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flamingogirl Feb 22
I wasn't sure at what point
my feelings of
inadequacy and failure
would penetrate the boundaries
of my thoughts and
manifest themselves in a physical way
which scare not only the strangers
that pass me on the street
and see my now skeletal body
but also those I love the most.
Today I choose recovery. Today I choose to quiet that voice because it has changed from something I had control of and felt comfortable in, to something which scares everyone around me and myself.
Debbie Lydon Feb 10
Help me to be unafraid of that armed and brutal introspection, that marches ever closer, advancing, just ahead,
Walk me to the entrance of that terrible twilight, then allow me never again to be led,
Make me the captain of my sorrow and yearning, I am the rightful heir to my own head,
Permit me be bold in my eternal learning, let me sever my loosening inadequacy thread.
Samara Nov 2020
daughters of pageant queens
like them you
             want
          me
       to
   be

i come from a broken gallery
on display for
                           no
                               one
                                      to
                                           see
Everything feels like nothing, and nothing starts to feel like everything.

Everyday. Everyday as I wake up,

Nothing ever beats the feeling of inadequacy.

Inadequacy to do good
Inadequacy as a daughter
Inadequacy as a student
Inadequacy as a person
Inadequacy in feeling good within my own body
Inadequacy from feeling good about myself.

Everyday feels like an endless loop, you best believe my misery hunts me.

But what is inadequacy?

Is it scarcity? Deficiency? Insufficiency? A lack thereof?

Is it this mindless blob, formless and dark or a mangled form of flesh, eating away at you and your insecurities?

Like a virus, it pins you, goes deep inside you and there is never enough antibiotic for you...

This inadequacy keeps me up at ungodly hours where the sun howls and moon chirps, the clouds look at us, feigning interest, idly looking but never interacting.

This inadequacy lulls me in irregular fever dreams where comfort lies in solitude and loneliness,
where the people that surround you, cover their ears, bites their cheek, looks forwards, smiles faintly, but never tries to understanding.

My heart wails for the smallest of things. Nothing, nothing becomes everything.

My successes make me feel less, still. Everything, everything becomes nothing.

I am this inadequate thing, floating around, never seeming to be enough.

Inadequate. Because i could not protect myself from those who touch my skin like its free real estate, those clammy hands holding me in a state
A state of frenzy that never seems to end

Inadequate. That no matter what I do, my past will forever haunt me and define the being I am now that no matter how much I change, and try and try and try to do good, it will never be
enough.

And those same voices, those same people, they say they scream they tell me,
“You should have told me.”
“You should have fought back.”
“You are a waste of time.”
“You are dumb.”
“You are nothing.”
“You waste your talents for something as this,”

And those same people, let go of words
That back then would have meant nothing
But now it seems to be everything
It becomes my identity
It becomes my oxygen
It becomes the blood that circulates in my body
It becomes the endorphins in my brain

Nothing becomes everything. And everything that I’ve tried to change, worked hard to achieve, tried to mend, was sorry for, starts to become nothing.



But I am tired of feeling like nothing. That everything I do is always inadequate. That it is some form of scarcity, deficiency, insufficiency, a lack thereof.

These mindless blobs, or mangled forms of flesh,

Like a virus, it pins me, goes deep inside me and there is never enough antibiotic for me...

Because instead of listening, to understand, to empathize, they listen so they can jeopardize...
Whatever love is left that I could give to myself,
Without a shred of doubt,
In a warm, bright embrace for myself, in a corner slouched.



So, I ask these voices, who are only here to remind how inadequate I am:
How do I fight back?
How do I be good enough?
How do I become less dumb?
How do I make nothing stay as nothing? And appreciate everything as everything?

Because day by day, this inadequacy I feel, gets really tiring.
• December 13, 2019 | 12 PM

This was my audition piece for a competition I auditioned for that unfortunately did not push through because of the pandemic. In my journey with poetry, I want to continue to hone my form and create something that is true to me but also mirrors the lives of others and that we may be able to share a sense of empathy for one another's struggles.
newpoetica Jun 2020
three inches --
that's how far away you are from a corset that cinches.

so close, yet so far...
you aren't up to standards, you aren't up to par.

beauty is in the eye of the beholder --
hell, you'll be even more grotesque as you get older.

words cut deeply from those you care for...
i'm sorry that i can't be your perfect little *****.
sorry my poetry has been so negative lately.
Colm Sep 2019
Someday, they'll burry my grave, long after the ink and parchment have faded.

Long after my thoughts have longsince passed into the undying lands.

I just hope that my neices don't have to burry me

Which is why now I search for a new family.
Inadequate Search
Wyatt Jun 2019
She’s feeling inadequate,
insecure about her body.
She spends her allowance on
makeup and name-brand clothes.
She practices poses, specific ways
to flaunt her body for the boys
who are watching her every move.
She begins rigorous diets
to drop a bunch of weight
she doesn't have to lose.
She spends countless time
perfecting a look, a personality,
mastering a life they will accept.
This girl's even talking differently,
telling them what they want to hear.
She looked like she was
right out of a magazine,
and all this work for what exactly?
For the boy that steps in
to toy with her faint heart,
shattering it in the process?
She sacrifices her own wants daily
for people who shouldn't have a say
and I hate to see that happen
because this girl was much more beautiful
in the beginning before she tried to change.
This one is inspired by someone I once knew. I saw her change herself slowly over time, desperately trying to match the expectations that can be wrongfully placed on a lot of young women today. At first it was empowering to see the reactions others had, but eventually she came to the realization that she was never truly making these changes for herself. She was changing for all of the people around her, afraid of rejection or being isolated from the crowd. I feel this is an important message for every single one of us, but I know it hits home for plenty of women out there. Don't alter yourself or change yourself to match the expectations people have forced onto you. Don't feel obligated to put your own feelings aside to cater to anyone else's opinion of you. Do what makes YOU happy inside and most importantly, learn to love yourself for who you really are inside. You are the most beautiful when you are you and I hope you know that. Much love to all of you and thank you for reading.
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