I hate the way I woke up,
hungover,
and all alone, again.
I hate the loneliness and
I understand why I am
every time I see my
reflection in the toilet water
throwing up last night's bottle of gin.
I hate the way I waste the day
and do it all over again that night.
I hate this cycle that I
cannot break.

Though I now may be damaged,
I could never hurt anyone
the way you hurt me.

Just because you
have a damaged past,
does not mean you
have to have a damaged future.

She asked if I
wanted to dance in the ocean
I said 'only if
you promise we won't drown'.

You are the sun
shining upon me,
a withering sunflower,
from dawn until dusk.
We dance in the sunlight
and dream in the twilight
and flourish every day
underneath your brilliance.
So keep on beaming your magic
down upon this Earth
and make your alluring spell
last forever.

There's so much darkness
between us that the shadows
are afraid of the dark.

Light dances off your red dress;
I think I adore you.
But it’s never the right time,
the clock ticks and distance
drags us apart like two galaxies
helpless against the dark energy
that keep us in our place.
It only reminds me
that time is running out;
that we’re moving further apart
and never toward one another..
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to hold you
to hear your voice guide me to sleep,
to undo this dark energy between us.

If the stars
were to fall with
every thought of you,
the sky would surely turn
to darkness and despair.

If the stars
were to shine with
every thought of you,
the sky would surely turn
to the heavens above.

Darkness calls me
at midnight and takes pity
on this lonely soul.
The night turns cold and
the shadows return after
another busy day of
distracting myself in light,
out of their reach
if only for
a little while.

We are all
children of the sun,
but you outshine
all seven-billion
who walk this Earth.
Daughter of the sun,
share with us your light
and lead us out of darkness.
Daughter of the sun,
shower us with warmth-
this place is cold without you.

To this day,
I can still sense you
in every sunray and
all its warmth you have shared
with the world.
Daughter of the sun,
it is with your light
this world doesn't seem so cold
so for the sake of humanity,
don't you take that away.

It’s the end of winter
And happily,
The sun is smiling
Down on me

It’s the dawn of spring
And calmingly,
The moon is smiling
Down on me

Have you ever danced
to the rhythm of the sunflowers?
The notes of the sun fall on our feet
as I sway with the petals
from dawn until dusk.

You planted sunflowers
in this heart and so gloriously they grew,
under the sun they glow,
singing your name from
dawn until dusk.

I saw you,
daydreaming yourself into a world
that is kinder than the one we live in.
Good for you,
that kind of peace
is hard to find.

It's been a while
since the last time
I dreamed of
you and I.

I am so submerged in solitude
that I longer feel the need to resurface.
I have found a home at the bottom,
in desolation and darkness.
I do not need those above,
nor do I want to belong to a
sun that scorched me so
very long ago.

If you truly want
what's best for your heart,
then loving me is not the path
you should venture down.
I am but a dead end
waiting for you at
the end of
the road.

Dear Aria;
Merry Christmas;
I don't know how I got this far
without you but I
will keep going
for you.
I miss you.
I love you.

December creeps up on us,
and suddenly, I feel unburdened
from all I have carried this year.
No longer stuck, no longer trudging
through the days, weeks, months
I thought would never end.
Time to cleanse my soul of all
the turmoil and ties I do not
wish to carry into the new year.

****, is it December already?
I've only just caught up
on all these feelings,
these changes and
days flown by.
They have all come and
gone like a stranger-
and now it is ending.

December is just
a month-
so why all the
gloom?

The memory
of you leaves me
yearning,
dreaming,
for your warmth
in this December cold.

De-center them.
De-center anyone and everyone
who gives you the slightest shred of doubt.
De-center from those you need to
and center on yourself.

The sea
is shallow,
as is the Grand Canyon
when compared to how deep
my love is
for you.

Wouldn't it be nice
if life had a delete button?
Imagine the memories,
the people, the feelings
you could erase with the
push of a button.
That would be nice,
wouldn't it?

So foolish to
think that we are enough for
each other’s demons

There are demons
in all of us.
The sooner you can admit that,
the sooner you can get on with your life.

Every time I
talk to my demons,
it always comes back
to you.

When the demons
get too loud,
all you can do is
write to them or
let them **** you.

I am hollow
but full of demons
and nothing more.
I hear their shrieks echo
through this soul and sometimes
it is more than I can take.
Some days are better than others-
some days they do not take the air
out of my lungs and leave me
choking for my sanity.
There is nothing else in me,
not anymore,
just demons and more demons
that swallow me whole.

Every person
comes with their
own legion of demons so
pick a Hell and
make it yours.

Do not trust those
who do not converse with
their demons once in a while,
let alone, those who ignore
or deny their existence.

You made me dependent
and now I hate myself for
ever letting it get
to this point.

Your happiness shouldn’t depend solely on a person.
Whether they don’t care half as much about you,
whether they’ve moved on,
whether you’ve never met them,
whether you hardly know them,
whether you miss them,
whether they ****** you over or
whether they might not even exist.
...but I can’t help it.

When some days
are not so bad as others
but you’re still drinking
and miserable.
the inching hatred
of who you are
but not what you’ve done-
that’s depression.

When some days
are not so bad as others
but you’re still drinking
and miserable.
The inching hatred
of who you are
but not what you’ve done-
that’s depression.

It is paranoia which destroys a man
Like oil destroys the sea
It is anxiety which destroys a man
Like termites destroy a tree
It is jealousy which destroys a man
Like disaster destroys a street
It is hatred which destroys a man
Like cold destroys the heat
It is worry which destroys a man
Like pollution destroys the air
It is anger which destroys a man
Like bleach destroys the hair
It is lust which destroys a man
Like darkness destroys the light
It is heartbreak which destroys a man
Like sunlight destroys the night

Do you ever
lose so much that
you become all too aware
just how temporary it can all be?
Like the ticking time bomb of love,
with each word inching closer
to detonation.

Memories are like stones
Time and distance erode them like acid
and I’m standing alone
I was certain that I found a diamond
I felt myself fading away
Like a memory of yours buried in the past
If only you would stay
You’re my diamond that cannot be destroyed

Dear Diary;
Does not drinking
half a bottle of gin
make me more or
less fun at parties?
On second thoughts,
don't answer that.

Dear diary;
I thought about dying today...
or so I thought I did.
I think about death a lot lately
and I'm not too sure I
know the difference.

Dear diary;
who am I?
Whoever I am,
I frighten me.

Dear diary;
All of the good days are nothing
compared to the emptiness I feel
since she took her away-
or more like a piece of me away.
And now I think I am getting sick
from all of the poison she fed me
over the past year-
that's all she left.

Dear diary;
today I
did not write,
I did not paint,
and I did not compose.
I did not live today but,
then again, I guess that's
no different to any other day.

Dear diary;
At last,
it is Friday
and now I want
to make bad decisions
that I can survive.

Dear Diary;
Today is for the chocolate lovers
and the hopeless romantics.
This year,
I am not one of them.

Dear diary;
my heart
met my soulmate
in the space between
slumber and waking.

Dear diary;
last night I met the moon.
She forgot how to shine in
the darkest of nights.
We grew close-
a bittersweet bond
since one of us
was fading
away.

Dear diary;
Sometimes I wish
I could stop existing-
no, not to die,
but just to stop feeling-
just to stop being.