arm To cutting lines of coke My razor is my weapon Only used to defeat myself And I can't tell if my tool is good or bad Since I'm not hurting/"fixing" anyone else
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Jul 12, 2017
Jul 12, 2017 at 4:51 AM UTC
Double Jeopardize
At a moment in time some things can change your life momentarily while others can change your life forever. In this case a man is challenged. Do we give up and fall or do we prosper? While things may not be easy do we grow stronger by faith or do we drift off in silence? Why stay quiet when others may have dealt with a similar situation as you? It's not healthy... The lord said accept the ones whose faith is weak, without quarreling over dispute matters. So why not be open? Why not be open to others for They may be blinded? Many Walk by sight and not by faith... We have to bring them in, we have to hold them close; not turn them away. the Lord said thou shall not judge or you too shall be judged. So why do you turn people away and cast them out? None of us are perfect but the man himself. So When we face challenges such as losing a loved one, losing a job, having allegations made to jeopardize you, hypocrites among you speaking hinderously, a sudden sickness or disease... It is Gods intention! For we may not understand why at first, his purpose was always written for each and everyone of us. In time, we will finally understand why certain obstacles were place in our lives.
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May 10, 2017
May 10, 2017 at 6:10 PM UTC
Words Of Wisdom With Thought
Should have never been born at all Not born at all is way With this face And this name Don't cry inside your paper house or Your paper hours comes crashing down More than what my mother said More than just a doll to dress More than just an empty head That couldn't ammount to less Am I What little I know about myself Is piled high upon a shelf Waiting for my mind to realign And find that I've been Starving my ego Having conversations With the skeletons in my closet Making fun of their Feeble spines But realizing So is mine Still too proud to apologize I tried to write a poem But ended up with a full waste bin And a dull safety pin Yet I don't mean to jeopardize The precision of your perfect lies Oh humanity I've tried To define myself with a dictionary Leaving fingerprints on the obituary The fabric scraps in my closet still Send me guilt from my grandmother In patterns from the sixties Oh one day when day when I'm dead and gone And know that life is much too long To spend as someone else My poems and my fabric will become Vintage pessimism in a shoebox Glowering down from someone else's shelf
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Sep 22, 2015
Sep 22, 2015 at 6:29 PM UTC
Vintage Pessimism in a Shoebox
Now in these eyes, petrified, terrified, suicide, In all the walks of life, fighting only to survive, A man's pride is weaponized; his failings widely televised, All the moments of love's bitter sweet,—by what we gingerfy, Love is red; putting yourself out there to be hurt and jeopardize, Learning from past mistakes,—change of character we gentrify. Oh the next line; follow suit of a route to death wrapped in a necktie, We envy to say "hie," but are accustomed to saying short goodbyes, As life is a constant trial; walking court cases with a confident smile, "Guilty or not," all of my shortcomings I press on in their denial. I've walked a thousand's,—in a mile of every breath of time, Though I haven't lived a while, I've seen plenty in these eyes.
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Jun 4, 2022
Jun 4, 2022 at 1:09 PM UTC
These eyes👀