I slapped myself just now.
My face is numb;
Tingling

As if a herd had stampeded over my very own right cheek and perhaps a few of the pack had

                                        Stumbled

Over my very own rough skin, and do you think that hatred

                                        Seeps

Up into your pores? Or does it

                                        Sink

Down into your organs because I'd like to know which part of my body will be the first to deteriorate, the first to

                                        Spoil

Under the weight of my very own hate for myself and everything around me.


Do you ever half-accidentally

                                        Pause

Just to glare at your own selfishness and wonder how you ever became such a vile creature? With venom in your very own blood, How could one ever

                                        Plant

Such a seed of pure evil like a virus stemming from your very own mind but there you go again blaming someone else for something that's really

Your very own fault.

i forgot
I'm 20 now

Love, actually
is nothing but two hearts intertwined.
love, actually
is nothing but two into one heart combined.

Love, actually

hurts so much.

but I'd rather have loved and lost

than to have loved never before.

My heart is intertwined
forever with yours in time.

I think I have found
The spark needed to ignite
The dead flame in me

When i think back to the day I met you, my heart explodes.
I am both the happiest person in the world, because I hugged you, and the saddest because it's been so long.
In class, I can't focus because the memory of your smile keeps coming back to me.
In my head, it never gets quiet anymore because my mind keeps replaying the sound of your chuckle, and those words I've been longing to hear.
No hug will ever feel
as warm
and safe
and happy anymore,
because no one's arms fit me like yours.
You are constantly on repeat in my mind;
your laugh, your smile, your words, your arms, your smell...

I miss you so much, my heart cannot take it anymore.
And I cannot help but wonder,
how you can be the worst thing that's ever happened to my heart when you're the best that's ever happened to me.

Poet: be gentle with yourself
never compare yourself to the coffee house across the street
the one that looks so lonely and wise with it’s brewing tales
and tea leaves
do not forget that you are a magician’s tarot cards, fate
holders and dream menders and plot twisters
poet: be gentle with yourself
you are a small wind hiding from the storm
but trust me your calm will come
remember that you are made of the stars and the universe
and that every atom inside of you is alive just like how
your words are
poet: be gentle with yourself
I know how it feels to hold back from writing
because you depreciate your own self worth
but trust me
the sun shines every day
just to catch a glimpse of you
and the moon cherishes your
fluttering eyelids the way I
cherish you.