Everyone has their addictions.
Mine just so happens to be you.

Maybe it's addiction
Or perhaps it is for pleasure
As she pulls the cigarette
Up to her lips.

And she knows she doesn't need it
But it gives this sort of feeling
Of a long time gone nostalgia
That she never knew she had.

And it makes her think of others
And their smell
And touch
And taste
In a way that only
Cigarettes could.

And maybe she's addicted
But if she is it's to their fingers
And perhaps it is for pleasure
But she finds it on their tongue
As she pulls the cigarette
Up to her lips.

My last time with you
I put my lips
On your shoulder.

I wasn't thinking.
I wanted to bring you close,
You were crying.

So I brought my lips
To your shoulder.
And I opened up
To your skin.

And I was so involved
In everything that
You were.

My mouth.
Your shoulder.
My lips.
Your skin.

You will never
Leave
My mind.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

but then I met

you

and none of the
worries
or
words
from before
mattered at all

So sweet and pure
And nothing more
You'd never break
A heart.

"Keep me safe"
I pleaded.

I told you from the start
Not to fall for me.
Because
I know what
My heart does.

Now look
What we've
Become.

I traced your body
The day I left you.

From your brows
To your hips
To just before your toes.

I felt the way
You move with me
And then I sent you home.

Oh how I torture
Myself.

Please don't let me
Let you go.

My dear
You deserve
The Milky Way.
And I am
But a star.

And just like that,
You're gone.

I can't love you
In the way that I want to

And that kills me.

When I think of you now
It's like I'm thinking of
The image on a picture.
Not really thinking of a person
Just the idea of one.

You were too good to be true
From the start of it all.

I went along with it.
I thought that we were playing
And I thought it was fun
And then my heart had other ideas.

My mind's been confused
For awhile now.
Ever since
I started feeling this way about you.

But it doesn't really matter
What I think
What my mind thinks
Or anything
Because you're gone.

You were never really here.
You were just an idea.
So I guess when I think of a picture,
Just an image,
It really is you.

I'm trying to get away
Get away from my love.
I'm trying to rid my heart
Of you.

But you call my name
And you pull me back in
With your sweet smile
And your cigarette.

We pretend that we don't need them,
That we just have them for show,
But we both know we're dependent.
At least I know that you are.

You pull it to your lips
And I play off my jealousy
For that sip of nicotine
As if I don't wish that
It were me on your mouth.

And I'm trying to get away,
I know you're no good for me.
But your eyes bring me back
And I'm all ******* again.

You just don't get it.
I can't feed this addiction to you
Anymore.
Because it's breaking me down.

You want to read my pages,
But they're riddled with you.
And you want to see my words,
But they're all just your name.

And I need to learn to speak up
For myself.

fly me far from here
send my heart back home
a sickness in my gut
don't leave me here alone.

Frost doesn't care
What anyone thinks.
It moves to its own music
And then waits
To see the repercussions.

A life where your only enemies
Are heat and a window scraper.
Destroyed designs
Are nothing to cry about.
Jack Frost will come around once more
When the sun goes down
And the scraper is put to rest.

I don't know what to say anymore.
She's gone.
Just now
Out of my reach.
That feeling of falling
Is all too real.

Now hitting me that
She's leaving.
Now hitting me she'll
Be gone.
Now killing me
Because
She already
Is.

She's been gone some time now.
And what can I do?
Why didn't I think this all through?
I couldn't keep her trapped up,
Held back,
Locked in forever.
I couldn't keep her all
To myself.

But now she's gone.
So what's it really matter.
I lost my chance,
I left my chance,
She took my chance,
She's gone.

I haven't been able
To love you long enough

To let you leave.

And her kisses were fading,
They were growing ever slower
As they moved away from her
Over to him.

And she always saw it coming,
They were never truly lovers,
But it hit her in the stomach
Just the same.

And now that she has left her
And she went off to her other,
She doesn't really know
Just how to feel.

Because while she may have her other,
As her never lover did,
The loss she feels
Is ever just the same.

I dream of that day
That I rested in your arms.

My lips on the nape of your neck.
My fingertips on your collarbone.
My heart in your hands.

Sometimes moments
Don't need to last forever
In order to stay
For a lifetime.

You'll always be
A part of me.
And I you.

I need no explication
For why your kiss is on my lips.

I care far less
About what people think of me
And far more
About what I think of myself.

I cannot help
But to be selfish
In loving you

I want to get a point across.
To write something that lingers.
I want to make a masterpiece,
Let beauty flow from my fingers.
I want to write a piece of work
That's truly worth your while.
I want to ask for just an inch,
And really take a mile.
I want to live a life that's free
Where people see the good.
I want to sing out in the open,
Not just say I should.

