Some people
They take life seriously
Experience only once
Not afraid to feel everything
Never frayed or afraid
To them
Tomorrow is just the end of another
Day?
Tomorrow is just the end of another
Day?
I remember it wasn't so long ago
I was afraid
Desperately yearning for everything
I gave
It’s been five years now
I could give it up any
Day?
I could give it up any
Day?
But I guess I take life seriously
Never tried anything
But once
I think I've felt everything
This
This is kind of a different
Day
Just an end to another
Day?
Some people take life seriously
Teetering off the edge
You only live once is what they'll say
Never admitting
A fear
Tomorrow
Is just the end of another
Day?
But I kind of feel different today
Today
I learned no matter
What I say
I'm a fool to ask forgiveness
From someone who has already left
At least figuratively
I miss those
Days
I miss those
Days
When we were so young
All we did was play
But now we're all gone
At least figuratively
You can't ask forgiveness from
One
One who has left yesterday
I guess I could give up any
Day?
I guess I could give up any
Day?
And go to some place
Some place that feels like a family
A home that feels like
Family
Maybe
Just the end of another
Day?
Just the end of another
Day?
Or we could realize
The years that lead to time
Maybe could unwind the mistrust
After all the
Lies
The lies that time leaves behind
The lies of who we are
Maybe some believe all these
Lies and time
Are better off
Sticking to whiskey, gin and wine
Maybe to them
It's just the end of another
Day?
The past has already gone away
I could give up any
Day?
Tomorrow is the end of another day
And I know I just can't
Stay

I eat until my chest hurts
ignoring the fact my acidic heart  
wills, calls, shouts for me to stop (hurting)
myself

For I know once the sweet oozing gold runs down my throat and
calms the feelings of an anxiety disorder,
it will quickly strike to a halt
and evaporates as quickly as it came
turning gold to rust;
and comfort pain.


It leaves me more bruised, battered and empty
(this is high class gluttony)

than when I cut my fingers from unwrapping the packaging.

yet

the void remains unfilled
and I'm no longer happy

©Rebekah Lazarus 2014

Why don't you just shove it in my face like all the others
Yeah, I'm not enough.
No need to remind me.

You're my:
A. Addiction
B. Best Friend
C. Comforter
D. Daydream
E. Equal
F. Family
G. Guy
H. Hero
I. Idiot
J. Joy
K. King
L. Lucky charm
M. Man
N. Number 1
O. Open Door
P. Prince
Q. Question
R. Role Model
S. Star
T. Tear
U. Uniting hand
V. Valentine
W. Winter Gift
X. The 'x' to my equation
Y. You
Z. Love Zone