Stop playing
Hide and go seek
With my heart.

I'd have to live
In a dark,
Dull world
To have any chance of
Forgetting you.

You were everything beautiful and bright.

There's no way to explain it.
There's nothing I can say.
The world moves on without me.
I cannot leave this day.

I'm trapped within it's barriers
There's no way to get out.
And no one seems to hear me
When I yell and scream and shout.

I'm just
so
tired.

I need no explanation for why your kiss is on my lips.
Let's pretend that it's for him.
Let's say it's all in fun.
Your words can't change my feelings.
There is no trouble here.
If it's for him I'll see it
But it feels like it's for me.
And I can close my eyes for days and feel you on my cheek.
And I can rest my eyes for weeks and feel you next to me.
Whatever be the reason that you found your lips on mine.
I'll take it in with laughter
And then I'll drink it down.
It'll build up deep inside me and you'll never find it here.
Because while our lips are making small talk in the space between our cheeks
Your eyes may wander towards him
But I'm nursing my addiction to your second-hand love
And it's never going to end
And I don't care.

They love us for our madness and they view it all as play.
And as long as you all see it
Then it's not some form of secret.
And I don't have to speak of it with shame.
I kissed you. And you kissed me.
I kissed you and I loved it.
And nothing needs to come in to ever take me from it.
Unhealthy or unstable frankly I don't give a ****.
I need this in me right now and your smile washes it down.
With every single moment I keep it in my mind
And remember when I'm writing all those times that I was special.
Bubbles and weddings and cigarettes.
And every passing moment.
I'm drunk on all these memories.
They feed on my addiction and I will kindly let them.
I'm coming out and I don't give a **** for who will judge me.
I love him and I love you and nobody can stop me.
So kiss my lips just one more time and let this all sink in.
Please come a little closer let me try.
Give me equal reign of the situation.
And I'll pull your pretty eyes away from his.
And he'll start to question why you cannot see him.
And you'll start to question why you're wanting more.
And when you come right back around to see me.
I'll kiss you like you've never been kissed before.
Watch me.

follow me into
all of my goodbyes.

they're all meant
for you.

There
Is nothing
Wrong with me.

I am
Who
I am.

And it's all looking like home again.
Those broken pieces found their place
In line again
In time again
They found their way.
Through it all the things fighting against them
Playing on their sadness
They brought it back from nothing.
They remembered who they were
And who they could be.
Now they're falling down together
Now they're falling down forever
Now they're falling back in love
And it's all looking like home
Again.

She sends me snippets of her body in photographs. If I was meant to forget her then why would she torture me so? Her hands and her hair. Her eyes and neck and lips. So vivid in a glimpse, I can taste her. Not so innocent when she's unzipping her top in this shot. Not so sweet as she sends me her bare hips.
Photographs.
Are such.
A tease.

It's a giddy, happy, fuzzy feeling,
Knowing someone likes you.
You cannot help but smile
At the mention of their name.

It's a fuzzy, happy, giddy feeling
That bubbles all around you.
And constantly reminds you that
You'll never be the same.

water and air
and a toss of your hair

a little blue
and every thought of you

Nothing compares to a kiss on the lips.
You can brush your lips up against her temple
And you can kiss him on the cheek,
But all those kisses pale in comparison
To a kiss on the lips.

See there's a sort of passion and commitment
That can only be found when lips collide.
You can share a moment with his neck
And give her love on the small of her back
But all those kisses pale in comparison
To a kiss on the lips.

Because while our lips are making small talk in the space between our cheeks we share in a sort of connection that only lips can provide. A sort of understanding that this is more than just a moment of lust, or a second of seduction. This is a sort of connection that holds its ground. Because even if love fails, lips are remembered. Lips don't forget. Lips are forever.

I miss you too much.

I've been subjected
To far too much
Of your *******.

One
Two
Three.
Each have their equal.

Makes a
Two
Four
Six.
All married in the squeal.

Make a movie from this *******.
Write a trilogy for youth.
Paste the pictures on a portrait.
Turn the ******* into truth.

Truth.
What's the
Truth.
Lately I don't give a
****.

Where is God
Where is Allah
Where is Buddha
Where is man.

They're all out there to
Protect us
To give us a glimmer of
Hope.
But I don't feel protected
Not in all of this
*******.

You can't tell me that I matter
With a straight face.
And how funny it is
That you expect me to believe you
When you say it'll be "alright"
And you whisper
"baby please don't
fright"
Baby baby please don't
Frighten the children
With your talk of
Failing kingdoms
And your thoughts of
Desperation.
Baby baby please
Keep it to yourself.

Do you see it yet?
Can you taste it?
All the
*******.
So readily available
For us to take.
To inhale
To pop down
To drink
To inject
To "respect your authority"
To "mother knows best"

Don't let it swallow you up.
When one turns to two
And two turns to four
And then three turns to six
And you're the last one left
To pick up the sticks
Of your crumpling family tree.

Maybe if your two sisters and your brother
All got married and went off with their
New little families
You would understand
Just what I'm going through.
This failing family I'm asked to
Hold together with old band aids
That were used to cover the
Scars in this unit we shared.
Those scars that we swept under the rug
Those "let's not talk about it"
Those "she'll be alright."
I'm sure she just got overwhelmed
By this single moment.
There can't be anything
That we're missing.
There can't be a question
We didn't ask.

It's all *******.

How much longer must I paint on my face
Each morning
To maintain this facade
That I'm not broken inside.
That I'm not so
God
****
Alone.

Drowning
Down
Down
Down
In all of this
*******.

Trying to reach the surface
Trying to let you know that I'm
Not okay.
And that I'm no longer sure that
I will be.

How much longer must I
Stay here.
Hearing you all sing
"Baby baby it'll be alright
Don't you worry don't you fright
It's just a phase
It's just a feeling
It'll pass
It'll pass."
Well let me tell you what.
Let's pretend you care for a minute
And hear me out one last time.
Then I'll shut up and you can go on
Drinking down your ******* with a painted on smile.

Sometimes people are not okay.
Sometimes people are suicidal.
Sometimes people are struggling.
Sometimes people fail.
And sometimes people don't need a doctor
Or a pill off some prescription
To be okay again.
Sometimes they need you
To break through the *******
And to stop caring about
Politics and what your mother and father taught you
To be right.
Sometime you need to forget it all for a friend.
Tear away the stigmas and the stereotypes and all of the
*******
And just hear them out.
Hold them close and tell them
"Baby baby it's okay
To not be okay
All of the time."

Sometimes we just need a break
From the *******.
So please,
Just give me some space.
I'll be okay.
I'm sure I just got overwhelmed
By this single moment.
It's just a phase
It's just a feeling
It'll pass.
It'll pass.

I'm lost
I'm lost
I'm lost.

I'm lost without your loving.
And I'm completely out of words.
And I'm completely out of rhyming.

I need you once again
To bring back that special something.
I need to feel your touch again
Just to bring me back from nothing.

I'm sorry
I'm not entirely
Here.
But my heart
Has passed
Away now
And there's
Nothing to
Mourn it
Anymore
But
My mind.

Your face was so familiar to me,
Having seen it when I closed my eyes.
But now my sight is fading
And with it your affection
Leaves my lips.

She grips her sides with laughter
He kisses her through his smile.
She looks into his eyes at once
And they radiate his joy.

She comes around the corner
Just moments ago she was nothing,
But when she glances at them
She becomes all things at once.

She cannot let this show now,
To him or her or others.
They have something together,
So does she.

So she goes off to her lover
And they share some time together,
With all the laughter and the kisses
Those two shared.

But every chance she gets
She will peer around the corner
To catch another glimpse of them
To covet their true love.

And then one day they spot her.
They catch her hand in passing
And hold on to her breath
Till morning comes.

They all share in this feeling,
With him and her and her.
They're caught up in emotion
When the sunrise light breaks forth.

And she leaves her magic slipper
Like a modern Cinderella,
But as they hold it in their hands
It is her heart.

So she goes off to her lover
And they share some time together.
With all the laughter and the kisses
Those three shared.

How terrible it is
That I have come to the point
That to love you I must
Let you go.

Love
Love
Love me.

My dear
My dear.

Sounds
Of a familiar
Song

A tune
To follow
The bridge
To remind us
Of past love

The new
Unexplainable
Sensation

Of an
Old song
Taking
New roots

you
you
you
you
you
really
mess me up
inside.

I've learned so much from you.

I've learned that I can fall in love repeatedly.
With your eyes
With you lips
With your smile
With your laugh.
I can fall in love however I want.
Because this love
Is mine.

Sometimes
I catch my eye
In the mirror.

I catch myself
Looking at me
And I give a wink
And a smile.

I ask me
How I'm getting along
And
If I'm doing well.

And then I part ways
With my mirror self
Because for some reason
All I can get
From mirror me
Is responses
That are made up
Of the very same
Questions
That I had asked myself.

And I just cannot handle
The kind of pressure
That those loaded questions
Hold.

Your scent is on my clothes.
Or is it on my skin?
Never matter where it is,
It may as well be everywhere.
It's all I can think about.

I can't live with you
I can't write without you
I try not to miss you
But miss everything about you.